The last few nights had Santa busy at work in the shop. Wit all of the toys finished and off to be wrapped, he was able to have the workshop all to himself. This gave him time for his new project. He had some things to fabricate and needed to make some upgrades to the sled. He had been in there the whole time with no sleep and hardly any food. He was finishing the touches on an improvement to the sleigh, when a knock came at the door.
The knock belonged to no other than Archie Cobblebox. ” Doors open!” He bellowed
“Santa? What are you doing out here in the workshop? I would have thought you would be getting some rest for later tonight?” asked the elf.
“Well, I just have some final arrangements I need to make. Some work needs done to the sled, and I have some last-minute gifts to make. Gifts for all of you,” said Clause with a deadpan voice. Something was very wrong with the holiday icon.
Archie looked at him sideways as he looked around the room. Everything was covered except for what Clause tinkering with on the sleigh. None of the shapes looked like gifts he had ever seen though. The smells didn’t match up either. Instead of warmth and fresh-cut wood…maybe a little stuffing and fresh fabric. All he could make out was steel, oil, and some other thing he wasn’t very familiar with. “Santa you know you didn’t have to make us any gifts. Why the new workshop was good enough. You made life so much easier with that.”
“Oh, I did huh? It is a marvel that machine. Makes anything as long as you have the specifications. Anything your heart desires…” he trailed off as he stared into his welding light. The light reflecting in his goggles.
The little helper was getting nervous at this point as he looked around the room. Curiously he tried to make out what St. Nick was welding to the side of the sleigh. He just couldn’t make it out. It almost looked like a cylinder with eight tubes positioned in it and was attached to a gear assembly. If only he could get a closer look. “Santa is there anything I can give you a hand with? Maybe make your night end faster so you can get some rest?”
He looked up from what he was doing. He just sat there staring at the elf for what seemed like an eternity. Then he spoke, “Sure thing!” He had a smile across his face. For the first time in a month he was actually smiling. Archie smiled with delight. “Hand me that wrench over there on the bench.” As Archie turned his back, Santa reached into the sleigh to the control assembly. with the flick of a switch, his device began to whir and spin. A laser dot lit up and he aimed it on the back of the elf. “You can help me calibrate this…” With the pull of a trigger…the elf was no more. The old man turned his head to the side. “Almost there.” He continued his work through the night.
A few days have passed since Santa had completed the Reindeer maintainer. He sat alone in a small work shop considering the last couple of days. Mrs. Clause had really laid into him a couple of nights ago. She was angry he had spent so little time with her. It had to be hard to be the wife of a holiday icon. A time when everyone should be with one another, and her own husband could not be around her. She told him that the last couple of days had been the last straw. If he wanted to be around his tinkerings so much he could go live outside in one of the workshops with them. So for the last few days he try to absorb in his work. The elves that now had a machine to make all of the complicated toys had to have him run it. Turns out they weren’t very good at using it. Which worked out nicely. it gave the old man something else to focus on.
As busy as he kept though making things to fill others with joy, that Christmas cheer had been sucked straight out of him. He sat in his workshop with a small fire going, on his second bottle of Nog. Nobody cared what he wanted. Nobody cared if he was happy. All everyone wanted was what THEY wanted. What THEY needed, or for that matter thought they needed. This was his holiday and he was sick of it. Maybe it was the Nog, but he was sickened by it. Such Greed! A holiday that was once meant for good will and joy….was now consumed. Taken over by Avarice. From Black Friday until Christmas was nothing but want…want…WANT. Day in and day out and he was sickened to the core.
Is this all I exist for? To fuel other people’s wants? What about what I want? Will anyone ever care about that? Ah Fuck it! Let’s just get through that dam night. A night filled with dumping off toys and gifts to those that don’t deserve a piece of reindeer shit. Somebody ought to give them what they really deserve…Someone should give them ALL what they really deserve.
As he thought this he polished off another bottle and passed out. That night he would dream. Not of toys and cheer….but of fire and hate.
