Hello Freaky Darlings! It’s time for another movie review. I had planned for this to come out a lot sooner. As a matter of fact, I hd a lot of things planned to come out, but this month has not went as planned at all. Plus in the light of Friday’s tragedy, I felt it in bad taste to try to compete with headlines and what you would consider “real” news. On the other hand a good friend and Psychotik Girl that you will all love to meet very soon, Cyanide LaMorte, maybe a little relief from that sort of news isn’t such a bad thing. It’s important to learn the facts, but the media has a tendency to beat you across the face with their dick about it. Keeping that in mind, let’s talk about an awesome president. Let’s review…
Psychotik Review: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
I was soooooo excited when I saw this book was being made into a movie. Such an original concept here. And what a way to get people interested in history. Let me give you a brief summary of the movie. The film (and book) tell you the untold story of Abraham Lincoln. You see history only tells you a small part of the tale. History doesn’t tell you the story of how Honest Abe was a vampire slayer…or the real truth behind the win at Gettysburg. The story is told through the eyes of Abe Lincoln from a young age right up until the night he was shot in Ford’s theater. Lincoln was pretty well thrust into the role of vampire hunter when he witnessed his mother’s death at the hands of one. From that day forward he devoted his life to killing the vampire that took his mother. When he finally is able to kill him, he botches it and is saved by Henry Sturges (A vampire but you don’t know that…yet). Henry takes him under his wing and trains him to become a vampire killing machine. That’s all I’ll leave you with here because you really should watch the movie.
***WARNING! FROM THIS POINT ON THERE WILL BE SPOILERS***
Oh, man where do I start…The visual effects were top-notch. The story is above and beyond fantastic. The casting was really great. Everywhere you look there is something you will love. I’m sure what most vampire fans in general will enjoy is the return to dignity with the vampires. When they are not vamped out, some of them are very gritty seedy looking people. The higher up vampires of course look better dressed but they still retain the creepy air. When they vamp out, your met with a face full of razor-sharp teeth with no remorse. The level of detail in intertwining history with fiction is also a big plus. If you are a history buff you will enjoy yourself. If not, then you will be intrigued enough to look for more info. I think my favorite instance was the explanation of the Civil War and how it was won. In the movie, the reason the South started their winning streak just before Gettysburg was the addition of vampires to the battlefield. To even the score, Abe amasses silver for the Union forces so they are properly armed. Last pro I will offer is the film looks damn pretty. It’s really hard to describe it further than that. The movie just has this quality of keeping you paying attention the whole way through.
I really had to think about this one. My only real big problem…The movie moves to fast in some areas. A few areas in general just feel rushed through and give you the feeling that their was more to be seen here. This may very well be because it’s adapted from a book, even still though it’s kind of obvious and you can’t miss it. I can’t really thing of anything else that bothered me, but then again I’ve not read the book. Maybe once I read it, I’ll go back and visit this again.
Taking all of that into consideration, I give Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 5 out of 5 Top Hats. It really is a good movie, go see it if you haven’t. You will leave impressed. That’s will be all for now Freaky Darlings. Stay tuned for more to come soon. This time I won’t make any promises as to whats next or when…just keep an eye out.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello Freaky Darlings! Good Evening! If you have the fan page liked on Facebook and actually read it, you might recall me saying a little bit ago that the Psychotik Family was going to get a bit larger. Well…let me give you a brief intro to one of the new inmates Lotta Tits…Um Seras is telling my that’s not right…she’s shaking her head…Lotta Stitches! Oh…well yes there are. Anyway, she is a lovely Homunculus that I happened across in Earth Parallel 420…Poor Dear…tragic story…but that will all come in good time Darlings…good time.
Right now I have something a bit different. Or dear Lotta has produced for us a short review on the Blockbuster smash, The Hunger Games. She just loved the absolute shit out of the books and has a pretty good appreciation for the movie. And since things have been quiet around her I figure why not let others have a crack at this, huh? So with no more time to waste…you people get hungry…hungry for….Editor’s Note: There is a good reason she is reviewing this…haven’t seen it…haven’t read it
Psychotik Review: The Hunger Games
Okay, so first off I’d like to just put out there that this is about my 5th time trying to review this movie. Anyone who knows me knows that I am completely obsessed with this series. I’ve read these books about 8 times each and I have SOBBED throughout them all. Seriously, you would think someone just murdered my dog the way I was sobbing over these books.
So it goes without saying that when I try to review the movie, I get so jacked up on details that I completely miss the “review” part and I flat-out give an essay on it. On the plus side, if I had submitted my first draft I’m sure I would make many a high-schooler very happy for doing their book report for them.
But I digress. The Hunger Games is a delightfully violent post-apocalyptic series that centers around an evil government that forces a group of children between the ages of 12 and 18 to fight to the death on a live televised “reality show” if you will, for their amusement. I’m not going to get into how many Hipsters are claiming it’s a plagiarism of Japan’s best seller Battle Royale. There are some similarities, but it IS different. And in a good way. Also there’s a love triangle in there, but it seriously isn’t focused on in a Twilight “Oh I like two boys poor me” kind of way. Katniss would kick Bella’s ass in a heartbeat. And I’d pay to see that.
The movie made its debut at the end of the Harry Potter craze, and right in the middle of the Twilight hysteria That being said, I really feel like the director dropped the ball as far as making this as spectacular as the books. I mean, yes the books are ALWAYS going to be better. That’s a given. But it really felt like the director didn’t even TRY in certain areas.
It’s a slow-paced movie. Painfully slow. There’s little to no explanation on why they are even forced to go into the Arena, who the Capitol is, who the districts are…the list goes on. It can also be VERY confusing if you don’t read the books first. This point was proven to me as I watched it with a group of friends who had never read the book. I ended up having to pause the movie just to give a huge run down on why things were happening.
However if you DO read the books first, well then you’re so let down that you want to punch a puppy. There is WAY too much changed for NO reason. Not even for time reasons. For example, why bother putting a shot of the family cat in there if you can’t even get the description right? How hard would it be to get a friggen’ orange cat?
