Hmm, so it appears that today’s audience likes pain. Well, my cheeky monkeys, i have lots of that! Do you all want to hear a tale? Good! Pull up a seat and pour a drink. This is from a dimension I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with. This one is called…
The Haunter and the Umbreon
A time ago there was a playful Haunter and feisty Umbreon that crossed paths. The built a glorious friendship. Slow at first but then it grew and grew. Secretly they both were quite fond of one another. More so than just friends. However for a time they kept it to themselves. As it happens in most matters of the heart though, it did blossom into a beautiful love affair. So happy the two were.
They were the talk of the wild. Other Pokemon were jealous of what the two had. So much so that they tried to cause problems pretty regularly for the two. For a time though, as bad as things got, they still had each other. They had some of the most amazing adventures. All over, to places you wouldn’t imagine. It was a special thing what the two creatures had. He would always haunt her mind, and she would light his darkness. But that’s not to say it was perfect all the time.
You see both Pokemon had dark pasts. Abusive trainers, bullied by other Pokemon, lied too, and broken. This weighed against things too. Haunter tried to hide his pain through jokes and laughs. Umbreon would get battered down and retract. These types of matters you either rise up and fix it or things fall to pieces. Fall they did…
One day it all became too much. At first it was Haunter that pulled away. In the back of his head he was afraid to go all in. To lend his heart out to another got to much. Umbreon’s life also grew to a fever pitch. The two fell to pieces. To tell the details is far too heartbreaking. Either way it ends in the burn cinders on a beautiful love, burned up before its time. They both went their separate ways. Haunter tried to cut his own path, and Umbreon found another.
All was not right with the Haunter though. He tried to make it look like he was. He may have even believed it. But soon he realized the truth… He lost a very good thing, and it hurts. Now they only thing to light his darkness is a little candle. A little candle that doesn’t light much and he can’t see very far. But it has to do. He used to haunt her, now she would haunt him.
The moral of the story my sweeties, we all have ups and downs and we all go through different things at different times. Sometimes you have to weather a lot, sometimes a little. I’m not saying to keep yourself in a bad, dangerous position. Being beaten or manipulated is no good for anyone involved But if it’s just stress and hard times, you fight for the one you loved. Hard times have a way of clouding the good times. You have to hold onto the good times. You just have to. It’s easy to let go at first, but you will feel the price of that later. Just Try. Romance and love are like fire. Fire burns sometime. You just got to hold onto those worth burning for.
A lot of people have been asking why I haven’t made a full return to the site yet. Well sometimes things are a little easier said than done. You see when I sit down to write i need quite, no distractions. But, the less distractions i have the more I’m able to think. The more rogue thoughts, that otherwise i would have kept buried are able to come to the surface. All the sudden it’s not so quiet anymore. My life can sometimes be complicated by my own mind. The same mind that allows me to put myself apart from others and flow my creative juices can be a horrible nemesis. It’s the nature of the beast. Allow me to set the stage for you…
Its late night. Little bit is asleep. I have an idea burning at the back of my head. A wonderful story to share with the Verse. I pour a drink, sit in my favorite chair, open up the MORTIS console and begin to write. Then a few lines in, its starts. At first as an indistinct chitter or a static. Then louder. The room grows dark and I’m no longer in my room, I’m in my head. Sitting at my desk surrounded by a plain white light from above. Then he steps into frame, or rather… I step into frame. Another version of me. He saunters over to the table and leans into it to talk to me.
Malice 2: Hey there me! What you writing? Finally decide to sit down and write that story? Well you had to do it sometime, you have so many up there in that noggin. Its going to be really hard to catch people up on what you’ve been doing! But you know that.
Me: Well yeah. I mean I have to start somewhere and I’m actually feeling better about things and at peace. Now is a good time to..
Malice 2: But how long will it last?
Me: I don’t know, but I have to try. I mean maybe if I get started it will keep me going.
Malice 2: Youve done this a lot though. What makes this time anymore special. It’s not like a whole lot of right is going on right now. Sure you won’t just flake?
Me: Well I don’t know if I don’t…
Malice 3: I’ve heard this all before. Just because you are ok now, doesn’t mean you are ok. It’s just the moment. Maybe work on something else and make it last a little longer.
Malice 4: He can’t make things last! Have you been paying attention? All attempts to find a life long companion end in tragedy! Everything we do ends and ruin! If he could have fixed himself, he would have a long time ago. It’s a lost cause!
Malice 5: It’s all the truth. Just give up. You can’t do it anyway. People will hate it. You are wasting your time!
Malice 6: It’s your faut she left! Its your fault she’s gone! You screwed it up!