So I’m usually not one to post depressing news, but I need to post about this because I am pretty bummed. Apparently as of Yesterday, Joey Jordison is no longer with Slipknot. The band posted on their page Slipknot1.com that he would not longer be with the band. Personal reasons is all I’ve heard. But just…damn. Slipknot without Paul AND Joey? I don’t know…most of the songs were written by those two. Slipknot has just always been a large part of my life. It was going to be hard enough without Paul. But now Joey too? Is this the beginning of the end? I hope not!
By the way, I’ve also heard that there was another shooting in Colorado. A. What is up with teens in Colorado B. When are we going to do something to help stop this shit? Seriously….I’m going to go crawl under a rock….
After days of working night and day, in a way only THE Santa Clause could do, a machine was built to help with the elves grievance. A massive machine that took up a hole work shop by itself. A small group of five could operate this hulking giant. Santa had been tinkering with the idea for years, but never went a head with it. There was just no time. This was a machine capable of making anything. All you needed to do was input how to make it, and it would build it flawlessly. This would help with all of the more complex things that the elves had complained about. Originally he didn’t want to make this contraption for fear of the elves thinking they were to be replaced. But if this is what they want.
The old man was so tired after working on his invention. He was just about to stroll off to bed, when his Reindeer keeper spotted him. “Santa! Oh Santa! Can I speak with you a moment…” the little elf called. Oscar Finchwald was his name. He had taken care of the Reindeer for years now. As he ran up, he gasped for breath. “I have a question to ask sir!”
“What is it Oscar? What is the matter?” asked a sleepy St. Nick.
“I noticed you finished the machine for the worker elves…and well…I was wondering. Do you think you could build something for me too?”
Santa’s eyes widened, “What is it that you need Oscar?”
“Something to help me groom and wash the reindeer would be nice,” smiled the portly elf “It’s just I’m not getting any younger and these reindeer…They are getting so hard to take care of. All I need is something that maybe they could be ran through that would help them get nice and groomed on a regular basis.”
Santa just stood there in disbelief. These demands were getting out of hand. “And when do you think you would need this by Oscar?”
“Oh maybe in the next couple of days”
“Oscar, I just finished the new workshop for the work elves. Do you really need it right now? Can’t you wait a few more days?” asked Santa.
The little elf’s face pursed and his eyes narrowed. “So I guess the work elves are more important than me huh? Probably because there are more of them. Even though I’ve taken care of those filthy beasts for years without complaining. I get it, you care more about them than me. That is fine! Just fine…” he looked both ways then back up. “How about while you wait to make my machine…I take some days off huh? You can take care of them right? Or maybe one of the other elves.”
The red clad legend rubbed his eyes and sighed hard. “No…no we can’t have that…If you need this thing right away. I think I can manage. I did get the other elves device working quickly, it’s only fair I do the same for you.” As he spoke the little fat elf strode off with a grin. Santa just stand there…thinking of all the work he would have to do. Mrs. Clause would not be happy with this at all. She was already angry with him for not spending enough time at home. This wouldn’t sit well either. Santa thought to himself…If this doesn’t stop I’m going to break. All of these people…all of them and their fucking demands. Does anyone ever thing of me? Does anyone ever care what I need or want?
I had something planned to post today, but I’ve been thinking a lot about things and have decided to give you all some heart-felt advice. To many times in life you are faced with decisions. Usually a choice has to be made between what will make you happy and what will make others happy. Some are simple…paying bills…going to work…etc. But some are very difficult because you end up weighing to many factors in. What will my friends think? What will my family think? Will society still accept me if I do this? So many different factors but never once factoring in the one thing that matters most…What do you want? It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. It doesn’t matter what your parents think. What matters is this…Is your choice going to harm anyone? Physically or Mentally? (And I don’t mean can they accept it, I mean does it REALLY harm them.) Is this going to hurt you? Does this make you happy? If your answer is No, No, Yes…congrats! You should know what you are going to do! Do what makes you happy…fuck the haters! Make yourself happy…because life is too short to worry about what others think.
Take this to your hearts Darlings! I will be back tomorrow with some more Madness!
