Latest

Once Upon a Time…Remembering Halloween Horror Nights 15

So, I told you that Encyclopedia Psychotika was taking a turn for something different this October. That turn is taking me back to my roots. Back to the core that is Malice. Ladies and Gentleman, Monsters and Ghouls, that very thing that is different is….the one….the only….Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights! I have altogether 4 years experience with the event, and that’s averaging 2-3 visits for those years. That doesn’t even include all of the hours clocked sleuthing the old site The Vault and Wiki for all things Halloween Horror Nights. As you can imagine, I’m quite the self-proclaimed expert. That being said, before we jump into this year, let’s take a look back at HHN of old. As you might have guessed, my first folly into the event was Halloween Horror Nights 15: Tales of Terror. Let’s explore…

2005 was an interesting year for Malice. I graduated, I started out on my own, I met the love of my life, and I went to my first Halloween Horror Nights. I had always wanted to go, but never ended up able to. That year I was my own man, and by God I was going!  HHN 15 was presided over by the ever watchful Storyteller, Elsa Strict. You really never found out much about Elsa that year. You didn’t even find out her real name until the next year. All you really knew is this creepy old lady was going to aid in dragging you into the world of Terra Cruentus. This world was populated by all different flavors of demons, monsters, and madmen. All of which were under the dominion of the ever sadistic Terra Queen. Now if your kind of confused here, this is why. That year the Terra Queen was supposed to be the Icon. She was even featured on some of the shirts. However, there was trouble with the Queens costume, and the idea was scrapped for The Storyteller. Ultimately the confusion could have been cleared up by simply setting the old biddy at the gate reading a book. Giving you the feeling of as she is telling you the story, you are stepping into the world of Terra Cruentus. Also this year was the second year that the event was spread across both parks. It was the first year though that all the areas were tied in. As random as they may seem, the ideas, they were actually all in different service to the Queen to make the blade for the Ultimate Sacrifice. If you were an avid internet hound, you could have played along on the website and with the event and got to go to an exclusive bash on Halloween night were you find the ultimate sacrifice was the Queen herself! The whole storyline was just nicely thought out, and very interesting how they tied it all in.

Now that you are familiar with the event, let us talk about the Scarezones. Each Scarezone was themed to the houses around it. Overall they achieved greatness with this effect, with the exception of one.  Here’s my impression of them.

Terra Guard Run (IOA Port of Entry)- This area was a good mood setter. You entered through the gates and were met by very tall demon-esque creatures on stilts. The Fog was very think, almost giving you the feeling of being transported into the book. As I said before, this area would have been ten times better if the would have added the Storyteller at the beginning of it. This area lead you to the Terra Throne where all the blood sacrifices were made. Like I said, this really set the mood for me.

Blood Thunder Alley (Marvel Island)- My favorite area of the event. An area that looked to be Mad Max and From Dusk Till Dawn’s love child. Vampire Bikers everywhere. Dancing girls in cages. And Chainsaws….oooh the CHAINSAWS!!! Ultimately the best one as far as design.

North Hollow (Toon Lagoon)- This was the coolest area looks wise. An area filled with strange beings that would jump out of the fog at you. The cool part came from the laser light effect cutting through the fog over your head making it look like you were covered in a sheet of green fog. The only thing I would really complain about is the lack of scares in this area.

Cemetery Mines (Jurassic Park)- I feel this one won my vote for the most scares. With the thick jungle atmosphere, it was easy to hide bush men. And the mole people! Don’t get me started. I made a pet of one and named him Spike. All in, I think the scareactors in this area did a good job of reacting to the people (I made my pet attack a flock of blondes…yes I’m that good!). There was a second part to this zone too, although I don’t feel they made it prominent enough. The Body Collectors could be seen marching through the area, after “harvesting” some fresh organs. It kind of made me take a step back at first because they looked like the Silent Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Fire Pits (The Lost Continent)- This area was supposed to be the Medieval aspect of the event. Using the theming of the area, they were able to really nail it on the head. However I was left wondering why this part was so devolved. They were in the middle-ages, and still mastered the craftsmanship to make chainsaws. That part was a bit inconsistent. The trolls were a nice touch, but the stench from the chainsaws and the fumes from the gas torches coupled with entirely too much smoke, I was really never able to enjoy this zone.

South Hollow (Suess Landing)- This area was the problem child. They came up with the excuse about halfway through the event that this area was only to be open on peak nights. I know because I went once earlier in the month and two other times. I only saw them attempt this area once and it sucked. The area was populated with the same characters as the North Hallow. There really was no other theming then that. In fact when I went through, there were no lights, no nothing. I got concerned because I thought the park was closing. They dropped the ball here, that’s for sure.

The Houses that year also hold a special place in my heart. One of my top 5 actually comes from this year.  Here was my impressions:

Demon Cantina (Carnage Warehouse)- I loved this house above all others that year. I’m such a fan of From Dusk Till Dawn, there was no way I COULDN’T love this you. Your setting is in an old out west bar (much like the one in the movie). Before you walk in they had a barfing man animatronic outside, giving you either the gross out factor or simply just to distract you. The whole bar is over run with vampires, from the bartender to the patrons.  A few scenes to note is the exploding toilet in the bathroom scene (which to add to the gross out factor has what seemed to be a dead body sitting on it). The strobe section is really what caught me and my group off guard. The effect the strobes gave make the vampires look like they were moving around the room at blinding speed. Then the whole house ends with the Devil himself (or what seems to be). I just couldn’t get enough of this house.

The Skool (Thunder Falls Terrace)- The Skool left me with mixed feelings. Although I did enjoy the thought of a Skool being taken over by the students, and the little ones in turn making a mess of everything (and everyone!) I just didn’t feel it was executed as well as it could have been. The maze really relied too much on making you jump because of a loud noise rather than trying for an honest to goodness scare. I did enjoy the teacher being hanged at the very end with a bag over her head. The anything I could think of was Alice Coopers “Schools out.” I will give them kudos for making sure all of the Scareactors were pint-sized. (Not midgets, just really short.)

Blood Ruins (Soundstage 22)- Of course the soundstage houses are generally the best. They have the most room, and creative can get an extra head start on them if need be. Blood Ruins really sold the atmosphere that the Fire Pit was going for a hundred fold! Then you walk in, you are met with the facade of an old village ravaged by the plague and death. Bodies strung in front of the gates and this odd burning smell. (That smell get’s stronger later and you find it’s burning flesh…is it bad it made me hungry?) As your walking through, the villagers reach out for help in some cases. Most though are hell-bent on killing you, or hitting you with a side of beef in one instance. There were plenty of little easter eggs through the house. One of which was the Egyptian Book of Life (the gold one from The Mummy). I’m not sure why it was the Book of Life. Maybe it was for irony? At any rate, it was a solid house with solid scares. The only problem was the amount of stuff in some areas. There was one section of the house where I remember people nearly falling over, because some idiot in front knocked a bunch of props over. Props that you almost couldn’t see because of how dark it was.