I digress again. As much as it seems like I’m bashing this movie, I did enjoy it. There were a lot of things that were very amusing to see, such as the Tracker Jacker scene, and I give a standing ovation to the casting department. EVERY SINGLE actor was PERFECT for their role. There were very minor discrepancies, but as a whole, that cast was spot-on. And let’s all take a moment to recognize Lenny Kravitz as Cinna.
All in all I’d give this movie 3 out of 5 Top Hats, as Malice would put it.
There you have it guys and ghouls…Let’s have a round of applause for Lotta Titties….I’m sorry…Lotta Stitches! Keep an eye out for a new section to the site. I will be introducing you to our new family members very soon. Also, keep an eye out for more movie reviews including Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Dark Shadows, Dark Knight Rises, Bathory, and Mr. Hush.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Well Hello, My Freaky Darlings! How did your Holiday go? Good I hope! Well now that Thanksgiving and Black Friday are out-of-the-way, Malicimo is up for some movie reviews. First up, a new personal favorite, The Amazing Spiderman. I was blown away by this film. If you have been paying attention to previous posts about it, I didn’t have high hopes. In fact, I really thought this one was going to be a real stinker. Rather pleasant surprise, I was very wrong. Such a good job was done with this film. So many good things to say…why waste it all on the intro. Let’s chat movie’s shall we?
A Psychotik Review: The Amazing Spiderman
I think it goes without saying, I need to be a little less wordy with my movie reviews. So hopefully, for the last time, I’ll be changing up the format a bit. That being said, let’s talk plot. The Amazing Spiderman is advertised as the untold story. You have the basic plot of Peter Parker gets powers from a special spider (still genetically engineered, face it we know radioactive won’t do that stuff!) A bad decision by Peter, leads to Uncle Ben’s untimely death. And Parker learns with great power, comes great responsibility. It has all of that…and more! First off, we have a change in love interest. That’s right guys and ghouls, no Mary Jane Watson this time round. This time we have the beautiful Gwen Stacy (Played by the very pretty Emma Stone). I should have probably mentioned first the fact we have a plot with Peters Parents (this is where the untold story comes in.) Apparently, Mr. Parker was one of the best genetic scientists at Oscorp (Yes, Oscorp plays the role it’s supposed to as a big bad mean corporation). Dr. Parker and Dr. Curt Connors were apparently working on splicing animal genes with human genes to cure different ailments. Something happens, and Peters Mom and Dad have to leave in a hurry. Flash forward a couple of years and Peter finds his Dad’s hidden documents. This prompts him to sneak into Oscorp, which prompts him to sneak into a restricted area full of genetically engineered spiders…which get’s him bit (we all know the basics of what happens) Moving on, Peter impresses Dr. Connors by using his Dad’s formula to finish what he’s working on. Of course as you know, comic book rules state something must go wrong….and it does and Connors becomes the lizard. Really, you should watch the movie from here, because I don’t want to ruin it!
What did I like? A lot really! The casting was..eh eh hmm…Amazing. Andrew Garfeild makes a perfect Spiderman. He has the charisma, the attitude, and a certain gusto that makes him leaps, bounds, and web-slings above Tobey Maguire. Emma Stone plays a much better love interest as Gwen Stacey than Kirsten Dunst. Sally Feild as Aunt May is a little awkward at first, but she grows on you. Martain Sheen gives a new level of depth to Uncle Ben. You don’t just get to see good ol’ Uncle Ben, you get to see a more realistic side of him. He’s not this glorified father figure, you see some flaws in him…it’s more grounding. I don’t know where to start with Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors. Couldn’t picture a better person in the role.
The way that they handle Spiderman in general is a big plus. Finally, we have a Spiderman that offers the quips and one liners we all love. That was always something that killed me with the Rami films. The suit takes a little getting used to. I can tell you the one thing that irks me most about it they fix in the game. A simple addition of a red utility belt ties the whole thing together. The thing I love most about the movie that i didn’t think I was going to is the Web-Slingers. Yes, the film actually acknowledges the fact Peter is smart and likes to invent things. Watch in one scene where you can see a door lock invention in his room. Although he doesn’t create the stuff that is turned into web (that’s actually a Oscorp invention. Little pills that contain liquid steel that can be turned into a cable). But, he does create the device that spins it into webbing. Last thing I’ll mention…his super strength. Most people may not realize this, but Spiderman is pretty freakin’ strong…this time it shows and manages to add some rather humorous moments.
Last but not least. The Stan Lee cameo. I’m not going into much detail, all I will tell you is when you see it you will shit awesome bricks…and laugh for days on end. Best one…ever!
As far as things I didn’t like, the list isn’t that long. The only things I can mention is one scene at the end and how the lizard looked. I just feel he could have looked a little better, maybe a little more sinister looking. I mean he was ok, but still out of all of the incarnations of the lizard, he could have been better. The scene at the end I’m talking about is…eh hmm…wait a minuet…
The scene where Gwen Stacy is trying to create the antidote for the Lizard…virus? Either way, she is making the antidote and trying to keep Lizard out of the lab. In a last-ditch effort she pulls the trigger for the Halon Gas System. She then proceeds to run through the gas to the other end of the room…effortlessly…and hide in a closet. Well it was all for not, as the system failed to deter the Connors in any way. My Problem? Halon Gas removes all of the oxygen from the area, in this case the room, to extinguish fires in a lab. It’s really the best way to kill a chemical fire. In no way would she or Connors…two oxygen dependent organisms…be able to survive the room without the aid of a gas mask. Now I could be wrong, it could have been some other system…but to the best of my knowledge, systems like this are always halon…and that is what it looks like. If I’m wrong correct me.
Well, I’m going to stop here with my verdict. The Amazing Spiderman gets5 out 5 Top Hats. I really thought I was going to hate this one. I really thought it was going to stink. Thank you for proving me wrong…an epic Spiderman movie is possible. Hat’s off Darlings…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
P.S Make sure to watch after the credits for a scene you won’t want to miss…could the next film involve my favorite Spiderman villain Green Goblin…only time will tell….
