From the idea of KFC’s very own famous bowl…inspired by Patton Oswald’s famous rant…I bring you a Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl. This is a meal for the person that says ” Fuck it! I’m eating like an animal today!” How do you make FP in a SB? Well one way is go to KFC. I make mine a bit different.
Okay, none of this is gourmet/home made. I feel it would have taken away from the “Fuck this!” feeling. You use Idahoan Applewood Smoked Bacon mashed potatoes, topped with sweet corn with garlic powder/onion powder/pepper, top that with some Great Value Chicken Wyngz, and then smothered with Great Value Brown Gravy, and Three Cheese Cheddar. Put all of that in a sadness bowl and your ready to eat. Enjoy!
*Shaking his Ass* SHAKE SHAKE SENORA!! OH SHIT!!! Sometimes vaporation is a good easy way to transport one somewhere. But I’ll be honest, its when you do it instinctively that it gets annoying! Just enjoying a morning romp. Anyway where was I…well I was dancing! *Shakes maracas* Well this is rubbish! Toss these aside *cat yowl* Ohh, Sorry!
HELLO MY CHEEKY MONKEYS!! I’ve missed you all something fierce you have no idea. Again I’ve been away dealing with personal nonsense. I do believe this time…this is what the third time?….Anyway, this time I’ve resolved it! Feel like a new Malice. You will all see a new Malice. See Cheshire Cats….well we are a bit like Time Lords in that…Well that is neither here nor there…or over here…or over here! The main point is, I’ve missed you all terribly and I am dearly sorry to anyone that supported this site and helped it grow. I feel like I’ve let a lot of you down. I am not gone….I am not out. I will survive and preserver! So lets get this show on the road! Halloween Horror Nights starts…umm….this stupid watch *tap tap tap* TOMORROW!! HOLY SHIT ON A CTHULHU!! Well then we have no time to waste! Drag in the banner guys!
Halloween Horror Nights 24 starts tomorrow and I couldn’t be more elated! Oh my, the lineup this year is great: Halloween, AVP, From Dusk Till Dawn, Killer Dolls, Killer Clowns, people who are dead that eat you, people that are alive and eat you…SCAREZONES!!! YES!!! Oh my God, we have a return to scarezones. It’s about time. I guess all those subtle hints and messages really didn’t go unnoticed….
Bartleby: Eh Boss, you kidnapped the head guys intern and threatened to cut off digits until they did bring them back.
Your point Bartleby?
Bartleby: Well you made it to five fingers and a two nubbes….
Sacrifices had to be made…..Don’t you have the MORTIS to polish? Go do that….anyway where was I…OH
With a year this good it is going to be hard to pick a favorite. And they will all be good so….Well I’ll just give you my picks.
8. Halloween- Why do I pick this dead last? Not because I don’t think it will be good. I think it can be done very well. Its more or less this is going to be a house for fans with some jump scares. I really hope this one will blow me away. But…i’m setting the bar low.
7. Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood- I put this over Halloween based on the fact that it’s Dracula and has potential to be gory regardless. I have no idea about the movie and know nothing about it. I still give it better than jump scares.
6. Roanoke- Cannibal Colony- I’m putting this above the last two if not because it sounds very interesting. I will say the only thing that could go bad here is cannibals don’t scare me. We shall see….
5. Giggles and Gore inc- I like the premise. I have great expectations for this house. Clowns….and people being torn apart to make more clowns…i don’t need to give you anymore reasons than that.
4. Doll House of the Damned- Dolls are creepy as fuck by nature. Damn soulless eyes do it for you every time. So if this house sucks, I’m going to be very disappointed. It’s practically in the bag and just with the premise.
3. Walking Dead: End of the Line- I’m only putting this one this high up because its going to be the biggest that Universal has put out to date. Biggest house ever. It better deliver. I’m not alone in the fact I’m sick of AMC taking over HHN. The price of having Walking Dead is just too damn high. So…this one better be good guys….and the last one for a while….Next year I let Bartleby and Baxter eat the lot of them.
Bartleby: Yeah, we do like rotted zombie meat!
Baxter: But…I don’t think they are real zombies boss are they?
Does it matter?
