I know i said this was coming yesterday, funny thing about life: It always has an interesting way of taaking you in another direction. Not that this is a horrible thing. Sometimes, it takes you in the direction you need instead of the one you want…
ANY HOW!!! MOVING ON!!!
Lets put this baby in to gear and take it there. Input some corridinates. Play with the navigation a bit. I do love the sound the controls make to go to Halloween Horror Nights. You all don’t know about that yet though…Hmmm…Story for another time perhaps? Yes! Anyway, pulll this lever and… We’re off! While we are heading there I have a few words to add. Ive not actually visited this year yet. The opening night was last night. I’ve already heard some good things. This is really just a sit down and see whats in store. I know a lot of you creepy little monkeys already know, but hey there are some that may still not. So far, we are planning to go the 8th of October in this year of 2015. I like how I worded that! HA HA! Also yess, I do realize i still owe you a review for last year. So this year you get a twofer!! Doesn’t make up for it huh? I’m sorry guys just bare **MORTIS crashes down** with me. We’re here!
Let’s open the door and see if we can have a peek. Where are we–
**Door creaks open to see a very angry fire haired clown looking at his now crushed desk**
Crypt with purple lights!? Only one person I know that drives a crypt with purple lanterns… MALICE!!! Get your Top Hatted ass out here! What did I tell you the last time you dropped in!? Call first!
Jack “The Clown” Schmidt everyone! Jack I apologized for that. Besides, you still have Eddie as a Chainsaw weilding maniac! Did you really need the one with the stitched face?
Yeah I know I have Eddie, but do you know what its like dealing with that prick Michael Bay? Almost as bad as watching his Nightmare on Elm Street! I shudder just thinking about it!
What if I promise to get you a new desk hmm? I’m sure I have something. Why don’t you show me around a bit and I’ll have Minion go look for one and set it up? Good?
Alright deal! But it better have some tricks to it. I liked that damn desk! Chance!!! Come on babes, let’s show Malice around!
**I peek in the door to the MORTIS** MINION!!! Get a desk out of one of the old office rooms and set it up for Jack while I’m gone!
Is that an order Bosss. I thought last night at the party we agreed you were downgraded to miniion?
Do you really want to have this discussion now?
You got a point Bosss, right away!
**Chance comes bouncing in the door**
Sure thing! **Stops wide eyed and plays with the dirt with her foot before looking down** Hi Malice…
Hi there Chance…
Do you really want to cross this bridge with me right now?
Yeah your right, let’s get this thing on the road! What we got for this year my grease painted fiend!
As you may know this is the 25th anniversary of Halloween Horror Nights. So who better to help celebrate than yours truely? So to help celebrate I brought some of the best hits from the last 25 years to life in a side show that people won’t soon forget. I even put a twist on a few classics. Last night went well, but as you know it’s not really a show until the body count beats last year! And boy are we hoping to set the bar high. So.. without anymore adue… WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
This year the event boasts nine houses to keep you screaming in terror. Five Screamzones over run with the best kind of maniacs you can dig up. Two shows to make you laugh and make you yell “Hell Yeah!” to the top of your lungs. And finally as a bonus, Universal has graciously let some of their more popular rides stay open, to flesh it all out. The houses look like this:
The Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead: Travel through a maze where the living can be just as dangerous as the Dead. Back by popular demand, Take a trip through the 5th seasons of AMC’s The Walking Dead. Don’t get bit…
Freddy vs. Jason: Ladies and Gentlemen, I remember how much you loved the New Lines Monsters in 07′, So I’ve brought them back again…and in a big way. Two Horror Icons, one house! I’m going to let them duke it out and you get a front row seat. Remember, Whoever wins, you still lose!
Insidious: This trick took some planning. Prepare to take a trip through the Further. A place where everyone is dead and they all want one thing…YOU! Watch your back. As Beetlejuice says, Possession is 9/10ths of the law!
The Purge: Welcome to a world that is my kind of place! They activated The Purge in the streets last year, this year I’m going to make it a little more personal. Will you survive the night? Or just become another Victim?
An American Werewolf in London: This is a transformation you won’t want to miss. And no it’s not Bruce Jenner! One of the most popular house in Halloween Horror Nights history is back! Come face to face as this horror movie classic howls back to life.
Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem: For this attraction, I took a look through the back list of the last 25 years. This is a maze made out of the worst of the worst. The cream of the chop! If you are a Horror Nights fan, all your friends are here. I know you’re just dying to see them…. or rather… you will be.
RUN: Blood, Sweat, and Fears: You know I can’t do a show without Eddie having some input. One of your favorites returns for a third installment. This time the maniacs of RUN are dressed up as a TV show. Makes you really wonder about that new show “Hellevator” huh?
Asylum In Wonderland 3D: Well this made an amazing Scarezone in the past. And everyone loved the cameo in Scary Tales. So I figured… Why not make it larger than life. This isnt the Wonderland you know…
Body Collectors- Recollections: I wonder what will happen when you release the Body Collectors on the Maniacs of Shady Brook Asylum…. Lets find out shall we. What could those collectors possibly be doing with these pieces?