Malice 2: Well now lets not be too harsh. We can’t blame him for every—
Malice 7: BLAME HIM FOR IT ALL HE DESERVES IT!! FEEL THAT PAIN! LET IT BURN! LET IT SCAR!!!
The room erupts into more negative thoughts as their voices fill the room, all I can discern is anger from the others mes. It’s a roar. A Deafening roar. Then I hear my companions, my travel buddies way in the back. Faintly. “Boss?” “Malice..” “Don’t listen” “Get out of there.” “It’s not true.” But it’s so faint, I can barely hear it before it’s just drowned out. The noise hits a fever pitch. I’m about to start thrashing about. Then a soft voice rises to the top. I close my eyes to try to focus.
The room is empty. I blink my eyes and im back in my room. Jazzy is standing next to me. She wraps her arms around me…
Jazzy: Daddy your sad. Please come to bed. I’m tired.
I smile at her and hug her close. I close the console and lay down next to her hugging her as she drifts off. This is my mind… My demons… My own worst enemy…
See you soon,
Wow! it has been a really long time since I booted up the console to write for you all. Is there anyone still out there? No? Yes? Maybe? Well, which ever it may be I want to share a story with you all. It is Christmas after all. And while I don’t have much to give you all, I can give you the gift of a story. A Good story is sometimes better than gold to some. Keeping with the theme of Christmas I’ll tell you a Christmas tale.
Some of you may wonder, What does a Vonderlanian do for Christmas? Well, there was a time (Back when everyone was alive) that we had some rather magnificent holiday celebrations. Actually, they were a lot like the Christmas celebrations that you are celebrating today (in multiple time lines and endless dimensions across the verse). We even had a sort of Santa type character. Well he was more an old Elder God, but that is neither here nor there. So the real question is what do I do on Christmas? Easy! Jazmin and myself stay in the MORTIS on the interdimensional lay line. Why you may ask? Well because I am relentlessly stalked through some dimensions because of something I did a long time ago.This is my tale…
Malice and The Naughty List
A long time ago, before Jazmin was born, and I was a lot more fast and loose with my science (Not that I got any better, I was just worse) I was working on a really groovy animate formulae. I was on the verge of creating a formlulae that could animate anything with zero negative impacts. So close in fact that, I decided to take a break. It was Christmas eve and I had been working very hard. What better way to treat yourself then have some ginger bread cookies and egg nog? I couldn’t think of one! Well, I should have considered that I was working with some pretty dangerous stuff. If I would have maybe I would have tried drinking some non alcoholic egg nog (I do love me some egg nog and bourbon!)
I’m not sure when my break turned into a party, but it did. I mean… Not a huge party! About thirty people… Uh Anyway! Somehow in the scuffle I spilled a beaker of my formulae onto the gingerbread men. This went unchecked for quite sometime. Apparently long enough for the ginger bread men to animate and leave my laboratory. Also, enough time for them to attack a small homeless camp of maybe 100 homeless people (not small at all). This is where things got very weird…
I woke up in an empty lab. It looked wrecked. Like, the party may have gotten a little out of hand. That happens a lot, but I didn’t think anything of it. Smelled a lot like cookies. I ignored it because hey, better than how the lab smelled sometimes. I just thought it was strange no one decided to wake me up. I got a soda from the fridge and turned the TV on while i looked for some stuff for a sandwich. It was at that time I noticed something strange. Looked like there was some rioting going on in the city. Me being a curious little caat, I turned up the volume. It looked as if Gingerbread men were attacking everyone. I laughed thinking that this was a big holiday joke. That was until I put my hand on a tray that had some broken remains of a beaker and some cookie crumbs. Oops!
Away like a shot I poofed (Vaporated)! When I got there I couldn’t believe my eyes! It looked like something out of a zombie movie, but with cookies. The police were barricaded behind cars and sand bags trying to fight off a large hoard of gingerbread men (And I’ll guess women. Why not? I mean carnage isn’t sexist!) That wasn’t even the worst part though. What came next haunted me for about 30 seconds. One of the officers was trying to sneak around the hoard to get behind the barricade. Well a few noticed him and ran to grab him. The officer had just about made it through when one of the cookie men latched onto his leg with sharp peppermint teeth. He got through the barricade before it took out a chunk. I decided to poof behind the barricade to see what was going on . Maybe ask a few questions. There was a Sargent standing next to where I appeared. He was kind of slack-jawed and amazed, but I got him to snap to it and give me a run down of what was going on. While he was telling me, my eyes were drawn to the bit officer. He was screaming and convulsing.