Where Evil Hides (Soundstages 18 and 19)- Where do I start? This was a fun house. As close as you could come to an icon house that year. Where Evil Hides was an assault on your childhood fears. Whispers, open doors (a whole hallways of them!), the boogeyman, etc… The facade was that of an old house. Much you would expect to see in any neighborhood. A HHN 15 version of Michael Myers could be seen stalking the front yard (After all he is the boogeyman, right?) The most notable scene was a childs room. You walk into the room to see a little girl sitting on the bed and pointing at the wall. Well, when you fell for it and looked, you were met with a werewolf that would roll out from under the bed and pounce for the scare. (Another time it was a Leatherface-esque maniac bursting out of the closet.) It’s also notable that this house was two stories (You can’t face all your childhood fears without a trip to the Attic). The Trip upstairs brings you face to face with the Storyteller in a scene from the commercial (see below).

Cold Blind Terror (Soundstage 20)- If you have ever dropped acid and been on a bad trip, you’ve experienced this house. Modeled after the Disorientorium from the year before, this maze brought you through a total onslaught to your senses. Unfortunately, at that point in the night, me and my goofy troop put my darling Seras to the front of the line. (We gave the house too much credit!) There were a few scenes that impressed me. One was a black and white patterned room with strobes and people dressed just like the walls. Made the walls look like they were moving. My favorite room had one of the coolest effects in the world. You walk into a solid white room with 2 statues in the middle. On the wall there is a cluster of those really bright 3 million watt flood lights. When those go off, you can’t see because of your eyes being so used to the light. When they come back on the statues are gone and two men dressed like the statues are in the room. This is the part I couldn’t explain. Somehow, one managed to get in between Seras and me, and one in front of Seras. They got right in my face without touching me or Seras, and we were less than 3 inches apart when the lights went out. Other than that room you went through a series of lame scenes (backlight room with scareactors on skates, room filled with bubbles…and nothing else, and a room where I swear the scareactors forgot about, because nobody was there!) I will say it made me laugh though.

Unfortunately, I was unable to hit 2 of the houses. I don’t know how I managed to miss them, I think because my time management skills were not as they are today! I can however tell you what they were about:

Body Collectors (Jurassic Park Discovery Center)- I heard this house was the favorite. It really killed me to miss this one. I think I missed it because I could never find the entrance. The only entrance I ever found was the express, and I kept getting lost finding the other. The story here was about a group of sadistic madmen that call themselves The Body Collectors. (Guess what they did?) These psychos would harvest organs, blood, and bone to aid in making the Terra Throne Blade. I’ve seen pictures, and have gone to the second version of this house (I will get to that later!) That being said I can tell you it must have been super impressive. This house is my White Buffalo (…the one that got away…)

Terror Mines (Poseidon’s Fury)-The rumors of this house is what kept me cautious . The hype however was better than what I’ve heard from others. The hype was you were going through the mines with the only source of light being a miner’s helmet (A light source that would go out in intervals). This didn’t translate well. Only every fifth person got a hat, and it didn’t work all the time. The mole people as cool as they were, never really popped in this house. From what I’ve heard the concept was there, they just didn’t pull it off. Maybe because they had to theme around the ride Poseidon’s Fury? At any rate, this was voted everyone’s least favorite.

I would also like to mention the shows. This was back when there wasn’t a whole lot of emphasis on them. There were only two, and one was more of an arrival show than anything.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure- There is no HHN without this show. It has become as integral as the houses themselves. This year was one of the best. In some aspects I consider it the best.  If you have never been, this show is an assault on anything and everything po culture (NOTHING IS SACRED!!) 2005 gave them plenty of ammo (Star Wars, Batman, Willy Wonka, Dukes of Hazzard, The Ring, Family Guy, etc… and even the Fast Food Icons!!) It was definitely a you had to be there moment. Trust me if you find it on YouTube….it’s worth a watch!

The Terra Throne- Every HHN has an Arrival show. For this year you were welcomed to the world of Terra Cruentus by the Terra Throne. This was where they made nightly (OK Hourly) blood sacrifice to the Terra Queen. The ceremonies were presided over by the Queens lacky Eel Mouth. He would wander through the crowd spouting off his speeches of praise for the Queen. Planted actors were then taken to the altar for sacrifice by different mutilation ranging from knife to chainsaw!

The only thing I have really left out was the Rat Run. It was a large chain link fence area that really had no point. There were air blowers throughout it so people passing by could offer their own little scare. Or sometimes they were on the reverse, and you could get them! The whole thing was built around a tower where Jack the Clown would taunt and harass you. There wasn’t a whole lot of point to it, but it was fun for a laugh.

My overall opinion of the event was one of awe. It has been the last event to be over in Islands of Adventure. I’m kind of glad they stopped the two park thing. It made it very difficult to get from one end to the other. I also feel that you are limited in your scarezones in IOA because of the different island themes. Universal is a little more neutral in that respect. I have fond memories of that year, and as they say you never forget your first. Make sure you check out the commercial below for the event. This is the end of this tale….but only the prelude to the next chapter….

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  September 20, 2010 | Categories: Halloween Horror Nights | Leave a comment

A Change in Plans…

Hello, My Freaky Darlings…

Well as some of you may know I had a few plans coming up in October. I was going to Spooky Empire’s Ultimate Horror Weekend. There I was going to get some really good interviews, catch some really good shows, and review a convention. Life it seems has interrupted those plans! That is not what fate has chosen to put in my way. I’m a little disappointed. I was looking forward to meeting some good people and delivering My Freaky Darlings some pretty cool interviews. As those aren’t happening, I do apologize. There is still some rather cool coverage coming up from some rather epic people. But as far as the extra-special cool interview I originally promised you, it is no more…….but did you really think i would let that stop me My Freaky Darlings…..

This Mad Man is cooking up something monstrously epic for you! It’s time this Psychotik goes back to his roots. Back to the start of where my October fun came from. I’m going to offer you an epic review, but it’s going to be on something I’m an expert at. As far as interviews go, hang on to your freak hats, because I’m lining up some stuff I’m sure to impress. My plans might have been changed, but I’ll still deliver you the madness you crave….Hang on to your seats, this is going to be a truly FRIGHTENING ride!

Sadistically Yours,

Malice Psychotik

P.S. I hope you all enjoy the new layout….

Posted by  |  September 16, 2010 | Categories: Psychotik News Asylum!, Ramblings of a Mad Man | Leave a comment

Ladies and Gentleman, Steve Dash!