Psychoscarapy – Unleashed: With the Collectors loose in their Asylum, the more aggressive ones hit the street. That place really needs some better security. What do you think?
HHN – Icons: Looks like the gangs all here! Can’t have a birthday bash without some old friends. Its okay kids…they won’t hurt you….Much!
Scary Tales – Screampunk: Your favorite fairytale twisted up with a dash of Saws N Steam… What can possibly go wrong? Well they could turn into blood thirsty maniacs… but that wont hurt me one bit!
Evil’s Roots: Sometimes you just haave to go back to your roots… And that’s what we have done. HHN has grown some pretty horrible monsters in the past, and thats just what I’ve done for you here…. Only I planted them in Central Park! Ha Ha Ha!
All Nite Die-In – Double Feature: You loved it as a house, now its a Scarezone! Whats better than a Drive Thru? How about a Drive Thru that brings movies to life… Horror Movies that is!
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure: Your favorite time traveling duo is back and no pop culture icon is safe! If you have seen it on your Facebook, chances are you’ll see it here. Bring your sense of humor!
The Carnage Returns: You loved my show back in 07′, What kind of host would I be if it didn’t come back! And bigger than ever! Don’t miss the greatest show unearthed…Staring me!!!
Transformers: The Ride 3D: Help the Autobots fight against the Decepticons. Don’t let them get whats left of the All Spark! Personally I’m pulling for the Deciepticons.
Hollywood Rip Ride, Rock-It: Get ready to ride the music! Pick a tune, and then hold on tight! Good luck hearing your song over the sound of all the screams!
Revenge of the Mummy: Saddle up on this run away coaster as the mummy tries to claim your soul. Either I get you or him. Take your pick.
Men in Black Alien Attack: A;liens have crashed in New York and you have been deputized catch them all and bring them back in. If you bring some to me, theirs some green in it for ya!
Simpsons The Ride: Side Show Bob is on the loose and he has set his sights on, surprise, The Simpsons. Some people never learn!
Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringott’s: Can you survive a trip down to the depths of one of the most heavily guarded banks of the Wizarding world?
So, what do you think Malice? Sound like one hell of a show?
Jack I always trust a show you are part of. Why would I have a reason not to? Horror Nights royalty right here. I can’t wait to experience the whole thing in the flesh. Well I hear the sirens blowing up and calling your name. Better get to it. You got a busy night ahead.
That is true. Let me walk you back to the tent.
Any chance i can ask you for one last favor?
Anything for an old friend….
**We talked as we walked back to his office tent**
Well Minion, its time to go back. Before we go though, There is a matter that needs to be discussed.
Oh yeah? Whats that boss?
Well the other night you had some pretty harsh words for me. And well, I just wanted to tell you I’ve thought long and hard on them. I appreciate your honesty and well. I want to reward you with a sneak peek at one of Jack’s secret attractions.
Really Boss? Damn that’s awesome! I thought you would have been mad…
Me Mad!? Noooooo! That’s not me. You see it’s right over here in this cage. You just stand… right there yes, and pull that rope to undo the curtain.
OK here goes! Wonder whats inside...
**Minion pulls the rope. The floor drops out and he falls down a shoot into a dark hole**
Uh Boss I think I pulled the wrong one..
Oh no Minion, you pulled the right one.
You are actually really mad aren’t you?
Furious actually! **said with a smile** IF YOU EVER CALL ME A MINION AGAIN!!! Well, I just hope you remember this…
What the hell is down… OH GOD! Somethings moving…What do you got down here?
**Toss down a light** Here use this.
Nice of you! What do we got dow…. Oh NO! Oh MAN! THATS A LOT OF TEETH
**Maniacs scream, Zombies Moan, and wolves howl down in the hole as a little light runs around the room** Have fun Minion!
How long you leaving him down there?
Oh I’ll be back after this weekend. He’ll be fine. Just throw him some of the garbage from clean up. Have fun!
**Walking inside the MORTIS I turn some knobs and throw a few switches**
Hmm, I wonder where we go to go next. Maybe I’ll think on it…Was I being too hard on Minion? Leave a message in the comments with what you think!
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys,
I sit in the MORTIS. Looking around as the dust settles. It has been a busy year…. Had it been a year? No longer than a year! Traveling does such things to the mind. Times, Space, Dimension jumping can scatter the most skilled mind. Let alone one as long scattered as mine. The life of a Cheshire Cat is often not an easy one. I’ve been sitting here for while looking at the wreckage. The consoles all ash marked. The controls taken apart. Everything half-fixed. It’s time to breathe some life back into this old thing. Maybe fixing the ship will help fix the pilot.
I have such stories to tell you all. Such adventures. Hell, Halloween Horror Nights 25 starts tomorrow and I owe you a review from last year still. So many movies have went untalked about. Such current events not discussed. I’ll just say those are probably best not talked about. It appears as if this world has completely lost its mind. I suppose my madness is not the only brand out there. Some people should really watch what brand of madness they subscribe to. After all, some people are out just to watch this world and its time line burn. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but me and the little bit just so happen to call this plane home. Can’t allow it to go to complete shit now can we. She’s a little too fond of this dimension.