Happy October, My Freaky Darlings! It’s that time again! The joyous time of year where all of us freaks, madmen, monsters, and weirdos feel are just a little more accepted (Not that it really matters!) Well, a week ago we made our annual trip to Halloween Horror Nights. I have to say another great year down, was a shaky start at first with lack of website among other things. They really surprised me this year though. Not to say it was perfect, but definately some of my favorite houses. I will warn, this year I didn’t make it to the shows. Funds being what they were, we just couldn’t go Express (Something that will be remedied next year!) The last couple of years though I haven’t been too impressed with Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure anyway…so no big deal. Would have really enjoyed 20 Penny Circus, but alas it wasn’t in the cards. Let’s stop the dilly with the dally and jump into this thing huh?
No Escape…Halloween Horror Nights 22
7) Universal’s House of Horrors– I really wanted to like this house more. I loved the concept, I think there was a lot of room for good scares. I did receives at least two really good scares. I just think it could have been better. What made me have a bad taste about this one? Simple! The house scenes and everything were done in UV paint. I know what they were going for, trying to make you feel as if you were walking into the living film, it just could have been better. In fact, I really feel houses like this are lazy. To top it off, there was no facade. You just walked into the beginning scenes which were very much like the beginning to All Nite DIE-in: Take 2. What was the reason for this house being so thrown together? Again…Simple! Remember a couple of months back when I reported that the seventh house was going in SS44? I have no proof, but it’s my opinion that this house really was thrown together pretty quick. I never did find anybody who posted a building permit for that location. Also looking around, the floats that were supposed to be housed in that area were next to it in a rather temporary storage. Not bad if they did throw it together last minuet…but it had room for improvement.
6) Alice Cooper: Welcome to My Nightmare– This house was a lot better than people give it credit! I love Alice Cooper and his style of shock. This house displayed that nicely…Alice’s own personal brand of madness. Why so low on the list then? Well that’s just how good the other houses were! I managed to go through with a real energetic cast. You had twisted nurses, asylum patients, angst teens, and of course Steven and Alice. The theory was you walked through several of his greatest hits showing the personification of the songs themselves. My only real problem was I wanted more! I think the one in Hollywood was better. I know they wanted to make it different, but maybe they should have made it the same. At any rate, don’t miss it…Alice will know! (P.S…Keep an eye to the writing on the walls for a hint to what you are about to see next. If you’re an Alice Cooper Fan…you’ll know.)
5) Silent Hill– First house of the night and really set the pace. I love Silent Hill and I love this house. I was in total fanboy overload!! The nurses, the music, the other creepy tidbits…every Silent Hill fans dream. Even managed to catch Pyramid Head, which Seras tried to take home…I think she scared him. The best parts are the opening scene and facade, the janitor scene (which is very disturbing to say the least), and Pyramid Head. Really wish there would have been more of him. You did have a mess load of nurses though…I suppose that made up for it. Room for improvement? Maybe a little more energy on the scareactors part. As far as design wise, Universal possess tech to make it ten fold scarier. Maybe when they optioned the rights, they got a few more years out of it…and this won’t be the last we will see of good ol’ Silent Hill. One could hope! Either way…don’t miss it!
4) Penn & Teller New(Kd) Las Vegas– For a funny house this was higher on the list because A) it was trippy B) it had surprisingly good scares C) the interactive aspect D) Penn and Teller paid my $40 bucks to bump it up! LOL Just Kidding…they gave me $10 and thats why it’s #4! Anyway, this was the best of the typical fun houses I have been though. For years, Psychoscarapy: Home for the Holidays was my favorite…this house dethroned it. In this house you will find everything you love about sin city…everything you love horribly irradiated with nuclear waste. You see, Penn and Teller aren’t the kind of people to let a little thing like nuclear waste get them down…NO!! In fact the see the wonderful opportunity to turn a negative into a positive…and make some cash on the side. My favorite parts in this house is the kitchen scene and then the wedding scene. Both got me good…some more than others…Seras. Would have been higher on the list if we would have went the week before when Penn and Teller were actually there!!! Would have been number one!!!
3) Gothic– You know I almost skipped this house? We were running low on time, and so far all night I hadn’t heard any good things about this one. We ended up lucking out though and hit Gothic and Dead End last minuet…I would have been mad if I had missed it. I was taken away by how cool this house really was. You really felt like you walked onto the site of an old cathedral being renovated. So many good scares…I really lost count! Kudo’s to the Gargoyle that got into the Italian “Eh!” match with me…you made my night. I absolutely loved the candle scene, the catwalk scene, and the nice midnight stroll on the roof. You will be scared in this house and you will be taken away by the beauty at the same time (Pretty much how they get you! Bait and Switch!) This house again proving that Uni doesn’t require fancy movie and TV properties to scare the crap out of you…however…the next house sort of ruins what I just said…
2) The Walking Dead: Dead Inside– This is THE perfect zombie house…never will there be anything more accurate for a zombie house or scarezone. So many emotions felt in one house! Universal was able to bring to life The Walking Dead in a way I never though possible. The scenes that you walk through are every bit as iconic as they are in the show. You really never know when a walker is going to come at you. Could be here…could be there! The very end is my favorite part. Let’s say…i think they were lying when they said House of Horrors had more scareactors in a single scene…wait till you get to the end of this one. Without giving too much away…let’s say your personal bubble is greatly reduced and if you are afraid of zombies…your going to love this. Don’t miss it…as a matter of fact…go through it twice!!!
1) Dead End– Well we are at the end of the count down…may favorite house of the year. Another one I nearly didn’t get too. Boy I’m glad I went. Really wish I could have moved into this old house…it has a certain character…By character I mean it scares the piss right out of you at every turn. By far the most scares in one house all night. This is why it got number one!! Could tell whether it was all the things that weren’t what they seemed…or the glowy white ghost that get’s you at every turn…but this house just got me! And that’s rare!!! Do not…and I repeat…do not miss this house! It will become your White Buffalo. I can’t even peg down a favorite scene it was that good. I suppose the scenes with the glowy white ghost were the best…BEWARE OF THE GLOWY WHITE GHOST!!!
I will touch on this real quick. I wasn’t big fan of the idea of roaming hordes of scareactors. The no scarezone idea had been tried before in 07′ and failed horribly. This year made me a believer. You never know who is going to catch you and where they are just kept moving all night. What I thought was even cooler was the music queue was moving all night. They actually moved the sound track to fit who was in the area…nice touch. I also loved that fact that when I was amongst the vampires…I was mistaken as scareactor…like 20 times! Had three pictures taken of me…(I hope they caught my good side!) I really wish I would have gotten more pictures of them for you, but that night was hectic…little one was sick, no express passes, having to rush whilst being worried…pictures were just not on my mind this year. I will add what I have though to the Encyclopedia Psychotika Facebook page though if you want to have a look. I think my favorites ended up being the Vampires (Real surprise there!)
