Posts tagged “depression

The Tale of the Haunter and the Umbreon

Hmm, so it appears that today’s audience likes pain. Well, my cheeky monkeys, i have lots of that! Do you all want to hear a tale? Good! Pull up a seat and pour a drink. This is from a dimension I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with. This one is called…

The Haunter and the Umbreon

A time ago there was a playful Haunter and feisty Umbreon that crossed paths. The built a glorious friendship. Slow at first but then it grew and grew. Secretly they both were quite fond of one another. More so than just friends. However for a time they kept it to themselves. As it happens in most matters of the heart though, it did blossom into a beautiful love affair. So happy the two were.

They were the talk of the wild. Other Pokemon were jealous of what the two had. So much so that they tried to cause problems pretty regularly for the two. For a time though, as bad as things got, they still had each other. They had some of the most amazing adventures. All over, to places you wouldn’t imagine. It was a special thing what the two creatures had. He would always haunt her mind, and she would light his darkness. But that’s not to say it was perfect all the time.

You see both Pokemon had dark pasts. Abusive trainers, bullied by other Pokemon, lied too, and broken. This weighed against things too. Haunter tried to hide his pain through jokes and laughs. Umbreon would get battered down and retract. These types of matters you either rise up and fix it or things fall to pieces. Fall they did…

One day it all became too much. At first it was Haunter that pulled away. In the back of his head he was afraid to go all in. To lend his heart out to another got to much. Umbreon’s life also grew to a fever pitch. The two fell to pieces. To tell the details is far too heartbreaking. Either way it ends in the burn cinders on a beautiful love, burned up before its time. They both went their separate ways. Haunter tried to cut his own path, and Umbreon found another.

All was not right with the Haunter though. He tried to make it look like he was. He may have even believed it. But soon he realized the truth… He lost a very good thing, and it hurts. Now they only thing to light his darkness is a little candle. A little candle that doesn’t light much and he can’t see very far. But it has to do. He used to haunt her, now she would haunt him.

The moral of the story my sweeties, we all have ups and downs and we all go through different things at different times. Sometimes you have to weather a lot, sometimes a little. I’m not saying to keep yourself in a bad, dangerous position. Being beaten or manipulated is no good for anyone involved But if it’s just stress and hard times, you fight for the one you loved. Hard times have a way of clouding the good times. You have to hold onto the good times. You just have to. It’s easy to let go at first, but you will feel the price of that later. Just Try. Romance and love are like fire. Fire burns sometime. You just got to hold onto those worth burning for.

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Sadistically Yours,

Malice Psychotik

 

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What its like drowning in your head…

A lot of people have been asking why I haven’t made a full return to the site yet. Well sometimes things are  a little easier said than done. You see when I sit down to write i need quite, no distractions. But, the less distractions i have the more I’m able to think. The more rogue thoughts, that otherwise i would have kept buried are able to come to the surface. All the sudden it’s not so quiet anymore. My life can sometimes be complicated by my own mind. The same mind that allows me to put myself apart from others and flow my creative juices can be a horrible nemesis. It’s the nature of the beast. Allow me to set the stage for you…

Its late night. Little bit is asleep. I have an idea burning at the back of my head. A wonderful story to share with the Verse. I pour a drink, sit in my favorite chair, open up the MORTIS console and begin to write. Then a few lines in, its starts. At first as an indistinct chitter or a static. Then louder. The room grows dark and I’m no longer in my room, I’m in my head. Sitting at my desk surrounded by a plain white light from above. Then he steps into frame, or rather… I step into frame. Another version of me. He saunters over to the table and leans into it to talk to me. 

Malice 2: Hey there me! What you writing? Finally decide to sit down and write that story? Well you had to do it sometime, you have so many up there in that noggin. Its going to be really hard to catch people up on what you’ve been doing! But you know that.

Me: Well yeah. I mean I have to start somewhere and I’m actually feeling better about things and at peace. Now is a good time to..

Malice 2: But how long will it last?

Me: I don’t know, but I have to try. I mean maybe if I get started it will keep me going.

Malice 2: Youve done this a lot though. What makes this time anymore special. It’s not like a whole lot of right is going on right now. Sure you won’t just flake?

Me: Well I don’t know if I don’t…

Malice 3: I’ve heard this all before. Just because you are ok now, doesn’t mean you are ok. It’s just the moment. Maybe work on something else and make it last a little longer.

Malice 4: He can’t make things last! Have you been paying attention? All attempts to find a life long companion end in tragedy! Everything we do ends and ruin! If he could have fixed himself, he would have a long time ago. It’s a lost cause!

Malice 5: It’s all the truth. Just give up. You can’t do it anyway. People will hate it. You are wasting your time! 

Malice 6: It’s your faut she left! Its your fault she’s gone! You screwed it up! 

Malice 2: Well now lets not be too harsh. We can’t blame him for every—

Malice 7: BLAME HIM FOR IT ALL HE DESERVES IT!! FEEL THAT PAIN! LET IT BURN! LET IT SCAR!!!

The room erupts into more negative thoughts as their voices fill the room, all I can discern is anger from the others mes. It’s a roar. A Deafening roar. Then I hear my companions, my travel buddies way in the back. Faintly. “Boss?” “Malice..” “Don’t listen” “Get out of there.” “It’s not true.” But it’s so faint, I can barely hear it before it’s just drowned out. The noise hits a fever pitch. I’m about to start thrashing about. Then a soft voice rises to the top. I close my eyes to try to focus. 

Jazzy: Daddy?

The room is empty. I blink my eyes and im back in my room. Jazzy is standing next to me. She wraps her arms around me…

Jazzy: Daddy your sad. Please come to bed. I’m tired.

I smile at her and hug her close. I close the console and lay down next to her hugging her as she drifts off. This is my mind… My demons… My own worst enemy…

See you soon,

Malice Psychotik