I get up from many chair. It’s so dark in here. Lets take a look outside. Opening the door i look down at the Earth. So peaceful from way up here floating in orbit. Scanning the land, I have to say I don’t like what I see in a good portion of it. I’m done with the negative. The negative side of life has choked me out for far too long. I stretch my arms and crack my neck. As my neck makes a loud pop, my hat falls. Man is it dusty. I slap the dust off and place it on my crown. My eyes widen as I run inside. A grand idea crosses my mind. I’ll throw this switch, and turn these knobs! Pull down these levers and turn on the these breakers. The computer console whines to life. Hmm, yes! These commands. Lets change the look of this ol girl. Lets make things look new…NO! Classic. Yes, classic Victorian…But with a bit of pirate. Like my old ship! And with just a dash of steam!
The room lights up as everything goes blurry and fades away. The old, burnt, broken, and busted gives way to beautiful wood and brass work. everything lit up with warm glow. And the gears! Gears! Beautiful Brass Gears! Time to set a coarse…But where too? Maybe we will visit Jack. Jack and his wonderful Carnival of Carnage. Full Report on whats going on with Halloween Horror Nights tomorrow…. I’m back my Cheeky Monkeys! I’m back and its time to switch this life into full overload.
*Shaking his Ass* SHAKE SHAKE SENORA!! OH SHIT!!! Sometimes vaporation is a good easy way to transport one somewhere. But I’ll be honest, its when you do it instinctively that it gets annoying! Just enjoying a morning romp. Anyway where was I…well I was dancing! *Shakes maracas* Well this is rubbish! Toss these aside *cat yowl* Ohh, Sorry!
HELLO MY CHEEKY MONKEYS!! I’ve missed you all something fierce you have no idea. Again I’ve been away dealing with personal nonsense. I do believe this time…this is what the third time?….Anyway, this time I’ve resolved it! Feel like a new Malice. You will all see a new Malice. See Cheshire Cats….well we are a bit like Time Lords in that…Well that is neither here nor there…or over here…or over here! The main point is, I’ve missed you all terribly and I am dearly sorry to anyone that supported this site and helped it grow. I feel like I’ve let a lot of you down. I am not gone….I am not out. I will survive and preserver! So lets get this show on the road! Halloween Horror Nights starts…umm….this stupid watch *tap tap tap* TOMORROW!! HOLY SHIT ON A CTHULHU!! Well then we have no time to waste! Drag in the banner guys!
Halloween Horror Nights 24 starts tomorrow and I couldn’t be more elated! Oh my, the lineup this year is great: Halloween, AVP, From Dusk Till Dawn, Killer Dolls, Killer Clowns, people who are dead that eat you, people that are alive and eat you…SCAREZONES!!! YES!!! Oh my God, we have a return to scarezones. It’s about time. I guess all those subtle hints and messages really didn’t go unnoticed….
Bartleby: Eh Boss, you kidnapped the head guys intern and threatened to cut off digits until they did bring them back.
Your point Bartleby?
Bartleby: Well you made it to five fingers and a two nubbes….
Sacrifices had to be made…..Don’t you have the MORTIS to polish? Go do that….anyway where was I…OH
With a year this good it is going to be hard to pick a favorite. And they will all be good so….Well I’ll just give you my picks.
8. Halloween- Why do I pick this dead last? Not because I don’t think it will be good. I think it can be done very well. Its more or less this is going to be a house for fans with some jump scares. I really hope this one will blow me away. But…i’m setting the bar low.
7. Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood- I put this over Halloween based on the fact that it’s Dracula and has potential to be gory regardless. I have no idea about the movie and know nothing about it. I still give it better than jump scares.
6. Roanoke- Cannibal Colony- I’m putting this above the last two if not because it sounds very interesting. I will say the only thing that could go bad here is cannibals don’t scare me. We shall see….
5. Giggles and Gore inc- I like the premise. I have great expectations for this house. Clowns….and people being torn apart to make more clowns…i don’t need to give you anymore reasons than that.
4. Doll House of the Damned- Dolls are creepy as fuck by nature. Damn soulless eyes do it for you every time. So if this house sucks, I’m going to be very disappointed. It’s practically in the bag and just with the premise.
3. Walking Dead: End of the Line- I’m only putting this one this high up because its going to be the biggest that Universal has put out to date. Biggest house ever. It better deliver. I’m not alone in the fact I’m sick of AMC taking over HHN. The price of having Walking Dead is just too damn high. So…this one better be good guys….and the last one for a while….Next year I let Bartleby and Baxter eat the lot of them.
Bartleby: Yeah, we do like rotted zombie meat!
Baxter: But…I don’t think they are real zombies boss are they?
Does it matter?
Bartleby and Baxter: No not really!