In closing, this was a good year to go. I definitely felt like it was money well spent. Can’t wait for next year, and wish I could go again this year! As I said i was not able to hit the shows. My dear friend Samhain however was able to hit Bill and Ted, so maybe she will be so kind as to send me a small review. Also!! I will be collecting some reviews from our fellow cast of weirdos that went with us, and post them as well…why just take my opinion on the night…right? (Hee Hee That rhymed) Stay tuned for more madness to come!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
P.S I re-preposed to Seras under the archway to the cemetery….SHE SAID YES!! CONGRATS TO ME!!
Hey there Darlings! I was chatting with someone there other day about The Avengers, when all of the sudden….I realized I left out a few things. In my defense I was having a really hard week that week. Lot’s of bad things going on…lot’s of things on my mind. I’ve had time to clear my head though and now I would like to go back to those missed topics if you all don’t mind. I know, of course I know most of you can’t go long without reading my words. Well enough about me…
***FROM THIS POINT ON, LOOK OUT FOR SPOILERS***
One of the things I would like to do is expound upon Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. I barely talked about him, and he had such an awesome part in the movie. It totally blindsided me when he ended up as the one turned by Loki. He spent over half the movie as a bad guy, it just caught me off guard. I also have to say I’m a fan of the outfit. At first, I thought I would hate it because of how greatly it was scaled back. When you think about it though, in this continuity, he is more an agent for S.H.E.I.L.D first. It just doesn’t make sense for him to have a costume. Maybe in a later movie they could add it in then, but for this one…it was fine the way it was. Oh, and before I move on…to the guy out there that was ripping on Jeremy Renner’s ability with the bow. It looked spot on! If it was awkward in a few parts, it was probably because the shot was technically impossible. I think some people get to wrapped up in the movies that they forget for a moment that these are all based on fiction. To each their own I suppose.
I also forgot to mention the very last scene of the movie. Well both of them. The first after credit scene rolls after the primary credits. You see the alien leader talking to someone about how the humans are not a species to be reckoned with (Go us!) Now I had heard rumors before I went to the movie that the ending had something to do with Thanos. The aliens did look a little like him in the lower jaw, so I figured maybe it would just be a very small hint. Well, if you consider small showing his full face in view and him grinning creepily at you small…then yeah I guess it was. I was blown away! What a choice for a villain, The only question is…which film? Will it be in one of the upcoming ones like Thor 2, Iron Man 3, orCaptain America 3? I don’t know, I kind of think they are going to wait until the next Avengers film. The last post credit scene came at the very end of the credits. That one was a little bit of funny. The set up came a little earlier in the form of a comment by Stark. Right after he snaps out of it from his free fall, he mentions how they all need to go to a swarma place he knows about up the block. the director felt the joke was just incomplete without a pay off. So after the premier, he rounded up all of the actors and shot the scene to tack it on at the very end just for us (Thank you Joss!) It speaks volumes and is really one of those scenes you either get it or you don’t.
Final thing and I leave this alone for a while (doubt it will be long) the soundtrack. My first thoughts after listening to the soundtrack was…MOTHER OF GOD (takes off sunglasses)…It’s so freaking good it ain’t funny. Weird thing is their are bands on there that I would have never listened to in a million years. The crown jewel of the soundtrack ends up being the track “Live to Rise” by Soundgarden. I don’t remember ever being a huge fan of Soundgarden, but I do have fond memories. Plus, it’s always something to talk about when a band makes a song for the first time in 10 years. I really don’t think there is a single problem with it…of course that’s just my opinion. Give the video a check below.
Sorry I didn’t get this all out the first time! Like I said I was just a little preoccupied. I hope you all have an awesome Memorial Day! Be back soon!!!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello Freaky Darlings! It’s official if people don’t quit getting sick I maybe forced to vaccinate the world! Seriously, the amount of people getting sick or dying is too damn high! Through the midst of it all though, I was able to see The Avengers last week. I wish I could have gotten this review up a lot sooner, but things what they are it was IMPOSSIBRU!!! Even still…I’m here now giving you the down-low that I’m sure you have either heard already or seen somewhere else (I’m hanging my head ashamed…ASHAMED I TELL YOU!) So without anymore waiting…here it is…
Psychotik Review: The Avengers
I really have nothing bad to say about this movie! While I have been waiting to type this review, I have honestly been wondering what the heck I was even going to say! I think I will just say what most others have said, THE MOVIE IS FREAKING AWESOME!!! I laughed, I cried, and I jumped for joy. It was so great finally getting to see all of the Avengers on the big screen at the same time. My Fanboy button was pressed repeatedly. The film was perfect…but what makes a perfect film to me? Well, I have three things I usually grade on. They are Story, Visual Effects, and Casting. Then again, those are the basis for most reviewers. What makes me so special is I grade on the intended audience. Why grade a movie that plays toward action and comic book fans the same way you would grade a movie like Titanic (Yeah, Academy! I’m looking at you!) This film was perfect for it’s intended audience and more! It sort of transcends boundaries.
Let us start with the story. I was really taken away by the amount of thought and effort put into the script. I really think the whole team attached to the Avengers should walk away with all of the awards. So many levels of action are put in motion. The forming of the Avengers, Bruce Learning to deal with The Hulk side of him, Loki Vs. Thor continuing, S.H.E.I.L.D coming into full focus, The Alien Invasion, on and on and on etc. etc. etc….It was almost too much to take in all at once. I really don’t want to get too descriptive, because this is oe I feel most will need to see (or at the very least should see!) Besides the trailer speaks for itself as to what the movie is about mainly. Instead of my usual shtick, I will offer this. Every movie element you can possibly think of is used to its full potential. You have Action as the base pallet to work on! Then a healthy splashing of comedy, a generous touch of drama, with a little refreshing hint at suspense. In a small case you could say a small accent of horror (creature creation was some pretty damn good!) All of this comes together to paint the Mona Lisa of superhero flicks.
