Psychotik Review: Silent Hill Revalation

Ello’ there poppits! Yer hosts here, Bartleby and Baxter. According to our notes…we’re supposed to do a movie review. Well, Me and Baxter here don’t watch many movies, but I feel the ones we do are pretty good. Keeping that in mind, I believe we will review for you Silent Hill: Revelations. We will….

But wait a minuet Bartleby, how are we both going to talk bout it? How will they know which is me and which is you?

You stupid git! Malice told us to use the different fonts! He already put it in for us. I’m dark grey and you are light grey!

Oh! I see it now…go on then.

Right, anyway we will look at a few things about the movie. I guess how it looks, story, and…well we will just tell you bout it. Not as good about this as the boss.  Let’s just get this started eh?

Psychotik Review: Silent Hill: Revelation

Suppose we should start with the story huh? Well the movie starts about 10 years after the first movie took place. The little girl is all grown and she and her Dad have been on the run from the darkness. Did a fine job of it too until the day of her 18th birthday. Her nightmares become true when her Dad get’s taken, and she has to go looking for him. I don’t want to spoil it anymore…

Bartleby, I think you can tell them a little more than that, mate. They can find out more than that on the movie trailer.

Well smart ass! If you think it needs more, you tell em! Tha way when you spoil the movie, it’s all on you!

OK then. Anyway, after her Dad is taken she figures she has to go to Silent Hill. Well the really cool thing is it comes to her! Yeah, she get’s pretty close to the town and while she is in a hotel room…BOOM! the walls melt away and she’s there! OH and I should also tell you that the people from the town are the ones trying to get her back. Apparently she is some sort of like key to stopping Alyssa….Gives me chills saying her name.

Baxter, master never told them about any of tha, they are going to think your scared of a little thing like a movie.

He never told them?

No he never did and now we got to! Here is the smalls of it…Master Malice is a Cheshire Cat. I’m sure you all know that. What that means is he can pop in and out of realities and time lines. We have actually been to Silent Hill…and let’s say where as the movie and the games are good…seeing it in person is a whole new type of fear. We don’t scare easy and it gave us the willies.

Yeah, the movie does do a good job of relaying those feelings of dread…We will get to that in a bit. Where was I? Oh yeah, so Sharron has to face the worst that Silent Hill has to offer. Now that’s how you describe a movie!

Good! then that means I get to talk about the technicals…

But that’s not fair…

Pipe down! The movie is great visually. I really wish we could have seen it in 3D. Would have been fantastic! Their are all kinds of different monsters old and new. Believe it or not Malcolm McDowell also plays a character. Caught me off guard completely. Wasn’t expecting it. Also didn’t expect Carrie-Anne Moss either, but be damned if she didn’t blow me away too. Liked very much that the movie could have used those names as a crutch and didn’t. Work off yer own steam is what I say! The atmosphere is everything you would expect from something with the Silent Hill name attached. Anyway, very accurate to the real deal, I’m sure you’ll love it like we did.

Can I talk about something now or are you going to keep running your crumpet trap?

Well what the ‘ell do you want to talk about?

Um…

You don’t know do you?

I’ll give them the rating! 5 out of 5 Top Hats! Not anything too terribly bad to say about it. Give it a look see, trust us you’ll like it!

That’s all we really got…have to get back to the list of things master Malice left us to do on the grounds. The Malicious Manor needs tending.

Yeah, have a good night folks!

Look under Yer Bed,

Bartleby and Baxter