‘Ello poppits! Bartleby here!
Well, according to the schedule, we’re supposed to give you some news! I wasn’t really sure what to tell you all. You see, we only really hang around the grounds and the crypt. If Master Malice don’t take us, we don’t really go. So….we kind of did a no no and took out the Mad Tea Party…The Psychotik Crews ship.
You really think we should ave’ posted that Bartleby? I mean if the boss finds out…And what did taking the ship ave’ ta do with anything anyway?
Baxter, boss probably already knows….I dread seeing his grin pop up anytime…maybe he’ll be too busy. Besides do you really need a reason to take a huge air ship out? Let’s just do a top notch job and maybe he won’t lash us that bad eh?
Sure thing…but what do humans like to hear about?
I think the boss tends to talk about upcoming movies right? Well, what do you see in the papers we picked up?
Well…let’s see…crap…crap…crap….Oh hey Jurassic Park 3D comes out this Friday. In IMAX 3d to boot. Bartleby we need to see if we can catch it mate. I love that movie. Wicked awesome to see it in 3D…you think the boss will take us?
I think he’s more likely to take us to the actual Jurassic period and leave us there for a week…
Yeah, that sounds more like him to be honest. Oh they also got that new version of the Evil Dead coming out this Friday too. I’m usually not one for remakes, but this one looks a little more on the horror side then the first. Don’t get me wrong, and please don’t stone me for it! I like the first one. Nothing ever beats the original. But I’m curious to see this get a bit more on the horrific side of life. I mean if you ever got a chance to see some of the dimensions that the necronomicon exists on…well you would realize there ain’t nothin’ funny about it!
Those Deadites did taste good though didn’t they?
Right they did mate! Right they did! What else should we talk about?
Hmmm…Can’t talk about Walking Dead…it’s finaled for now. OH…Game of Thrones Third season started Sunday. I don’t watch it but I’ve heard good things. What else in TV….
Theirs that Hannibal show…
Right! Yeah, ave’ you all heard about this? I guess they figure Dexter needs compition and this pony ain’t fully bled dry! Supposed to be real good. Well shall see…that starts this Thursday the 4th on NBC. It’s got that guy that played Morpheus on The Matrix…
Oh, Laurence Fishburne…
Yeah, him! So it can’t be all that bad. For all you sports nuts out there, the final 4 of march madness will be held this Saturday the 6th. Matches will be between Louisville and Wichita St., and Michigan and Syracuse. The thing I’m getting pumped over is Wrestlemania 29 this Sunday. Highlight matches include Ryback vs. Mark Henry, The Sheild vs. Orton, Shaemus, and Big Show, Lesner vs. HHH, The Undertaker vs. CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger, and the main event John Cena vs. The Rock. Can’t wait to see how it all turns out…
You think that’s good enough for the news?
Sure why not? Now that business is over, what do you say we have a little fun?
That’s all for today folks….
Bone-jangling and Rotten Fun,
Bartleby and Baxter
Ello’ there poppits! Yer hosts here, Bartleby and Baxter. According to our notes…we’re supposed to do a movie review. Well, Me and Baxter here don’t watch many movies, but I feel the ones we do are pretty good. Keeping that in mind, I believe we will review for you Silent Hill: Revelations. We will….
But wait a minuet Bartleby, how are we both going to talk bout it? How will they know which is me and which is you?
You stupid git! Malice told us to use the different fonts! He already put it in for us. I’m dark grey and you are light grey!
Oh! I see it now…go on then.
Right, anyway we will look at a few things about the movie. I guess how it looks, story, and…well we will just tell you bout it. Not as good about this as the boss. Let’s just get this started eh?
Psychotik Review: Silent Hill: Revelation
Suppose we should start with the story huh? Well the movie starts about 10 years after the first movie took place. The little girl is all grown and she and her Dad have been on the run from the darkness. Did a fine job of it too until the day of her 18th birthday. Her nightmares become true when her Dad get’s taken, and she has to go looking for him. I don’t want to spoil it anymore…
Bartleby, I think you can tell them a little more than that, mate. They can find out more than that on the movie trailer.
