The Long Hard Road Out of My Personal Hell
The world has changed.
Its been a long time and a few false starts. I’ve been away from this for far too long. I look around at the world around me, and I have to say: I’m not impressed. In fact, in some cases I’m down right pissed. People all over the planet at each others throat. An election coming up that has spiraled way out of control. Sum it up, hatred is at an all time high. The only way I see to fix it, is to put forth some positive energy into the world. That is indeed what this world needs, positive energy. It needs a lot of it too.
In truth, I’ve had the itch to come back for some time now. I didn’t know if I could though. I kept thinking i was ready but I would sit down at the console, and nothing. Or an excuse. Id thing of something else that i could do. Trick myself that their was something I needed to do. I can’t do that anymore. I started this site with a few things in mind. They are as follows:
- Spread my madness throughout the world. A message that needed to be heard. Spread stories that needed to be told
- Do something to leave a mark. Give my own little one something to look at and shoot for.
- To make an impact on this world, even if it’s a small one. Everything little thing matters to someone
Three things that needed to be that I turned my back Encyclopedia Psychotika? Answers simple, a broken heart. Losing my Seras was a blow I wasn’t prepared to take. It took a lot to recover from that. A lot of soul-searching. A lot of… everything. A Chehsire Cats mind is not an easy thing to repair. Nor is the heart. I still miss her. I’ll always miss her. She was a large chunk of my life. At the end of the day though, she gave me the best gift in the world. My little toon Jazmin has helped to fill the void and ground her dad when needed.
Now that I’m back though… I have a problem. Where do I start? Pick up where I left off? Treat you all to some stories? I guess we will just have to sit down and see what comes out. We will just see where… or when…. we will end up. See you real soon….
As the dust settles, a new dawn approaches….
I sit in the MORTIS. Looking around as the dust settles. It has been a busy year…. Had it been a year? No longer than a year! Traveling does such things to the mind. Times, Space, Dimension jumping can scatter the most skilled mind. Let alone one as long scattered as mine. The life of a Cheshire Cat is often not an easy one. I’ve been sitting here for while looking at the wreckage. The consoles all ash marked. The controls taken apart. Everything half-fixed. It’s time to breathe some life back into this old thing. Maybe fixing the ship will help fix the pilot.
I have such stories to tell you all. Such adventures. Hell, Halloween Horror Nights 25 starts tomorrow and I owe you a review from last year still. So many movies have went untalked about. Such current events not discussed. I’ll just say those are probably best not talked about. It appears as if this world has completely lost its mind. I suppose my madness is not the only brand out there. Some people should really watch what brand of madness they subscribe to. After all, some people are out just to watch this world and its time line burn. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but me and the little bit just so happen to call this plane home. Can’t allow it to go to complete shit now can we. She’s a little too fond of this dimension.
I get up from many chair. It’s so dark in here. Lets take a look outside. Opening the door i look down at the Earth. So peaceful from way up here floating in orbit. Scanning the land, I have to say I don’t like what I see in a good portion of it. I’m done with the negative. The negative side of life has choked me out for far too long. I stretch my arms and crack my neck. As my neck makes a loud pop, my hat falls. Man is it dusty. I slap the dust off and place it on my crown. My eyes widen as I run inside. A grand idea crosses my mind. I’ll throw this switch, and turn these knobs! Pull down these levers and turn on the these breakers. The computer console whines to life. Hmm, yes! These commands. Lets change the look of this ol girl. Lets make things look new…NO! Classic. Yes, classic Victorian…But with a bit of pirate. Like my old ship! And with just a dash of steam!
The room lights up as everything goes blurry and fades away. The old, burnt, broken, and busted gives way to beautiful wood and brass work. everything lit up with warm glow. And the gears! Gears! Beautiful Brass Gears! Time to set a coarse…But where too? Maybe we will visit Jack. Jack and his wonderful Carnival of Carnage. Full Report on whats going on with Halloween Horror Nights tomorrow…. I’m back my Cheeky Monkeys! I’m back and its time to switch this life into full overload.
As most of you know, my 2014 was a rough year. A relationship of years dissolved right before my eyes. It was crushing. I had held onto it for so long. In hind sight there were a lot of signs I should have just let it go. Just let it end. Maybe if I would have it wouldn’t have been so hard. I guess the small optimistic side of me just took hold too hard. That started a bad downward spiral for me. One that I kept the magnitude to myself.
I endured a lot over those next couple months. Watching my once fiance with another man wasn’t easy. It was all right in front of my eyes and in the closest of fashion. That was my mistake. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be subjected to that. I think in that tail spin that was my mind, I convinced myself that if I held on long enough, that maybe it would just be a phase. I was wrong. I slipped away further into myself causing all kinds of new fractures to my being. Emotionally, I was allowing myself to be destroyed. To an extent, I am still there just in a lesser degree.
As months rolled by, I started to find myself a little more. I lost friends because they didn’t agree with the way I was handling things, but then times like these you find who your true friends really are. I also gained some amazing friends and repaired a friendship that had been lost to the ages. Funny how things work out. I started to think that I was pulling up. That I was slowly starting to regain myself or some sort of myself…I was wrong.
In thinking I had pulled myself back together, I complicated things with a very dear friend of mine. In fact I had adopted a thought process that I should always be honest with my feelings. I need to learn to control that and modify a bit, because its going to cost me some dear friends. Somethings are just too complex. Now, it’s such a sticky situation to even be able to talk to that friend… Wrapping my mind around fixing the problem. It’s like a clockwork box with millions of small gears. If ones spring pops… the whole thing falls apart.
In closing… I’m a broken being. I’m still all twisted up, but I’m trying to find a way to fix it. I think one thing that would help is if I return here. If I return myself to my work. Allow my madness to flow from my finger tips and on to this screen. I know I’ve lost some viewership. I hope I can earn you all back. Maybe even some new ones. I think I’ll start to chronicle some adventures of my own. Tell you the story of Malice. So my cheeky monkeys….I think this time I won’t make a grand re-entrance…I think I’ll just poor some tea and start to write
See You Soon, My Cheeky Monkeys,
Yet another bit of poetry…hope you are all enjoying this to a slight degree…
That is what this feels like
Gone without a trace
Obliterated from the mind
Why am I the only one holding on
Holding my past memories so dear
What was once something to calm the storm
Is now a black poison in my veins
Everyone else able to continue on
No one looks back and sees what I do
The memories are all but gone
Gone to all, but to me, not forgotten
Everyone sees us as separate now
Like two individuals
Instead of one being together
Or perhaps they are just being too polite
So why everyone else looks forward
I’ll be the one looking back
Fill the needle up with that tar black ink
I will remember—and We will never be forgotten
Let’s do a Truth Thingy…
You know those favorite thingies that get passed around Facebook? Well let’s do one here huh? Who wants to know some truths about me? Everyone! Great! But how many….hm….50? Should I? Shit…too late I said it. It’s go time!