Hey there Darlings! In the interest of it being the holiday season I want to give you all something…the gift of music! The gift of really good music! I’ve been meaning to do this for a while. There is a band out there that is very special to me. The horrible thing? They aren’t around anymore. They are a local band that I pretty well fell head over heels for hafter seeing them at the Jagermeister Music Show in 2007. Their name? Indorphine. This band is one of the best things that disappeared. I have never been able to track down a reason why they broke up. They have an album out there that you can track down. “Glowsticks of Clubbing Baby Seals.” Possibly one of the best albums I’ve ever heard and it comes from a local band. I only ever had the pleasure of seeing them once. Supposedly, they had a reunion show a little while back, and there was talk of getting back together. Maybe me spreading the word can help spread some demand and they will rise from the ashes. Check out some of their songs below!
A careful search of the internet will allow you to find their album “Glowsticks for Clubbing Baby Seals.” Here is a link to Amazon where they have at least one copy on sale. Click this link now!
I wish i had the opportunity to tell this band how much they have touched this Psychotik’s life. The whole CD is wonderful. Anytime I’ve ever been down or just needed a lift…or just to blow off some steam. I put their stuff on and rock out hard. Indorphine…where ever you are…the music world needs you sirs!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Malice Psychotik
Hey there Darlings! This article was supposed to be posted yesterday. For what ever reason I was having laptop issues and couldn’t get it to do anything (I need a new one for sure!) Movies play a big roll in my life…and at every holiday! Allow for me to share with you…a list of films that will make your holiday…(whatever it may be)…a great one!
National Lampoon’s Christmas VacationA must for everyone to see. If you haven’t seen it, you go somewhere and pick that shit up and watch it! The movie captures what everyone feels around the holidays. The Griswalds display for us (in every film) how awkward family time is around the holidays. Dreaded In-laws, decorating the house, shopping, that one relative that shows up uninvited…the list goes on. This is the perfect holiday comedy to kick off the season.
The Nightmare Before ChristmasPracticly a required experiance, there is no better multi-holiday movie to exist. Tim Burton lays out what Christmas would be like if every goth kid in the world had their way! If you’ve not seen this, it’s time. The movie has been around 20 years. It’s about time…
A Christmas StoryEven more so than the previous mentioned, I find it hard to believe anyone has missed this movie. This was Christmas Vacation…before it was Christmas Vacation. A movie that tells a tale of Christmas back in a simple time. Come on people TNT does nothing but show this 24/7 at times (is TNT still around?) You have no excuses…
Christmas Carol So many of these movies exist. A lot of them are good…my favorite is the one with Jim Carrey. This 3D extravaganza came out a few years ago and amazed me to no end. You will not be disappointed…
ElfWill Farrel as a giant elf…How could you go wrong? Pick up this movie and be transported to a world of laughter. Maybe I’m over stating this a bit…but it’s still pretty funny and well worth the look if you haven’t checked it out.
ScroogedBill Murry movies are always good. And “A Christmas Carol”is a freaking classic. What happens when the two meet? Legen- wait for it- Dary!
Jingle All the WayAnother one of those movies that addresses problems we all relate to. This one just so happens to deal with finding that “Hot Item” that every kid wants and is going to feel like a loser without. What lengths will the “Ahnold” go to to get this toy for his son? Pretty effing far!
Jack FrostThis can work both ways. Either you can watch the horror flick with the murderous psycho snowman. Or the feel good family flick with Michael Keaton. Either way, you are in for a treat. Just don’t mix the two up with the kiddlets eh?
Doctor Who Christmas EpisodesEvery good little Whovian down in Whoville waits for these. A Doctor Who Christmas special is always magical…or in some cases sad. For those of you that loved Matt Smith, his version of the Doctor will leave us this Christmas…are you all ready? Yeah didn’t think so.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas Another one that works on more than one level. Either you watch the original Cartoon or you watch the one with Jim Carrey….Either one is a great…Either one will complete your holiday!
