I sit in the MORTIS. Looking around as the dust settles. It has been a busy year…. Had it been a year? No longer than a year! Traveling does such things to the mind. Times, Space, Dimension jumping can scatter the most skilled mind. Let alone one as long scattered as mine. The life of a Cheshire Cat is often not an easy one. I’ve been sitting here for while looking at the wreckage. The consoles all ash marked. The controls taken apart. Everything half-fixed. It’s time to breathe some life back into this old thing. Maybe fixing the ship will help fix the pilot.
I have such stories to tell you all. Such adventures. Hell, Halloween Horror Nights 25 starts tomorrow and I owe you a review from last year still. So many movies have went untalked about. Such current events not discussed. I’ll just say those are probably best not talked about. It appears as if this world has completely lost its mind. I suppose my madness is not the only brand out there. Some people should really watch what brand of madness they subscribe to. After all, some people are out just to watch this world and its time line burn. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but me and the little bit just so happen to call this plane home. Can’t allow it to go to complete shit now can we. She’s a little too fond of this dimension.
I get up from many chair. It’s so dark in here. Lets take a look outside. Opening the door i look down at the Earth. So peaceful from way up here floating in orbit. Scanning the land, I have to say I don’t like what I see in a good portion of it. I’m done with the negative. The negative side of life has choked me out for far too long. I stretch my arms and crack my neck. As my neck makes a loud pop, my hat falls. Man is it dusty. I slap the dust off and place it on my crown. My eyes widen as I run inside. A grand idea crosses my mind. I’ll throw this switch, and turn these knobs! Pull down these levers and turn on the these breakers. The computer console whines to life. Hmm, yes! These commands. Lets change the look of this ol girl. Lets make things look new…NO! Classic. Yes, classic Victorian…But with a bit of pirate. Like my old ship! And with just a dash of steam!
The room lights up as everything goes blurry and fades away. The old, burnt, broken, and busted gives way to beautiful wood and brass work. everything lit up with warm glow. And the gears! Gears! Beautiful Brass Gears! Time to set a coarse…But where too? Maybe we will visit Jack. Jack and his wonderful Carnival of Carnage. Full Report on whats going on with Halloween Horror Nights tomorrow…. I’m back my Cheeky Monkeys! I’m back and its time to switch this life into full overload.
*Shaking his Ass* SHAKE SHAKE SENORA!! OH SHIT!!! Sometimes vaporation is a good easy way to transport one somewhere. But I’ll be honest, its when you do it instinctively that it gets annoying! Just enjoying a morning romp. Anyway where was I…well I was dancing! *Shakes maracas* Well this is rubbish! Toss these aside *cat yowl* Ohh, Sorry!
HELLO MY CHEEKY MONKEYS!! I’ve missed you all something fierce you have no idea. Again I’ve been away dealing with personal nonsense. I do believe this time…this is what the third time?….Anyway, this time I’ve resolved it! Feel like a new Malice. You will all see a new Malice. See Cheshire Cats….well we are a bit like Time Lords in that…Well that is neither here nor there…or over here…or over here! The main point is, I’ve missed you all terribly and I am dearly sorry to anyone that supported this site and helped it grow. I feel like I’ve let a lot of you down. I am not gone….I am not out. I will survive and preserver! So lets get this show on the road! Halloween Horror Nights starts…umm….this stupid watch *tap tap tap* TOMORROW!! HOLY SHIT ON A CTHULHU!! Well then we have no time to waste! Drag in the banner guys!
Halloween Horror Nights 24 starts tomorrow and I couldn’t be more elated! Oh my, the lineup this year is great: Halloween, AVP, From Dusk Till Dawn, Killer Dolls, Killer Clowns, people who are dead that eat you, people that are alive and eat you…SCAREZONES!!! YES!!! Oh my God, we have a return to scarezones. It’s about time. I guess all those subtle hints and messages really didn’t go unnoticed….
Bartleby: Eh Boss, you kidnapped the head guys intern and threatened to cut off digits until they did bring them back.
Your point Bartleby?
Bartleby: Well you made it to five fingers and a two nubbes….