Well smart ass! If you think it needs more, you tell em! Tha way when you spoil the movie, it’s all on you!
OK then. Anyway, after her Dad is taken she figures she has to go to Silent Hill. Well the really cool thing is it comes to her! Yeah, she get’s pretty close to the town and while she is in a hotel room…BOOM! the walls melt away and she’s there! OH and I should also tell you that the people from the town are the ones trying to get her back. Apparently she is some sort of like key to stopping Alyssa….Gives me chills saying her name.
Baxter, master never told them about any of tha, they are going to think your scared of a little thing like a movie.
He never told them?
No he never did and now we got to! Here is the smalls of it…Master Malice is a Cheshire Cat. I’m sure you all know that. What that means is he can pop in and out of realities and time lines. We have actually been to Silent Hill…and let’s say where as the movie and the games are good…seeing it in person is a whole new type of fear. We don’t scare easy and it gave us the willies.
Yeah, the movie does do a good job of relaying those feelings of dread…We will get to that in a bit. Where was I? Oh yeah, so Sharron has to face the worst that Silent Hill has to offer. Now that’s how you describe a movie!
Good! then that means I get to talk about the technicals…
But that’s not fair…
Pipe down! The movie is great visually. I really wish we could have seen it in 3D. Would have been fantastic! Their are all kinds of different monsters old and new. Believe it or not Malcolm McDowell also plays a character. Caught me off guard completely. Wasn’t expecting it. Also didn’t expect Carrie-Anne Moss either, but be damned if she didn’t blow me away too. Liked very much that the movie could have used those names as a crutch and didn’t. Work off yer own steam is what I say! The atmosphere is everything you would expect from something with the Silent Hill name attached. Anyway, very accurate to the real deal, I’m sure you’ll love it like we did.
Can I talk about something now or are you going to keep running your crumpet trap?
Well what the ‘ell do you want to talk about?
You don’t know do you?
I’ll give them the rating! 5 out of 5 Top Hats! Not anything too terribly bad to say about it. Give it a look see, trust us you’ll like it!
That’s all we really got…have to get back to the list of things master Malice left us to do on the grounds. The Malicious Manor needs tending.
Yeah, have a good night folks!
Look under Yer Bed,
Bartleby and Baxter
Well Hello, My Freaky Darlings! How did your Holiday go? Good I hope! Well now that Thanksgiving and Black Friday are out-of-the-way, Malicimo is up for some movie reviews. First up, a new personal favorite, The Amazing Spiderman. I was blown away by this film. If you have been paying attention to previous posts about it, I didn’t have high hopes. In fact, I really thought this one was going to be a real stinker. Rather pleasant surprise, I was very wrong. Such a good job was done with this film. So many good things to say…why waste it all on the intro. Let’s chat movie’s shall we?
A Psychotik Review: The Amazing Spiderman
I think it goes without saying, I need to be a little less wordy with my movie reviews. So hopefully, for the last time, I’ll be changing up the format a bit. That being said, let’s talk plot. The Amazing Spiderman is advertised as the untold story. You have the basic plot of Peter Parker gets powers from a special spider (still genetically engineered, face it we know radioactive won’t do that stuff!) A bad decision by Peter, leads to Uncle Ben’s untimely death. And Parker learns with great power, comes great responsibility. It has all of that…and more! First off, we have a change in love interest. That’s right guys and ghouls, no Mary Jane Watson this time round. This time we have the beautiful Gwen Stacy (Played by the very pretty Emma Stone). I should have probably mentioned first the fact we have a plot with Peters Parents (this is where the untold story comes in.) Apparently, Mr. Parker was one of the best genetic scientists at Oscorp (Yes, Oscorp plays the role it’s supposed to as a big bad mean corporation). Dr. Parker and Dr. Curt Connors were apparently working on splicing animal genes with human genes to cure different ailments. Something happens, and Peters Mom and Dad have to leave in a hurry. Flash forward a couple of years and Peter finds his Dad’s hidden documents. This prompts him to sneak into Oscorp, which prompts him to sneak into a restricted area full of genetically engineered spiders…which get’s him bit (we all know the basics of what happens) Moving on, Peter impresses Dr. Connors by using his Dad’s formula to finish what he’s working on. Of course as you know, comic book rules state something must go wrong….and it does and Connors becomes the lizard. Really, you should watch the movie from here, because I don’t want to ruin it!