It happened so quick. Another officer yelled he had been bit. Before anyone could react, the officers body twisted and shred away. He turned into a gingerbread man! Which then started attacking other officers…and they followed suit. I grabbed the Sargent and poofed to a nearby roof top. He was a little angry at first, until he realized there were no more of his “men” to protect. He told me how it started with the group of them from the homeless camp and how their numbers just grew and swelled as they worked through the city. No one really knew what to do. On bite and you became one of them. I began thinking of ways I could undo this. Really I couldn’t save anyone that had been turned. I just needed to figure out a way to stop it.
Apparently, I was deep in thought because I didn’t notice the Sargent turn until he lunged at me. I poofed out of the way, and that was probably good because his head exploded. It was then I saw the jolly shape of Old Saint Nick. Standing there with a smoking candy cane gun in hand. I went to say Hi, but he looked a little less than impressed with me. Some elves rolled out of his sleigh and took positions all over the roof top. He boomed at me. Some such shit about how irresponsible i was….blah blah blah… stupid curious cat…blah blah blah…you need to fix this. I explained I was thinking about a way to fix it when that last one attacked me. I heard shots around the edge of the building. The Gingerbread Men had decided to focus on us.
I’m not sure whether they just didn’t have enough ammo to match the numbers or they were just bad shots. But it wasn’t long until the elves were Gingerbread men too. Santa made it just in time to take off. I zipped up to him. That didn’t last long. He pushed me out of the sleigh. Good thing I can levitate. From up there I could see the situation was way out of control on the ground. On the bright side, everything smelled wonderful! I had to figure out how to take out all of these cookie monsters (Ha Ha!) If only I had some egg nog to help me…. THATS IT!!! I got on the phone to Minion and told him to get the high pressure hydro cannon. While he did that, I ran around like a Mad Cat getting all of the Egg Nog I could find.I loaded it all into the fluid chamber and then let the fun start.
I made my stand right before they made it to a big orphanage. Wave after wave came at me, and I blasted them to mush. Ate a few of them too. Man they were good. Almost sort of justice being served. Towards the end of the battle, it became a Maelstrom of ginger cookies and egg nog. I may have gotten a little carried away, because I flooded the orphanage. A many of child got completely trashed that night, but they were saved! All of them were put down, and the city was safe. Santa landed on the street behind me. Seemed like he was pretty happy… Until he smelled the bourbon…and saw the drunk kids. He then told me my name was going at the top of the Naughty List and was never coming off. I didn’t think it was a big deal, until I realized the naughty list transcends dimensions and I was on them all. So now I spend Christmas in the lay line, where they can’t find me.
Hope you all enjoyed the tale. A little rusty, but hey… got to knock it off somehow. Have a Merry Christmas you all, and here’s to a New Year!
The world has changed.
Its been a long time and a few false starts. I’ve been away from this for far too long. I look around at the world around me, and I have to say: I’m not impressed. In fact, in some cases I’m down right pissed. People all over the planet at each others throat. An election coming up that has spiraled way out of control. Sum it up, hatred is at an all time high. The only way I see to fix it, is to put forth some positive energy into the world. That is indeed what this world needs, positive energy. It needs a lot of it too.
In truth, I’ve had the itch to come back for some time now. I didn’t know if I could though. I kept thinking i was ready but I would sit down at the console, and nothing. Or an excuse. Id thing of something else that i could do. Trick myself that their was something I needed to do. I can’t do that anymore. I started this site with a few things in mind. They are as follows:
- Spread my madness throughout the world. A message that needed to be heard. Spread stories that needed to be told
- Do something to leave a mark. Give my own little one something to look at and shoot for.
- To make an impact on this world, even if it’s a small one. Everything little thing matters to someone
Three things that needed to be that I turned my back Encyclopedia Psychotika? Answers simple, a broken heart. Losing my Seras was a blow I wasn’t prepared to take. It took a lot to recover from that. A lot of soul-searching. A lot of… everything. A Chehsire Cats mind is not an easy thing to repair. Nor is the heart. I still miss her. I’ll always miss her. She was a large chunk of my life. At the end of the day though, she gave me the best gift in the world. My little toon Jazmin has helped to fill the void and ground her dad when needed.
Now that I’m back though… I have a problem. Where do I start? Pick up where I left off? Treat you all to some stories? I guess we will just have to sit down and see what comes out. We will just see where… or when…. we will end up. See you real soon….
I know i said this was coming yesterday, funny thing about life: It always has an interesting way of taaking you in another direction. Not that this is a horrible thing. Sometimes, it takes you in the direction you need instead of the one you want…
ANY HOW!!! MOVING ON!!!