50 Shades of Malice Psychotik
- Favorite Color Combo? Purple and Black…as if you all couldn’t tell.
- Favorite clothing brand? Tripp NYC although I have found a thing or two I love from Red Ball and Dragonfly.
- Favorite type of music? Metal/Rock
- Favorite guilty pleasure type of music? 90’s Pop
- Favorite Disney Hero/Heroine? Jack Skellington/ Sally
- Favorite Disney Villain/Villain-es? Oogie Boogie/ Ursula
- Favorite Disney Princess? Elsa (Chick is Classy)
- Favorite Sci-fi Movie? Back to the Future
- Favorite Comedy Movie? Ted
- Favorite Drama Movie? Moulin Rouge
- Favorite Action Movie? The Matrix
- Favorite Dreamworks Movie? Shrek 2
- Favorite Video Game? Final Fantasy IX
- Favorite Game Console? PS3
- First Person Shooter or RPG? RPG (Most FPS are abysmal)
- Fighting Game or Racing Game? Fighting (I’m not one for going in circles)
- Sports Game or Party Game? Party Game (I tell you this is close…because either way you end up hating your friends)
- Favorite DC Comics Hero/Heroine? Batman/ (Can’t think of one female hero worth mentioning…)
- Favorite DC Villain/Villain-es? The Joker/ Harley Quinn
- Favorite Marvel Hero/ Heroine? Deadpool/ Rogue
- Favorite Marvel Villain/Villain-es? Green Goblin/ Phoenix
- Favorite X-men (Top 3)? Wolverine, Gambit, and Nightcrawler
- Favorite Band? Slipknot
- Favorite 70’s Band/Group? Kiss
- Favorite 80’s Band/Group? Def Leppard
- Favorite 90’s Band Group? I actually don’t think I have one….
- Favorite 00’s Band Group? Slipknot
- Favorite Pop Singer/Group? P!nk
- Favorite Pop One Hit Wonder? “Living La Vida Loca”
- Favorite Rapper? Eminem
- Favorite Soda? Baja Blast
- Favorite Adult Beverage? RUM!
- Favorite British Film? Shaun of the Dead
- Favorite Doctor Who Villain? Weeping Angels
- Favorite Car? 80’s Camero
- Favorite Mythical Creature? *Leans in close and whispers “Hail Hydra..”
- Favorite Monster? Vampires
- Favorite Cryptozoological creature? Big Foot
- Favorite Anime? Fullmetal Alchemist
- Favorite Manga? Hellsing
- Favorite Anime Character? Uchiha Itachi
- Favorite Animal? Tiger
- Favorite Book? “Long Hard Road out of Hell”
- Favorite Theme Park? Universal Orlando
- Favorite Theme Park Ride? The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman
- Favorite Classic Film? Dracula
- Favorite B-movie? Mr. Hush
- Favorite Cult Classic Movie? The Crow
- Favorite Director? Tim Burton
- Favorite Composer ? Hans Zimmer or Danny Elfman…its very close…
A Little Poetry from a Darkend Light…
Here are a few smaller poems…just don’t see taking up a whole article for each….
Love to Despair
Soaring, Running, Leaping
Passion, Devotion—Destitute, Disengaged
Crying, Hurting, Falling
Stuck in the blizzard
Body gone numb from the cold
Froze still, No Way Out
There once was a boy from yonder
A relationship with a girl he did ponder
He asked for her hand
She left her man and–
Around Hell he now wanders
Hatred flows from my veins
A poisonous black
Causing my insides Pain
Makings my feelings lack
The worst for you I wish
You worthless piece of shit
Nothing but a silver fish
Leaving my life in the pit
You took from me life
A thief in the night
She was to be my wife
You knew it and did this in spite
For your sins you will pay
This is your destiny
Its coming your day
Karma is coming for My Enemy
Lost Without You…
Poetry was once a way I used to cleanse the soul. Well apparently I still have some cleaning to do. So for the next week or two expect poems and stories that aren’t to cheery….sort of doom and gloom…
I wish there were words
Words to Explain
The pain that I felt
When it all went away
The sorrow that crept in
The devastation that occurred
Like nothing I’ve ever felt
Like no pain I’ve endured
I’m so lost without you,
wading through a blinding snow
My life once had true purpose
Now I just don’t know
Never would have thought you gave me this
Such a perfect definition
But now that you are gone
I’m waiting to find my life’s direction
Which way do I go?
Do I back track or begin anew?
Keep moving at a slower pace
Like I’m neck-deep in glue
So lost without you
Cant face the storm
Can’t find a way out
Will this be my new norm?
Everyone tells me,
One day it will all make sense
That does me zero good now,
They aren’t stuck like this
Lost in a hopeless desert,
An endless sea,
A Fearsome White out
Is whats it’s like when you’re not with me.
So lost without you
I hope to regain my way
Do I charter a new course?
Or am I here to stay?
I know I was here before,
And something tells me I’ll live after
But when you chase a star and it burns
Now what do you go after?
I’m just so lost without you….
Na Na Na Na Na Na Batfleck!
Well the time has come! They have revealed a first look at Ben Affleck in the Batman out fit. I know this is old news! Kiss my furry butt! I present exhibit A…
DAMN IT BARTLBY AND BAXTER I SAID EXHIBIT NOT XIBIT!!!!
There that’s better! Doesn’t it look cool? This is a little more like it. I mean I don’t know what it is about the Batsuit….it just looks better. And it looks like for once Batman wont be in a tank…which is a plus. By the way if none of you have ever noticed I really am not a fan of Nolan Batman. Way too grounded. The only good thing that came from those films was a Decent Joker and a funny sounding Bane. That’s about it. I can only hope they will juice a little more fantasy back into my beloved Batman (I doubt it but we can dream right!)