2. From Dusk Till Dawn- This could either be shit or awesome. They already sort of did this with HHN 15’s Demon Cantina. So they can do this. They can deliver this. Even if it’s a cloned house from those plans I would be happy. Wish it was based on the movie and not the show…but hey…got to work with what you got.
1. Alien Vs. Predator- I may not be a fan of the original movie but the second one requiem was bad ass. This can be done so right. Xenomorphs are terrifying…and you don’t even have to see a damn predator to know it’s horrifying. I peg this to take it…Lets see how it goes.
Normally I would rank the scarezones here…but you know…first year they are back..I’ll just enjoy them. I think I’m going to really like the Purge Anarchy one if not just for the fact I’ll end up getting people. The people I am going with…all of us look like we would belong there. The scarezones are as follow: The Purge- Anarchy, Face/Off- In the Flesh, Bayou of Blood, MASKarade – Unstitched
October 23rd is when I will be there this year. Should be a good year. Will be meeting up with past companions The Legend Billy Fuentez and his lovely wife Margarita! We will be doing the RIP tour and living it up. So expect a nice review! I can’t wait! Halloween Horror Nights 24….BRING IT ON!!
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys!
My Cheeky Monkeys I have some very exciting news for you all!!! Hot off the presses!!! Boys bring in the pic!!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! AND I CANT MAKE IT!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!! Damn ministry of Magic is crafty and casted Anti-Vaporative spells over the parks….must of caught wind…hmmm…Anyway! This is happening and some of the details rolling out are awesome. So far one I’ve seen shows magic shop windows. Yes…now you will be able to use the wands you buy in the park. By finding little medallions around Diagon Ally…you will be able to try out a little magic and see how the other half of your kind does it. I’m just soooooo excited. The only thing better is visiting the Universe those stories take place in.
In other news…not so hot off the presses…some HHN 24 news hit last week. This one is bitter sweet…The Walking Dead will be heading back to HHN for the third year in a row. I’m not happy about this mostly because it appears the deal to get TWD involves AMC’s logo feces spread all over everything. The good part however is this years Walking Dead maze is supposed to be the biggest one in Halloween Horror Nights history. That could be interesting if done right…..Octobers still a long way off my Monkeys…
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys,
Yes Darlings, it’s that time of year once again. We made it through another great year of HHN and it’s time to tell you what my thoughts were this year round. Over all, not a bad year. The houses were pretty good. The ones that didn’t meet up to snuff, were more than carried by the ones that were over the top. The atmosphere was decent to keep the vibe, but the street scareactors were nowhere near as good as last year for sure. We also managed to visit for the first time ever the Transformers 3D attraction and the Springfield area. I’m going to leave those out though, I think they deserve their very own article. I may do that leading into the Thanksgiving leg of the Holiday season..who knows.
Evil Taking Root…Halloween Horror Nights 23 Reviewed
Anyway, I’m sure you are all chomping at the bit to know what I thought. This years trip was a little late some I’m sure you have heard everyone, but mine (Next year I’m going to try to do two times. Once at opening and once more toward the middle) get the dirty business of Scarezones out of the way first:
So for the last two years I get the feeling they are either trying to phase them out or just make them a bit easier to do…or something. Last year you had the theme of the roaming hoards with no safe zones. I rather liked that idea. I thought that they were going to continue that idea this year. Instead it seemed, they were going to marry the two concepts into one. You were going to have roaming hoards with the added effect of themed areas related to The Walking Dead. Sounds good…on paper. The only areas that really seemed to take your breath away were the area themed after the farm and the one themed after the camp site. All of the others were merely set dressing, I felt, with vehicles strewn about. The Atlanta area could have been a lot better. They can do zombie war zones! They did it in Deadtropolis pretty successfully. Maybe if they had firing weapons or soldiers…I don’t know. Also, every zone could have used more zombies. All of the areas just felt spread too thin. I just think the idea was there, but the execution was lacking. Maybe it’s better on a peak night? I don’t know, but I just felt kind of luke warm and was annoyed with the zombies more than afraid. I liked the idea of having victims though…just wish maybe they would have played that idea better.
Again this year I did NOT attend the shows. I didn’t have enough time and…wasn’t interested. The last 2 times I had seen the Bill and Ted show, it was pretty lacking. I feel like the internet has killed the Bill and Ted show. By the time October rolls around a lot of the pop culture references are either: played out, not relevant, internet did it, or they just did it better. I know most don’t care about that sort of thing and I’m sure if you don’t keep up with the internet it would be hilarious to you. I just don’t find it funny. Before we went I heard from several other people who it was what you have come to expect from the last couple of years….that didn’t make me hopeful. As far as Rocky Horror goes, I like that they add in Rocky Horror to the Halloween season. If I feel like watching it, I’ll watch the movie. 20 minutes seems pretty rushed to me. It sounded good while I was waiting for HAVOC: Derailed. So no shows again…to be fair though…I didn’t see them…So I can’t judge them too harshly.
