December 25th, 2013 3:05am Los Angeles, CA
A path of destruction lay in Santa’s wake. It From New York all the way to LA. The city of Lost Angels lay right in his sights. All of the naughtiest of cities lay in complete destruction and this was going to mark his last stop on the North American leg of this tour. The military had tried to stop him many times, but found their own tech useless against this master tinkerer. “These naughty boys and girls think they can stop me? Ha! Forget a lump of coal…you’re all getting a lump of lead!” bellowed Clause.
As he draw closer, he could see the army getting ready to make a last stand as well. They surrounded the city with all they had. They would protect LA at all costs…too bad they wouldn’t be able to pay that cost. They centered all of their weapons on him and he on them. It wouldn’t be long before all hell would break loose. Both sides prepare to lay waste to one another, when out of no where…CRASH! A second sleigh slammed right into Santa’s. Santa grabbed his controls and straightened himself out. As he did this, the other sleigh come about. It was lead by three reindeer and one had a red nose. It was in shambles and covered in rust and scratched all to hell. The driver was head to toe in fur with two foot horns atop his head. With a snarl and a growl he reveal his sharp yellow teeth. It was the Krampus here to save the day.
“Krampus!? What are you doing here!?” asked a confused Saint Nick.
“What the Hell do you think you are doing Kris? This is a mess! Have you lost your damn mind or something?” yelled the beastly demon.
“Lost my mind? Krampus, you should understand how I feel. I didn’t understand you for years…now I do! The naughty deserve to be punished! Coal isn’t going to do it. The naughty list should be purged. That’s the only way.” yelled Santa
“Punished? How is this punishment? This is out right Genocide Kringle! No one can learn a lesson if there is no one left,” pleaded the beast. “You have to stop this Santa. I’m only going to warn you this once. Turn your self around and we will go talk this out.”
“I’m not going to listen to you! You’re just mad you never thought of this. Some enforcer you are. You stopped having my back years ago Kramp. Maybe if you would have stuck with it, things wouldn’t be as bad as they are!” Santa turned his eyes to the Hollywood sign. “This town will turn to ash, and you are going to watch it.
Krampus looked at his old partner in disgust. “You want me to take up my old mantle huh? Well what better time to start than now. Let’s do this then.”
“Now that’s what I’m talking about! Let’s make them pay Krampy!” Santa said while drawing a saber and pointing toward the city. Just as he was about to open fire though, a mass of rusty metal chains wrap round him and the sleigh. Clause spun around in shock.
“I think you mistook me. You want me to enforce the naughty list? Hell here you go! You’re at the top of the list. As bad as you’ve been…a trip to hell ought to do you some good.” With that, Krampus let out a roar. A hole opened up in the Earth and fire spewed forth. “This is for your own good Santa! Merry Christmas to all and to all a better night. Krampus flew down into the hole, and as quick as it appeared it was gone again. The military couldn’t believe what they saw. In fact no one could. Today would be the day….the day that the Krampus saved Christmas.
I would just like to take a little time out of the day to wish all of my Freaky Darlings a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday. Whether you belive in Jesus, Santa, Cthulhu, or The Flying Spaghetti Monster…I do hope you are having a most excellent day! So far the day is well. The little one was spoiled by Seras and Myself as well as Santa….as per usual! lol I’m currently enjoying the Magic that is the Roku 2 XS. I’m in love with this little box! Wish I was done with Arkham Asylum because I now have Arkham City. hoping to enjoy some dinner with the family a little later.
As far as content goes for after the Holidays, I have some pretty good stuff planned for you all. I have interviews coming up that I know you all will enjoy! So everybody stretch out, enjoy your loot, veg out, get fat, and be merry! It’s Christmas for crying out loud!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ENCYCLOPEDIA PSYCHOTIKA!!!
Ho Ho Ho! And Merrrry Christmas, Freaky Darlings!! Another year has come and is now drawing to a close. What kind of Psychotik Christmas would it be without something about the Krampus. This little masterpiece has been stuck in my head for quite some time. I do hope you all enjoy my revisioning of the Christmas Classic, Twas’ the Night Before Christmas.
Twas’ The Night of the Krampus
Twas the Night of the Krampus, when all through the house
Rang the sounds of screams, From a little boy named Klaus.
The little brat was staying up in a stubborn dare,
Telling his parents St. Nick wouldn’t care.
The child was tearing everything asunder,
Not realizing the follies of his foolish blunder.
With Mom pulling her hair out and Dad’s head in his lap,
Just wishing this little demon would just cut his crap.
When all of a sudden we heard a devilish laughter,
The red-headed child ran out the door to see what was the matter.
Out the door he flew fast as The Flash,
Sending porcelain collectables down with a crash!
The door off its hinges sitting in the snow,
You think he would have slipped, but his legs just said no.
When, just then he noticed to his ultimate shock,
8 Hellish horses pulling a disheveled wooden box.
With a big hairy driver brandishing chains and a stick,
He knew in a moment this wasn’t St Nick.
Faster than bat’s from Hell, his coarse voice came,
And he snarled, and snorted, and yelled at them by name!
“Now Slasher! now, Masher! now, Pounder and Nixon!
On, Vomit! On, Stupid! On Dahmer and Manson!
Storm the Porch! And take down a wall!
Now Hurry Quick! Run away! Run away all!”
Coming in fast and wreckless as could be,
They caused such a mess you could hardly see.
At the last second he pulled up landing rough on the roof,
Falling out of the “sleigh” he landed with a Oof!.”
Cursing and Angry he jumped up and down,
“Are you trying to kill me you great stupid clowns!!”
The little boy came running and fell to the ground,
Down the chimney Krampus came with a terrible sound.
He was covered in grey fur, from his head to his hoofed foot,
On his head long horns all dirty and covered in soot.
A bag full of chains he had flung from his back,
A toothy grin of terror split his lips and he smelled like a yak!
His eyes dark pits… He looked very scary!
His skin was like leather, he was not here to make merry!
His stroked on his club ready to go,
This little shrimp would pay, he didn’t even know.
Drawing back…he stopped, there was something to say,
“Why have you been a little shit all year and all day?”
The Boy couldn’t answer, He choked up with fright!
The Krampus just smiled he was filled with delight!
“Most people don’t know of me, but you’ll soon find out…”
The beast moved and made the little spoiled boy shout!
With a hock of loogie, and a twist of his head,
The little snot knew not to be happy but filled with dread.
Not another word was spoken, he went straight to his work,
Stuffing the boy in his bag, Krampus gave the parents a smirk.
He then shoved a finger deep in his nose,
With a passing of gas, up the chimney he rose!
Jumping in the sleigh, he gave the commanding sound,
Away the fleet flew burying deep ground.
With a loud laugh, just before leaving sight he did yell,
“Have a Horrid Christmas, cause’ I’m dragging you to Hell!”
So how was that? Guess that little shit will learn to be a little better to Mommy and Daddy. I do hope the lot of you are having a Happy Holiday and a good time with what ever your plans may be. Do make sure you stop by here a little more often, as I have a few articles coming up you won’t want to mix. ALSO!!! Encyclopedia Psychotika will be at Universal Studios Orlando on the 22nd of this month tp bid farewell to JAWS!!! What a sad day it shall be…
Until Next Time, Mt Freaky Darlings,
P.S If you need to know a little more about The Krampus…check out this old link…https://malicepsychotik.wordpress.com/2010/12/24/a-holiday-message-from-malice-psychotik/