Sacrifices had to be made…..Don’t you have the MORTIS to polish? Go do that….anyway where was I…OH
With a year this good it is going to be hard to pick a favorite. And they will all be good so….Well I’ll just give you my picks.
8. Halloween- Why do I pick this dead last? Not because I don’t think it will be good. I think it can be done very well. Its more or less this is going to be a house for fans with some jump scares. I really hope this one will blow me away. But…i’m setting the bar low.
7. Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood- I put this over Halloween based on the fact that it’s Dracula and has potential to be gory regardless. I have no idea about the movie and know nothing about it. I still give it better than jump scares.
6. Roanoke- Cannibal Colony- I’m putting this above the last two if not because it sounds very interesting. I will say the only thing that could go bad here is cannibals don’t scare me. We shall see….
5. Giggles and Gore inc- I like the premise. I have great expectations for this house. Clowns….and people being torn apart to make more clowns…i don’t need to give you anymore reasons than that.
4. Doll House of the Damned- Dolls are creepy as fuck by nature. Damn soulless eyes do it for you every time. So if this house sucks, I’m going to be very disappointed. It’s practically in the bag and just with the premise.
3. Walking Dead: End of the Line- I’m only putting this one this high up because its going to be the biggest that Universal has put out to date. Biggest house ever. It better deliver. I’m not alone in the fact I’m sick of AMC taking over HHN. The price of having Walking Dead is just too damn high. So…this one better be good guys….and the last one for a while….Next year I let Bartleby and Baxter eat the lot of them.
Bartleby: Yeah, we do like rotted zombie meat!
Baxter: But…I don’t think they are real zombies boss are they?
Does it matter?
Bartleby and Baxter: No not really!
2. From Dusk Till Dawn- This could either be shit or awesome. They already sort of did this with HHN 15’s Demon Cantina. So they can do this. They can deliver this. Even if it’s a cloned house from those plans I would be happy. Wish it was based on the movie and not the show…but hey…got to work with what you got.
1. Alien Vs. Predator- I may not be a fan of the original movie but the second one requiem was bad ass. This can be done so right. Xenomorphs are terrifying…and you don’t even have to see a damn predator to know it’s horrifying. I peg this to take it…Lets see how it goes.
Normally I would rank the scarezones here…but you know…first year they are back..I’ll just enjoy them. I think I’m going to really like the Purge Anarchy one if not just for the fact I’ll end up getting people. The people I am going with…all of us look like we would belong there. The scarezones are as follow: The Purge- Anarchy, Face/Off- In the Flesh, Bayou of Blood, MASKarade – Unstitched
October 23rd is when I will be there this year. Should be a good year. Will be meeting up with past companions The Legend Billy Fuentez and his lovely wife Margarita! We will be doing the RIP tour and living it up. So expect a nice review! I can’t wait! Halloween Horror Nights 24….BRING IT ON!!
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys!
My Cheeky Monkeys I have some very exciting news for you all!!! Hot off the presses!!! Boys bring in the pic!!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! AND I CANT MAKE IT!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!! Damn ministry of Magic is crafty and casted Anti-Vaporative spells over the parks….must of caught wind…hmmm…Anyway! This is happening and some of the details rolling out are awesome. So far one I’ve seen shows magic shop windows. Yes…now you will be able to use the wands you buy in the park. By finding little medallions around Diagon Ally…you will be able to try out a little magic and see how the other half of your kind does it. I’m just soooooo excited. The only thing better is visiting the Universe those stories take place in.
In other news…not so hot off the presses…some HHN 24 news hit last week. This one is bitter sweet…The Walking Dead will be heading back to HHN for the third year in a row. I’m not happy about this mostly because it appears the deal to get TWD involves AMC’s logo feces spread all over everything. The good part however is this years Walking Dead maze is supposed to be the biggest one in Halloween Horror Nights history. That could be interesting if done right…..Octobers still a long way off my Monkeys…
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys,
Are you ready for this? Because it’s AWWWWWWWWWWWESSSOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!