Now for the meat and potatoes! Countdown begins with:
8. Afterlife Death’s Vengeance– I was disappointed with this house. Everyone played it up so much for me. I’ve grown to get excited when I see a 3D house. I’ve been pretty impressed since HHN 17. The In Between from HHN 21 was the best out of that style of houses. This one seemed like a bad attempt of a repeat. The scares were few and far. The characters weren’t original. I sort of liked the concept of going into a executed murderers personal hell. I just don’t think they delivered on that at all. The torment aspect wasn’t there. It more seemed like you were going through his head or…I was just very confused and didn’t like it. A lot of the 3D effects were very recycled and repeated. I wasn’t wowed at all. Maybe give the 3D thing a break next year…
7. HAVOC: Derailed- I will give them this, it was better than the first HAVOC: Dogs of War. I really didn’t like that house. This one was pretty decent in the last couple of scenes. The first few were very basic and sort of lazy. You really just walked in a straight line down the “Train” as the Dogs of War rattled cages and tried to slip out. The better parts came when the train derailed and you were left outside with them. I got one good scare almost by chance. I walked into the scene and one scareactor stand alone in the darkness. He looks at me and says “Nice Hat.” Before I could answer he gives the command “TARGET!” and before I knew it i was surrounded by about 8 scareactors all with guns trained on me. Pretty intense…That was about it though. I don’t find soldier people scary…sorry
6. The Walking Dead: No Safe Haven- This wasn’t a bad house. It was pretty decent, just the others were better. I think maybe if they would jump away from trying to take you through that seasons events, they could do better. I know at that point though, how would you know it was The Walking Dead? Like I said though, it wasn’t bad. I liked getting to walk through my favorite scenes. Seeing them come to life had a bit of a wow factor. I enjoyed the whole making you crawl down by the ankle bitter zombies. I know what they were going for with multiple versions of the “Penny” zombie, but it ruins the illusion when you see several at the same time. The phone trigger was really cool. I just wish you could hear it better is all. The final scene is the best. Walking the cell block over run by zombie was pretty cool. The scareactors were a bit better there as well. On a final note, I’m a bit tired of The Walking Dead being at HHN. I’ll touch on it more towards the end, but I do hope they give it a break next year.
5. Resident Evil: Escape from Raccoon City- I loved this house! It was a lot better than I thought. I will say it could have been terrifying with a few tweaks or if they would have used the films, but still top-notch job. You had all kinds of nods to game fans. Look for herbs or other items lit up especially for you to find like in the game. The scenes as well as the monsters look very authentic to the game. You do feel like you are dropped into the game. You especially get that feeling once you walk through the type writer room and into the “PAUSE” room. There you are greeted by a falling Leon being attacked by a Tyrant…frozen in mid-air. You get a few good scares from some zombie dogs, some lickers, and Tyrant in the wall. I actually really liked this house. It was all topped off by the “Your Dead” at the end. Would love to see more.
4. Urban Legends: La Llorona- This house came out of left field to surprise me. Most people had been saying how much they disliked this house. I think it was just because they didn’t do any research. The story of Llorona is a very spooky one indeed. Also very emotional and dramatic. The scareactors were the ones that made this what it was. Again i have to say, I was missing some scenes that were absent but present in the Hollywood version. The actors made up for it though. The Lloronas that populated this house had this way of looking menacing a disturbing even when they weren’t actively scaring you. The amount of pain that was conveyed was fantastic. The very first one you see comes out moaning and bends over backwards over a childs coffin…creepsville man! The scene with the children face down in the water was pretty intense. A LOT of misdirection. I enjoyed the whole thing. Don’t miss this house!
3. Evil Dead- I’m usually pretty harsh on the houses that just take you through the motions of a movie. But I have to say, this house does it like no other. You walk through a room that sets you up with the book and pages above your head. Then you walk through the title logo accompanied by the dramatic opening music. From there it’s pretty much the movie summed up and in your face! Pay close attention while the character is reading from the book. They use a projections system to still show you the demon coming through the woods. All of the effects were great. The way you were taken in the cabin out of the cabin, and back in was smooth. Usually houses like this have a rough transition. Wasn’t a problem here. You even get to see the epic final showdown between Mia and the Abomination. Surprisingly had a low wait all night. Don’t miss it!
2. American Werewolf in London- First house of the night and boy did it set the pace! Amazing! Just amazing! I would have never expected to see such craftsmanship in the puppets. The special effects were what get you the most. That and those puppets. Every time you see a wolf whether you see it coming or not, it gets you good. I also like the Police Box…I KNOW IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE THE TARDIS!! BUT WE CAN ALL DREAM RIGHT?! Doctor Who reference aside, you will love this house from beginning to end.