So what are my thoughts on Batfleck? Well, it’s an unpopular one for sure. I think he will do a good job. I’ve seen worst. (Batman and Robin anyone?) Truthfully Ben is not a horrible actor. He is just one of those that is guilty of being in bad movies. I don’t think he was what ruined Daredevil. I actually like Daredevil. I think a lot of the cheese comes from their era it was made. This was wayyyyy before they really started taking Superhero movies the way they do today. It was no worst than a lot of the action films of the day. I personally blame Jennifer Garners Elektra. Sorry Ben, but your wife sucks. I could go on and on about how bad THAT movie was. Cut the playground fight scene and a few other scenes with Garner out and you have a decent enough movie.
Am I wrong? Time will tell Monkey’s! Until then, try to keep an open mind. If you don’t that’s OK too. That is what the internet is for Baby….
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys,
So I’m usually not one to post depressing news, but I need to post about this because I am pretty bummed. Apparently as of Yesterday, Joey Jordison is no longer with Slipknot. The band posted on their page Slipknot1.com that he would not longer be with the band. Personal reasons is all I’ve heard. But just…damn. Slipknot without Paul AND Joey? I don’t know…most of the songs were written by those two. Slipknot has just always been a large part of my life. It was going to be hard enough without Paul. But now Joey too? Is this the beginning of the end? I hope not!
By the way, I’ve also heard that there was another shooting in Colorado. A. What is up with teens in Colorado B. When are we going to do something to help stop this shit? Seriously….I’m going to go crawl under a rock….
A Word of Advice…
I had something planned to post today, but I’ve been thinking a lot about things and have decided to give you all some heart-felt advice. To many times in life you are faced with decisions. Usually a choice has to be made between what will make you happy and what will make others happy. Some are simple…paying bills…going to work…etc. But some are very difficult because you end up weighing to many factors in. What will my friends think? What will my family think? Will society still accept me if I do this? So many different factors but never once factoring in the one thing that matters most…What do you want? It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. It doesn’t matter what your parents think. What matters is this…Is your choice going to harm anyone? Physically or Mentally? (And I don’t mean can they accept it, I mean does it REALLY harm them.) Is this going to hurt you? Does this make you happy? If your answer is No, No, Yes…congrats! You should know what you are going to do! Do what makes you happy…fuck the haters! Make yourself happy…because life is too short to worry about what others think.
Take this to your hearts Darlings! I will be back tomorrow with some more Madness!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Required Viewing! 10 Movies to Bring in the Holidays!
Hey there Darlings! This article was supposed to be posted yesterday. For what ever reason I was having laptop issues and couldn’t get it to do anything (I need a new one for sure!) Movies play a big roll in my life…and at every holiday! Allow for me to share with you…a list of films that will make your holiday…(whatever it may be)…a great one!
National Lampoon’s Christmas VacationA must for everyone to see. If you haven’t seen it, you go somewhere and pick that shit up and watch it! The movie captures what everyone feels around the holidays. The Griswalds display for us (in every film) how awkward family time is around the holidays. Dreaded In-laws, decorating the house, shopping, that one relative that shows up uninvited…the list goes on. This is the perfect holiday comedy to kick off the season.
The Nightmare Before ChristmasPracticly a required experiance, there is no better multi-holiday movie to exist. Tim Burton lays out what Christmas would be like if every goth kid in the world had their way! If you’ve not seen this, it’s time. The movie has been around 20 years. It’s about time…
A Christmas StoryEven more so than the previous mentioned, I find it hard to believe anyone has missed this movie. This was Christmas Vacation…before it was Christmas Vacation. A movie that tells a tale of Christmas back in a simple time. Come on people TNT does nothing but show this 24/7 at times (is TNT still around?) You have no excuses…
Christmas Carol So many of these movies exist. A lot of them are good…my favorite is the one with Jim Carrey. This 3D extravaganza came out a few years ago and amazed me to no end. You will not be disappointed…
Elf Will Farrel as a giant elf…How could you go wrong? Pick up this movie and be transported to a world of laughter. Maybe I’m over stating this a bit…but it’s still pretty funny and well worth the look if you haven’t checked it out.
Scrooged Bill Murry movies are always good. And “A Christmas Carol”is a freaking classic. What happens when the two meet? Legen- wait for it- Dary!
Jingle All the Way Another one of those movies that addresses problems we all relate to. This one just so happens to deal with finding that “Hot Item” that every kid wants and is going to feel like a loser without. What lengths will the “Ahnold” go to to get this toy for his son? Pretty effing far!
Jack Frost This can work both ways. Either you can watch the horror flick with the murderous psycho snowman. Or the feel good family flick with Michael Keaton. Either way, you are in for a treat. Just don’t mix the two up with the kiddlets eh?
Doctor Who Christmas Episodes Every good little Whovian down in Whoville waits for these. A Doctor Who Christmas special is always magical…or in some cases sad. For those of you that loved Matt Smith, his version of the Doctor will leave us this Christmas…are you all ready? Yeah didn’t think so.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas Another one that works on more than one level. Either you watch the original Cartoon or you watch the one with Jim Carrey….Either one is a great…Either one will complete your holiday!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
The 12 Doctor Revealed!!
Well the 12th Doctor is revealed! Peter Capaldi…and this is the point you realize….the answer was right in front of you the whole time…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Fatality Fest 2013 Right around the Corner!!!
So I’m excited as all hell that the inaugural event for Fatality Fest is in just less than two weeks! Can’t wait for little Psychotik to get to meet Ernie Hudson (I can’t either I freakin love Ghostbusters!) Dee Wallace, Butch Patrick, J. Larose, Timothy Patrick Quill, Oliver Robins, Linnea Quigley, and much more. Heck, I’m not familiar with Jimmyo and April Burril, but you know what they look cool as hell and like my sort of people! They have a Zombie Walk on Friday, movie showings, a SOLD OUT dealers room…I mean we got us a perfect storm people! If you are in South Florida the 7th through the 9th I think I know where the heck you should be. So with all of this positive going on…why is their negetivity? Well you see folks, some aren’t as happy as we are….
