Poetry was once a way I used to cleanse the soul. Well apparently I still have some cleaning to do. So for the next week or two expect poems and stories that aren’t to cheery….sort of doom and gloom…
I wish there were words
Words to Explain
The pain that I felt
When it all went away
The sorrow that crept in
The devastation that occurred
Like nothing I’ve ever felt
Like no pain I’ve endured
I’m so lost without you,
wading through a blinding snow
My life once had true purpose
Now I just don’t know
Never would have thought you gave me this
Such a perfect definition
But now that you are gone
I’m waiting to find my life’s direction
Which way do I go?
Do I back track or begin anew?
Keep moving at a slower pace
Like I’m neck-deep in glue
So lost without you
Cant face the storm
Can’t find a way out
Will this be my new norm?
Everyone tells me,
One day it will all make sense
That does me zero good now,
They aren’t stuck like this
Lost in a hopeless desert,
An endless sea,
A Fearsome White out
Is whats it’s like when you’re not with me.
So lost without you
I hope to regain my way
Do I charter a new course?
Or am I here to stay?
I know I was here before,
And something tells me I’ll live after
But when you chase a star and it burns
Now what do you go after?
I’m just so lost without you….
Hey there, Freaky Darlings! It’s been a shame that things have been put on hold so long as of late. The holidays, coupled with laptop issues, multiplied by a multitude of complex humanish problems have left me overly exhausted and without energy…Basicly it’s time for a long trip to Orlando and copious amounts of absinthe. Either way the year is drawing to a close. We are literally only hours away for the new year and I have somethings I would rather like to share with you. One…is my New Year Resolution…It’s sort of the same as last year…or at least part of it. To keep furthering my goals….blah blah blah….The main one though, to stop holding on to childish things. To become more evolved as a person and stop letting little people, with small brains ruin my time. Not saying actually little people, but you know what I mean. It’s time to let some things go completely…MOVING ON!!
The next thing I would like to do is share some fond memories with you all. Lot’s of bad things have happened this year…I mean life has been inside, outside, sideside, and downside…never slowing down and more than determined to keep me down on my ass! Taking that into consideration, all the bad had me thinking about the good. I guess you could say this is a section to honor some great people in my life…also just some great times I had. Let’s list them shall we!!!
10. KuniCon/OtakuCon December 2004
This was the second convention I ever attended and it sticks out in my mind still to this day as being a crazy cool time. It wasn’t because the Con was off the chain or anything. Oh no, far from it. It was one of the most disorganized events I have ever been to. Nothing happened on time, everything was late. It took two hours to get our passes and we pre-registered. My costume was half done…regardless of the fact I managed to deliver on the friend that was supposed to help me’s props. But you know, I had a totally fun weekend. I had awesome hang out time with great friends. I belive I was around Todd Holt and Derek Underhill that whole weekend starting with the rave. Okay, just calling it a rave…doesn’t give it justice. That was an epic-neonic-super-overload of joy/happiness/ecstasy/rage/bliss…Rainbows spoke to me…That was also the first time…and unfortunatly last time…I got to see Select/Start. They are this awesome little group of musicians that perform all kinds of Game and Anime Music. They are great. I think that was the first weekend I recall me being me…
9. Universal with My Grandpa
Grandpa Psychotik was the first one to ever introduce me to the majesty that is Universal Studios. Without him, I would have never gotten to experience rides like Kongfrontation, Hanna Barbarra, or Nick Studios. My trips with him were always the best. He would come get me early as hell the day of and we would get there right when the park opened and didn’t leave until they kicked us out. He always made sure I got to ride what I wanted…and believe me..back in Uni’s hey day, that wasn’t easy! I remember waiting several hours for Back to the Future and Terminator 2: 3D. Heck, I remember when Islands of Adventure was just a dust bowl…then I remember a couple of years later him taking me there 6 months after opening. Your going to see Universal on this list quite a bit by the way…it plays a big part of who I am.
8. Summer Vacation with Granny
I could go on for days about my Granny Psychotik. That woman has done so much for me…it’s really not even funny. My best memories with her were the summers I used to spend with her in West Palm Beach…and then once more in Connecticut. She would always find something fun for us to do. Even though she had to deal with work all day, she always made time to come home and spend time with me. Some of the best times I remember involved The Palm Beach Science Museum, Seaworld, Star Wars Episode I, The Pequot Museum (I’m probably really spelling that wrong), various trips to the mall, and od course trips to Denny’s and Piccadilly (again murdering the spelling). She always taught me to enjoy the simple things in life. She really shaped this twisted little mind.
7. Jurassic Park Island
Not sure why…but when I think of specific beautiful places…Jurassic Park Island at night comes to mind. I have a lot of fond memories with friends and especially my Seras there. I’m not sure why…maybe because we always ended up winding down there, maybe because I love the movie, maybe because at night it is hands down a romantic little place…WHAT EVER THE REASON!! It always sticks out in my head and deserves to be mentioned.