Next thing I must touch on is the casting. Over the last couple of years Marvel has really out done themselves in this department. Robert Downey, Jr. is the absolute real life equivalent to Tony Stark. Chris Hemsworth “verily” brings to life the Norse God of Thunder like no other. And Chris Evans looks far better in Red, White, and Blue than flames. However, we all knew those were coming. The real test of casting were the newer characters added to the fray (and also the characters that up until now have only carried supporting parts.) One of the main new faces I want to mention is Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner. I was a firm believer that Edward Norton was the best choice for Bruce after seeing 2008’s The Incredible Hulk…was being the operative word. Mr. Ruffalo is everything that the character was meant to be! He still maintained an awkwardness that the character needs, and at the same time brought out Bruce’s serious side. He is everything that you could possibly want in The Hulk’s counterpart. I do hope that the part sticks and that they plan on a Hulk follow-up project. Let’s not forget to also mention Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye and Cobie Smudler’s as Maria Hill. Mr. Renner, regardless of some unwarranted criticism, commands a well-balanced Hawkeye. While Cobie Smudler actually makes Maria Hill kind of likable (If you have ever played Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 you know what I mean…you hate her in that game!) Honorable mention also goes to Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. That man adds so much bad ass to an already bad ass character!
Last, but not least, I’ll touch on the Visual Effects. By far the best I’ve seen, especially in a Marvel movie. The aliens were out of this world…pun intended…Seeing the S.H.E.I.L.D Helicarrier brought to life was amazing. Everything was just so…EPIC! The crown jewel of all the effects has to be The Hulk. Finally after years of trying we have a perfect form. Countless amounts of man hours were put into this version. Not only does it completely include Mark Ruffalo’s likeness…BUT…the model also has the most human look outside of Lou Farrigno! I also liked the choice in not making him cut and ripped all the time. Maintaining a sort of average feel and then arching up to completely shredded. It was a nice touch that added so much to the movie. I really wish there was more I could go on about, but one character in particular I happened to be pleased with would give away too much. JUST GO WATCH THE MOVIE ALREADY!! JEEZ!!
To close this big mama’ jamma’ of a review to a close, I give Marvel’s The Avengers… 7 out 5 Top Hats. That’s right…7 out of 5! I’m giving them the 2 that Human Centipede 2 had in the negatives (Come on an equivalent Exchange had to be made somewhere…) Now all of that being said, I’m going to bed! I’m tired and I want to sleep…Have a good day my Freaky Darlings…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
p.s enjoy this music video by Sound Garden…First one in YEARS!!!
Now that i have your full attention, Greetings! I’ve been so busy lately thinking up new material, taking Grandma places, entertaining the little one, and saving Singapore from a deadly armored robot racoon….((Deep Breath)) that I have had hardly anytime what so ever to write an article. After watching that abortion Human Centipede 2, I found myself on a search for a good movie. Luckily, I found one! Really I had been meaning to catch this flick for quite some time. Since last Halloween Horror Nights to be exact. Most of you regular readers may recall it was featured as a haunted house at last years event (For those of you that are clueless, you probably just happened by this site. THAT’S OK!! But do be a doll and go back and read the review for Halloween Horror Nights 21….and for the love of Cthulhu, like it and subscribe!!!) Needless to say, I finally found time to watch it. It’s actually rather good. Normally, I find myself spouting off rants on how Hollywood needs to stop using the previous round of horror movies as a crutch instead of justing relying on their own talent. With this movie though…well if Hollywood would follow suit with this kind of treatment…I would like it very much. This prequel to John Carpenter’s masterful remake was a true delight. With that said, let’s dig into this review!
Psychotik Review: The Thing (2011)
As good as the HHN version of this movie was, I needed to see it with my own eyes. It was a damn shame I didn’t get to see it while we were in Orlando for HHN 21. I would have loved to do this review way back when. But time being what it is, there never does seem to be enough. So was the wait really worth it? Yes…Yes I feel it was. I now also see what others were saying some of the problems with the house were as well, but I’m not here to talk about HHN…thats for another time. The Thing offers some fantastic visuals along with a great storyline that meshes well with the source material. Normally, when dealing with a classic like John Carpenters version, it’s very hard to come up with anything new and hold true to the original. Not a problem for this installment. Not only does it stay within the confines of the material, but it expands a little answering some unanswered questions from the original. The great thing is, John carpenter sign’s off on it meaning that it is all cannon to the story. Pretty sweet eh?
My favorite part of horror movies are the visual effects. While I did enjoy the use of CGI for the creatures in this film, I also think that they relied a little to heavy on it. Supposedly they did use practical pieces, but they glamoured it up a little too much with effects. You really can’t see where most of the practical creatures are! I know that it is an unfortunate side effect of the computer driven world we live in…I get that. I just wish most directors wouldn’t underestimate the use of creature actors and well placed puppeteer. I don’t want you to think that I was completely unimpressed, but I felt they could have been a little better. It would also be terrible of me, and a crime, if i didn’t mention the set design (it’s included in visual effect damn it!) The level of detail with the recreation of the Norwegian station is just staggering. As the events play out, you really start to see it take shape into the disaster that MacReady and crew explore. Pay close attention to everything that happens and then watch the original. It is sure to tickle your fanboy or girl funny bone!
Next important part is always the story. I really wasn’t expecting much. I kind of figured all of there was going to be to like was the visuals. You start to kind of get the set up as most prequels of this nature. You see new characters that only mirror characters from the original. But this one takes a few twists. When you think you know whats going to happen…BAM left instead of right and you find yourself in unfamiliar territory. So kudo to the writers! An example of this…Hang on…
There is a point in the film when you get to the familiar scenario of needing to find out who is a Thing and who is human. Well they go with the set up of doing blood tests just like in John Carpenter’s. Similar to the other, the scientific approach is ruined in the form of the lab being destroyed. This is the bait, here’s the switch! Just when you think they are going to go for the ol’ “Heated wire to the blood trick” you get your added cannon. Earlier in the movie, the main protagonist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), finds some fillings in the bathroom where a Thing took someone over. She comes to the realization that the alien cannot replicate inorganic matter. So she tells everyone to open their mouth so she can look for fillings. Naturally, it’s not perfect. But it provides the perfect set up for a familiar scene with a new twist.