1. Cabin in the Woods- Not only is this number one of the year….NUMBER ONE OF ALL TIME! Never before have I seen scenes from a movie replicated so well. Never before have I been actually “Scared” in a house. And never before have those images stuck with me when I’m trying to sleep! This is the house to see. You don’t have to watch the movie, but you will appreciate the terror a bit more if you have seen it. The elevator scene gives you the best “HOLY SHIT!! OMG!! WTF!!!” feeling in the world. Stay in there until it dings…don’t leave until the elevator dings. All of the monsters are recreated with the most epic detail. Don’t miss this house. Hit it early, the wait time is killer. This one WILL be a white buffalo if you miss it. Promise that
After taking everything in. this year was cemented at the top! I will definitely remember this year for years to come. That being said…Can we please NOT have Walking Dead have anything to do with next year? I was so sick of it by the end of this year. The logo was all over everything. The scarezone didn’t execute well, the house was so-so, and it covered the merchandise. Time to grow a pair again Uni. Do your own thing. Don’t ride the fads. The IP houses were pretty good, the best ones this year. But don’t forget you started this shit, and you kept it going for a while doing your own thing. More so your own than with IP houses ((IP= Intellectual properties)) Don’t forget Universals 100 year Legacy of Horror. It means you guys know your shit!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello, Freaky Darlings! 5 Days out from Halloween Horror Nights…so this is our Road to Terror. What better way to pass the time than talk more about Halloween Horror Nights? I kind of wanted to lead out with a prediction list of what we think the best HHN houses this year will be. At the last second though, I decided to take a look back at our picks for the best of the best. The ones that still to this day stand out in our heads the most. These are what this years event has to shoot for. Will one get knocked off the list this year? Who knows! So which mazes made the cut? Let’s start with 10 huh?
Psychotik Top 10: Best Halloween Horror Nights Mazes
10. Screamhouse: Resurrection- Halloween Horror Nights: Sweet 16
Coming in a number 10 is the second incarnation of Screamhouse from HHN 16. What made this house in particular stand out was the atmosphere and smells. The Facade was very well done. I remember it well. The interior just blew me away. All of the Caretakers in this house were awesome. Made sure to swing those blades they had right past your head. I also remember the smell of dirt as you wandered into the crypt area. That smell has stuck with me for years. In fact, I get flash backs every time i walk past the mulch at Walmart…
9. Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Walkers- Halloween Horror Nights 17: Carnival of Carnage
Good old Freddy Kruger finds himself in the number 9 spot. Dream Walkers had so many things done right. Out of all the New Line slasher houses, this one was the best. It had a great story leading into it. Your mind was just turned topsy turvey in this maze. To set up the house you walked through a tent where Freddy had some human puppets pump a sleep drug into it in large doses. From there you are put right in front of the iconic house from the films. As you walk through your very own nightmare come to life, you were brought some pretty epics scenes from the film. Ending the house in the boiler room really clinched it for me. I don’t ever remember a dull moment to be honest. Just a great house all around.
8. H.R Bloodengutz presents Holidays of Horror- Halloween Horror Nights 21
This house was just darling. Some of the most cheesy, campy, and sometimes- very good- horror movies are those based on Holidays. This is what this house was about. An old Horror host at the end of his rope decided to make one last stand of it and show the big wigs what real terror is. While he is doing this to them, he takes you on a tour of Holiday terror. It was great walking through and trying to guess the holiday. Arbor Day was the hardest to guess. I loved the nuclear explosion in Presidents Day with the zombie presidents. That was just great. Definitely an idea you hope to see revisited down the road.
7. Where Evil Hides- Halloween Horror Nights 15: Tales of Terror
Had to look to the back of my vault for this memory. HHN 15 was my first exposure to the event. It was also the last year they did the event across two parks (LOT’S OF WALKING). This year always holds a special place in my chest. This is one of those memories occupying that spot. This house had a grand entrance to an old house. Basicly everything you would be afraid of as a kid, this house took it to the next level. Dark corners, weird noises, half cracked doors, the monster under the bed…anything you can imagine turned to pure nightmare fuel. If you weren’t careful, you could have missed The Storyteller in the attic reading a story to a victim on a bad of spikes…with an anvil hanging over his head…The house was also built so well if you managed to get ahead of your group, you could enjoy scaring them as well (I hate you Andrew!)
6. Scary Tales: Once Upon a Nightmare- Halloween Horror Nights 18: Reflections of Fear
You didn’t think I would leave Reflections of Fear out do you? This is the only Scary Tales house I have been through, but damned if it didn’t leave a lasting impression. So many things right with this. What is not to like about fairy tales gone wrong. You had a footless Cinderella, a full mad Alice (She was eating poor March Hare! The nerve!), and all of this mess caused by the Evil Queen. What still sticks out in my mind the most was the Alice in Wonderland Scene and the Oz scene. Like I said the Oz scene you were transported to a mad tea party gone terribly wrong (Poor Hare never saw it coming I’m sure..) The Oz room took you into a corn field with demented versions of the classic characters. Dorthy had been tied up and murdered. Scarecrow was left to pluck at her brain. A very Angry tinsman would either A) swing an Ax at you or B) Squirt you with oil. The Lion would roar as you left the room. You really did have to see the characters for this as they were pure nightmare fuel.