Very few people can start a new in the film business at 66 years old. I’m had the pleasure of interviewing such a man. Steve Dash is a true Phoenix from the ashes. Out of nowhere he has hit the scene again and hard with several lead and supporting roles in up and coming films. So far he has come back with roles as a Mob Boss all the way to a Control Freak Cop. And the man still has more to come! I hope you all find this interview as enlightening as I have. So with out another word or further delay…..

Ladies and Gentleman, Steve Dash!

Malice: I’m here today with Steve Dash. You all may know him as the REAL Jason in Friday the 13th: Part 2, but truth be told he is so much more than that. So, Steve Dash, it looks like you have been busy lately. With several films coming out and more on the way I’m sure. How do you make time for it all?

Dash: Yes I am busy and I am fortunate that I can take as much time as needed to do film work. I worked pretty steady back in the 80s & 90s and had to re-establish my self in 2009 when I got back in the business. Like I said I was fortunate that my reputation preceded me and I was able to work again.

Malice: So I was looking at the trailer for Trust Me, I have to say you make a really convincing Mob Boss. Can you tell me anything about this movie?

Dash: I was doing a film 13 with Jason Strathom, Ray Liotta and several other named stars.

It’s a film about Russian Roulette and gambling on who will live and who will die. It’s not like the Friday the 13, I am one of the many gamblers who is betting on which contestant will win the game. While shooting the film a fellow by the name of Roberto Rizzo, a writer, saw me on set and asked me star in his new film Trust Me as mob boss

Frank DeLeo. He liked the way I carried myself as a bad guy and that’s why he offered me the role. I took it and we shot a short version of hoping to get money to complete the film which we are doing now.

Malice: What kind of research did you do for the role? Any specific inspiration?

Dash: I did nothing, I was just me. I was brought up in an Italian neighborhood in the Bronx and have been around wanna be mobsters all my life, it was easy

Det. Vorhees in Thomas Churchill's Emerging Past

Malice: Another film that looks quite interesting is Emerging Past. How did you come across this role?

Dash: I got a call from my friend Tony Moran who was the first Michael Myers. He told me he was asked to do this horror film Emerging Past and only make a cameo appearance. He told them he couldn’t as he was on the west coast but suggested they call me as I was on the east coast where they were shooting, they were thrilled and didn’t know I was in NY

I called David Madison who was the producer and he explained that they wanted to have several horror names for the film to promote it better for release. He had Tom Churchill the director call me to set up a date we could shoot, we got together and I became Detective Vorhees  name taken from the Jason character I played in Friday the 13th: Part 2.

Malice: Is there anything you can tell us about “Det. Vorhees”?

Dash: He is a control freak who comes onto a horrific murder scene in a basement when a photographer comes on the scene and is snapping pictures. The way it was shot is very dramatic and I give kudos to director Tom Churchill for taking such a small part and making it larger than life on-screen.

Malice: I’ve been keeping close tabs on the upcoming Mr. Hush, ever since I had the pleasure of sitting down with the Director Dave Madison. All of the characters in this movie I find interesting. What kind of character is “Mac”? How is he involved in the story?

Dash: “Mac” is a great character, he is the guy in the film that breaks the tension of what is going on and shows the leading character (Brad Loree) in a very personal way. He’s a very take charge kinda guy, when Mac comes on screen the movie moves in another direction and then all of a sudden you are back in the suspense of what is going on

Malice: Having acted in the movie, what’s your take on the movie? What do you think viewers can expect?

Dash: Since I have only read the script and was privileged to be on set during some of the other shots, it looks like a good horror film. I can tell you this, it’s different. I expect it to be good, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it.

Malice: With Weekend of Fear being your last convention, is there anything your going to miss?

Dash: No nothing, I have done so many conventions over the last 5 years to satisfy my ego that I feel it is time to focus on my new film career. Don’t get me wrong Jason was my ticket but I have a lot more to give and hope to go in that direction.

Malice: I’ve always been interested in stunts. To act the hit is one thing, but to take it is a completely different ball game. You were a stunt driver in Night Shift (1982), is it easier doing acting stunts or vehicle stunts?

Dash: Remember I was an actor first and a stuntman second. I was fortunate enough that one of the top stunt coordinators in the country, Cliff Cudney, took a liking to me and helped me be a stuntman. I think being an actor first was a big help. Back in the 80s I was only 1 of maybe 5 guys that could act and do stunts at the same time. Being able to do both saved film companies lots of money because they didn’t have to hire a stunt double.

Malice: I also couldn’t help but notice you’ve done stunts in one of my all time favorite movies, The Ghost Busters. You stunted for William Atherton, also known as Walter Peck if I read correctly. What type of stunts did you do? You weren’t the one covered in marshmallow at the end were you?

Dash: Yes, I was, I doubled him so he wouldn’t get the junk all over him. I also was involved in the big car crash, when all the cars merge into each other as the ghost comes over the building, I was driving a taxi in the mess.

Malice: Of all the roles you have played, which one is you all time favorite?

Dash: I have to say Frank DeLeo in Trust Me, first of all it was my first lead in a film  and second a lot of the script was written with my personality in mind.

Malice: It was nice of you to take the time with me Steve, before I go is there anything you would like to add?

Dash: I am now 66 years old and on a new film career. I have decided to do only films where I get a credit in the front of the film not the back, in other words I will only do roles that have some meat in them and I can express my creative juices to show what I can do. You would be surprised at how many characters I can portray. In October I am playing a southern sheriff in a film called Alive in Reywood, I hope you interview then when I am finished with that film.

You heard it Ghouls and Guys! Keep on the look out for Steve in some of his upcoming films. There will be a showing of Emerging Past at the Freak Show Film Festival which will take place on October 9, 2010 at 3:30PM at Spooky empire’s Ultimate Horror Weekend. For all of you fans up north,the premier of Mr. Hush at Mr. Hush Weekend of Fear will be October 23, 2010. Both movie’s look to be absolutely incredible, and I can’t wait to review them both! That’s all for today…

Until Next Time… My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

((For the full collaborative interview between Trash Cinema Collective’s Primal Root and myself, head on over to From Dusk Till Con))

Posted by  |  September 8, 2010 | Categories: Interviews! | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Dusker of the Month for September: Athena Hollow

It’s that time again! Time to unveil the next Dusker of the Month. That Dusker is Athena Hollow!! Yes Ghouls and Guys, our very own multi-tasking, super mom, porn star is September’s Dusker. So let’s get to know her. Let’s look a little into the very psyche of her mind. Let’s just….