Bartleby and Baxter: No not really!
2. From Dusk Till Dawn- This could either be shit or awesome. They already sort of did this with HHN 15’s Demon Cantina. So they can do this. They can deliver this. Even if it’s a cloned house from those plans I would be happy. Wish it was based on the movie and not the show…but hey…got to work with what you got.
1. Alien Vs. Predator- I may not be a fan of the original movie but the second one requiem was bad ass. This can be done so right. Xenomorphs are terrifying…and you don’t even have to see a damn predator to know it’s horrifying. I peg this to take it…Lets see how it goes.
Normally I would rank the scarezones here…but you know…first year they are back..I’ll just enjoy them. I think I’m going to really like the Purge Anarchy one if not just for the fact I’ll end up getting people. The people I am going with…all of us look like we would belong there. The scarezones are as follow: The Purge- Anarchy, Face/Off- In the Flesh, Bayou of Blood, MASKarade – Unstitched
October 23rd is when I will be there this year. Should be a good year. Will be meeting up with past companions The Legend Billy Fuentez and his lovely wife Margarita! We will be doing the RIP tour and living it up. So expect a nice review! I can’t wait! Halloween Horror Nights 24….BRING IT ON!!
My Cheeky Monkeys I have some very exciting news for you all!!! Hot off the presses!!! Boys bring in the pic!!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! AND I CANT MAKE IT!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!! Damn ministry of Magic is crafty and casted Anti-Vaporative spells over the parks….must of caught wind…hmmm…Anyway! This is happening and some of the details rolling out are awesome. So far one I’ve seen shows magic shop windows. Yes…now you will be able to use the wands you buy in the park. By finding little medallions around Diagon Ally…you will be able to try out a little magic and see how the other half of your kind does it. I’m just soooooo excited. The only thing better is visiting the Universe those stories take place in.
In other news…not so hot off the presses…some HHN 24 news hit last week. This one is bitter sweet…The Walking Dead will be heading back to HHN for the third year in a row. I’m not happy about this mostly because it appears the deal to get TWD involves AMC’s logo feces spread all over everything. The good part however is this years Walking Dead maze is supposed to be the biggest one in Halloween Horror Nights history. That could be interesting if done right…..Octobers still a long way off my Monkeys…
So the summer movies are still rolling out. While this review is late, i still feel it’s necessary. I remember getting up from my theater seat and saying to myself, “I need to put something out there because purist fan boys and girls are going to try to fuck this up for everyone.!” So far I’ve not seen a too negative of an impact. I could be wrong. I tend not to regard many people in high regard to their opinion on a film. Especially sites like Rotten Tomatoes (Sorry I know blasphemy! I don’t care!) Really all a review is for is just to give you an idea as to whether you will like it or not. Find a reviewer you share an opinion with and go with that. These mass review sites are no good because the internet, unfortunately, has no shortage of trolls that will try to slam a film because of an actress or because it’s a fad they don’t like. That is a travesty and is an absolute crock of bull shit. Stupid fleshly little meat sacks! Anyway….let’s take a look at this gran beauty called Maleficent.
Psychotik Review: Maleficent
So this new movie that Disney has brought to us takes the classic tale of Sleeping Beauty and turns it on its head. Don’t go into this film thinking that you are going to know everything about it. You won’t. This story starts a lot earlier than the birth of Aurora. Mostly because this is not about the princess. This is how the evilest faery became who she was. Maleficent is a story of love and betrayal. The film starts when Maleficent is a child living in the moors, the faery kingdom adjacent to a human kingdom. For years the humans hated the faeries and were not allowed in the moors. One day a human peasant boy by the name of Stephen tries to steal some gems from the faery world. The gems are recovered and Maleficent takes him to the edge of their world. They shake hands and his iron ring burns her. She reveal that iron hurts faeries and young Stephen throws the ring away. This act of kindness is so profound to young Maleficent that she starts to sort of fall for him. The two see each other for years and blossom a wonderful friendship. It furthers to the point when Stephen gives her the gift of true loves kiss….or so she thinks
Years pass and the two distance. Stephen tries to further his dream of one day becoming the king finding his way into the royal staffing. Maleficent becomes the protector of the moors and soars high over the skies daily. The king of the kingdom to the right decides he is going to find out what lies within the moors once and for all and attempts a failed attack. Maleficent and her army of what can only be described as large tree people, fight the humans back and hurt the king in the process. The king then decrees that anyone that will kill Maleficent will marry his daughter and become king. So Stephen does what any friend does and warns her. The two spend a glorious night together in each others arms….Oh yeah, and did I mention the part where he drugs her and then takes off her wings because that is really important. When she wakes up she is beaten, betrayed, and destroyed. The once happy protector of the forest now becomes an evil ruler subjugating the moors and growing her power. It’s not until the birth of Stephens daughter, Aurora, that the two face each other again. This is the part where she curses the child and storms out!