5. Nevermore: The Madness of Poe- Halloween Horror Nights 21
Top 5 people here we go. What a good way to start it off. I was so please this house delivered. I’m a big fan of Poe’s work and it was nice seeing it brought to life. You had a shit ton of scares. Lots of misdirection. I think my favorite scenes were from the Tale Tell Heart”, “The Masque of the Red Death”, and one scene that involved Poe and Virginia. Lot of great effects were used. If you are a Poe fan or not, you could have found enjoyment in the house. Everyone loves a good Madman. Could they do this house again…Quoth the Raven…Eh Maybe…
4. Demon Cantina- Halloween Horror Nights 15: Tales of Terror
Here is the other part of HHN 15 that sticks with me. This was my first year, this house was my first one ever! Demon Cantina is a nice homage to From Dusk Till Dawn. You enter through the front of the bar and travel into hell! Out front they had a very cool puking animatronics. Your greeted with a broken bottle against the bar. Scenes that stand out in my mind…An exploding toilet, a strobe light room with dancing demons, and the end. The end you were greeted by the Devil himself. My friend and I hit the ground ala’ Waynes World, screaming “We’re not worthy! We are worms!” (Just a joke of course, I know Lou…he looks nothing like that and is a terrible Yahtzee player) This will always be so special for me….
3. ZombieGeddon- Halloween Horror Nights 20: 20 Years of Fear
Words can’t accurately describe this house. It had everything going for it. Hands down Universal’s best Zombie house yet. The Walking Dead house this year has a high bar in this house. The story was the US Government re-took America and started these training facilities to help people learn the finer points in putting to rest the undead. You start out kind of light-hearted. Just going through a shooting range no big deal. Then they pull off what could be the best “OH SHIT!” moment in history. You see lights and smoke when a float crashes into power lines, crippling it indefinitely. Now things are real and the undead get their revenge. To add to it, the people who were training you have now joined their ranks as well. From there you exited to Zombie Gras…that is for a different list though…
2. Saws and Steam: Into the Machine- Halloween Horror Nights 21
So, HHN 21 kind of ran all over this list huh. It was a good year…what can I say. This almost squeaked into the number one spot. It was narrowly beaten. I really had never been into a house that told a story better than this. I wish this house could be turned into a movie. This maze was based on the Scarezone of the same name the year before. In the world of Saws and Steam water is almost impossible to find. That is until someone realizes the human body is made up of 70% water…Into the machine shows more of that world. A group known as the Elite ask people to make the sacrifice on their 31st birthday to “Give of their liquid.” so that they may better the cause and feel no more pain. By doing this, they would enter “The Horizon”…or paradise. Obviously it was a load of shit and as you walk through the maze there is nothing that screams paradise (Unless of course you have a hard on for steam punk then…well this will give you quite the chubby) So many good scares, I don’t know where to start. I think they end was really awesome with the guy in the old style Scooba suit splashing a water curtain at you. They must have gotten a lot of water. (Also important to note this was the final house featured at the Jaws location…sad I know)
1. Psychoscarapy: Maximum Madness- Halloween Horror Nights: Sweet 16
Here we are..number one! How can you go wrong with an asylum that has been taken over by the inmates. Guess they should have thought twice before taking in good old Jack the Clown. Story is simple…Jack comes in, drives the crazy insane, and you are there for a full-scale riot. Even the nurses have gone loony! Many scenes stand out in my mind. The empty hallway that when the lights go out and come back on it’s filled with inmates. Or rather was it the room covered in shit! (Smelled real…IT SMELLED REAL!!) Or the hulking juggernaut that followed Seras out telling her he would “eat her babies.” Either way you slice it this house was fun, scary, detailed, and told a fun story. Oh! And it featured the best icon of them all, Jack the Clown.
That is all for now Darlings! Stay tuned tomorrow when we look at the best Scarezones!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hey there Horror Fans! Great week we have been having for Halloween Horror Nights Reveal Week huh!? If you have them liked on Facebook…and we know you should…you would have noticed each night at midnight we have seen a reveal on one house. They start hints at about 8pm or 9pm, the at the stroke of midnight you see what it is. So far we had…
We have two whole hours before they announce tonight’s and the below image is what they hint at as well as this cryptic message:
I think any jabroni with a brain can tell that is American Werewolf in London. If it’s not…they are sneaky, sneaky. Head on over to the Facebook at midnight for the reveal…or better yet for to Encyclopedia Psychotika’s Facebook and I’ll pass it along as well! Stay Tuned!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
You know kiddies, there really was a few more things that I could have mentioned about Halloween Horror Nights 22 that I didn’t. Things that didn’t really translate to the review like personal experience, things we all did, or you know that stuff. I’d like to take the time to share at least 3 cool stories from HHN 22 with you…why? Because I feel like a bum when I’m not doing something on this site for you people to read! lol ENJOY!