Take It Off! Getting Personal with Athena Hollow

Dusker of the Month for September, Athena Hallow

Malice: We have a real treat for Dusker of the Month this month. She’s our very own video game loving, anime watching, horror fan, Super Mom, web designing, Adult Model…..ATHENA HOLLOW everybody! So Athena, I have never asked this before….How did you stumble upon From Dusk Till Con? (Yeah, that’s the question…what did you think it was…perverts…)

Athena: Actually, it’s because of my Father in Law. He informed me of the FM convention. I checked out the site, and at the time, the official forum was being hosted on FDTC. I signed up and found myself surrounded by people like myself. That alone is a scary thought… more than one person who thinks like I do. Needless to say, I stuck around and *ALMOST* got to meet a lot of you while in town for said con. Unfortunately, life sucks and it didn’t work out. Oh well, always other conventions 🙂

Malice: One of the hardest things about getting to know someone on a forum is you only see whats posted. You never get to see the whole story! Tell us a little about yourself…

Athena: Well, I live a relatively boring life, all things considered. I used to be fun and adventurous, but then I became domesticated somehow. I do however still lead an exciting life by everyone else’s standards. I guess that’s because I get paid to look at hot naked chicks all day.

I’m 25 years old, have a 4-year-old daughter, I’ve been with the same guy for 7 1/2 years, involved in porn for 7 of that and make websites for a living. Not really glamorous, but it works for me 🙂

Aren't the little ones darling...?

Malice: What kind of music are you into?

Athena: I really listen to a lot of different music. It’s hard to narrow it down. Lots of classic rock like Rush & Skynard. Also, J-Pop/Happy Hardcore and acts like Tub Ring, Mindless Self-Indulgence and mc chris. I’m an oddball and not ashamed to admit it.

Malice: Are there any films that have caught your interest?

Athena: Oh man. LOTS of movies have caught my interest. Lately, movies I *want* to see are Inception, Scott Pilgrim & the new Predator flick. Movies I *have* seen, that really struck me, were Salt, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (hilarious, btw) and I finally watched The Mist. Goddamn that movie is a mindscrew.

Athena as Hinata....

Malice: You’re a fan of anime. Which one’s capture your eye?

Athena: I prefer the more obscure anime and one season mainstream anime. The best I’ve found are FLCL, Saber Marionette series & Angel Sanctuary. If you want super gory anime that makes no sense whatsoever, Angel Sanctuary is where it’s at.

Malice: What about video games. Which ones press your buttons?

Athena: Fallout 3 is one of the best games I’ve ever played. Zombies, Super Mutants and scorpions that can rip you in half with one flick of their pinchers. Currently though, until Fallout: New Vegas comes out, I’ve been playing a lot of Dungeons and Dragons: Online. It’s free, it’s fun and I can get nearly anyone I know to play it for those reasons.

Malice: How often do you frequent the convention circuit? Any favorites?

Athena: I actually am terrible. I have yet to get to a single horror convention. (I know, I know). I am a gaming con kinda girl. That being said, I have gone to Gen Con a few times and there’s a local Bi-Mon-Anime/Sci-Fi-Con that I used to go to regularly.

I do, however, plan on going to the Indianapolis cons next year. Luckily, I *should* be able to get Press Passes and go for free, which means more money for autographs and swag!

Tinker who?

Malice: So I’m interested, what got you into adult modeling?

Athena: Honestly, it started as a 9th grade English assignment. We were told to write an essay on what we wanted to be when we were adults. I wrote mine about how I wanted to become a famous singer. (sidenote: I’ve been involved in music since a very young age. I’ve done talent & solo competitions for years, and actually placed in the top 3 every time, if not 1st.) I knew I’d need some sort of ‘edge’ to get noticed immediately, so I figured “Fuck it. I’ll do porn! It worked for Pamela & Tommy Lee!” So called ‘negative’ publicity is the best way to get your name in every newspaper, tabloid and internet blog. It was a sound theory. My english teacher even gave me an A for such thorough planning and originality.

Once I turned 18, I applied to my first site, got accepted and actually have been active on the site since then. The rest just kind of fell into place.

Malice: How long have you been at it?

Athena: It was 7 years this past July. Long time, for most people in the adult industry, let alone in the niche I work in.

Malice: What made you decide to open your personal website, Geek Girls Online?

Athena: It was actually my fiance’s idea. He’s still not too happy with the fact that I just sort of took over the project, back in the first few months. I knew that if I were running things, it would bode better for the future of the site, since I had a background in the adult industry, was relatively known and had a penchant for ethical pornography.

Malice: Have you gotten any strange requests? Anything just out there?

Athena: All The Time! The weirdest are the guys who want me to ‘laugh’ at the size of their schlong. I just don’t get it. They want me to do this while I’m camming, in public chat, where everyone can hear me laughing. Oh, and the guys that want to roleplay family stuff. Those guys freak me out just a wee bit. Which is an impressive feat, in and of itself.

Malice: What are your hopes for the future of your site?

Athena: Eventually, I would like to integrate a more social aspect of the site. I also have been working on setting up games to integrate into the site, but that has been proven to be a bit more difficult that we could imagine. Also, daily articles for the GeekZine (our currently monthly magazine) would be nice. Oh! And a presence at all major gaming conventions would help to make it a more household name.

Malice: So it’s a tradition here that I ask you a round of totally out the pocket questions….are you game?

Athena: Always!

Malice: A nun and a Trucker walk into a Church….Can you finish the joke?

Athena: The trucker enters a confessional booth and states “Forgive me father, for I have sinned”
The priest responds “What are your sins my son?”
The trucker says “I have cheated on my wife with a man named Sam”
The priest says “Say seven holy marys and all will be forgiven”
The trucker thanks the priest and leaves the booth.
The nun walks to the priest and asks to join his church.
The priest responds “What is your name my child?”
The nun responds “My name is Sam.”

(You never said I had to finish it so it was funny!)

Malice: Would you consider a photo shoot….with a midget furry?

Athena: I most definitely would, as long as they were dressed up as an Ewok.

Malice: Would you rather do a spread as Princess Zelda or Tifa Lockheart of Final Fantasy VII?

Athena: Tifa. Zelda is a bitch that keeps getting hijacked. I assume we’d get halfway through doing it and Ganon would break through the door and interrupt.

Malice: If you got to pick your end would you:
A) Get sucked dry by a vampire B) Be Eaten by a Were-Wolf C) Mauled by a Zombie D) Killed by James “Buffalo Bill” Gumb

Athena: Zombie. I wouldn’t have to chance being a twinkling bastard, no waiting till a full moon and dealing with an obviously painful transformation and my skin is sun damaged, so Buffalo Bill would HATE me.

Malice: In closing do you have anything you would like to add?

Athena: Um. Jeepers Creepers sucks. That is all.

Malice: Where’s your one place for Madness on the Web?

Athena: What’s the best place to go for zombies, insanity and mayhem? Encyclopedia Psychotika! (You mean, there’s other places to go??)