Now we are at the story you…..wait….nope Story still takes a left turn….more about that below…spoilers.
You’ve been warned…
Pros
Dear Cthulhu, so many things are going right for this movie! I don’t even thing I can categorize it. The story, the casting, the music, the visual effects….just wow. This is a fantastic little ride that Disney has put together. The story is fresh…I like what they changed. The fact that Maleficent is drawn to the very child she cursed. That you get to see the duality of her character. You see her good and innocent…then you see her betrayed and wicked…then you see her come round again to just being a hero. It’s an interesting tale of the Hero that was also the villain. The fact this was a retelling I believe made it better. The fact they thought way outside the fancy box on this film is what impresses me most. Seeing her heart warm to the very thing she hates…was just awesome. Also I love that Disney is moving away from the princess being saved by a prince. The fact that True Loves kiss came from Maleficent. That True Loves kiss can come from a “motherly” character was the most impressive point.
Cons
Really there weren’t any I can think right off the top of my head. I loved the whole thing. It’s just good ride…go see it.
Conclusion
Nothing really horrible to say about this. So we have ourselves a 5 out of 5 Top Hats. Go right out and see it if you haven’t. It’s probably on its way out of the theaters, so quickly. Just a really great movie and I do hope Disney leeps continuing with films like these.
You know those favorite thingies that get passed around Facebook? Well let’s do one here huh? Who wants to know some truths about me? Everyone! Great! But how many….hm….50? Should I? Shit…too late I said it. It’s go time!
50 Shades of Malice Psychotik
Favorite Color Combo? Purple and Black…as if you all couldn’t tell.
Favorite clothing brand? Tripp NYC although I have found a thing or two I love from Red Ball and Dragonfly.
Favorite type of music? Metal/Rock
Favorite guilty pleasure type of music? 90’s Pop
Favorite Disney Hero/Heroine? Jack Skellington/ Sally
Favorite Disney Villain/Villain-es? Oogie Boogie/ Ursula
Favorite Disney Princess? Elsa (Chick is Classy)
Favorite Sci-fi Movie? Back to the Future
Favorite Comedy Movie? Ted
Favorite Drama Movie? Moulin Rouge
Favorite Action Movie? The Matrix
Favorite Dreamworks Movie? Shrek 2
Favorite Video Game? Final Fantasy IX
Favorite Game Console? PS3
First Person Shooter or RPG? RPG (Most FPS are abysmal)
Fighting Game or Racing Game? Fighting (I’m not one for going in circles)
Sports Game or Party Game? Party Game (I tell you this is close…because either way you end up hating your friends)
Favorite DC Comics Hero/Heroine? Batman/ (Can’t think of one female hero worth mentioning…)
Favorite DC Villain/Villain-es? The Joker/ Harley Quinn
Favorite Marvel Hero/ Heroine? Deadpool/ Rogue
Favorite Marvel Villain/Villain-es? Green Goblin/ Phoenix
Favorite X-men (Top 3)? Wolverine, Gambit, and Nightcrawler
Favorite Band? Slipknot
Favorite 70’s Band/Group? Kiss
Favorite 80’s Band/Group? Def Leppard
Favorite 90’s Band Group? I actually don’t think I have one….
Favorite 00’s Band Group? Slipknot
Favorite Pop Singer/Group? P!nk
Favorite Pop One Hit Wonder? “Living La Vida Loca”
Favorite Rapper? Eminem
Favorite Soda? Baja Blast
Favorite Adult Beverage? RUM!