You see this convention since being announced has found itself with a bit of resistance. I won’t…name names…it’s not polite. But there does lurk a foul presence in the air. Even my little ghouls and henchman have caught the foul oder of rumors and waste being spewed about this show. Rumors of celebrities being threatened. Told that if they did this show, they would be banned from other shows. Dealers being lied to and threatened. Even rumors that the event wasn’t going to happen. Someone is a little scared. You see Darlings, the Convention scene is a dark shady business almost reminiscent of the old mobster era of the early 19th century. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Little convention promoters treating states like it’s their personal playground and no one plays in their freakin’ sandbox without their say. I say to hell with them. Who do they think they are. And it takes great people to stand up to that. People I have met like Adolfo Dorta…and one I’ve gotten to know recently, Andrea Albin. So why am I mentioning this?…well I feel it should mention. Because if they…these supposed best are afraid of a first year show…then their must be a reason. If THEY have to lie and try to cheat to make their event better or appear that way…their must be a reason why. The reason is…this show is going to kick some Serious ASS!
Like I said…I won’t name names. I don’t think I have to…you see most will put two and two together. Most may even be closer to the situation and put all together rather fast as the party involved has a bad history of burning bridges. Fatality Fest is going to be the next premier event in Florida Freaky Darlings! Don’t miss out on history! I have faith this show will do well…don’t settle for the monoply…let’s promote a little diversity in the horror community in this great state. For more information and ticket sales head over to FatalityFest.com More madness to come…nd see you all at the show!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Top 10 Most Gruesome Ways to Die
Ello there poppits. Your temp hosts Bartleby…
Here to bring you a list of the Top 10 most Gruesome Ways to Die. It took us a lot of digging in the graveyard, but I think we got a good list for ya’! First thought I’d like to tell you this is all coming to you live from the bedroom of Malice and Seras.
Yeah, the connection broke in the Crypt Boss so we had ta come in here.
They sure do have a lot of things in here don’t they? Did you look in the closet? Seras has a closet full of shiet! Oh hey they got a Risk board game! Let’s grab that for later.
Bartleby, I don’t think you ought ta be…
Pipe down you big nancy! I’m just having a look see…Oh wow it opened a secret passage! Would you look at all the….
….That’s a lot of sex toys…Let’s just get to the list huh?
Right! Here we go…At the top of our list countin’ down, we have Shot Gun Blast to the face! Didn’t take us long to find him.The corpse we dug up was one of Jonny “Two Fingers” Doger. Apparently he was skimming a little too much off the top of his dealers cash and met his end with a snap shot from a Mossberg.
Really a big mess he is. Teeth knocked right out the back of his skull. Very simple, but a real nasty way to bite it. I’ve got your number nine right here though. Number nine is from a bloke that didn’t know how to pay the protection money on his business to the mob. So he got a visit from a little thing called an earwig of the carnivorous variety. You may think, this isn’t gory, but it’s when you open up his skull that you see the real carnage. The little blighter carved out his own little nook in the brain matter and layed eggs. When the eggs hatched…well you can imagine…
His brain looks like a nice hunk of swiss cheese…Oh man…to top it off, he was alive through it all. Screaming in pain and no one knew how to fix it.
I got that beat with number eight though. You can’t really see what an earwig does without an autopsy. This one you could tell straight away. This one was a gang member that narced a the gang leader and got him put in the clinker. You see, his gang buddies found him and decided to bring the pain. Just started out as routine beating that would have ended in a shot to the head. However, the enforcer felt a little creative. He had two others hold this guy down and put about six sub way rats on his stomach. Then he covered em’ with a bucket and set small fire on top of it. As the heat started to rise, the rats needed a way out. So they found one…through his stomach. Two out the mouth, one out the back side, and another chewed through his chest like a chest burster alien. Came out right when the detectives were looking too!
Oh man that’s a bad one, but I got one an award winner here…a Darwin Award winner! Daredevils do a lot of stupid things, non more stupid than amateur daredevil Bucky Calhoun. Bucky was tired of jumping cars and going through flaming hoops. He had to do something so amazing, it would go in the record books. He wanted to find a way to fly. It started with the idea to hang glide over a dangerous chasm. Then it evolved to wanting to make that glider go super fast…rocket powered. Like I said though, he was poor. So he went and bought a whole shit load of fire works and strapped them to his back and all over the glider. On the day he performed the stunt, he thought nothing could go wrong. He jumped off the side and got to gliding around. Then he lit his makeshift rocket pack. It worked…like a charm. Too bad he forgot fireworks explode. One thing is for sure…it was entertaining.
Next one is courtesy of a druggie big shot keeping his stash where it ought not be. You see this guy Gorbatrov keeps his angel dust right out in the open so all can have when they come over for parties. Also to try to look like a big shot. unfortunately, things had been getting rough and he needed some protection. So he got himself some nice guard dogs. Wolf Hybrids…beutiful beasts. Well after he got them, he never learned to keep his stash put away. So…one night not too long after he got them, both dogs got into the shit. Man if fucked them up good. So good that they forgot how to obey commands…hell they didn’t even think he or anyone else was who they were. Nope they were seeing all kinds of shit. What ever it was delicious though…cause they ate ol’ Gorbatrov up…
Our next bit of carnage is one of my favorite enforcer tactics. The Colombian Neck Tie. What happens is, you get a fucking good stomping at the hands of your enforcer. Then, when he’s done and wants to make his example, he slits you from side to side giving you the ol’ big grin. Then they pull your tongue out the hole and lay it out on yer chest for all to see. Not many really want to mess with you after that. Interesting fact, they credit that move to Colombians and they werent the first ta use it. No it was actually an Irishman by the name of Murray “Hooligan” O’Reilly. In truth it should be called the Irish Neck Tie…Fun fact for ya…
Now that we are getting to the top of the list, it’s time for real gory stuff. Nothing scares people quite as much as nuclear power. Dave Adams was a humble 9 to 5’er at a state power plant. Did everything right and what was required of him. Never took risks. Sometimes, ya don’t have to take risks for the Reaper to find ya’. One day while at work they were having heating issues near one of the main reactors. He was sent in for a routine check-aroo…the area was cleared…everything went as planned…except for Rodney. Rodney was second-rate flunky that only took his drug habit seriously. Today he had just finished baking after lunch and went back to his post. Not caring to check in at all, he saw a heating vent was closed. Just so happens, Dave wasn’t visible and Rodney flipped the switch. It was too late once they heard the scream wail across the radios. By the time the vents were closed, Dave was a melty mess…and died only 6 hours later….