What did I like? A lot really! The casting was..eh eh hmm…Amazing. Andrew Garfeild makes a perfect Spiderman. He has the charisma, the attitude, and a certain gusto that makes him leaps, bounds, and web-slings above Tobey Maguire. Emma Stone plays a much better love interest as Gwen Stacey than Kirsten Dunst. Sally Feild as Aunt May is a little awkward at first, but she grows on you. Martain Sheen gives a new level of depth to Uncle Ben. You don’t just get to see good ol’ Uncle Ben, you get to see a more realistic side of him. He’s not this glorified father figure, you see some flaws in him…it’s more grounding. I don’t know where to start with Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors. Couldn’t picture a better person in the role.
The way that they handle Spiderman in general is a big plus. Finally, we have a Spiderman that offers the quips and one liners we all love. That was always something that killed me with the Rami films. The suit takes a little getting used to. I can tell you the one thing that irks me most about it they fix in the game. A simple addition of a red utility belt ties the whole thing together. The thing I love most about the movie that i didn’t think I was going to is the Web-Slingers. Yes, the film actually acknowledges the fact Peter is smart and likes to invent things. Watch in one scene where you can see a door lock invention in his room. Although he doesn’t create the stuff that is turned into web (that’s actually a Oscorp invention. Little pills that contain liquid steel that can be turned into a cable). But, he does create the device that spins it into webbing. Last thing I’ll mention…his super strength. Most people may not realize this, but Spiderman is pretty freakin’ strong…this time it shows and manages to add some rather humorous moments.
Last but not least. The Stan Lee cameo. I’m not going into much detail, all I will tell you is when you see it you will shit awesome bricks…and laugh for days on end. Best one…ever!
As far as things I didn’t like, the list isn’t that long. The only things I can mention is one scene at the end and how the lizard looked. I just feel he could have looked a little better, maybe a little more sinister looking. I mean he was ok, but still out of all of the incarnations of the lizard, he could have been better. The scene at the end I’m talking about is…eh hmm…wait a minuet…
The scene where Gwen Stacy is trying to create the antidote for the Lizard…virus? Either way, she is making the antidote and trying to keep Lizard out of the lab. In a last-ditch effort she pulls the trigger for the Halon Gas System. She then proceeds to run through the gas to the other end of the room…effortlessly…and hide in a closet. Well it was all for not, as the system failed to deter the Connors in any way. My Problem? Halon Gas removes all of the oxygen from the area, in this case the room, to extinguish fires in a lab. It’s really the best way to kill a chemical fire. In no way would she or Connors…two oxygen dependent organisms…be able to survive the room without the aid of a gas mask. Now I could be wrong, it could have been some other system…but to the best of my knowledge, systems like this are always halon…and that is what it looks like. If I’m wrong correct me.
Well, I’m going to stop here with my verdict. The Amazing Spiderman gets5 out 5 Top Hats. I really thought I was going to hate this one. I really thought it was going to stink. Thank you for proving me wrong…an epic Spiderman movie is possible. Hat’s off Darlings…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
P.S Make sure to watch after the credits for a scene you won’t want to miss…could the next film involve my favorite Spiderman villain Green Goblin…only time will tell….