I’m Late!!! I’m Late!! For a very important date!!! HHN 24! Time to shake off the rust!
*Shaking his Ass* SHAKE SHAKE SENORA!! OH SHIT!!! Sometimes vaporation is a good easy way to transport one somewhere. But I’ll be honest, its when you do it instinctively that it gets annoying! Just enjoying a morning romp. Anyway where was I…well I was dancing! *Shakes maracas* Well this is rubbish! Toss these aside *cat yowl* Ohh, Sorry!
HELLO MY CHEEKY MONKEYS!! I’ve missed you all something fierce you have no idea. Again I’ve been away dealing with personal nonsense. I do believe this time…this is what the third time?….Anyway, this time I’ve resolved it! Feel like a new Malice. You will all see a new Malice. See Cheshire Cats….well we are a bit like Time Lords in that…Well that is neither here nor there…or over here…or over here! The main point is, I’ve missed you all terribly and I am dearly sorry to anyone that supported this site and helped it grow. I feel like I’ve let a lot of you down. I am not gone….I am not out. I will survive and preserver! So lets get this show on the road! Halloween Horror Nights starts…umm….this stupid watch *tap tap tap* TOMORROW!! HOLY SHIT ON A CTHULHU!! Well then we have no time to waste! Drag in the banner guys!
Halloween Horror Nights 24 starts tomorrow and I couldn’t be more elated! Oh my, the lineup this year is great: Halloween, AVP, From Dusk Till Dawn, Killer Dolls, Killer Clowns, people who are dead that eat you, people that are alive and eat you…SCAREZONES!!! YES!!! Oh my God, we have a return to scarezones. It’s about time. I guess all those subtle hints and messages really didn’t go unnoticed….
Bartleby: Eh Boss, you kidnapped the head guys intern and threatened to cut off digits until they did bring them back.
Your point Bartleby?
Bartleby: Well you made it to five fingers and a two nubbes….
Sacrifices had to be made…..Don’t you have the MORTIS to polish? Go do that….anyway where was I…OH
With a year this good it is going to be hard to pick a favorite. And they will all be good so….Well I’ll just give you my picks.
8. Halloween- Why do I pick this dead last? Not because I don’t think it will be good. I think it can be done very well. Its more or less this is going to be a house for fans with some jump scares. I really hope this one will blow me away. But…i’m setting the bar low.
7. Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood- I put this over Halloween based on the fact that it’s Dracula and has potential to be gory regardless. I have no idea about the movie and know nothing about it. I still give it better than jump scares.
6. Roanoke- Cannibal Colony- I’m putting this above the last two if not because it sounds very interesting. I will say the only thing that could go bad here is cannibals don’t scare me. We shall see….
5. Giggles and Gore inc- I like the premise. I have great expectations for this house. Clowns….and people being torn apart to make more clowns…i don’t need to give you anymore reasons than that.
4. Doll House of the Damned- Dolls are creepy as fuck by nature. Damn soulless eyes do it for you every time. So if this house sucks, I’m going to be very disappointed. It’s practically in the bag and just with the premise.
3. Walking Dead: End of the Line- I’m only putting this one this high up because its going to be the biggest that Universal has put out to date. Biggest house ever. It better deliver. I’m not alone in the fact I’m sick of AMC taking over HHN. The price of having Walking Dead is just too damn high. So…this one better be good guys….and the last one for a while….Next year I let Bartleby and Baxter eat the lot of them.
Bartleby: Yeah, we do like rotted zombie meat!
Baxter: But…I don’t think they are real zombies boss are they?
Does it matter?
Bartleby and Baxter: No not really!
2. From Dusk Till Dawn- This could either be shit or awesome. They already sort of did this with HHN 15’s Demon Cantina. So they can do this. They can deliver this. Even if it’s a cloned house from those plans I would be happy. Wish it was based on the movie and not the show…but hey…got to work with what you got.
1. Alien Vs. Predator- I may not be a fan of the original movie but the second one requiem was bad ass. This can be done so right. Xenomorphs are terrifying…and you don’t even have to see a damn predator to know it’s horrifying. I peg this to take it…Lets see how it goes.
Normally I would rank the scarezones here…but you know…first year they are back..I’ll just enjoy them. I think I’m going to really like the Purge Anarchy one if not just for the fact I’ll end up getting people. The people I am going with…all of us look like we would belong there. The scarezones are as follow: The Purge- Anarchy, Face/Off- In the Flesh, Bayou of Blood, MASKarade – Unstitched
October 23rd is when I will be there this year. Should be a good year. Will be meeting up with past companions The Legend Billy Fuentez and his lovely wife Margarita! We will be doing the RIP tour and living it up. So expect a nice review! I can’t wait! Halloween Horror Nights 24….BRING IT ON!!
Until Next Time, My Cheeky Monkeys!