Lets put this baby in to gear and take it there. Input some corridinates. Play with the navigation a bit. I do love the sound the controls make to go to Halloween Horror Nights. You all don’t know about that yet though…Hmmm…Story for another time perhaps? Yes! Anyway, pulll this lever and… We’re off! While we are heading there I have a few words to add. Ive not actually visited this year yet. The opening night was last night. I’ve already heard some good things. This is really just a sit down and see whats in store. I know a lot of you creepy little monkeys already know, but hey there are some that may still not. So far, we are planning to go the 8th of October in this year of 2015. I like how I worded that! HA HA! Also yess, I do realize i still owe you a review for last year. So this year you get a twofer!! Doesn’t make up for it huh? I’m sorry guys just bare **MORTIS crashes down** with me. We’re here!
Let’s open the door and see if we can have a peek. Where are we–
**Door creaks open to see a very angry fire haired clown looking at his now crushed desk**
Crypt with purple lights!? Only one person I know that drives a crypt with purple lanterns… MALICE!!! Get your Top Hatted ass out here! What did I tell you the last time you dropped in!? Call first!
Jack “The Clown” Schmidt everyone! Jack I apologized for that. Besides, you still have Eddie as a Chainsaw weilding maniac! Did you really need the one with the stitched face?
Yeah I know I have Eddie, but do you know what its like dealing with that prick Michael Bay? Almost as bad as watching his Nightmare on Elm Street! I shudder just thinking about it!
What if I promise to get you a new desk hmm? I’m sure I have something. Why don’t you show me around a bit and I’ll have Minion go look for one and set it up? Good?
Alright deal! But it better have some tricks to it. I liked that damn desk! Chance!!! Come on babes, let’s show Malice around!
**I peek in the door to the MORTIS** MINION!!! Get a desk out of one of the old office rooms and set it up for Jack while I’m gone!
Is that an order Bosss. I thought last night at the party we agreed you were downgraded to miniion?
Do you really want to have this discussion now?
You got a point Bosss, right away!
**Chance comes bouncing in the door**
Sure thing! **Stops wide eyed and plays with the dirt with her foot before looking down** Hi Malice…
Hi there Chance…
Do you really want to cross this bridge with me right now?
Yeah your right, let’s get this thing on the road! What we got for this year my grease painted fiend!
As you may know this is the 25th anniversary of Halloween Horror Nights. So who better to help celebrate than yours truely? So to help celebrate I brought some of the best hits from the last 25 years to life in a side show that people won’t soon forget. I even put a twist on a few classics. Last night went well, but as you know it’s not really a show until the body count beats last year! And boy are we hoping to set the bar high. So.. without anymore adue… WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
This year the event boasts nine houses to keep you screaming in terror. Five Screamzones over run with the best kind of maniacs you can dig up. Two shows to make you laugh and make you yell “Hell Yeah!” to the top of your lungs. And finally as a bonus, Universal has graciously let some of their more popular rides stay open, to flesh it all out. The houses look like this:
The Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead: Travel through a maze where the living can be just as dangerous as the Dead. Back by popular demand, Take a trip through the 5th seasons of AMC’s The Walking Dead. Don’t get bit…
Freddy vs. Jason: Ladies and Gentlemen, I remember how much you loved the New Lines Monsters in 07′, So I’ve brought them back again…and in a big way. Two Horror Icons, one house! I’m going to let them duke it out and you get a front row seat. Remember, Whoever wins, you still lose!
Insidious: This trick took some planning. Prepare to take a trip through the Further. A place where everyone is dead and they all want one thing…YOU! Watch your back. As Beetlejuice says, Possession is 9/10ths of the law!
The Purge: Welcome to a world that is my kind of place! They activated The Purge in the streets last year, this year I’m going to make it a little more personal. Will you survive the night? Or just become another Victim?
An American Werewolf in London: This is a transformation you won’t want to miss. And no it’s not Bruce Jenner! One of the most popular house in Halloween Horror Nights history is back! Come face to face as this horror movie classic howls back to life.
Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem: For this attraction, I took a look through the back list of the last 25 years. This is a maze made out of the worst of the worst. The cream of the chop! If you are a Horror Nights fan, all your friends are here. I know you’re just dying to see them…. or rather… you will be.
RUN: Blood, Sweat, and Fears: You know I can’t do a show without Eddie having some input. One of your favorites returns for a third installment. This time the maniacs of RUN are dressed up as a TV show. Makes you really wonder about that new show “Hellevator” huh?
Asylum In Wonderland 3D: Well this made an amazing Scarezone in the past. And everyone loved the cameo in Scary Tales. So I figured… Why not make it larger than life. This isnt the Wonderland you know…
Body Collectors- Recollections: I wonder what will happen when you release the Body Collectors on the Maniacs of Shady Brook Asylum…. Lets find out shall we. What could those collectors possibly be doing with these pieces?