With the list went over and preparations started, new problems began to arise by the hour. The days of wooden toys and simple plastic toys had been gone for ages. Now at the Pole they needed to keep up with all sorts of new technology and computers to keep all the boys and girls of the world satisfied. All it ever took was a bad piece of equipment and a days production could be lost. This also brought the moral of the elves down to all time lows. The did like to tinker, but circuit boards and computer chips were utter nonsense!
Santa was taking a bit of time to tinker in his own personal workshop. An excellent craftsmen, Santa could make anything out of the smallest of things….and they would do amazing things too. But, they were no iPhone or any of the new game systems he had just figured out how to make a week ago. So he took some time each day to just work on some things and calm his mind. He was just in the middle of completing a wonderful flying train when a knock came at the door. It was his head foreman elf, Maxwell Tinkerbe.
“Santa I need to speak with you a second if you don’t mind…” said the elf.
“Sure thing Maxwell, whats on your mind.” Santa said as he walked to sit down at his desk.
The elf made his way to a seat in front of the desk and sat. He cleared his throat and spoke clearly, “Santa, we have some complaints amongst the other elves. Now I know we are well into the thick of things, and you are a busy man, but we feel some things do need to be addressed.”
A look of confusion spread across his ancient face, “Really? What sort of things are going on? What seems to be the trouble?”
“Well, you see Santa…everyone is fed up with making these computers and game systems. Why can’t we go back to making simple toys? Why do we bend our will to the will of these spoiled kids? Shouldn’t they be happy they receive anything at all?” The elf looked down nervously when he finished.
Santa’s eyes widened. He had similar thoughts. but he didn’t realize the elves felt that way as well. “Do all of the other elves feel this way Maxwell?” he said shocked.
“Yes. Yes we do. We’ve felt this way for some time now, but it wasn’t until the loss of 20 elves last week that we decided enough was enough. These new electronic toys are just not meant for us to make!” The passion in his voice was rising as he got more excited. “We are loosing our friends and family trying to please these greedy children that shouldn’t even be on the Nice list! It has to stop!”
Santa was absolutely aghast. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “Maxwell, I understand your feelings I do. I took the loss of those elves as hard as you all. But we have to keep up with the times. If not then the kids won’t believe…and if they don’t believe…”
“We don’t care anymore!!” shouted the little creature. “We don’t care. And quite frankly, we are going to walk out if things don’t change. Let that sink in…” As he spoke he stormed out of the office.
Santa just sat there is disbelief. A walk out? he thought. What am I going to do now? I can’t have a walk out…What will the children think. All this negativity can’t end well…
Twenty Five days out from Christmas and it was time for Santa to begin checking his list for the second time. He had been in his study all day, and the stress of the day was starting to take its toll on him. One of the elves entered the room with a glass of hot cocoa and a small dinner for the weathered Christmas Icon. For some time now he had been troubled by his work. Things weren’t like they were in the beginning. Children had changed so much, he had to modify what was considered Naughty or Nice. “I just don’t understand children these days at all. Back in the beginning it was pretty cut and dry who belonged on what list,” said St. Nick with a sigh. “Let’s face it though, if I didn’t grow with the times though, we would be out of the job. We can’t have that can we?” He looked over at the elf as he lay his tray on a side table. The elf only turn around and shrug his shoulders. Who was he to have an opinion?
Santa took his glasses off to rub his eyes a bit. “Well, I’d better go ahead and eat my supper. I still have a long way to go on this list. Have to be done by the third to get everything packed and settled by Christmas.” He turned away from his work to look at his meager meal. “You would think that I of all people could get a decent meal…” he grumbled. Mr.s Clause apparently was back on her diet kick from a few years earlier. Still though he carried on. This was an arduous task and he needed his strength. Just one thought lingered on his mind while he finished his meal…Is all of this really worth it? Is my heart still in it?
Happy Halloween Darlings! Hope your day is going to be filled with awesome! I have one last thing to give you before October ends. None other than and interview with Thomas Churchill! It’s always a good thing when Church is here! So let’s see whats new with our good buddy eh?…
Happy Halloween from Malice and Thomas Churchill
Malice Psychotik: So you’ve been working on Lazarus now for a while, where are you with this film? How far out till we see it?