6. Marching Band
Some of you may or may not know this…but i was a Band Geek in High School. Yes, before I fully awakened back in my skin as Malice Psychotik…I was the Bombastic, Shaggtastic Shaggy. I never really appreciated Marching Band until my Senior year. It’s been a part of my old life that I have always missed. The people, the equipment, the uniforms, the blood, sweat, tears, and the screaming crowd (NO DAMMNIT THIS ISN’T THAT FREAKING GARTH BROOKS SONG!!!) I’ve never been able to recapture that feeling of performing. It’s a shame my bands I’ve put together never stayed together. Would have been a great outlet…but then I would have never had time to open this glorious site. I have to say the all time favorite part…was winter bus rides home at night. Never a dull moment…and when it was…be damned if it wasn’t the most relaxed I had the pleasure of being in high school.
5. Grad Night 2005
2005 was a shitty year for me. On of the best things that happened was Grad Night. Disney is actually a pretty cool destination at night. Sort of wish they would have it open late at night for people like me who…prefer it that way. It was the first time I had been there since I was a baby…so really it was the first time. Brings me to mention my friend Whitney Wood. I believe that was the first time we had ever “Hung out” like that. I know I ran into other people that night, but we kind of duded it up the whole evening. Funniest part of the whole night was Space Mountain for the second time. We had no idea that the damn thing had two different tracks…let’s just say that first drop took us by surprise. I seem to remember something else that had to do with us Statler and Woldorffing a comedian. Great night…
4. That One Night at Oz’s
My friend Oz always had people at his house. It was almost like the unofficial party central there for a while. No other night sticks out as the infamous That One Night at Oz’s…It was after one of the particularly nasty Hurricanes in 2004. I needed away from the house and so did a few other friends…so naturally…we met at the one place we knew we could get away from all, Oz’s. Not sure what was in the air that night, but be damned if it wasn’t funny as hell. Between playing video games, watching Naruto, taking a pellet gun to a cock roach, or having the giggles for like 5 hours straight…we all had a memorable night. I miss nights like that…If you are reading this Oz…do know I miss that. I miss that Oz the most…
3. Andrew Albritton
I have too many memories to share about my dear Best Friend Andrew. Me and him have been through Hell and Back. We have had good times and Bad…but I can honestly say that this guy is a dude I will never forget and I’m glad to call him my friend and brother. Earliest memory I have is of me staying over at his house and us watching Austin Powers. I seem to remember Mrs. Pam getting us awesome chicken sandwiches from Burger King and us playing some type of mech game he next day. We always shared everything…DBZ, Gundam Wing, Final Fantasy, That one girl in high school…lolz! Yeah anytime spent with him was a memorable one…to many to name.
2. Little Psychotik’s Birth
So much bad had happened to us before Jazmin was born. I had lost two dear relatives, and was in a massive Car Accident that nearly killed us. My little girl coming into the world erased all of that. We even had a rough time in the hospital…but I remember every second of every one of those days perfectly. There is not one time that I listen to HIM and not think of Jazzy. She was even born in one of two cities Seras and I spent most of our time. So cool how so much ties together. Anytime I’m down I think of that and instant repairo! Good moods a comin’
1. Trips with Seras
My number one favorite memories are all of the trips I have had with my dearest Seras. Whether it was coming back from Jensen late at night, Universal, Sebring, or Tennessee…I always loved our late night car rides. Sometimes I would be so tired, but it’s like it didn’t matter I was where I wanted to be. I had a kick ass day or weekend…and that ride home was the icing on the cake. I always think of those times while listening to Dir En Grey, Marilyn Manson, Cradle of Filth, or Avenged Sevenfold. Probably because that’s what was in the cd player 24/7…lol…Always a good time though…I love you boo…
Well any way, next year is going to be a big year for the site…I hope…New ideas are starting to come together a little more rapidly. I wanted them to be already active, but things what they are…let’s say you have to break a few eggs to make a omelette. I’m sure you will all like it. I won’t gloat…it’ll jinx it…instead I’ll just say I’m sure you’ll like it
Until Next YEAR, My Freaky Darlings, (Had to go there!)
P.S Some honorable mentions are in need too. Not that they aren’t fond…I just don’t want to rename the list…and this isn’t Christmas anymore so 12 is a ridiculous number to use…
* My Brother Matteo Tullio- Dude anytime we have ever hung out…it turned to gold. You are right up there with Andrew. The other part of the Triforce man. I miss our early morning trips to Pogey’s…or the impromptu trips to Star Bucks out on the turnpike.
*The First Drop of Mansinthe- Words do not accurately describe that night. The most I can say is Friends Todd Holt, Seth Garner, Gerry Sparks, Heather Smith, Seras, and Me all tried Mansinthe for the first time. I, not having my bearings with me, mixed it on the high-end and made us trip balls bad! Like you’ve heard that song “Happy Together”? That was literally playing in our heads at the same time. We were all so very cat happy. All courtesy of Todd supplying us with Alcohol and Snuggy’s…and Seth raping his car…that was funny too! Good Times!