Psychoscarapy – Unleashed: With the Collectors loose in their Asylum, the more aggressive ones hit the street. That place really needs some better security. What do you think?
HHN – Icons: Looks like the gangs all here! Can’t have a birthday bash without some old friends. Its okay kids…they won’t hurt you….Much!
Scary Tales – Screampunk: Your favorite fairytale twisted up with a dash of Saws N Steam… What can possibly go wrong? Well they could turn into blood thirsty maniacs… but that wont hurt me one bit!
Evil’s Roots: Sometimes you just haave to go back to your roots… And that’s what we have done. HHN has grown some pretty horrible monsters in the past, and thats just what I’ve done for you here…. Only I planted them in Central Park! Ha Ha Ha!
All Nite Die-In – Double Feature: You loved it as a house, now its a Scarezone! Whats better than a Drive Thru? How about a Drive Thru that brings movies to life… Horror Movies that is!
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure: Your favorite time traveling duo is back and no pop culture icon is safe! If you have seen it on your Facebook, chances are you’ll see it here. Bring your sense of humor!
The Carnage Returns: You loved my show back in 07′, What kind of host would I be if it didn’t come back! And bigger than ever! Don’t miss the greatest show unearthed…Staring me!!!
Transformers: The Ride 3D: Help the Autobots fight against the Decepticons. Don’t let them get whats left of the All Spark! Personally I’m pulling for the Deciepticons.
Hollywood Rip Ride, Rock-It: Get ready to ride the music! Pick a tune, and then hold on tight! Good luck hearing your song over the sound of all the screams!
Revenge of the Mummy: Saddle up on this run away coaster as the mummy tries to claim your soul. Either I get you or him. Take your pick.
Men in Black Alien Attack: A;liens have crashed in New York and you have been deputized catch them all and bring them back in. If you bring some to me, theirs some green in it for ya!
Simpsons The Ride: Side Show Bob is on the loose and he has set his sights on, surprise, The Simpsons. Some people never learn!
Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringott’s: Can you survive a trip down to the depths of one of the most heavily guarded banks of the Wizarding world?
So, what do you think Malice? Sound like one hell of a show?
Jack I always trust a show you are part of. Why would I have a reason not to? Horror Nights royalty right here. I can’t wait to experience the whole thing in the flesh. Well I hear the sirens blowing up and calling your name. Better get to it. You got a busy night ahead.
That is true. Let me walk you back to the tent.
Any chance i can ask you for one last favor?
Anything for an old friend….
**We talked as we walked back to his office tent**
Well Minion, its time to go back. Before we go though, There is a matter that needs to be discussed.
Oh yeah? Whats that boss?
Well the other night you had some pretty harsh words for me. And well, I just wanted to tell you I’ve thought long and hard on them. I appreciate your honesty and well. I want to reward you with a sneak peek at one of Jack’s secret attractions.
Really Boss? Damn that’s awesome! I thought you would have been mad…
Me Mad!? Noooooo! That’s not me. You see it’s right over here in this cage. You just stand… right there yes, and pull that rope to undo the curtain.
OK here goes! Wonder whats inside...
**Minion pulls the rope. The floor drops out and he falls down a shoot into a dark hole**
Uh Boss I think I pulled the wrong one..
Oh no Minion, you pulled the right one.
You are actually really mad aren’t you?
Furious actually! **said with a smile** IF YOU EVER CALL ME A MINION AGAIN!!! Well, I just hope you remember this…
What the hell is down… OH GOD! Somethings moving…What do you got down here?
**Toss down a light** Here use this.
Nice of you! What do we got dow…. Oh NO! Oh MAN! THATS A LOT OF TEETH
**Maniacs scream, Zombies Moan, and wolves howl down in the hole as a little light runs around the room** Have fun Minion!
How long you leaving him down there?
Oh I’ll be back after this weekend. He’ll be fine. Just throw him some of the garbage from clean up. Have fun!
**Walking inside the MORTIS I turn some knobs and throw a few switches**
Hmm, I wonder where we go to go next. Maybe I’ll think on it…Was I being too hard on Minion? Leave a message in the comments with what you think!
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys,
I sit in the MORTIS. Looking around as the dust settles. It has been a busy year…. Had it been a year? No longer than a year! Traveling does such things to the mind. Times, Space, Dimension jumping can scatter the most skilled mind. Let alone one as long scattered as mine. The life of a Cheshire Cat is often not an easy one. I’ve been sitting here for while looking at the wreckage. The consoles all ash marked. The controls taken apart. Everything half-fixed. It’s time to breathe some life back into this old thing. Maybe fixing the ship will help fix the pilot.