Favorite British Film? Shaun of the Dead
Favorite Doctor Who Villain? Weeping Angels
Favorite Car? 80’s Camero
Favorite Mythical Creature? *Leans in close and whispers “Hail Hydra..”
Favorite Monster? Vampires
Favorite Cryptozoological creature? Big Foot
Favorite Anime? Fullmetal Alchemist
Favorite Manga? Hellsing
Favorite Anime Character? Uchiha Itachi
Favorite Animal? Tiger
Favorite Book? “Long Hard Road out of Hell”
Favorite Theme Park? Universal Orlando
Favorite Theme Park Ride? The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman
Favorite Classic Film? Dracula
Favorite B-movie? Mr. Hush
Favorite Cult Classic Movie? The Crow
Favorite Director? Tim Burton
Favorite Composer ? Hans Zimmer or Danny Elfman…its very close…
Poetry was once a way I used to cleanse the soul. Well apparently I still have some cleaning to do. So for the next week or two expect poems and stories that aren’t to cheery….sort of doom and gloom…
Alright this is the second time of me typing this Psychotik Review!! SO LET’S MAKE THIS QUICK!!!!
Psychotik Review: TheAmazing Spiderman 2
So for the plot part how about I quote a website hmm?
PLOT
The web-slingin’ wall-crawler hits the screens once again in this follow-up to Marc Webb‘s 2012 reboot of the series. Andrew Garfield returns as Peter Parker, who squares off against the villainous Electro, played by Jamie Foxx.
As the film opens, we find Richard (Campbell Scott) and Mary Parker (Embeth Davitz) stealing away with some crucial Oscorp files while leaving young Peter in the care of Aunt May (Sally Field) and Uncle Ben. Flash forward about a decade, and Peter (Garfield) is swinging into action as Spider-Man; having successfully thwarted the hijacking of an Oscorp truck by notorious Russian criminal Aleksei Sytsevich (Paul Giamatti), Peter ditches the costume just in time to meet up with Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) at their high school graduation. Despite his deep love for Emma, however, Peter remains haunted by his promise to her late father not to get emotionally involved with her for fear that she could be targeted by Spider-Man’s enemies.
Meanwhile, young Harry Osborne (Dane DeHaan) inherits OsCorp and a deadly retrovirus from his father Norman (Chris Cooper), and brilliant but timid OsCorp scientist Max Dillon (Jamie Foxx) gets infused with a powerful dose of electricity while attempting to fix a faulty power circuit in the lab. Upon regaining consciousness, Max discovers that he has the power to harness electrical currents – the higher the voltage the more powerful he becomes. When a battle with Max in Times Square shorts out Spidey’s web-shooters, Peter goes to work on developing a more reliable model of his signature weapon while Harry grows convinced that Spider-Man’s blood is the key to his survival. Later, villainous OsCorp chairman Donald Menken (Colm Feore) steals the company out right out from under Harry, driving the vengeful youth to break Max — now Electro — out of the heavily-guarded Ravencroft Institute for a two-pronged attack on Menken and Spider-Man. The stage for that battle is set when New York City goes dark just as Peter declares his love to Gwen, plunging the wise-cracking web-slinger into a fight that could forever alter the course of his life. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, Rovi
-Fandango.com synopsis of The Amazing Spiderman 2
That about sums it up for you….now for an obligatory warning….
You’ve been warned…
Now that is out of the way…Let’s start do my usual Pros and Cons.
Pros
Lots of Pros! Lot’s of things I liked about this movie. Don’t believe some of the critics. They obviously don’t remember Spiderman 3. People keep relating this to that because of the amount of characters and villains. People today are getting to used to a standard set up for a narrative or a movie. They can only focus on a handful of characters. I’m sorry this may come off as very crass…But the fact that you are incapable of dealing with a complex story, is of now fault to the writer, the director, or the cast in general. That being said I’ll isolate a few things:
Casting: Yet again we have an awesome cast for this film. Andrew Garfield has cemented himself in my mind as Peter Parker (Sorry Tobey!) The first film still didn’t have me all the way convinced, this one he is much more confident in the role I feel. Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey is a treat as per usual. I really wished she was Mary Jane. The ending to this movie killed me (Even Gwen felt the same way…DuDum Tshk!) Jamie Foxx…wow…Such a good Electro. I loved the way Electro was written in the movie. That is another subject entirely, but I can just say that Jamie Foxx does what he does and delivers. Dane DeHaan was so good as Harry and Green Goblin it made me forget James Franco’s Harry Goblin (Something needed to dig that memory out with a spoon!)