Thomas Churchill: Does it seem like that…Oh because it’s in Black & White… Ha Ha! It has been a very busy year with Lazarus…Since production back in March and now we are a few weeks away from finishing up the post production process of the film … I am feeling the love by the genera fans, as well as numerous emails from distributors…Looking to get their hands on him. This is such a great response to this little film…. Lazarus looks to be ready for the world sometime next year. Totally up to the distributor. I can not wait for the world to be introduced to him.
Malice: Can you tell my readers a bit about it?
Church: Sure can… After doing EMERGING PAST (which a new version, new look… Reboot/Director’s Cut will be released once Lazarus is released), producing and co-starring in Mr. Hush, …SyFy’s “Monster Man” show… I so wanted to do something completely different. Something just retro and cool. A ZOMBIE film that would raise the bar a bit…Lazarus is indeed a ZOMBIE flick. But, a very different type of flick! It takes place during 1957 in Hollywood CA. A telegram arrives at the office of George A. Lazarus, an Insurance Investigator to investigate a suspicious claim that was just put in by Deadly Sin Cigarette Company. Lazarus begins to schedule routine interviews with the twelve employees that are named on this claim. He learns that they all had just gotten fired for being sick at the job. …He never makes it back to the office. What seemed to be a normal fraud Investigation case … may have turned out to be the beginning of the end for the human race. His fiancée Bethany begins to worry as she realizes that he hasn’t been back at the office since early that morning when she last saw him. Not the behavior from a man who lives by daily routine. She decides to follow his path in hopes to locate him. Nothing can prepare her for what she is about to witness in this creepy horrific tale . Comparable Films: “Zombie themed films”,” “Outbreak”, and “ALL things HITCHCOCK”
LAZARUS trailers
Trailer # 1-
Trailer # 2-
Malice: One thing that stands out to me more than anything about this film, is already from things I’ve read, small trailers seen, photos, this doesn’t seem to be your average run of the mill Zombie movie. What inspired you for the story?
Church: Not doing more of the same was actually the inspiration for me… My business & producing partner David M. Parks had suggested for us to do a Zombie film. I answered him by stating I would contribute to the genera …if I have something different to say…Like, What if we told the beginning of the end type of story. I went on with my pitch to him… What if it was a period piece, shot very retro- film noir styled, A old school murder mystery…Very Hitchcock. But staying true to the ZOMBIE fans. What if the story is a loose prequel to the Grand Daddy of all Zombie films… a prequel to Night of The Living Dead. Telling a new story…about the beginning kind of gave us room to lay down new rules…sort of a new canvas to paint on.
Malice: You’re also working as a co-host on Dino’s Prime Cuts and you have your own Allradio X. What got you into Radio?
Church: Yes, I owe that to a good friend and co-producer of some radio shows, Ms. Sherri Emily. She was the one who connected me back to radio. Sherri had made an introduction to her friend Christopher Corridino aka “Dino” of Dino’s Prime Cuts. He was looking for a co-host for his new show. We spoke a bit and vibed a little on the phone, he then offered me the co-host gig. His show airs Wednesday nights… it is dedicated to his band Carnival of Souls, as well as all musicians & upcoming unsigned bands that need that hand in getting their music played on the radio. Besides being his co-host, I do a small segment on his show called, Church’s Hollywood Moments where I preach the word of film and have some cool guests. Sherri knew that one of my goals was someday to have my own show. …Next thing I know I was in discussions with AllradioX. What stood out to me about AllradioX is that they are indeed a new station…coming in on the ground floor with a new team…and they have balls with their focus! I clearly wanted in. I accepted the terms and now have my own show on their station.
Malice: What sort of things do you talk about between the two shows?