My verdict? I give it 4 Top Hats out of 5. The movie presents with a nice story, good acting, pretty good effects, and some epic visuals that bring back fond memories. Well that’s all for now my Freaky Darlings. Stay tuned for more madness to come.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello, My Freaky Darlings! I’ve had a crazy last couple of days. In those couple of days I managed to watch…Human Centipede 2. That was really not the most constructive things I’ve done either. Let me say first, I pride myself on the ability to look at movies objectively. I used to be really bad about saying, “If you don’t like such and such you don’t know what a good movie is!” I’ve grown past that and am now able to look at it from the other side. Normally, I can look at a movie I like and see why others don’t like it. I can also see it from the other perspective if I don’t like it. Not this one. I had such high hopes for this one. There was pretty good buzz about this flick passing it’s way around the internet. Let’s just say, I learned a hard lesson in not believing the hype. I have so many things to say, and I’m not sure any of them are “good.” I think first though, before I share my full opinion on Human Centipede 2, I should share my feelings on the original.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
I went into this film with the highest hopes. A horror movie that had not only a disturbing concept but was also medically possible! What could go wrong? Apparently a lot! One of my biggest problems with this first film is how the film drags on. The story really doesn’t focus enough on elements that would have added depth to the story, and too much on explaining the procedure. It’s almost like, as cool as it was that it could happen…it’s not necessary to the story to know every detail. I was also annoyed by the fact that you never know “why” he wanted to make a human centipede. What purpose was there? This German Scientist comes up with the process and everything, and there really is no purpose. Oh, and before anyone says, “Well that’s what makes it scary! Not having a reason! He’s just a nut case!” BULLSHIT!!! That’s a copout and an excuse for poor writing. In My opinion, that only further discredits the film. I just could never understand how you could go through all of the reasearch to make the film medically possible and write as poor of a story as this film had. You didn’t even have character development for crying out loud! Eli Roth had more character development in Hostel and horror critics tear that movie apart. Yet somehow, the critics all band behind this movie…it’s rediculous. On the Top Hat scale, I give this one 1 Out of 5 Top Hats.
Now for the main Article…
Psychotik Review: The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)
You know I really don’t know where to start. This movie was just so damn awful! A total train wreck! The only reason I kept watching was because I couldn’t look away. There is just so much wrong with the whole thing and it doesn’t even matter what your vantage point may be. Let’s just dissect this thing already! Starting with the plot and story. On paper it sounds like a really cool idea. I wondered when I first heard of a sequel how they were going to do it. The original wasn’t really set up for a follow-up, but hey I’ve seen people do more with less. Yeah…looking good on paper is about all the idea was. The plot follows mentally handicapped and sexually abused Martin, a parking garage attendant and Human Centipede fan. More obsessed than anything, it strikes Martin that he should make his own Human Centipede. That in mind, Martin starts gathering victims from the parking garage. Even goes as far as to acquire a room for his “experiment” (killing the landlord in the process.) But how is he going to make his creation with no surgical tools or knowledge? Oh…well we will get to that in a moment. Sounds like a good movie huh? Let’s peel away the sugar-coating shall we?
The only thing that saved the original in the slightest with me was the realism. The procedure was medically possible! It could be done with the right know how. With this movie you no longer have the freaky mad scientist. NO! You have a short, fat, mentally handicapped dude that shits his pants, and wanks with sandpaper (Yes, I’m not kidding he jacks it with a piece of fucking sandpaper!) He doesn’t even talk, the most you get is a squeal. The whole element of reality is lost completely through the whole film. Nobody ever looks for the disappeared people. It seems like he’s the only one that ever works at this parking garage. All of the people he captures he either shoots or beats about the head. Their is so much blunt force trauma in this movie, the only centipede he should have made was a mashed centipede. Don’t get me started on how the centipede was made. The only scientific part seemed to be when Martin found out if he tried to do it right with what he had (cooking knives, duck tape, pliers, a hammer, and more duct tape) the person would die and bleed out. Speaking of bleeding out , everyone of the people in this “experiment” have been, at this time, beaten over the head, stabbed, and/or shot. They have all been left alone in a dark room with no food, no medical attention, and no clothes for days. I’m really not sure how they are living at this point. The only ones that die are the ones he kills during the “procedure.” Anyway, back on track. Once he finds he can’t do the deed accurately. He then stretches each of their lips to what seems to be unnatural lengths, somehow effectively stapling them all ass to mouth. How the staples hold up as long as they did I’ll never know. Most staples I’ve had the displeasure of working with pull right apart! Not to mention the fact there was no way the stapled bent over to hold. They should have pulled out with no effort at all. In the end, he only really seems to have created this…I’m tierd of saying it…his “Beast of 12 heads up 11 Asses,” is to make it shit. Which, by the way, with the addition of laxative he achieves his goal…in record time! He manages to send a turd from the head of the beast, to the back in 1 miuete. To sum it up, we have traded science for the horror equivalent of dick and fart jokes.