Story: The story was done very well. It’s rare to find movies like this with perfect pacing. The last one I saw like that was The Avengers. To see it done finally in a Spiderman movie was pretty nice. I enjoyed how unlike Spiderman 3. All the villains were not dumped on you all at once so you get to experience each one more than you would otherwise. Was very refreshing. Really it wasn’t like having three villains. It’s more like 1 and a half. You do get a fight out of Goblin and you see Rhino…but they are more a set up for the next act. I really didn’t feel they took away from the film at all.
Musical Score: Hans Zimmer is a magician with a musical score. Combine that with the talent of Johnny Marr and Pharrell Williams, and you have epic results. I recently got a hold of the soundtrack and have been listening to it for a week. So many emotions from the movie told straight through the music. The Tracks “That Spider Guy”, “Electro Suite (Paranoia)”, “I Choose You”,”My Enemy”, “I am Goblin”and “Here” sum up the movie nicely.
Visual Effects: So many things going right. The costumes are top-notch. The new Spidery suit is more visually pleasing than the last. Rhino being a big suit of armor was impressive, but…well we will talk about that in a bit. Electro was nice. It made sense…did I miss the green and yellow…yeah I did. But this was good. The Goblin out fit was a vast improvement over Harry Goblin AND Power Ranger Goblin!
Cons
Rhinos Suit: I don’t know if this is a con…I just don’t know how to feel about it. I mean yeah the original concept of the Rhino is a bit outdated. But I like in the game how he is one of the human/animal hybrids. I can learn to love it. Paul Giamatti is one of my favorite actors. I think he played the part well. I don’t know…I’ll have to see how it plays out. I would have just liked it a little less more artillery and more brute strength.
Gwen Stacey’s Death: SHAME ON YOU ALL!! EMMA STONE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE!!! I WANTED HER TO LIVE!!!!!
So the last con is not something real to bitch about…I give this movie a 5 out of 5 Top Hats. Come on people this movie is head and shoulders above the others. Spiderman 2 was really good, but this one held its own. Havent seen it, you should. It’s almost out of theaters.
Well the time has come! They have revealed a first look at Ben Affleck in the Batman out fit. I know this is old news! Kiss my furry butt! I present exhibit A…
DAMN IT BARTLBY AND BAXTER I SAID EXHIBIT NOT XIBIT!!!!
There that’s better! Doesn’t it look cool? This is a little more like it. I mean I don’t know what it is about the Batsuit….it just looks better. And it looks like for once Batman wont be in a tank…which is a plus. By the way if none of you have ever noticed I really am not a fan of Nolan Batman. Way too grounded. The only good thing that came from those films was a Decent Joker and a funny sounding Bane. That’s about it. I can only hope they will juice a little more fantasy back into my beloved Batman (I doubt it but we can dream right!)
So what are my thoughts on Batfleck? Well, it’s an unpopular one for sure. I think he will do a good job. I’ve seen worst. (Batman and Robin anyone?) Truthfully Ben is not a horrible actor. He is just one of those that is guilty of being in bad movies. I don’t think he was what ruined Daredevil. I actually like Daredevil. I think a lot of the cheese comes from their era it was made. This was wayyyyy before they really started taking Superhero movies the way they do today. It was no worst than a lot of the action films of the day. I personally blame Jennifer Garners Elektra. Sorry Ben, but your wife sucks. I could go on and on about how bad THAT movie was. Cut the playground fight scene and a few other scenes with Garner out and you have a decent enough movie.
Am I wrong? Time will tell Monkey’s! Until then, try to keep an open mind. If you don’t that’s OK too. That is what the internet is for Baby….
Encyclopedia Psychotika 