To quote The Miz….lol
So it’s been out for about a week but I love furthering news. Universal recently released some inside looks at the Escape from Gringotts ride and the Hogwarts Express ride. They look totally epic and I can’t personally wait to see them in person. The Gringotts ride is supposed to show you the events that unfold just after Griphook, Harry, Hermione, and Ron get dumped by the waterfall. From there you battle Bellatrix, The Dragon, Voldemort and other things….did I mention it is all in glorious 3D? Because that’s important….
Also, managed to find a look at the Hogwarts Express. I have to say when I first heard the rumor of this ride…way back before Wizarding World was open and everyone was speculating about the possibility of moving to Uni…I was interested to see how it would be done. Didn’t think it would be possible. Now I’m seeing it ready to be opened to the world. In the video they tell you about their being a unique experience both ways. They also talk about the possibility of having the actual characters on the train…I just want to see this happen already. I’m sick of waiting!
I’ll try to keep you up to date as I find some more. So far I’ve not seen an open date. I’ll check Screamscape later!
Until Next Time, Cheeky Monkeys,
So my Cheeky Little Monkeys, I was at Universal on Holiday a couple of weeks ago with the mini Psychotik. Had some real good fun. It’s changed so much since the last I was there back at HHN. I was impressed at the progress that was made on the City Walk. Lots of new things springing up all over the place. We got to see the new Beetlejuice Graveyard Mash Up show. It was amazing. The new Diagon Ally area is looking so swell. You can see a lot of things are finished. I didn’t get to visit MegaCon this year. It was so crazy busy we got stuck on I-4 in a traffic jam for an hours and a half! But anyway, let’s get on with the review.
City Walk Construction
I’m very excited to see the big additions rolling into City Walk. I remember back a few years when they did some minor updates and tweaks, but this…this is a complete overhaul and new looks. Seemed like construction was going good. Very fast it seemed. It had only been a month maybe two since I had heard about the transformations taking place. I could be wrong. Pastamore had already been changed into the Red Oven. This new pizza concept looked a little better than Pastamore. I wanted to stop in and see how it tasted, but time didn’t really permit the stop. I did see the new Cold Stone up and busy. A few of the other places looked like they were coming nicely such as Anajito’s, The Universal Studio Store rebuild, The expansion to Margaritaville, and the new Starbucks. I didn’t get a good look at some of the others like Bread Box, Hot Dog Hall of Fame, or Cowfish. I think when this is all done, it’s going to look fantastic. I’m sure by now the Starbucks and a few other minor projects are done. Like I said, construction was moving very fast.
Cabana Bay Resort
Well, while we were there it was still getting some finishing touches, but from what i saw it looked great. The Cabana Bay is actually now up and running. It opened a week or two after we left. Would have loved to stay there as the pictures I’ve seen make it look fantastic. I will be staying there next year especially if the price holds. $100 bucks a night sounds like a lot, but your average cost for a hotel on I-Drive that isn’t on site is going to run you about $80 soooo…Yeah! You may not get the express pass that the other hotels give you, but you still get the convenience of being on site which is what I would like. Plus the whole retro thing has me totally sold!
Beetlejuice Graveyard Mashup
This was one of my highlights to the weekend. We hit it once a day for the whole weekend. Little Psychotik loved it so much. It was very refreshing to see the new show. It is totally more music driven than joke driven and a lot more fast paced. I love it! I have a video I will be posting below of the show. I thought the addition of Cleo and Phantasia would be a bit hoaky. Adding in Monster High style characters with BJ…ehh…But it was actually very entertaining. The two sets that I saw of each character were really entertaining. Thought about vaporating on stage and asking Phantasia’s number…but I think seeing a large top hatted gentleman appear on stage out of nowhere…would have caused a panic. And what kind of example would I be setting for the little one…using your powers in public…that’s just bad parenting! The best musical number I think in the whole show is the one between Drac and Phantasia. The whole Possession is 9/10ths of the law gag comes back and if strangely funnier this time regardless of being shorter. Over all…you all need to run out and catch this show. It’s totally worth it.