There you have it folks! If you are interested in Miss Athena Hollow and feel you can’t get enough, you can follow her blog, Demented Rants or catch her on Twitter. Also be sure to check out her site Geek Girls Online.  Hope you all enjoyed the interview. There is much more madness to come….you won’t want to miss a second. But for tonight…

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  September 1, 2010 | Categories: Interviews! | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

Meet Vernon Mortensen…

It’s not everyday that you see a totally original idea for a zombie film. Today I had that day! Vernon Mortensen is Director and Producer of Universal Dead. He is also a former U.S Navy SWCC. It is a real pleasure to sit down with an American Hero and one hell of a Director. With only three short webisodes, this film has me wanting more. So without delay, I present an interview on behalf of From Dusk Till Con preformed by yours truly…

Meet Vernon Mortensen…


Malice Psychotik: So today I have the honor of interviewing not only a phenomenal director, but a former member of our county’s Navy. We’re here to talk about his web series Universal Dead. We’ll get to that in a minute. First I want to talk about you. You were an US Navy SWCC, what is that exactly?

Vernon Mortensen: Navy Special Warfare Combatant-craft Crewmen (or SWCC, pronounced “swick”) are organized into Special Boat Teams and usually work with US Navy SEALs and other special operation forces. We are experts in Special Operations but are masters of Maritime Special Operations and operate and maintain an inventory of state-of-the-art, high-performance assault boats used to conduct special operations missions.  We are experts in covert mobility.

Navy SWCCs and SEALs go through separate but similar training.  Navy SWCCs must pass a 22 week course in order to earn a spot in the Teams.  Only about 20% of the students pass this unforgiving course to earn the coveted SWCC warfare badge.  Most students quit because the training is just too mentally and physically difficult.

A Navy SWCC must become an expert in weapons, tactics, engineering, combat medicine, radio and satellite communications, land and sea navigation, air operations, water rescue, wilderness and ocean survival, and so much more!

It was the best job (next to filmmaking of course) that anyone can have!

Malice: What made you decide to do film? Was it something you decided while in the service, or had it always been in the back of your mind?

Vernon: When I was in High School, my father’s cousin was a Teamster at Universal Studios and he took me to work with him on the set of Back to the Future for two weeks.  That’s when I decided I wanted to make movies.  The Navy career came first, but I always knew I would make movies for a living sooner or later.

Malice: What kind of films do you like?

Vernon: I like them all!  I always have a special place in my heart for sci-fi/horror, but I’m a filmmaker… I love them all.  I have a boxing movie called The Kid: Chamaco starring Martin Sheen, that’s in theaters across the USA right now (http://sites.google.com/site/chamacofilm/).  My film company, Unconventional Films, is also making a western called “The Sorrow” this year.

Malice: Do you have a preference when it comes to zombie films?

Vernon: The original Day of the Dead set the benchmark in my opinion.

Malice: Your theory of the zombocolypse it, uber original! Why Physics? Why that over infection?

Vernon: That comes from my business partner and the writer of Universal Dead, Kelly Parks.  Kelly is the world’s only Ex-CIA/Rocket Scientist/Stand-up Comic/Screenwriter and is a very smart (like MENSA smart) aerospace engineer and all around science geek.

When Kelly and I were kicking around the idea for Universal Dead, he always had a problem with the whole “infection theory.”  An infection doesn’t explain how a zombie can sustain a shotgun blast to the heart and keep coming at you.  No, that really bothered Kelly, so like any good scientist; he sat down and developed a workable theory of physics that explained how zombies behave.  It really is brilliant.

Malice: Universal Undead has a pretty original concept. Where did you draw some of your inspiration from?

Vernon: Kelly is a huge fan of the book “Flatland” by Edwin Abbott Abbott.  There’s even a reference to it in the 3rd episode.  The book inspired him to develop the theory that Dr. Vattaber (Doug Jones) gives us in Universal Dead.

Aside from that, the story is different from most zombie movies because it does not take place on “Day Zero” or the days soon after the apocalypse starts.  Universal Dead takes place five years after “Day Zero” and these people are all that’s left of the human race.  Tight-knit communities of survivors have formed and usually, but not always, under the supervision of the remaining military units, and these people don’t fall for the usual zombie non-sense (as you see in the “bite check” scene in episode 1).

These people are damaged! They have baggage we can’t even imagine and that makes for very interesting characters.

Malice: Are you planning on keeping this idea in a webisode format, or do you think you will move to something bigger?

Vernon: We have just signed contracts with one of the lot producers at Paramount Studios.  We are going to be making Universal Dead as a 3D movie to be released by Paramount sometime in late 2011.

Malice: At any rate, you really have my anticipation up for the next webisode. Can we expect to see it soon?

Vernon: Sorry, our deal stipulates that we stop releasing episodes until the movie comes out… but hey, Universal Dead is gonna be a 3D movie… UD3D!

Malice: Let’s move to your production company, Unconventional Films. How did this idea come about?
Neil Trusso, one of the other partners in Unconventional Films and Producer of Universal Dead, is a former Navy SEAL.  Neil and I were deployed together to the war-torn African nation of Somalia in 1994, as depicted in the movie “Black Hawk Down,” and while we were there, Neil and I started making comic books.  I would write the stories and Neil would illustrate them.  That was the beginning of our collaboration and the beginning of Unconventional Films.

And BTW, there are four real US Navy SEALs in Universal Dead who play our Navy SEALs; Craig Sawyer (History Channel’s Top Shot) Cade Courtley (Spike TV’s Surviving Disaster) Joe Baker (Afghan Knights) and Rob Guzzo (Transformers 3).

Kelly Parks and I met years later at a meeting of the professional organization, San Diego Filmmakers, and we really hit it off.  While we were producing our first web series, The Crusader (www.watchthecrusader.com ), we made Kelly a partner.  Kelly wrote and directed most of the episodes of The Crusader and really impressed us so we asked him to join our insane asylum.

Everything else is history…

Malice: What else can we expect to see from this company?

Vernon: We have more horror/sci-fi projects in the pipeline, and as I mentioned before, there’s our boxing movie, The Kid: Chamaco and our western, The Sorrow.  We have a ton of co-productions in the pipeline with our sister company, Rogue Arts.  They [Rogue Arts] are mainly an indie drama company, but with the boxing movie The Kid: Chamaco, they are venturing into the “genre” movie world with us and they now want to be a part of a few of our upcoming genre movies including our western.

Rogue Arts is quite a success story.  The owner, Kirk Harris, is a great friend and has been running this company; successfully I might add, for over 15 years!  That’s quite a track record for an indie company.  Rogue Arts has a huge catalog of movies and is always making new movies.