Oh man! Speaking of melting, this next one is similar, yet opposite. Let me take you back to a simpler time. A time before conventional thought. Late 1600’s it was pretty popular for villages and settlements to take out all of their problems on a local witch. You might of heard of the Salem Witch Trials. Some forget that shit appened’ else where as well. Take you to England in 1695, Emily Calhoun was found guilty of witchcraft in the town of Cheshire. Don’t look for this in history books because it’s been wiped. Brutal killing it was. See it was one of the only times that a witch trial got a real witch. And witches don’t tend to go down pretty. Kind of the reason I chose this one. You see they burned her at the stake. Sounds simple enough, cept for the fact she turned that small burning into an inferno that took down a good amount of area and killed 20 people. All of them burnt to a crisp black. Good ol’ Emily was the last to die, clutching her hands to the sky in anger. Supposedly her spirit still lingers there…and an odd amount of sporadic fires have appened’ there throughout the years.
Getting harder to top these ay’? Well I got a good one for number two. Really should have been number 1, but to be honest number one is a bit more brutal. This one in particular happened to a very famous person by the name of William Wallace. I ain’t gettin’ inta no history lesson here, but I will tell ya’ how that man died. He was hanged, drawn, and quartered. But saying that really gives you no depth to what the English did to him. We was dragged through the streets naked. Hanged, but then released just before he died. Then while alive he was disemboweled and had his twig and two berries lopped off. Then still while he was alive burnt his entrails before him. THEN, they cut off his limbs and his head. His limbs were sent two the four corners to be put on display and his head dipped in tar and placed on the London Bridge…Sort of a loud message eh?
This last one is only possible because of the mericle of heavy machinery.You ever seen the movie Fargo? Well, if you haven’t this one will still entertain you. Apparently, Asner Martinez was out doing some lawn work one day, extensive lawn work. He had cut down lots of branches and trees. After all that he needed a way to get rid of it all…why not make some mulch. He rented a wood chipper with little experience on how to run something like that (of course by little I mean none!) Everything went fine for the first twenty or so minuets. Why he was chewing up that mess left and right. Found it kind of fun he did! Until, a big chunk got stuck. When it did, he didn’t think much of it and reached in to grab it…it was still on. So when it roared back to life it dragged him in and out he came. Chewed him up without stopping and blew Asner chunks all over the yard. Coffin was a right mess.
Well that’s all you lot, we got to start cleaning up before Boss get’s home. This moron to me left crashed The Mad Tea Party the other day. Then when we was looking for a quick fix in the lab…I spilt some bottles…and made a right mess as well.
Right tell everyone Baxter sheesh..
Oh it’s not like Malice ain’t gonna know…
Spirits and Tonics,
Bartleby and Baxter
Happy Valentines Day, Darlings!
Well, a Happy Valentines Day to you all! Such a fun day today is, huh? Love is in the air! People get all wrapped up in Valentines Day…but does anyone really know of the bloody history? Does anyone stop to think of the origin of this holiday? Well I assure you, it’s not just a Hallmark Holiday, as most singles would have you believe…(Although they have cornered the market) No Valentines Day has a rich history thick with Blood that I’m sure you will all love to hear about. I think I’m going to start doing this with all Holidays…I love bursting bubbles!
The Origin of Valentines Day
Research has shown me there are two things that started this day. One is the Roman festival of Lupercalia and the other is the martyr of Saint Valentinus (Oh I do love a good Martyr Story!) In case you don’t know either story here is a little bit of a run down. The Festival of Lupercalia was to celebrate the founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus. To celebrate this joyous of days, they would sacrifice a goat and skin it. Then they would soak the skins in blood and run around slapping women in the face with the blood soaked strips! Apparently it made them more fertile. The Romans did a lot of silly shit didn’t they? Oh and they would also do a match making ceremony where women would put their names into a hat. Think of it like a sexy sorting hat…you know what never mind…Let’s nt bring Harry Potter into this. We don’t need a new meaning to Slytherin house.
The next part of the origin involves the death of the days name sake, Saint Valentinus. This guy even has two stories to his death! In third century, Roman Emporer Claudius II prohibited marriages to young men that could serve in the military. One story says good ol’ St. Valentine preformed the marriages anyway, was thus found out, and killed. Another story said he was imprisoned for helping Christians escape Roman concentration camps. Either way, while he was in jail it’s said he wrote the first Valentine note. Supposedly it was to a girl he fell in love with. The note was signed “from your Valentine.” The rest is history…
Further Blood Shed
Possibly my favorite story in the history of Valentines Day is the St. Valentines Day Massacre. On this day in 1929, Five members of Bugs Moran’s North side gang were lined up on a wall and executed. This would go down in history as the bloodiest of the gangland murders. It marked the beginning of the end for Al Capone, as this drew unwanted attention to him and his organization. He was arrested two years later for tax evasion. Had this not happened, who knows maybe the government would have never looked into him further. At any rate, you should look up more info when you can. Interesting bit of history if I say so myself.
Editors Note: I’ve been to an alternate time line where it wasn’t found out that Al Capone was behind it. I got news for you all, America is a very different place. Let’s just say that Republicans aren’t the worst thing out there. They may be silly, but they aren’t that bad when you compare it to an American run by the mob…Not a good alternate time line at all! I will say though it’s quite fun!
Well, I need to get back to my Seras. We are going to do things that are going to put the rest of the Psychotik Crew in therapy for years! Ever done it in a star dust cloud? Didn’t think so! It’s good to be a Cheshire Cat! Whether your with someone or not, do have some fun. To all of the singles out there, go find a one night stand (even if it’s manual or battery operated).
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
The Psychotik Girls!!!
Hello Freaky Darlings! I have a special announcement for you all. For once, one of my additional ideas for the website is panning out! I believe I mentioned it a while back, but we are going to have our own models for the site. Think of them like Encyclopedia Psychotika’s version of the Suicide Girls. Or like Suicide Girls meets Jager Girls. Difference being, we don’t conform to the norms of beauty. Pretty is pretty…Fat, Skinny, Back, White, Tan, Purple, Blue…Cthulhu help you if your turquoise (Nothing good ever came from those turquoise bastards from Planet Vaxtrum!) At Any rate I expect you all to give them a warm welcome and be sure to visit the Facebook to check them out. Like the page and show some love.
The Psychotik Girls are lead by our very own dazzling femme fatal Seras Psychotik. If you are interested in becoming a Psychotik Girl email email@example.com. Pictures on the Facebook page will be rated PG to PG-13. However, we may do some NSFW (Not Safe For Work…for those of you that are not up on the lingo) photos only available on the site.
Welcome Ladies….to My Madness!
A Psychotik Resolution for 2013
Hey there, Freaky Darlings! It’s been a shame that things have been put on hold so long as of late. The holidays, coupled with laptop issues, multiplied by a multitude of complex humanish problems have left me overly exhausted and without energy…Basicly it’s time for a long trip to Orlando and copious amounts of absinthe. Either way the year is drawing to a close. We are literally only hours away for the new year and I have somethings I would rather like to share with you. One…is my New Year Resolution…It’s sort of the same as last year…or at least part of it. To keep furthering my goals….blah blah blah….The main one though, to stop holding on to childish things. To become more evolved as a person and stop letting little people, with small brains ruin my time. Not saying actually little people, but you know what I mean. It’s time to let some things go completely…MOVING ON!!
The next thing I would like to do is share some fond memories with you all. Lot’s of bad things have happened this year…I mean life has been inside, outside, sideside, and downside…never slowing down and more than determined to keep me down on my ass! Taking that into consideration, all the bad had me thinking about the good. I guess you could say this is a section to honor some great people in my life…also just some great times I had. Let’s list them shall we!!!
10. KuniCon/OtakuCon December 2004
This was the second convention I ever attended and it sticks out in my mind still to this day as being a crazy cool time. It wasn’t because the Con was off the chain or anything. Oh no, far from it. It was one of the most disorganized events I have ever been to. Nothing happened on time, everything was late. It took two hours to get our passes and we pre-registered. My costume was half done…regardless of the fact I managed to deliver on the friend that was supposed to help me’s props. But you know, I had a totally fun weekend. I had awesome hang out time with great friends. I belive I was around Todd Holt and Derek Underhill that whole weekend starting with the rave. Okay, just calling it a rave…doesn’t give it justice. That was an epic-neonic-super-overload of joy/happiness/ecstasy/rage/bliss…Rainbows spoke to me…That was also the first time…and unfortunatly last time…I got to see Select/Start. They are this awesome little group of musicians that perform all kinds of Game and Anime Music. They are great. I think that was the first weekend I recall me being me…
9. Universal with My Grandpa
Grandpa Psychotik was the first one to ever introduce me to the majesty that is Universal Studios. Without him, I would have never gotten to experience rides like Kongfrontation, Hanna Barbarra, or Nick Studios. My trips with him were always the best. He would come get me early as hell the day of and we would get there right when the park opened and didn’t leave until they kicked us out. He always made sure I got to ride what I wanted…and believe me..back in Uni’s hey day, that wasn’t easy! I remember waiting several hours for Back to the Future and Terminator 2: 3D. Heck, I remember when Islands of Adventure was just a dust bowl…then I remember a couple of years later him taking me there 6 months after opening. Your going to see Universal on this list quite a bit by the way…it plays a big part of who I am.
8. Summer Vacation with Granny
I could go on for days about my Granny Psychotik. That woman has done so much for me…it’s really not even funny. My best memories with her were the summers I used to spend with her in West Palm Beach…and then once more in Connecticut. She would always find something fun for us to do. Even though she had to deal with work all day, she always made time to come home and spend time with me. Some of the best times I remember involved The Palm Beach Science Museum, Seaworld, Star Wars Episode I, The Pequot Museum (I’m probably really spelling that wrong), various trips to the mall, and od course trips to Denny’s and Piccadilly (again murdering the spelling). She always taught me to enjoy the simple things in life. She really shaped this twisted little mind.
7. Jurassic Park Island
Not sure why…but when I think of specific beautiful places…Jurassic Park Island at night comes to mind. I have a lot of fond memories with friends and especially my Seras there. I’m not sure why…maybe because we always ended up winding down there, maybe because I love the movie, maybe because at night it is hands down a romantic little place…WHAT EVER THE REASON!! It always sticks out in my head and deserves to be mentioned.
6. Marching Band
Some of you may or may not know this…but i was a Band Geek in High School. Yes, before I fully awakened back in my skin as Malice Psychotik…I was the Bombastic, Shaggtastic Shaggy. I never really appreciated Marching Band until my Senior year. It’s been a part of my old life that I have always missed. The people, the equipment, the uniforms, the blood, sweat, tears, and the screaming crowd (NO DAMMNIT THIS ISN’T THAT FREAKING GARTH BROOKS SONG!!!) I’ve never been able to recapture that feeling of performing. It’s a shame my bands I’ve put together never stayed together. Would have been a great outlet…but then I would have never had time to open this glorious site. I have to say the all time favorite part…was winter bus rides home at night. Never a dull moment…and when it was…be damned if it wasn’t the most relaxed I had the pleasure of being in high school.
5. Grad Night 2005
2005 was a shitty year for me. On of the best things that happened was Grad Night. Disney is actually a pretty cool destination at night. Sort of wish they would have it open late at night for people like me who…prefer it that way. It was the first time I had been there since I was a baby…so really it was the first time. Brings me to mention my friend Whitney Wood. I believe that was the first time we had ever “Hung out” like that. I know I ran into other people that night, but we kind of duded it up the whole evening. Funniest part of the whole night was Space Mountain for the second time. We had no idea that the damn thing had two different tracks…let’s just say that first drop took us by surprise. I seem to remember something else that had to do with us Statler and Woldorffing a comedian. Great night…
4. That One Night at Oz’s
My friend Oz always had people at his house. It was almost like the unofficial party central there for a while. No other night sticks out as the infamous That One Night at Oz’s…It was after one of the particularly nasty Hurricanes in 2004. I needed away from the house and so did a few other friends…so naturally…we met at the one place we knew we could get away from all, Oz’s. Not sure what was in the air that night, but be damned if it wasn’t funny as hell. Between playing video games, watching Naruto, taking a pellet gun to a cock roach, or having the giggles for like 5 hours straight…we all had a memorable night. I miss nights like that…If you are reading this Oz…do know I miss that. I miss that Oz the most…
3. Andrew Albritton
I have too many memories to share about my dear Best Friend Andrew. Me and him have been through Hell and Back. We have had good times and Bad…but I can honestly say that this guy is a dude I will never forget and I’m glad to call him my friend and brother. Earliest memory I have is of me staying over at his house and us watching Austin Powers. I seem to remember Mrs. Pam getting us awesome chicken sandwiches from Burger King and us playing some type of mech game he next day. We always shared everything…DBZ, Gundam Wing, Final Fantasy, That one girl in high school…lolz! Yeah anytime spent with him was a memorable one…to many to name.
2. Little Psychotik’s Birth
So much bad had happened to us before Jazmin was born. I had lost two dear relatives, and was in a massive Car Accident that nearly killed us. My little girl coming into the world erased all of that. We even had a rough time in the hospital…but I remember every second of every one of those days perfectly. There is not one time that I listen to HIM and not think of Jazzy. She was even born in one of two cities Seras and I spent most of our time. So cool how so much ties together. Anytime I’m down I think of that and instant repairo! Good moods a comin’
1. Trips with Seras
My number one favorite memories are all of the trips I have had with my dearest Seras. Whether it was coming back from Jensen late at night, Universal, Sebring, or Tennessee…I always loved our late night car rides. Sometimes I would be so tired, but it’s like it didn’t matter I was where I wanted to be. I had a kick ass day or weekend…and that ride home was the icing on the cake. I always think of those times while listening to Dir En Grey, Marilyn Manson, Cradle of Filth, or Avenged Sevenfold. Probably because that’s what was in the cd player 24/7…lol…Always a good time though…I love you boo…
Well any way, next year is going to be a big year for the site…I hope…New ideas are starting to come together a little more rapidly. I wanted them to be already active, but things what they are…let’s say you have to break a few eggs to make a omelette. I’m sure you will all like it. I won’t gloat…it’ll jinx it…instead I’ll just say I’m sure you’ll like it
Until Next YEAR, My Freaky Darlings, (Had to go there!)
P.S Some honorable mentions are in need too. Not that they aren’t fond…I just don’t want to rename the list…and this isn’t Christmas anymore so 12 is a ridiculous number to use…
* My Brother Matteo Tullio- Dude anytime we have ever hung out…it turned to gold. You are right up there with Andrew. The other part of the Triforce man. I miss our early morning trips to Pogey’s…or the impromptu trips to Star Bucks out on the turnpike.
*The First Drop of Mansinthe- Words do not accurately describe that night. The most I can say is Friends Todd Holt, Seth Garner, Gerry Sparks, Heather Smith, Seras, and Me all tried Mansinthe for the first time. I, not having my bearings with me, mixed it on the high-end and made us trip balls bad! Like you’ve heard that song “Happy Together”? That was literally playing in our heads at the same time. We were all so very cat happy. All courtesy of Todd supplying us with Alcohol and Snuggy’s…and Seth raping his car…that was funny too! Good Times!
HAPPY NEW YEAR MOTHA’ TRUCKAH’S
MURRAY CHRISTMAS FREAKY DARLINGS!!!
As the day comes to an end I offer you a very fond MURRAY CHRISTMAS! No poems, no articles, no stories, or Krampus to boot….Just Murray Christmas to all…and to all a good night!
Happy Turkey Day, My Freaky Darlings!
Well, I hope all of you are out to a good start for Thanksgiving Celebration. Who doesn’t love a holiday about consuming copious amounts of delicious food. A holiday grounded in gluttony….fabulous! OK I do realize there was that origin part with the Native Americans and the fellows with the fancy hats, but let’s be adult and call it what it is. You can be Thankful all you want, but at the core this Holiday has mostly lost it’s feeling. To be honest, observation will show today has a different meaning. To quote our new artist Lotta Pieces (You will all be meeting her very soon!) Thanksgiving is more like a Tailgate for the new American Holiday…Black Friday…which now starts on a Tuesday…(You humans are fabulously fickled!)
For those of you unfamiliar with Black Friday (and if you are, crawl out from the rock you are hiding in and do please join the rest of us in the light) is the biggest retail day of the year. This is the day everyone buys copious amounts of…ur…um…things…for the next big celebration Christmas…X-mas….or Winter Solstice…which ever you celebrate. Not to say people don’t use Black Friday to buy things for Hanukkah or Kwanza either…I’m loosing myself…ANYWAY…Biggest sale day of the year where copious amounts of things are grabbed up instead of being eaten up. How ironic a Holiday founded on Greed right after Gluttony (Why can’t we have more founded on the concept of Lust? Ha Ha!) So to the people preparing for the Black Friday Holiday, Happy Black Friday.
In all seriousness, Happy Holiday to all from us here at Encyclopedia Psychotika. Do attempt to be safe for the holiday and try not to kill anyone (Goes double for those of you going to Black Friday!) I’ll be enjoying the Holiday with my dearest Seras and the little Psychotik in our little hovel of a town. Getting out with the locals should be…different. I really must find a better place for us to reside…Now eat some fucking Turkey people!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Well, unless you have been living under a rock with tar poured deep in your ears and your eyes sewn shut….you know that Barack Obama has won another term in office…this Psychotik can’t be happier. The world is a lot safer now with out that crack pot trying to run it. (And that’s coming from me and I’m pretty sure I’m certifiable INSANE!) Wow, did I just say that!? See that’s the thing with this election, this one just seems like it has been different. Not sure if it’s the candidates, the amount of bullshit special interest groups, the fact that 99% of the GOP are whack jobs, The fact the Republican President Elect was a complete and utter numskull,or the fact the media has basically made the presidential campaign a sporting event…WHAT EVER IT IS!! It just seems to me their was a lot more riding on this one. Normally, I wouldn’t be compelled to write anything more than a couple of words on the topic, but this time round I feel a few more words are very necessary. I mean the fact that a weirdo like Romney made it as far as he did, has really shaken me to the core about the state of this great nation. How does someone who really knows nothing of how a country should be ran….or for that matter how to be a human being…almost get to become president? (Well not as close as that, he got killed with the vote…but I’ll get to that) I think what people needed more was to hear the Truth…Because if we only knew the Truth about it…Maybe we could work a way around it….(couldn’t help it!)
The Convenient Truth
Like I said, I find it very disturbing that Mittens made it as far as he did. The man clearly had a screw loose. How does a man go so far on thoughts and ideas that have no backing or proof and is constantly shown to be a liar? BLIND PEOPLE. FOLLOWING OTHER BLIND PEOPLE, FOLLOWING PEOPLE WITH AN AGENDA!!! You can not be pro-Obama, Hell I’ll admit that man ain’t perfect and has his fair share of bad ideas. But to vote for someone like Mitt Romney, who very obviously has nobodies interests in mind but him and his small group of friends based on the fact you don’t like Obama…is ludicrous. You do know there are other people running right? You do know the two-party system stays around because you won’t vote for anyone else right? Since when should we compromise our country, our home…because you don’t like this guy and the other guy is the only other choice. That’s like facing down to murderers, and your going to choose the guy with the Chainsaw because the guy with the machete isn’t dressed right!
I think the worst part is that the proof was right there what this guy had in mind…He didn’t hide it, or make it a secret…until it started to look real bad! Then he would look you straight in the face and lie! This man was anti-gay, anti-poor, anti-woman, anti-FEMA, (starting to think I’m singing Marilyn Manson’s “1996”)…
…The main bullet point you should take away from this is he was against a lot of things. Some of the ideas he had (Abortion, Rape, Foreign Policy, The Poor, The Rich, Taxes, Business Ethics) were totally out there and not based in fact at all. To perfectly understand this man, is to acknowledge the fact that he does not so much spout off facts…as much as he rejects reality and instead substitutes his own. Don’t take my word for it though…follow the yellow brick road:
Mitt Romney: 99 Facts
Politifacts: All False Statements Involving Mitt Romney
That’s just a few. A simple Google Search will reveal all! It just disturbs me to think of how many people will get behind the wrong guy when they are afraid…Historically speaking that has never been a good thing…no matter what plane of reality you reside…
People Are Crazy
Now that we have all of the serious crap out-of-the-way, let’s move to the nonsense category. You know humans are interesting to watch! Some of the stuff that they do is just, well entertaining to say the least. Examples? I have plenty! Like did you know a woman in Kenya had twins on election day? Not that weird or funny…unless you know she named one Barack Obama and the other Mitt Romney. Now Barack is understandable (His Dad is from Kenya) but Mitt Romney…just cruel! Or the lady in Chicago that was in line to vote and in labor. Not just in Labor really, but contractions 5 mins. apart “OMG should totally be in the hospital right now!” in labor. In Michigan a man tried to vote…died…was brought back to life…then voted. His first question when he was brought back?: “Did I vote?”
Seriously, you people are a laugh riot…but without you…their are no smiles or rainbows!
Election Night Ya’ll!
Last thing I want to mention and then I’ll go, did anyone else get the feeling the media made this election something it wasn’t? Like, they made it out to be a little closer to boost ratings. Here’s why I’m thinking this. When I first started watching the numbers roll in, I was kind of concerned. It was really looking like Romney had an edge. Then it’s starts getting neck and neck for a bit. I think about midnight was when I got the news the election was already called. Obama destroyed Romney by over 100 electoral votes and by over 3 million in the popular vote. Now to me, that says the media knew more than what they let on…they just tried dragging it out a bit. I can’t prove it…but I can think it…and that’s what I’m gonna do!
In closing what a crazy race it has been. Not near as entertaining as Ru Paul’s Drag Race, but still. And I do believe Ru said it best after the election on Facebook “Obama Shantae, You Stay. Mitt Romney…Sashay, Away.” I still think it would have been funny to have the whole thing decided by Obama and Romney having to lip sync for their life…but we can dream…and I am a dreamer. So to all of you Romney supporters out there that are going to send me hate mail now, I leave you with a thought from me and a quote from Ru Paul. Your candidate may have lost, but it’s not the end of the world. Don’t believe in falsehoods from corporations. This race was between more than what you knew. Be glad Corporate America didn’t win. “And remember girls, If you can’t love yourself…How the hell you gonna’ love anyone else? Can I get an Amen!? Play the music!” Why certainly Ru…Certainly!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
A Triumphant Return!!! I’M BACK LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!
HELLO, MY FREAKY DARLINGS!!!
Yes fellow freaks, I’m back! Did you all miss me? I actually was so worried to look at the stats, because I thought you all might have up and forgot your dear pal Malice. I was pleasantly surprised when I looked today! This site has been the busiest it’s been in months. I guess it is true, absence makes the heart grow fonder! I’m sure you have all been wondering what I’ve been up to this whole time…I’ve been busy!
To start out my little offspring turned 4. We had a wonderful birthday party for her at Universal Studios Orlando. Doing that allowed us to see all of the new things the good people at Uni have added. Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem, The Cinematic Spectacular, and Universal’s Superstar parade. All fantastic new items and I urge you to experience them. Also got to see a little construction over where Amity once stood. Nothing at all to look at unless you get your jollies off looking at construction (A Huge Crane I’m sure turns at least one person out there on!) Let me see…OH! Beat Arkham City…that’s important. Also managed to do some work on some thing’s I know you’ll love!! Hee Hee Hee! Anyway I just wanted to announce I’m back and your Madness will resume soon! STAY TUNED!!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Happy Father’s Day, from one Psycho Dad to the Next!
I know I’m on hiatus, but hey I had to come on here to wish all my parental Freaky Darling’s a Happy Father’s Day. I hope you all are having a great one, I know I am! Wish I didn’t have to go into work tonight, but alas I need to make that “fat cash.” If your reading this and are currently saying, “Oh Shit! I forgot Father’s Day and my Troll Dad is going to freakin’ kill me!!!” Fear not! Halloween Horror Nights has updated their page. It’s nothing flashy, but you can pick up your dear Ol’ Dad some tickets to the most glorious Halloween event of the year! Maybe even pick him up a Annual Pass to Universal Orlando. Currently the new Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem ride is in a soft opening stage. The only way you can get in the park an hour early AND get a crack at it before the crowds is to have an annual pass. Other than that, the ride should open July 2nd. Or maybe yet, pick up some advanced tickets to the new Amazing Spider-Man flick. I picked up a world premier disk from Wally World this morning with a new scene and some behind the scene features. I have to say it has instilled some faith in me. I don’t think it will be awful. Most likely better than the new Batman (don’t get me started!)
Until next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
p.s Did you like how I managed to give several updates while wishing a Happy Father’s Day? Yeah I’m that epic…