Next, I figure we can talk about the action and characters a bit. To sum up the characters, you don’t know shit about them. And you know what? You don’t care either. You have Martin, whom I’ve already described to you. Then you have his abusive mother, the sexually abusive voice of his father in his head, his sexually perverse doctor, and his pet centipede. Did I mention the people that become the centipede!? You know nothing of these people other than face value. Why is that you think? Oh yeah, maybe because the director doesn’t give a crap about them and as far as he is concerned, neither should you. As far as action, you have a lot of gore but it is all very repetitive and not that interesting. Besides why should you care!? You know nothing of any character in this movie, and therefore have no stake in what is going on. No killer to love, no victims you want to watch die…or visa versa! In the words of Willy Wonka, “YOU GET NOTHING!!! GOOD DAY SIR!!” Before I leave the topic of gore and go to the final verdict, let’s address one scene in particular. There is a scene in which the pregnant woman who you think is dead springs back to life. She goes running like a bat out of hell to a car parked outside. You realise, the reason this particular woman has sprung back to life is she’s in labor. Well, she gets in the car while Martin (covered in shit and blood) chases behind. When she gets to the car…Wouldn’t you know it…sum bitch won’t start. This is when it get REAL stupid. The woman pauses for a minute and starts to push. A few screams later, the baby plops out crying in the floor. Instead of her picking the child up, what does she do? If you somehow guessed turns the key and stomps the baby’s head into the gas pedal leaving a bloody gooey mess in it’s wake…then you guessed right! Congrats! Your as fucked in the head as our dear director Tom Six. Kindly put this pipe leading to that running car over there in your mouth and breath slowly. Your prize will come shortly (Ha Ha Ha! I kid….no not really…your a sick and twisted little screw ball…and you shouldn’t be allowed to procreate!) BACK ON TOPIC!!! After the woman does this, it’s as if smashing a baby’s brain into the floor board is the magical spell to start a car, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT DOES IT! What did that part bring to the movie? Why was it there? Was he high when he wrote this? Was he reading a dead baby joke? This brings me to my closing thoughts…
My conclusion is this, Tom Six is an awful director. I’m serious, the fact this man let this movie see the light of day has made me lose what ever shred of respect I had for him to start with. It’s as if he sat down to write the script for this movie and said to himself, “Well, I already have a fan base. So what ever I do they’ll like!” That was when he stroked his dick and thought of the most random sick and twisted elements he could and tossed them into one movie. This movie has made me want to revisit other movies I had been rather harsh on in the past. You know, give them another shot! For now, I have seen what a horrid movie looks like…and this is it! The Psychotik Review rating I give to this big mud monkey is -2 Top Hats out of 5. Yeah that’s right, negative 2! I want my life back that I wasted!!! Don’t waste your time on this garbage. Your support is better appreciated with people like David Madison and Thomas Churchill.
That’s all for today my Darlings! Sorry for the gap. As I said on the Facebook, I’m in the midst of an eczema break out and the hands don’t work so well. Thank you to those of you readers that expressed concern and good wishes! I love you all, and you’re the reason I keep this site a float. Have a good night!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
It has been a long time coming, but in less than a month, all Marvel Fan Boys get to collectively jizz their pant’s. May 4th is the release date for Marvel’s The Avengers and I couldn’t be happier. Marvel Studios has really impressed me with the casting job on these recent films. From Iron Man to Captain America: The First Avenger, Marvel has been on a freakin’ roll. As I have been waiting patiently for the event to role around, I have found myself going back and revisiting the films. (I got tired of watching the damn trailer once a day…Ah, who am I kidding I LOVE WATCHING THAT TRAILER ONCE A DAY!!! I’m now currently watching the Disney Cartoon, Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes!) I know I’ve reviewed most of them before, but why not go back and review them in retrospective? Sure…why not!? Let’s start at the beginning….
A long time ago….Approxamatly 4 years to be exact…
Iron Man (2008)
I was really excited when I started to hear about this flick. I remember the first bit I read was that Robert Downey, Jr. was to play the lead. That alone had me sold! RDJ IS Tony Stark! I wasn’t too thrilled to see Jon Favreau Directing. At that point I had only really seen him act (and he wasn’t exactly my favorite!) Still though, the movie was a hit in my book. Marvel needed something to renew faith after X-Men: Last Stand. Looking back on it, I am able to say that Don Chaedle is a much better Rhodes than Terrance Howard. I love the way they handled the suits in the movie. From Mach I to III, and even the Iron Monger, I was greatly impressed. The way that the story progressed also had a nice touch. For the first time, Marvel managed present an all-inclusive origin movie that had little to no problem (Not to mention the this is the first peak we get of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. As far as I’m concerned, it was perfect! Their was still another Avenger film that came out that year though…
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
I was so pleased to see this film get the proper treatment. The one from 2003 was just…awful! The CGI was bad, the story was drawn out and boring, and I really didn’t care much for the actors. Normally I hate remakes, this was an exception. Ed Norton was an excellent Bruce Banner. Very reminicent of Bill Bixby, the orginal Banner from the 1978 series (If you pay attention, a TV screen at the very beginning offers him a cameo.) The movie gives you a short montage of how everything happened, and through flash backs in the middle of the film you get the origin. Thank Cthulhu, because I don’t think anyone needed to sit through a long drawn out origin story. He was hit with Gamma Rays. He became the Hulk. He’s running from the government. End of origin, let’s get to the meat and potatoes shall we? Liv Tyler offered a very loving Betty Ross just as William Hurt offered a very hateable General “Thunderbolt” Ross. Don’t get me started on Tim Roth. First, let me start off with I loved the choice for a villian. Abomination was way better than that screwed up version of Absorbing Man Nick Nolte played. The transformation from Blonsky to Abomination was a great part of the story. Before I leave this alone, let me add that the visual effects were…”Incredible”…I do undertand this movie had 5 years up on the last one, but come on! Even in 2003 they could have done better than what they did! It’s really a shame that Ed Norton won’t be reprising the role…but hey you just can’t get to greedy. Even in the film business…We shall see what Mark Ruffalo brings to the table.