Malice: Well it’s a trademark of mine to ask a round of off the wall questions. Are you game for some madness?

Vernon: Sure…

Malice: What are your feelings on a Zombie Apocalypse? Thinks it’s possible?

Vernon: Well the science is there, as Kelly Parks proved… but I think the closest thing we will probably ever experience, or have a real possibility of experiencing, is a pandemic scenario.  In a pandemic, the rule of law eventually collapses as government succumbs to the same disease that’s killing everybody else.  At this point, the people who are left, the survivors, revert to being animals and all humanity is lost.  This is a scenario that I could see actually happening on a global scale… scary!

Malice: In a zombie crisis, what’s your weapon of choice?

Vernon: I’ve actually given this a lot of thought.  Zombies are very different from the adversaries a military man like me is used to confronting.  We don’t have issues like zombies wearing body armor, or using intelligent tactics against us.  Wounding a zombie does no good and is a waste of ammo.  Knocking a zombie down might save you some time, but guess what?  The zombie will get back up and come after you.  The only thing that matters is damaging the brain and impairing brain function.

I would choose a weapon with a military caliber and one of the lighter calibers so I could carry more.  If you know where to look, the military has bunkers full of ammo all across the USA.  Because I’d only need to focus on penetrating the skull and damaging the brain, bigger, heavier calibers like 7.62 or 12ga. are out.  So, I’d probably settle on an M4 in the 5.56 caliber.  I’d probably have a suppressor (most people call them silencers but there is no such thing as a silent gun) so that I could minimize the attention I’d call to myself if I did have to shoot a zombie.  Maybe I’d even add a fast target acquisition system like an “Aimpoint” or an “EOTech.”  For long distance I’ve always been partial to the ACOG (I had one on my M4 in the Navy). Availability of parts and simple operation and maintenance are also big considerations.

With the M4 the options are endless!

Malice: Do you like Predators or Aliens?

Vernon: I like it when Predators fight Aliens!

Malice: Lucio Fulci or George Romero?

Vernon: Fulci is good but Romero all the way… except for Land of the Dead.  Hated that one!

Malice: This was a very enlightening conversation. Thank you for doing this interview. It was honor on so many levels!  A great director and an honest to God Patriot. Is there anything else you would like to add before we finish?

Vernon: Just one thing…

Those of us who made Universal Dead are big zombie fans!  We set out to make a movie/web series that would make us and the other fans out there very happy and it appears that we have succeeded so far.  We are very, very humbled by the response we’ve gotten and would like to thank our fans and assure everyone that we will do our best to make UD3D into a kick ass movie (not like most 3D movies) and to take it somewhere interesting and new.

Thanks for watching!

Vernon….

Thank you very much for the interview Vernon! Now if anyone else wants to hunt down those juicy webisodes, feel free to look at THIS. There you can get a little history and view the original Webisodes. Trust me, it will be well received. Also, don’t forget to keep an eye out for this film in 2011. Universal Dead in 3-D off all things. I know I can’t wait!

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  August 24, 2010 | Categories: Interviews! | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

The Root Du Jour

OK, so I was very brave the other day. I tried a meal that was so strange, I couldn’t belive my taste buds. Before I tell you the details of how to make it, I’ll tell you how the idea sparked.

So the other day I was talking to one of my partners in internet social corruption, The Primal Root. He was telling me about his plans for the night, when he mentioned he was going to have his favorite hamburger treat. It was a Hamburger topped with banana, pineapple, and peanut butter! I was just dumb founded. How do you figure out these things go well on a hamburger? It was then I made the solemn promise to try this for myself. After all, I pride myself on the unusual tastes that I myself posses (Oriental Meatloaf anyone…?) I even said I would make it a custom meal devoted to tastes inspired by him. I added to this meal a drink Root introduced to me a couple of years back, called the Stiff Root. What was the verdict?

Absolutely delicious! The Flavors in this meal were off the chart! The hamburger had such a different, but very cool taste to it. The peanut butter, pineapple, and banana’s complement each other so well…it was divine. Couple that with a nice glass of Stiff Root and a side of Nathans fries…it was just awesome. Want to make one of your own?

It’s important to know I will never give you exact measurements on spices. I myself do not know how much i put in. I just season to taste.

This is a truly EPIC meal...

The Root Du Jour

1) Mix 1bs hamburger meat with one egg, onion powder, garlic powder and pepper in a bowl. Roll into balls and then make into patties. It will yield 4 medium-sized patties. Cook them on a skillet on high heat to preference.

2) Spread peanut butter on both sides of the bun.

3) Cut banana into slices. Place on the peanut butter.

4) Spread pineapple on top. I used Crushed, but really it doesn’t matter.

5) Serve with Nathans fries and a Stiff Root

Stiff Root is Half and Half Jagermeister and Root Beer Schnapps. Serve in a glass for full effect.

If your brave enough to try it, I promise a good meal…and a pretty good buzz too!

Sadistically Yours,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  August 14, 2010 | Categories: Ramblings of a Mad Man | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Allow Me to Introduce Dave Madison…

The other day, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dave Madison. Dave is the Director of an up coming independent film, Mr. Hush. He is also the promoter for Mr. Hush Weekend of Fear. I have to say, I’m very impressed with this movie and the convention. The movie looks fantastic, and the convention line-up is pretty tight. They even have the privilege of being Steve Dash’s last show. It was great being able to chat with Dave, he’s such a down to earth guy and real genre fan at heart. I truly feel that it’s people like him, that will lead the horror genre in the direction it needs to go. So without wasting another key stroke, done in the name of From Dusk till Con, and interviewed by yours truly…

Allow Me to Introduce, Dave Madison…

That's Dave in the Middle...

Malice Psychotik: So we will get to the movie and the convention in a moment, but first I would like to ask some question about you if you don’t mind. I think it would be pretty fair to say that you are a fan of horror film. Why Horror? What got you into the genre?

Dave Madison: As a product of the 80’s, I was exposed to some of the finest horror films ever made.  In addition, my older brother, Bob, who was like a father-figure to me, adored the classic Universal films.  Every Halloween, these films would be shown on the local PBS station; it is one of my fondest childhood memories.

Malice: What are some of your favorite Horror films?

Dave: I have a real passion for the Universal classic films such as Karloff’s Frankenstein, Lugosi’s Dracula and Chaney’s Wolfman.  Fright Night is one of the finest horror films ever made with just the right amount of scares and wit.  Halloween is driven by the great performances of Donald Pleasance and Jamie Lee Curtis.  The Lost Boys was a great popcorn, summer vampire film that was beautifully shot.  Near Dark made smarmy cool and American Werewolf in London was terrifying as our hero never really had a chance to win.  Other great horror films, in no particular order, are  Frank Langella’s Dracula, Evil Dead, the original King Kong, and Needful Things.