Every year we have ever gone to HHN, we have a had a little goofy joke that follows us around all night. One year it was something about the JAWS Ride (Miss you Bruce)! Another year it was about my bro getting scared by a duck call! This year we may have created something for the ages. Yes, Encyclopedia Psychotika is the front-runner in a new way to completely diffuse a scareactor situation. What is it you ask? SIMPLE!!! Emergency Gangnam Style! Ever find yourself in the midst of a horde of scareactors? I know you have this year ((wink wink nudge nudge)), and I bet you got the p[ants scared off you. Well if you want to prevent further loosing of ones pants, follow these simple steps. Set up a sign with your friends. Ours was doing the lasso loop in the area and yelling “Opa Gangnam Style!” Then do the dance! ((See below for music video to learn the dance moves.))Simple as that! No scareactor can resist it. You never know…you may get them to follow in some sort of weird flash mob. Wanted to do it with all of the Walkers but…wasn’t in the cards. If I find video of it, I will post it. We were doing it all night that night.
Another thing about that night I feel necessary to mention is, if you ever have the chance to go to HHN on a full moon…do it! I looks awesome! The atmosphere is like ramped up all the way, you just have no idea. The only thing that could have made it more perfect would have been it being a bit cooler. unfortunately, it was hot as balls outside! But the full moon…with the graveyard…and the Walkers…It just kind of made things 20% cooler (Yes I went for a MLP reference while talking about HHN and I don’t give a hoot!) The only downside I for see for you is….crazy shit happens on a full moon. I mean we ended up having such a rough time getting there because of what I like to call “Full Moon Madness.” Now before all of you go thinking I’m weird an superstitious…I’m not that bad. “Full Moon Madness” is the phenomenon that happens because everyone else is that superstitious and let’s it be an excuse to act stupid. Fools forget how to drive, forget how to act…like they lost their freakin’ mind! Wasn’t so bad that night, but man it could have been worst I’m sure. Just thought I would throw the warning out there before a bunch of people try to go to HHN on a Full Moon and blame little old me.
You know funny thing is I swear I had more to talk about. As I have been sitting her typing a few paragraphs and retyping them…I really can’t remember. This kiddies, is why you should always make sure you have a pen and paper handy. Oh and don’t try to watch Power Rangers while typing an article…That helps too! Well I have managed to procrastinate house work for another little bit. Time to get off my ass and do something constructive. Have a fun day Freaky Darlings!
Until Next Time My, Freaky Darlings,
Well, it’s that time of year again. School is letting out, Hurricane season is getting ready to loom its ugly head, and Universal Studios Florida has began construction for Halloween Horror Nights 22. Uni has been pretty tight-lipped this year. No hints to the theme or the house names, just permits. The Permits were filed for construction the 8th of May. So far it looks like they are only going to have 7 houses, but then again it’s early we could see another. Some seem to think we could see a return of a double house ( I get so excited when this info comes to light. I know there are some other info that has been out for a while, however, that info has now been pretty well dashed to bits. Let me explain…
A couple of months ago I ran across a rumor mill over on Behind the Thrills. It was pretty good, but I felt it was the same old same old that had been rumored before. About every year since the last one that was in two parks, there is a rumor that the event will spread back to the two parks. I just don’t think it will ever happen again. When the event takes up both parks, I just feel that it’s too over the top. The walking from park to park really kills you, not to mention that there are several parts of IOA that are hard to theme. HHN 15 had no theme to speak of in Suess’ Landing. Not to mention…rumor has it (no not that song) Universal can’t have HHN in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter due to something in the contracts. Now mind you, they can close that area off and use the bypass but I don’t think that will be the case. Now they did have a nice rumor that Uni was going to take a shot at Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party with a similar event. Believe me, I wanted to see this. You never know it may happen. But with the permits already surfaced…I don’t think we will see anymore. Still though, give it a good look because you never know what may come out of it as far as theme and icon.
Getting back to the permits though, there was some interesting clues pointed out by Park Rumors. Apparently there were a few scene names revealed within the permits. One has something mentioned of a “Bat Belfrey” and “Mirror Room.” They think that leads to a castle or a cathedral. I sort of agree with that. I can’t come up with anything better than that. The next one says something about a “Hospital Hallway” and a “Rooftop.” Now they don’t seem to think anything other than Hospital. I agree with some of the other readers that posted below on that page. Some others believe that there could be a Walking Dead themed house. To help substantiate that thought, look HERE. Seems Behind the Thrills noticed a certain property in the Cyber Image store that I did my last visit. Honestly, I didn’t think much of it at the time. Cyber Image generally is home to some pretty cool merchandise from all over the place. They also had some True Blood stuff at the time. Can’t imagine a house after that, but you know I wouldn’t be surprised either soooo….yeah. Back on Topic, the last house had a scene in it called “Creature Pit.” This had them stumped and me too. It’s too vague of a term really, Creature could mean anything. Maybe a long rumored Army of Darkness house? Who knows! I think it all will depend on the theme.
Remember the first link I told you to look at from Behind the Thrills? There is an excellent little bit in there about the theme having to do with two’s. Like having a double icon and theme it around choices and duality . At first I thought maybe this one wouldn’t hold water. With the rumor floating around though of a double house, I don’t know there could be a bit more to it. Personally, I think with the hundred year anniversary, we are more likely to see something along that lines. Again this is only speculation. Hopefully we will get a bit more in the next month or so. Until then, this is it! Stay tuned for more soon!!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,