Iron Man 2 (2010)
It was 2 long years before the next Avenger movie would come out. But boy was it worth it! Iron Man 2 was an incredible follow-up to the 2008 hit. As mentioned before we saw a change-up in casting with a new Rhoads (Not a bad thing.) We were also introduced more to S.H.E.I.L.D and the Black Widow, as well as introduced to a new villain…Whiplash. Now, if you go by the comics, Whiplash is a rather throw away villian. Marvel Studios really saw some potential when they designed him for the movie, and Micky Rourke did a superb job of bringing the character life. The story was even better as it showed the self-destructive side of Tony Stark (Even though it wasn’t the PSA for drug abuse that the comics offered!) This movie is a corner-stone in my Marvel movie collection. Really I can’t say enough good about this movie. I still wonder if they are going to flesh out Whiplash eventually as Crimson Dynamo. In comic book history Ivan’s father, Anton Vanko, was the original creator of the Crimson Dynamo armor. Whiplash was Ivan Vanko…but then again he did get blown up…but laws of comic’s unless you saw a corpse…it probebly didn’t happen (even then you have to suspect!) We shall see…
I really wasn’t expecting much from this movie. I went to go see it simply because it was one of the Avenger movies. Other than that, I didn’t have the highest hopes for the film. I left the theater a Thor fan. Most of the time I kind of viewed Thor as a silly superhero. I think most of it had to do with the way he talked. It just kind of made me laugh. The movie did a great job of telling the origin of Thor…but at the same time it didn’t make it feel like your typical origin story. Most origin stories have that drag to them at least in one section. Not this one! No, your attention is kept from beginning to end. They even manage to throw in a love story (Better than Twilight…sorry had to make the joke!) The choice of Chris Hemsworth kind of had me shakey, but I feel he really did the role justice. Anthoney Hopkins was the BEST decision for Odin…HANDS DOWN!!! This movie also brought us what seems to be the primary antagonist in The Avengers, Loki. I don’t know where they dug this dude up from, but he is really good. I really can’t view anyone else to play the Trickster God. Might I also go on the record saying this, wasn’t Heimdall the only Asgardian that had “Bad Mother Fucker” on him? That was the best way I could have seen him played! As cool as Thor was though…their was one more movie that year…
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
This was unfortunately the only one I didn’t get to see in the theater. It was either Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 or Captain America…I chose Harry Potter (Hey man, I was aching to see the sequal…it was necessary!!!) I was shocked and amazed with the level of detail put into this film. The casting was spot on, the CGI was top-notch, and the story was well told. One of the coolest things about it was it had that sort of old-time war film feel to it. I enjoyed it. I loved the casting of Red Skull. Hugo Weaving is one of my favorite actors. It just made so much sense. I was also impressed with how they handled making Chris Evans smaller. That definatly took me by surprise. The last thing I will mention before I leave the subject is how impressed I was with Chris Evans portrayal of Captain America. At first I wasn’t to hopeful. Evans is more known for his comical roles, not serious ones (He was Human Torch in Fantastic 4 for crying out loud!) No after seeing his performance, I can’t picture a better Captain!
That about wraps it up. I suppose all we have now is to wait for the movie to come out. I wonder if they are going to have a few cameo’s from future Avengers? They are kind of missing Ant Man, Wasp, and Black Panther. I guess we will just have to wait and see. All I can tell you for now is that Iron Man 3 is due out next year. The following year, April 2014 to be exact, will be the follow-up to Captain America: The First Avenger. Only time will tell, But I’m thinking this one is going to beat the pants off what ever else comes out this year.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Ha Ha Ha! Hello, Freaky Darlings! Welcome to another Psychotik Review. The subject of tonight, the creepy craze sweeping the horror community, Insidious. This was a hard movie for me to review. It took me some time to organize my thoughts about it. I didn’t really know how the movie made me feel. I’ll get into all of that below, the most I will say before we get into this is: For once I have a movie I’m reviewing that I can actually dissect….
Psychotik Review: Insidious
The story starts out with a pretty regular concept of paranormal activity and moves to a more interesting one. You have some basic bump in the night sort of stuff, cheap thrills really. Then you move into the main act when one of the main characters little boys falls into a strange coma. You immediately get the feeling this coma is completely paranormal. Unless of course you think the ghosts and other activity have nothing to do with it. It get’s so bad our family moves to another place. Big surprise, it doesn’t go away. You are introduced to some rather cool characters through the course of all of this mess (I’ll get to that in a minuet). The story comes to a head when a psychic is called and she reveals a family secret that the father is astral projector as well as the boy. You see what happened is, the boy projected away from his body and is lost. It’s all up to super dad to go on a hunt through “The Further” to find his little boy before some ghost or a little Red Faced Demon (Code Named Darth Maul Demon…Seriously, check it out) posses’ him.
Now That I have that out of the way, let me explain what I thought of it. The plot is a good one…if only it would have decided where it was going. To me the movie felt like it was all over the place. Like it just kept jumping around without ever resolving anything. It was entertaining, but there was one spot toward the end that I was just like “How the hell did we get here?” That’s not the actors fault….Not even really the Director….thats more a writing sort of thing. Unless of course the Director cut a few scenes that would have made more sense. You just never really knew who the real threat was. It sort of settles on it…and then it just totally goes out of the way to piss on that as well. You’ll get it at the end.
(Here’s the trailer…maybe it can give you a better idea as to what the movie is about…I doubt it…)
This is where I can give them a lot of credit. The movie really did have top-notch casting. Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye…even the creature actors J. Larose, Joseph Bishara, and Philip Freidman. They all do a wonderful job with the roles they have. I more give credit to Lin Shaye and her team of paranormal investigators…they were awesome. The creature’s did a good job at their being creepy. The old lady and The Long Haired Fiend are the things that horror legend is made of! I just wish they would have had more screen time. J. Larose and the Demon were the most frighening. They just didn’t offer them enough screen time. Again another problem with direction and writing…On the whole though, I say Acting was a big plus.
My overall opinion of the film is it interesting but unorganized. It looks pretty, the concept is good, the creatures and ghosts are well done…but I just can’t get over the scatter-brained feeling it gives as well. I also would like to add that James Wan doesn’t deliver on attempting to be Sam Rami. I’m not kidding! Seriously, watch it and tell me you don’t get the feeling for a second Sam Rami Directed this. Maybe he was doing it as a nod to him, but I know it doesn’t work for him…It’s really good thought if you’re looking for a creepy cool time. I might also add that the use of “Tip Toe Through the Tulips” by Tiny Tim gave it a few creepy scenes. My only question is how they used it. The first time you hear it, a record player turns on and it’s playing. Why the hell did she have that just sitting on the record player? More importantly…WHY DID SHE HAVE THAT RECORD!? The second time is when that little Red Faced Demon is sharpening his nails….yeah by the way that Darth Maul Demon has a souped up Freddy glove…Oh, and apparently we also find out that a gas mask is a viable psychic tool…I’m not making this shit up…
The movie get’s a solid 3 out of 5 Top Hats. It really wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t that good either. Definately don’t go into it expecting a horribly frightening thing. I had to wait to do this review to form my own opinion because I went from the hype and was grossly disappointed. Think I was too harsh…Click Here for an alternate point of view!
That’s all for tonight Darlings…do stay tuned for more madness to come your way. Hopefully some short stories soon. Definately another review or two….
Until Next Time My Freaky Darlings,
P.S. I found this scene while looking through YouTube. It had potential to be a very eerie scene, but due to poor judgement in cinematography, the scene is only visible if you are looking for it…This will show you a perfect example of my frustration with the films delivery on scares…enjoy!