Malice: Is there anyone in the genre that you look up to specifically?

Dave: No, oddly enough, I think Frank Capra was the finest film maker that ever lived.  I would have loved to have worked with the late Roddy McDowall, Donald Pleasance or Vincent Price.

Malice: Let’s move to Mr. Hush. I’ve seen the trailer, and I have to say I’m impressed! It looks really good, and I can’t wait to see it. What was your inspiration for the film?

Dave: Mr Hush is the perfect storm of films that have inspired me over the course of my life.  I like to think it is smart and witty like Fright Night, well acted like Langella’s Dracula, and paced like a great Carpenter film.

Malice: What has been your favorite part of the film making process?

Dave: The writing.  It is really rewarding to see your characters come to life by extremely talented actors and actresses.

Malice: You have a pretty tight cast going on with this film. What helped you pick some of them?

Dave: After knowing most of these people for a while, this particular script was written to the strengths of these fine actors. Stark, for example, brings Stephen Geoffreys back to what he is beloved for by genre fans, classic horror with a touch of dark humor.

Stephen Geoffreys in a scene from Mr. Hush

Malice:  Any on-set stories you can share with us?

Dave: Sets are kind of like Vegas, what happens there stays there!

Malice: What advice do you have for anyone trying to get into the business of film? Anything you have learned?

Dave: Keep working at it and if you have talent, it will eventually come to you.  And the most important thing you can ever learn is never take yourself too seriously.

Malice: I would also like to discuss your convention. What got the idea started for the convention?

Dave: The genesis of the convention came when I was pondering how to introduce the next cultural horror icon to as many people as possible.  The Weekend of Fear is really just a celebration of our beloved genre where new film makers, veteran film makers, actors, actresses and fans can convene for a weekend of fun.  What is most important to me is that we stay true to our genre.

Malice: Do you attend other conventions? If so, do you have any favorites?

Dave: I have attended a handful and all have been fun.

Malice: Is there any special events that you think will stand out at your show? Anything you think fans are not going to want to miss?

Dave: So much fun, so little time.  Here are a few not to be missed:  Friday night’s Masquerade Ball – if you have not partied with Brad Loree (Michael Myers in Halloween: Resurrection), you haven’t lived!  Steve Dash (Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th Part 2) will be making his last convention appearance- if you have not had a chance to meet this horror icon, he is truly a fan favorite. Stephen Geoffreys and Tiffany Shepis discussing Corey Haim’s last horror genre film, New Terminal Hotel, should be very interesting. And of course, the world premier of Mr Hush.  Plus there will be more surprises.

Malice: Your guest list looks great! Will you be adding anymore to the list? Any hints?

Dave: There are more to come and they are all from the horror genre. wink wink

Malice: This being the first show, where do you see the show going? Do you have any goals for the show to grow?

Dave: I hope that every autumn, people converge on northeastern PA to celebrate the greatest genre in film today. But truly the most important thing is that everyone has fun!

Malice:  Alright, before we wrap this up, it’s become a trademark of mine to ask a round of completely random questions. Would you be interested in participating in the madness?

Dave: Sure

Malice: If you could be any infectious disease, which would you be?

Dave: mono

Malice: Who do you think would win between Lestat (from Queen of the Damned) and David (from The Lost Boys)

Dave: Lestat was a buttercup so it would be David, hands down.  But David would fall quickly to the mighty Evil Ed.

Malice:  How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could dual wield chainsaws?

Dave: 2 cords

Malice:  Have you ever had something so good, it made you want to smack a man named “Rufus”

Dave: Sal’s chicken parm

Malice:  Well, I want to thank you for doing this interview. You have been awesome and it was a pleasure having you. I really look forward to see Mr. Hush when it’s ready. Is there anything you would like to add?

Dave: Thanks for the time.  It was great.  I hope everyone loves Mr Hush.  We made a film that is very different from the types of horror films Hollywood pumps out today.  We’re not in 3D, and we’re smart with a touch of dark humor.  It is exactly the direction the genre should be going in.  And I can’t wait to see everyone at the Weekend of Fear- we will have a blast.

Well that wraps up the interview with Mr. Madison. I look forward to seeing Mr. Hush. I just can’t wait to hear more news. If anyone else would like to keep up with the movie or the convention, you can catch the news on the website at MrHush.net.

Sadistically Yours,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  August 12, 2010 | Categories: Interviews! | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

A Moment to Ponder…

To know me, you would know I come up with some rather interesting thoughts. I figured, why not take the time and share those ideas. So, the other day I sat down and wrote some of the first things that came to mind. Just some random ideas that I figured I could explore here for you all to see. This is what I came up with:

1) What if Japanese Anime was real life?
Could you imagine? Think of all the endless possibilities. Now the reason I didn’t isolate it to one anime for a reason. Just in general. Japanese Anime brings to life some of the most creative, impossible ideas I have ever seen. Wether it is a teenage girl being transported to feudal Japan via a well (Inuyasha), or an alternate universe where Alchemy triumphed over Physics (Full Metal Alchemist) . It would all make life very interesting. Even worlds like Poke’mon or Yu-Gi-Oh! would have potential to spice up life a little. Come on a world where all of life’s battles are solved with a dual between super powered monsters, or a card game? Much better than what we have right now, that’s for sure. For the sake of discussion though, why not limit it down to three worlds I think would be fun. I say I have to go with Naruto, Bleach, or Full Metal Alchemist. Why those? Simple really! Ninjas are freakin’ awesome! Watch or Read Naruto and that will paint a much bigger picture for you. Bleach? Well I’m already a believer as far as the paranormal is concerned. Taking that idea, and coming up with a secret group of “Soul Reapers” to hunt down the good and help them pass, and vanquish the evil…..well intrigues me. It’s like they are souped up Ghost Busters.Only instead of a proton pack, they use their very own spiritual energy. Finally, we come to Full Metal Alchemist. This story is a lot like us anyway. Hell, the whole world is supposed to be a parallel universe to our own. The difference, Alchemy advanced further than Physics. Same world, funn-er science. Works for me!!

2) What if I came to work dressed as The Joker?

I’m interested to know. Honestly, I expect a lot of strange looks from old people. But would it make people nervous. What about the really rude people? If you got all “Joker” on them, would they really keep running their mouth?. I could see it now, “Listen buddy! I want you to get your ass back behind the counter and shut your fuckin’ mouth!” “How about a magic trick instead? I’m going to make this pencil….disappear…” Even something as simple as them starting to cuss you out, and just giving the those familiar looks would be a gas for me! I’m sure in a day you would have some people questioning your mental sanity, but on the complete positive side, you may have one of the least stressful days of your life. “You idiots never get anything right! I don’t know why I come back here, because you are all a bunch of Fuck Ups!!” “You wanna know how I got these scars?”

3) How great would it be to put an angry badger in the back seat of someone’s car?

I’ve heard of people putting anything from snakes to spiders in someone’s car. However, I have never heard of someone putting an angry badger in someone’s car! I for one am for this! I could just imagine someone getting off of work. It’s been a hard day, they’re tired. They get into the car, lock the door, and start the car. Then they hear it, the low pitch growl of pissed off badger that has been in the car for at least on hour. They turn to grab the door, then it’s to late, the badger unleashes hell. This is the kind of situation that you wait around the corner with a video camera, because this HAS to go on YouTube. I see it going viral within an hour. The real question is, who gets this done to them. It has to be someone that has REALLY pissed you off. I don’t really think the badger would kill them (Then again I don’t know much about badgers other than they are cool and real easy to piss off) Still, the thought alone makes me laugh. “Whats that sound…? OH GOD IT’S A FUCKING BADGER!! GET IT OFF ME!! GET IT OFF! WHY GOD!? WHY!!!!?”

4) Has anybody’s life been saved by House?

Some might say this is a ridiculous thing to think about, but I beg to differ. That show deals with so many long shot cases and exotic disease it’s hard to belive how it couldn’t. Now I know Hugh Laurie hasn’t personally saved anyone like that, but surely there are real doctors out there that watch the show. I just wonder if there ever has been a person that went to the E.R with on of these of the wall illnesses, and because of the show, it was recognized. For example, Johnny Trainwreck over here goes to the E.R and they can’t figure out whats wrong with him. He’s been in for 2 days, and he’s declining. This guy is dying fast. Then a doctor (Let’s call him Dr. Television) goes, “Oh my God! I just figured it out! He has the same symptoms as such and such, so on and so forth, from House the other day!”

5) Why are there no Pocky vendors at horror conventions?

You know I think this is the one thing missing that could quite possibly set the difference between an awesome convention and a truely epic convention. If you’ve never had Pocky, you haven’t lived! It’s the greatest treat ever invented. Almost like the recipe was created by God him/herself and delivered to this life to give all a true taste of heaven. Maybe I’m over exaggerating a bit, but they are really good. And there are literally hundred of different types. All kinds of flavors and styles. The only thing that could top it would be having Ramune with it! And before you all start saying, “But Malice, those belong at anime conventions!?” Well I say fuck you in your conservative, right-wing ass! I want my Pocky and Ramune! Something that delicious should not be limited to just anime conventions. I mean, are you really going to let the anime conventions have ALL the fun!

Well that’s all I really have to ponder about for now. Not really sure what you should be taking from all of this, but then again you don’t either so I suppose we are even.

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  August 9, 2010 | Categories: Ramblings of a Mad Man | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Psychotik Playlist of the Week 08/08/2010

So another week has gone by, and here it is, The Psychotik Playlist of the Week! So this week I thought maybe I would give everyone a taste of country. OK so the radio has been on a country channel at work and that’s all I had in my head. doesn’t hurt to add a little diversity to the mix. I’m sure you will all love it. Give a listen, and I hope your Monday goes well because of it….

So I realize that this isn’t the full song to Free Bird. But the song is sooooo long, and this is the PERFECT use I’ve ever seen for this song.

sadistically Yours,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  August 8, 2010 | Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Seras “Super Spider Slayer” Psychotik

I owe this to my woman. Some may not know this, but I’m a severe arachnophobia. I can’t handle the things! Just something about them, I don’t know. I thought long and hard about posting this story. However, I decided that I’m OK with admitting my phobia, and I’m OK with admitting what an awesome wife I have!

So this is what happened. We were heading out to run some errands yesterday. Seras and the baby head down stairs first oblivious to the thing that lurked less than a foot from where they passed. I came down after them and what did I see down that stairwell? A huge wolf spider hiding in the corner. It froze me! I couldn’t move any further! So I called to Seras down stairs. She put the baby in the car, then came to talk me down. This is the first time a reaction this strong has ever happened. I came down the stairs, slowly as not to get it to do that sick scudding thing they do. Every step I took though, I came closer to a full on panic attack! I might also want to mention she told me there was another spider around the corner on the wall. This is the one she thought I saw. Boy was she shocked to see the over sized eight legged demon in the corner. She told me about the little one, but I don’t think it registered she meant the same type. So I stuck to the wall and made it down the stairs. She grabbed my arm, and I went to round the corner, only to face down another one legs spread wide. I think it was instinct that took over. I grabbed hold of her arm and ran down the stairs with her attached. I know how terrified I am of them, and I’m not about to leave anyone while I run away. That being said, it took the next half hour for me to calm down from the attack. During this time, Seras told me she had no problem killing them. She wasn’t about to let them terrify me, and she didn’t want to risk one of them getting ahold of the baby (No need to have two  arachnophobics running around). So we go do our thing, get our groceries, and a very large can of Black Flag. The next part of the story is the epic battle of how Seras has earned her title.

When we get back, Seras says she is going to go up stairs and scope it out. She takes her trusty can of spider death and enters the arena. The big one, we will call this one The Boss, was near the arch of the stairwell out of reach. His lack was busy guarding the steps on the second set of stairs. Seras quickly drew her weapon and fired! She hit it so hard there was puddles of the stuff on the steps!! Next came the Boss Battle. She went up to the apartment to get a broom. The plan was to coax it down the wall, so she get blast it. The Boss wasn’t going down without a fight. She threw the broom at it a couple of times, and all it did was run in circles. I by this time, was brave enough to help get the broom back up to her. The last time she tossed the broom, it hit next to it. Well at the same rate the broom fell, it ran down the wall. Right as I went to pick up the broom, Seras yelled, “Baby, Run!!” As I looked up, it rounded the corner and I had a Close Encounter of the Eight-Legged Kind! I swear I could count the eyes. What did I do? Well I did what she asked, I ran! Not wanting to be ambushed she asked me if it was still on the wall outside. I looked and saw nothing. The only thing I could guess is it ran into the mail drop (Boy would the mail man have had a surprise). With the coast clear, she proceeded down the steps. It was an ambush! The Boss ran at her to make one last stand! She drew her weapon and fired! He kept coming!! Around this time, the neighbor came from his apartment to see what was wrong. He ran up the stairs and offered the assist. The Boss was defeated. All was well in the world. We brought everything upstairs, and calmed down.

What did I learn from this experience? Two things: 1) Seras is the best wife an arachnophobic could ask for 2) The reason giant-ass spiders exist, is to remind even the biggest, toughest, strongest manly man out there, at heart, your still a prepubescent 13-year-old girl!

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

Posted by  |  August 4, 2010 | Categories: Ramblings of a Mad Man | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started