Diagon Alley/ London Expansion
I was surprised the amount of things I saw. I mean I guess the angles in Universal prevent them from completely obscuring a lot like they did in IOA with Wizarding World. Construction looks beautiful at this point. I’m super excited for this area. If you go to the Fear Factor live show you get a real nice looks right down Diagon Alley. It was still being heavely worked on through there, but it still looked amazing. From what I’ve seen on the concept art this area is going to quickly be my favorite and I’m going to love having both of these areas together as an experience. My cosmic friend Samhain and I promised ourselves to take a trip and do the whole experience. Shop for wizarding stuff, take a trip on the Hogwarts express, go to Hogwarts….we are nerds! Editors Note: Yes I realize as a Cheshire Cat I can just go to the real Hogwarts…I have been to the real Hogwarts…how ever it’s on thing to go to the real thing and see how that is and a complete other to live the adventure as you cheeky little monkeys interpret it!I think everone is going to have the best of times when this bad boy opens its doors. You all won’t want to miss it!
Mardi Gras 2014
We had a blast this year! The best I think I’ve been too. The little one had so much fun. I even got to catch one of the concerts. The theme this year was “Around the World in 80 days” so it was very much so Steampunk…which was totally awesome. All different modes of transportation where shown…ah you should have been there. I did manage to get pictures…however the sheer awesomeness of the parade drained my battery and I didn’t get the whole thing…poo poo. We ended up catching A Great Big World. They were surprisingly good. I enjoyed them a lot as did Jazz. Check out their music. They do the song “Say Something” with Christina Aguilera. They have a new single too called “Already Home” and another called “Everyone is Gay” Check them out they are worth it. They are easy listening. They are not hard at all, but they are good at what they do, and their music has meaning unlike a lot of bullshit that is out there.
New Dinning Plan
So i found out that the Meal Deal is gone…which is sad. However the new prepaid meal service isn’t to shabby either. It’s a way I could see totally controlling cost and still very much so worth it if you plan it right. Now I didn’t use the fancy expensive one. They do offer one that is a bit on the pricey side but would be perfect if you were on a date with a fancy lady or just had a lot of money. That one includes a snack, an extra drink, a quick service meal and drink, and a sit down fancy restaurant meal. The one that my little companion and I got costed $35 for the day for both of us. We both got a snack, and extra drink, and a quick service meal. The best values are if you get them at Mels Drive in at Uni and The Three Broomsticks at IOA. They also have a Coke Freestyle Souviner cup now. It’s cool, I wish i would have gotten it. Much better deal than the other cup. 13.99 for the day covers as many refills for the day at a Coke Freestyle machine. There is a chip in the bottom of the cup that tells the machine its ok to dispense. TECHNOLOGY!!!
Our overall experience was a great one. It was so great being there all weekend and getting to enjoy everything. All of the new attractions were up and running. It was the first time there with a pass for Jazmin’s Autism. Editors Note: I’m not sure if I have ever mentioned that before. The little Psychotik is Autistic. That is not to say she is not normal. Dad and Mom are far from it. Really she is just on a different wave length from everyone else. Really this is a conversation for another time, and I will revisit it.The staff was very accommodating and sweet as could be to her taking everything into consideration. Living in this town, you forget that there are people out there that understand the condition and work with it on a daily. Universal earned so many cool points with me. I can’t wait to see what else Universal has in store for us this year. It’s going to be great.
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys,
Alright Darlings! Today is the Day! HHN23 is just a few short hours away. Which will be the best of the best? This is what I think:
8. Havoc: Derailed
7. Resident Evil: Escape from Raccoon City
6. La Llorona
5. Afterlife: Deaths Vengeance
4. Walking Dead: No Safe Haven
3. American Werewolf in London
2. Cabin in the Woods
1. Evil Dead
Here is what Seras thinks:
8. Havoc: Derailed
7. Cabin in the Woods
6. Afterlife: Death’s Vengeance
5. Resident Evil: Escape from Raccoon City
4. Evil Dead
3. Urban Legends: La Llorona
2. Walking Dead: No Safe Haven
1. American Werewolf in London
We shall see. See ya there!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,