Church: My show, Church’s Hollywood Moments, is an entertaining talk show. With a kick. …I brought back to the air Dr Drew Albright who..at one point…her and I used to be a co-hosts on a former radio show that we were both involved in. Sherri Emily is now also added to the mix as one of my producers. I feel the show/people …is a good blend for a cool new show. The show is completely dedicated to the world of Independent / Hollywood film making. We interview guests, and help that filmmaker out there that is need of that motivational push! The what to do and what not to do is getting into the business. The show is a spin-off from my 15 min segment spot on Dino’s show but now longer. The show airs every Tuesday night 8pm EST/ 5pm PST on AllradioX.com. Also, I co-host along with Zack Daggy & Alan Sale for a Horror review show called The Midnight Meat Locker that aires Sunday nights at 10pm EST / 7pm PST also on AllradioX.
Malice: What was this whole business with SyFy “Monsterman”. Were they really doing the makeup for Hollow Pointe? What ever happened to that little gem?
Church: You say… Ah, yes the little show called “Monster Man” that aired on the SyFy network. That show was so fun and cool to do. It’s not every day an indie filmmaker crosses over to a huge network show. Monster Man I hear is now airing in South America. I also heard episode #2…my episode …The Forbidden Werewolf was one of the highest rated episodes out of that series. That’s pretty cool. I can not wait for more Monster Man.
I am friends with Roy Knryim and of course Cleve Hall and family. I had a meeting with Roy about the design for the werewolf…We wanted to put together a trailer for Hallow Pointe to create the buzz for the project. Roy, and some Monster Man Executives had asked me if they can do this with me for their show. The building of the wolf and the shoot. I immediately thought it would be fun…extra PR coverage for a little Indie film that will need the to get extra hype just to compete with the BIG dogs…The Studios. To plan something big…sometimes good projects take a little bit to get to that point of shooting. So, it’s coming. To answer your other question…Yes, the team will be doing the FX work on Hallow Pointe. Joe Knetter wrote a great script and what we are planning to do with it is going to raise the bar with a creature feature. We are still working on that…putting the right pieces together to build the perfect “wolf” film. To me…this film will be an event rather than just a little horror film.
Malice: You going to have any further dealings with the show?
Church: All depends if they invite me back to play again. Sure, I would love to. Had a ball on that show. It was like 8-10 days…just so much fun.
Malice: Out-of-Hat Question (From Seras) With the amount of poking you do on a daily basis on Facebook…how do your get your various jobs done?
Church: LOL. That is to funny. I poke probably as much as I get poked. It’s crazy… Well besides being connected from the laptop…the app is also on my phone. So, yeah it makes it a bit easier to fight in the poking war. LOL.
Malice: Out-of-Hat Question What is your opinion on “Brad Pitt Zombie Movie” aka “World War Z” ?
Church: I had watched it in the theater…thought it was entertaining. It was to safe for a ZOMBIE flick. No blood. No gore. Where was the horror? Suspenseful…sure. But then again…it was a PG 13 as well as being a studio film…so it made bank. I hear the BluRay has a version of havoc. Blood and gore are in the film. I will have to check it out.
Malice: Out-of-Hat Question One of my favorite subjects in writing is the Seven Deadly Sins. Love to put them in things…Ever thought about a film?
Church: Sure, would love that. The film Se7en touched in so beautifully with the concept. Amazing film. Dark, edgy, suspenseful. Ha! , and another Brad Pitt film…what are you secretly revealing to me …that you are a HUGE Pitt fan? Honestly, I think my favorite Brad Pitt performance was in the film 12 Monkeys. Brilliant.
Editors Note: I am not a Brad Pitt Fan…I just so happen to like Interview with the Vampire, Se7en, Inglorious Bastards, Meet Joe Black, and MegaMind…it’s a conspiracy I tell you…terrorists…
If people want to check me or my upcoming projects out further they can go to my home base- Church Hill Productions.com ( http://www.churchhillproductions.com ) from there they can navigate to any site I am involved in. Thanks again. Its always an honor to speak with you… Stay Cool. BOOYA!
BOOYA INDEED!! I’ll try and keep you updates as more info comes available for Lazarus. I’m very excited for this project. So nice to see a good zombie movie again. Well I’m off for Halloween festivities. All of you enjoy yourselves and be safe. I want to see you back in November!
Encyclopedia Psychotika 