I have such stories to tell you all. Such adventures. Hell, Halloween Horror Nights 25 starts tomorrow and I owe you a review from last year still. So many movies have went untalked about. Such current events not discussed. I’ll just say those are probably best not talked about. It appears as if this world has completely lost its mind. I suppose my madness is not the only brand out there. Some people should really watch what brand of madness they subscribe to. After all, some people are out just to watch this world and its time line burn. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but me and the little bit just so happen to call this plane home. Can’t allow it to go to complete shit now can we. She’s a little too fond of this dimension.
I get up from many chair. It’s so dark in here. Lets take a look outside. Opening the door i look down at the Earth. So peaceful from way up here floating in orbit. Scanning the land, I have to say I don’t like what I see in a good portion of it. I’m done with the negative. The negative side of life has choked me out for far too long. I stretch my arms and crack my neck. As my neck makes a loud pop, my hat falls. Man is it dusty. I slap the dust off and place it on my crown. My eyes widen as I run inside. A grand idea crosses my mind. I’ll throw this switch, and turn these knobs! Pull down these levers and turn on the these breakers. The computer console whines to life. Hmm, yes! These commands. Lets change the look of this ol girl. Lets make things look new…NO! Classic. Yes, classic Victorian…But with a bit of pirate. Like my old ship! And with just a dash of steam!
The room lights up as everything goes blurry and fades away. The old, burnt, broken, and busted gives way to beautiful wood and brass work. everything lit up with warm glow. And the gears! Gears! Beautiful Brass Gears! Time to set a coarse…But where too? Maybe we will visit Jack. Jack and his wonderful Carnival of Carnage. Full Report on whats going on with Halloween Horror Nights tomorrow…. I’m back my Cheeky Monkeys! I’m back and its time to switch this life into full overload.
As most of you know, my 2014 was a rough year. A relationship of years dissolved right before my eyes. It was crushing. I had held onto it for so long. In hind sight there were a lot of signs I should have just let it go. Just let it end. Maybe if I would have it wouldn’t have been so hard. I guess the small optimistic side of me just took hold too hard. That started a bad downward spiral for me. One that I kept the magnitude to myself.
I endured a lot over those next couple months. Watching my once fiance with another man wasn’t easy. It was all right in front of my eyes and in the closest of fashion. That was my mistake. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to be subjected to that. I think in that tail spin that was my mind, I convinced myself that if I held on long enough, that maybe it would just be a phase. I was wrong. I slipped away further into myself causing all kinds of new fractures to my being. Emotionally, I was allowing myself to be destroyed. To an extent, I am still there just in a lesser degree.
As months rolled by, I started to find myself a little more. I lost friends because they didn’t agree with the way I was handling things, but then times like these you find who your true friends really are. I also gained some amazing friends and repaired a friendship that had been lost to the ages. Funny how things work out. I started to think that I was pulling up. That I was slowly starting to regain myself or some sort of myself…I was wrong.
In thinking I had pulled myself back together, I complicated things with a very dear friend of mine. In fact I had adopted a thought process that I should always be honest with my feelings. I need to learn to control that and modify a bit, because its going to cost me some dear friends. Somethings are just too complex. Now, it’s such a sticky situation to even be able to talk to that friend… Wrapping my mind around fixing the problem. It’s like a clockwork box with millions of small gears. If ones spring pops… the whole thing falls apart.
In closing… I’m a broken being. I’m still all twisted up, but I’m trying to find a way to fix it. I think one thing that would help is if I return here. If I return myself to my work. Allow my madness to flow from my finger tips and on to this screen. I know I’ve lost some viewership. I hope I can earn you all back. Maybe even some new ones. I think I’ll start to chronicle some adventures of my own. Tell you the story of Malice. So my cheeky monkeys….I think this time I won’t make a grand re-entrance…I think I’ll just poor some tea and start to write
See You Soon, My Cheeky Monkeys,
I’m going to throw this out there, I don’t want to write this article. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. But before i can move on…I feel I have to put this feeling to rest. Lets talk about the recent news highlight reel of police brutality. Let’s talk about Ferguson. Let’s talk about Eric Garner. I know there are more, but these are the ones I’m going to focus on. Let me start out with saying, I’m not on the side police, I’m not on the side of the idiots rioting, I’m on the side of the people who want to have true justice. The ones that really see the problem, and want to fix it. Lets Organize this a bit.
I didn’t title this section Law Enforcement because I don’t see a lot of LAW enforcement going on. I know that there are good cops out there. So when reading this, if you are law enforcement, and you know you are a good cop that busts his ass and keeps his nose clean, know I’m not throwing you under the bus. I’m talking about the people who are failing. Yes, I know Mike Brown was caught on tape robbing a store. He was breaking the law. But since when do we deserve to die for stealing. They do have evidence that says he fought with Darren Wilson. But why is no one highlighting these facts. Why did he let him get that close to his car? That is where I go to…Police policy needs a reform. We are in the 21st century. Unarmed people should not be dying in the street. There needs to be a better system in place. Even if it would be an institution of a policy where you can shoot to disable vs, shoot to kill. Something needs to happen. The human race needs to move forward.
And that is just a small part of it. If you want to poke holes in The Wilson v. Brown, fine….lets talk about Eric Garner. Here we have a case that should be cut and dry. An Officer broke the law. He used a hold that is banned. Its banned for a reason. And it was caught on camera. This brings up a sick issue in this country of “Who watches the Watchmen.” This country needs to send a message that there is police accountability. We are all held accountable at our jobs. If I fuck up, I get fired. Same….damn….thing. You don’t get a do over because your job is hard.
How could all of this been fixed, smoothed over, etc… A lot of ways that all aren’t important now because people are dead. The news is blowing up with these incidents. Could be we are paying more attention, could not be! What ever the reason its showing a clear pattern of…we need a change. We need to grow as a society. Whether it be better equipment, or totally reforming the rules of engagement….we need to grow because people are dying. They aren’t even making it to the court system. This is not a Judge Dredd type reality. They are not Judges…
Dropping the Ball
Hi Rioters! Yes I’m looking at you fleshy sacks of meat. No easy way to say this…you are idiots. Morons. You are hurting your cause. I don’t even think you have a cause. I don believe you really care about anything. You ignorant asses are burning down where you live. Hurting businesses that have nothing to do with anything. I don’t want to hear anything about we’ve had enough…yeah a lot of people have had enough. They chose to protest in a peaceful way and not like animals. You failed.
The police failed you and you followed suit. I know people have been through peaceful protests for years, but you know what…they worked. It’s a slow process, but it works. Don’t like it? Use that squishy piece of grey matter in your dense skull and find another way. You can’t right a wrong by causing more wrong. If the cops are going to get away with killing an unarmed man who was stealing cigarillos, what do you think will happen to you in a riot? THINK PEOPLE!!
And a final word to those of you saying it’s because we are on the verge of revolution. No we aren’t. Countries that have had revolutions, their government kills tens of thousands a year. Freedom is completely repressed by the lead of a bullet. You haven’t even begun to figure out what you want. You just know that you don’t like the way you are being treated. Find a leader in this. Form a party so that you can flesh out how the government is ran. The country is at a point of change…but you have to try to change it first. To say you are ready for revolution means you are ready for Civil War. Killing your family and friends….for your ideals…I don’t think you are ready for that. There is also the looming idea that we have a lot of enemies. Who is to say you take down big brother…and you don’t end up with Russia or China or anyone else attacking? Again….think.
The Real Problem
The real problem here is we are at the edge. We are at a turning point because people are waking up. Information is more available and information is power. We have to change. The flow of information is no longer controlled like it was before. The Police system needs to change. The ways that we think need to change. It’s a problem all around. All life matters, and the sooner that people realize that, the better it will be. I can’t even believe this type of rant is coming from me. Maybe more like me need to speak up for sure. People that look at the big picture. You need to look at your real enemy.
Your real enemy is your voice being heard. You are being ran in circles with panic. You are being turned on one another by the media. Who owns that? Your 1% is the real enemy. Beat them. Unite together. Quit listening to the people with private agendas and look at the big picture. Life matters. We need to fix it. Your country is not broken. You can fix it…together. Unite as a human race and fix this shit.
Now this is the last I’m going to harp on it. I’ve just had so many people asking me my opinion on it, and needed it off my chest. Bad thing is…I could go on forever about this. Fact of the matter is, things need to change. But you need to think of more intelligent ways to change it then what you have. You can do it…but the choice is yours. Rise together….or fall apart.
From the idea of KFC’s very own famous bowl…inspired by Patton Oswald’s famous rant…I bring you a Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl. This is a meal for the person that says ” Fuck it! I’m eating like an animal today!” How do you make FP in a SB? Well one way is go to KFC. I make mine a bit different.
Okay, none of this is gourmet/home made. I feel it would have taken away from the “Fuck this!” feeling. You use Idahoan Applewood Smoked Bacon mashed potatoes, topped with sweet corn with garlic powder/onion powder/pepper, top that with some Great Value Chicken Wyngz, and then smothered with Great Value Brown Gravy, and Three Cheese Cheddar. Put all of that in a sadness bowl and your ready to eat. Enjoy!
*Shaking his Ass* SHAKE SHAKE SENORA!! OH SHIT!!! Sometimes vaporation is a good easy way to transport one somewhere. But I’ll be honest, its when you do it instinctively that it gets annoying! Just enjoying a morning romp. Anyway where was I…well I was dancing! *Shakes maracas* Well this is rubbish! Toss these aside *cat yowl* Ohh, Sorry!
HELLO MY CHEEKY MONKEYS!! I’ve missed you all something fierce you have no idea. Again I’ve been away dealing with personal nonsense. I do believe this time…this is what the third time?….Anyway, this time I’ve resolved it! Feel like a new Malice. You will all see a new Malice. See Cheshire Cats….well we are a bit like Time Lords in that…Well that is neither here nor there…or over here…or over here! The main point is, I’ve missed you all terribly and I am dearly sorry to anyone that supported this site and helped it grow. I feel like I’ve let a lot of you down. I am not gone….I am not out. I will survive and preserver! So lets get this show on the road! Halloween Horror Nights starts…umm….this stupid watch *tap tap tap* TOMORROW!! HOLY SHIT ON A CTHULHU!! Well then we have no time to waste! Drag in the banner guys!
Halloween Horror Nights 24 starts tomorrow and I couldn’t be more elated! Oh my, the lineup this year is great: Halloween, AVP, From Dusk Till Dawn, Killer Dolls, Killer Clowns, people who are dead that eat you, people that are alive and eat you…SCAREZONES!!! YES!!! Oh my God, we have a return to scarezones. It’s about time. I guess all those subtle hints and messages really didn’t go unnoticed….
Bartleby: Eh Boss, you kidnapped the head guys intern and threatened to cut off digits until they did bring them back.
Your point Bartleby?
Bartleby: Well you made it to five fingers and a two nubbes….
Sacrifices had to be made…..Don’t you have the MORTIS to polish? Go do that….anyway where was I…OH
With a year this good it is going to be hard to pick a favorite. And they will all be good so….Well I’ll just give you my picks.
8. Halloween- Why do I pick this dead last? Not because I don’t think it will be good. I think it can be done very well. Its more or less this is going to be a house for fans with some jump scares. I really hope this one will blow me away. But…i’m setting the bar low.
7. Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood- I put this over Halloween based on the fact that it’s Dracula and has potential to be gory regardless. I have no idea about the movie and know nothing about it. I still give it better than jump scares.
6. Roanoke- Cannibal Colony- I’m putting this above the last two if not because it sounds very interesting. I will say the only thing that could go bad here is cannibals don’t scare me. We shall see….
5. Giggles and Gore inc- I like the premise. I have great expectations for this house. Clowns….and people being torn apart to make more clowns…i don’t need to give you anymore reasons than that.
4. Doll House of the Damned- Dolls are creepy as fuck by nature. Damn soulless eyes do it for you every time. So if this house sucks, I’m going to be very disappointed. It’s practically in the bag and just with the premise.
3. Walking Dead: End of the Line- I’m only putting this one this high up because its going to be the biggest that Universal has put out to date. Biggest house ever. It better deliver. I’m not alone in the fact I’m sick of AMC taking over HHN. The price of having Walking Dead is just too damn high. So…this one better be good guys….and the last one for a while….Next year I let Bartleby and Baxter eat the lot of them.
Bartleby: Yeah, we do like rotted zombie meat!
Baxter: But…I don’t think they are real zombies boss are they?
Does it matter?
Bartleby and Baxter: No not really!
2. From Dusk Till Dawn- This could either be shit or awesome. They already sort of did this with HHN 15’s Demon Cantina. So they can do this. They can deliver this. Even if it’s a cloned house from those plans I would be happy. Wish it was based on the movie and not the show…but hey…got to work with what you got.
1. Alien Vs. Predator- I may not be a fan of the original movie but the second one requiem was bad ass. This can be done so right. Xenomorphs are terrifying…and you don’t even have to see a damn predator to know it’s horrifying. I peg this to take it…Lets see how it goes.
Normally I would rank the scarezones here…but you know…first year they are back..I’ll just enjoy them. I think I’m going to really like the Purge Anarchy one if not just for the fact I’ll end up getting people. The people I am going with…all of us look like we would belong there. The scarezones are as follow: The Purge- Anarchy, Face/Off- In the Flesh, Bayou of Blood, MASKarade – Unstitched
October 23rd is when I will be there this year. Should be a good year. Will be meeting up with past companions The Legend Billy Fuentez and his lovely wife Margarita! We will be doing the RIP tour and living it up. So expect a nice review! I can’t wait! Halloween Horror Nights 24….BRING IT ON!!
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys!