Reviews!

2011… Coming Soon to a Theater Near You…

Every year brings us a new list of movies to look forward too. Sometimes there are quite a few sometimes, not so much. Everybody tended to think that last year was a bust as far as movies went, but you know i really have to disagree with that. So as I’m making my way through some of the films I caught up on from 2010, why don’t I take you on a flash forward of what yours truly is looking forward to. Basically, a list of what I’m looking forward to. So far I’m seeing a pretty good line up for the theaters for 2011. Let’s take a peek:

Comics

2011 is going to mark an incredible year for comic book adaptations! The sheer amount of them are staggering. From the First Avenger to the First X-Men, we have one hell of an action packed year to look forward to. Marvel is coming out of the shoot with Thor May 6th, followed by X-Men: First Class June 3rd, and rounding it out with Captain America: The First Avenger July 22nd. THIS IS JUST MARVEL PEOPLE!! Marvel Studios is going to dominate this summer with a variable onslaught of action. You even have something to look forward to from DC in the form of The Green Lantern hitting theaters June 17th. This is just the  tip of  the iceberg as far as I’m concerned. Four movies in, and there is still so much more.

Sequels, Sequels, Sequels…

This year also promises to turn out a ton of sequels whether it be a second, a third, or even a fourth in the series! 2011 promises to deliver a heaping amount of additions to some of our favorite titles. In May we have Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (May 20), The Hangover 2 (May 26), and Kung Fu Panda 2 (May 27). I really don’t think this is a disappointing prelude to the summer box office season. Pirates so far looks like they are heading in the right direction. On a personal note I thought Kung Fu Panda and The Hangover where awesome movies. Yet, while I don’t see a reason to continue them, I still am excited to see what they are going to do with them.Then from June till October you can look forward to Disney Pixar’s Cars 2 (June 24), Piranha 3DD (September 16th), and Paranormal Activity 3 (October 21). I would also like to mention that Santa will be bringing us a gift in the form of A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas due out the 23rd of December.

Now before you go jumping my case telling me I forgot some, hold your horses I have some special categories for the others. These were more or less movies that I don’t think are going to be the end of the series. Not to mention these are also continuations that I wouldn’t mind seeing…moving on.

* Note: Paranormal Activity 3 has yet to be confirmed. Although the rumors have been floating. So the release date and the existance right now are unconfirmed. Stay tuned…

Blockbuster Finales

2011 will also mark the end to some of my (and I’m sure yours too!!) favorite Blockbuster Smashes. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (July 1) will mark the third and (hopefully) final installment to Michael Bays series. The only reason I say hopefully, is I can’t imagine it going any further. I just think after this one it would be beating a dead horse. Some already feel it is, but hey you have to end it, you can’t just leave it as is. The that same month you have the end of a cinematic giant. A movie series that has dominated the box office for over a decade, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (July 15). It will be a sad day for Potter fans around the globe indeed. But all good things must come to an end. Don’t feel alone Potter fans though, as November 18th marks the beginning of the end for all Twi-hards in the form of the first installment to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. There might actually be more ends to some of the Blockbusters out there, that have actually ended up in other sections of this article. The only reason I did not put them there is because A) it has not been announced as the last. B) It has and I think they are lying. A lot of films have lied in tha past about being the last, so I now am accustomed to smelling shit when it’s in the air (I’m looking at you Final Destination and Saw!)

Wild Cards

To me these are the movies that look like they could go either way. Either they are really going to suck, or they are going to rock your world in ways only a thought possible in the bed room (or the kitchen counter top…which ever is more comfortable!) My pic of wild cards go as follows: Beastly (March 4), Cowboys and Aliens (July 29), and The Thing (October 14). The first in that list I came across rather by chance. It’s a modern spin on the old tale of Beauty and the Beast. You know fancy-pants, pretty boy insults freaky goth chick….she curses him to look like Enigma and Freddy Krueger’s love child. Then he has to have somebody look past all of that and fall in love with him. Did I mention Mary-Kate Olsen plays the freaky goth chick? That second one on the list just looks like it is either going to be really good or really bad! I’m glad to see someone is just taking an out there idea and rolling with it, just not sure if that was the best out there idea to roll with. You also may have notices that the third one mention is the prelude to one of my favorite movies, John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). Only time will tell on this one. I don’t even want to jinx it by making a prediction. I’m sure there are more Wild Cards then just these three. It’s more or less these are the only ones I’m interested in.

* Note: Honorable Mentions here will go to Super 8 (June 10), The Smurfs (August 3), and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (October TBA)

The Dead Horse

These are the movies that I just think Hollywood dredged out of the back catalogue long enough to beat whats left in that poor hoofed beast to pieces. First up, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (February 18). I’m really not sure why they feel the need to keep dragging the fat suit out of moth balls. I really didn’t think there needed to be a second one. The movie really wasn’t the type of movie set up for sequels. While we are on the subject of pulling stuff out of moth balls, Scream 4 (April 15) must be caked in 5 inches of dust. It’s been so long since the third one was released, I’m not sure most people are going to care. The first was a good movie, the second…eh..OK. The Third left such an impression on me, I don’t even recall who was in it. So, I can’t imagine a forth hack at whats left of this lame stallion being anything but awful. That same month will also give birth to the five headed tired beast call Fast 5 (April 29). The  fifth instalment to a franchise that really should have never left the market of a trilogy. Really shouldn’t have gone that far! The first and second were just…cool. I thought I was going to hate the third, but it turned out to be an alright movie. I’ve not seen the forth, and nor do I want to. All of these pale in comparison though to this last disaster. Somebody sold their sole to the devil to be able to make this one (and they better have mentioned it has to be succesful when they signed it away…or they got screwed!) Mission: Impossible…Ghost Protocol is due out December 16th. What makes the studios even think that this is a good idea? I mean didn’t the last one tank? It didn’t make what it cost to make, that’s for sure! I don’t know…all I can say is I’m not going to watch it, and I don’t think you should either. There are plenty other treasures coming out this year. Honorable mentions for this section include: Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (August 19), Final Destination 5 (August 26), and Rise of the Apes (November 23).

* Note: Rise of the Apes is a prequel to the original story line of Planet of the Apes…my feelings over this can only be described in Charlton Heston’s immortal words “DAMN YOU…..DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELLLLLLLLLLL!!”

** Update: A reader has brought to my attention that this is in fact not a prequel but a reboot. That really doesn’t make it any better, but I just thought I would put the correction in.

As you can see it’s going to be a pretty busy year as far as movie goers are concerned. I know if I get to see even half of my picks I’ll be lucky. We will see how things pan out. I’m very curious to see whats going to work and whats going to flop. I have a lot of faith in the comic book movies this year. I don’t imagine any of them actually being a stinker. Unfortunately, most of the ones I listed with my flops are probably going to do somewhat well. If not for the fact that movie goers are going to be trapped by the hype into seeing it. After all, that’s what the producers of these films are going for anyway….

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik


The Good, The Bad, and The Down Right Infuriating! Part I

Over the last two months I have been doing a rather large amount of catching up. I was way behind with movies, and needed to get up to date on what I had been missing. While I was doing this I had every intention of doing an individual article for all of them. Upon writing all the titles down, I had an epiphany…there are WAYYYYYYYY to many to attempt to do this. Thus, I’m going to bunch them up, and just write several reviews in one article making this three pieces (four if you count the gaming one)! Now all of them aren’t current, and all of them are not Horror or like that.

Before we get started, let me remind everyone (or if you are new, explain for the first time) how I do movie reviews. My rating system is not necessarily like other systems. I have a lot of factors to what differs from 1 Top Hat to a 5 Top Hat rating. Rest assured, I will tell you what those reasons are. I’m not one to slap a movie with a reason and then not give you a reason why it received that rating. Also keep in mind, my taste my differ from yours. Most tastes to differ, but the reason I and other sites review movies is to give you an idea. Or even better, a “Buyer Beware” if you will! Not to mention, it’s rather handy when you are able to relate to a reviewer. To know they are generally spot on with your taste makes it a little easier to make a decision. It’s also noteworthy that my reviews CONTAIN SPOILERS!! So consider this your one and only warning!! Other than that, that’s about all I can think of to explain. So with the formalities out of the way…let us begin!

Grown Ups

I’m a huge fan of Adam Sandler. Generally speaking I like most of his work. His comedy work that is. I try to pretend such movies as Spanglish and Punch Drunk Love don’t exist! So I had some pretty high hopes for this movie upon seeing the trailer for it. I’m very happy to say that the movie delivered and then some. The story line follows a group of childhood friends that…well grew up! They have all  gone their own seprate ways, and they are untied by the death of their mentor. The funeral lays the ground work for a very hilarious weekend where old friendships are renewed and marriages are saved. What are my thoughts?

Well, if you have seen any of Adam Sandler’s movies, you know about what kind of humor to expect. Now I’m not saying they are all the same, but I will say it follows the humor from about 50 First Dates on up. Rob Schneider is a great punch line in this movie! I hope this man was paid well, because it seems like he is the butt end of most of the jokes in this movie. The movie is very relatable, as everyone has at one point in their childhood had that unbreakable group of best friends that seem to have drifted apart once they “Grew Up”. I like comedies that you can look at and say, “Yeah that would be me,” or “Yep that is so (insert friend here)!” To me that makes a comedy that much better. I would love to site some of the jokes that I loved in this film, but to be honest there are just to many. I love all of the comedians in the film, and every one of them brings their own personal brand of humor to the table. So whats the final verdict? 5 Top Hats for roll in the floor laughs, ability to relate, and an all-star comedy cast!

Shutter Island

This movie had me going either way. It was going to knock my socks off or make me want to commit myself. Really it did neither, I just found it a buzz kill. It was like I wasn’t really pissed with the movie, but I wasn’t pleased with it either. Just more I felt it was a waste of time. I will say to its credit I’m generally not a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio movies. However, taking back that credit, I will tell you that I’m a fan of both Ben Kingsley and Mark Ruffalo. The movie plays out like this, two U.S. Marshalls are sent to Shutter Island to investigate the disappearance of an escaped inmate. DiCaprio’s character is plagued by flash backs to his times in WWII and memories of his dead wife. Toward the middle of the movie they try twisting and turning the plot to keep you off-balance. Is there a dark secret on Shutter Island? What kind of experiments are going on? Was he lured there just to silence him? Unfortunately, it’s painfully obvious half way through that it is neither…

My main problem with the movie is the predictability of it. There are very few plot twists in the movie that I hadn’t thought of within the first 20 minutes. Of those plot twists, I was able to tell you the main message, he wasn’t going to make it off that rock. There also wasn’t a lot to keep your attention. In an effort to make the movie a “thinker” they end up throwing a slew of dream sequences that stop the movie dead. It’s not till the very end of the movie does it all fit, and by then you are really just disengaged. Then the ending is what made it worst! You finally get DiCaprio to where it looks like he is on the road to recovery. Then they try to go for the artsy ending. They make you think that he has relapsed back to his fantasy world. Something that is going to sign him up for an express ticket to a Lobotomy. This ending would have been depressing, but better than the one surprise of the whole movie. He then makes a comment that makes you see that he didn’t really lapse back, he’s just choosing to have a lobotomy over living with the fact his wife killed his kids. Now before you shake your finger at me and tell me what a great ending that was, do you know what a lobotomy does? If you don’t, Google it then come back…it’s OK I’ll wait………Now you tell me a lobotomy sounds better! I give the movie 2 Top Hats for great cinematography and some pretty cool visuals. However, it also get’s those 2 Top Hats because of a predictable story line, a horrible ending, and an annoying musical score.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this movie. The only experience I have with the games is maybe a demo and what my friends have told me and seen them play. I’ve never really gotten to know more than that. I also have to admit I had my reservations at seeing Jake Gyllenhaal as the action hero type. I don’t know about you, but I just didn’t see it. It was nice to be proven wrong. There were a few moments, but for the most part he stuck it pretty well. The story line that the movie follows in the story of Prince Dastan, a Prince of Persia (Oh look I said it! I said it!! I said the movie title!) Dastan is the wilder of the three heirs to the crown of Persia and adopted. Through an insidious plot (you’ll find out about that later) they head long into a battle with a holy city containing the legendary, Sands of Time. After the battle (in which they succeeded because of Dastan) the King is Assassinated. The movie takes off here as Dastan is set up for the murder, and he must prove his innocence. That is really as much as I want to give away.

What I liked about this movie is the very tight story line it paints. You have a special blend of action, drama, and comedy that really keeps you interested the whole way through. The casting is not bad at all with names like Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, and Alfred Molina. I also have to say the special effects in this movie were pretty over the top! It’s really nice to see Disney stepping up their game and delivering on some pretty decent action films. It certainly does give me hope for Marvel’s future in their hands. Another really cool thing is the style of action. The movie does a good job at recreating some of the death-defying acrobatics from the game. Whether its Dastan running sideways on a wall or free-falling off a ledge, it just has a way of pushing your fanboy button (or action junkie button, which ever you have). Taking all of this into account I give this movie 5 Top Hats. I’m sure if I ever play through the game I might end up shrinking it back one for accuracy. But, that will be a short time off. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time offers you a good thumping time. I don’t really recall having anything bad to say about this movie. I think it was because my expectations were set pretty low. You know what they say the lower the expectations, the more you may get surprised.

Daybreakers

This movie I rented on a whim really. I didn’t know a lot about it, all I knew was it was a modern take on the vampire mythos. Now don’t get me wrong, I love when people try to rekindle the vampire story! It’s just a lot of people don’t do it any justice, or it’s like they just add vampires to the story for a draw. Upon watching the movie, I was left wanting several sequels! The story line is amazing, the actors even better. There are really too many good things to say. The story revolves around the concept of the world being overrun by vampires. With that many vampires in the world, homosapiens are about to go extinct. This also poses a real problem for vampires too, being that they will lose their food source. Actually two problems, one being obvious. The other is the more they starve the more they turn into a grotesque half man/ half bat creature. This is where you meet the main protagonist Edward Dalton, portrayed by Ethan Hawke. Edward is a scientist charged with creating a synthetic blood supply. I would also like to mention he doesn’t exactly like being a vampire. He still has a very soft spot for humanity because of this. A soft spot that leads him to hell and back.

Now like I said, this movie has a very tight story line. The writers really put a very cool modern spin on the vampire movie. The way that the vampires live, the technological advancements that allow them to live life in the dark is very new and interesting. There are really so many little details that this film covers, you can’t possibly list them all in a small review. Your main cast really plays a big part in this movie too! Willem Dafoe does what he does best with his role as Lionel “Elvis” Cormac, an ex-vampire that totes a bad-ass cross-bow! I also have to add it’s nice seeing Sam Neil in his villainous role as the head of a big blood supply company. There is just something about him that he plays a very good evil corporate America scum, with the added evil of being a vampire! Taking all of these things  into account you have a good story line, a great cast, and a very nice visual presentation. All of which help me happily give this movie a 5 Top Hat rating. I really urge all who are looking for a good vampire movie to go and check this movie out. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

Iron Man 2

If you know me you know that I am a HUGE fanboy when it comes to Marvel. I love all things Marvel, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to judge just based on that. No I was actually very nervous for this movie. When you are following a first movie as good as Iron Man, you have a lot to live up to! Iron Man 2 sets a really high bar for any comic movie to follow, including a third movie! our story takes place 6 months after the events of the first movie. Right away you are introduced to Ivan Vanko (Micky Rourke) a physicist whose family has a grudge against the Stark family. Did I forget to mention that he is the only other person in the world with access to the arc reactor technology? The second part of the story is Tony going through a self-destructive phase in his life (Yeah, I know as if alcoholism and womanizing wasn’t self-destructive enough!) You see the very arc reactor that is saving his life is also poisoning him. So he is in a race to find an alternate power source before the thing meant to save his life ends him. Take all of that and add that the government is breathing down his neck for the Iron Man suit…he is in some deep shit and it’s only been 20 minutes into the movie!

Now I can go on about how visually pleasing this movie, and how awesome Robert Downey Jr. is at playing Tony Stark, but you already know that! I’ll start with the new actor for Rhodes, Don Cheadle. This man did so much for the character that it’s hard to imagine anyone else playing the role. Not to say Terrance Howard was terrible, I just feel he could have not done the Rhodes that this movie needed. I will also add that Scarlett Johansson did wonderfully. I’m not a real big fan of her work, and I really have to say I’m usually not impressed with her as an actress. In this movie she delivers what no other woman has lately. A female Super Hero that doesn’t make you laugh out of the theater. Oh, and Micky Rourke! Where do I start? For the first time I’ve seen, you see a director go with a B list villain and turn him into a force to be reckoned with. Whiplash is such a great choice to pit against Tony Stark. He’s the exact opposite of Tony Stark that it makes it a perfect show down. I’m now left saying “Where do you go from here?” So as you all may have guessed I give this film a 5 Top Hat rating. This movie was Jon Faveau’s perfect storm. Will lightning strike a third time with Iron Man 3? Only time will tell ladies and gentleman…

Repo Men

Now, at this point you are either saying “Wow, Malice hardly any stinker you’ve either got impeccable taste in movies or your easy to please…” Well let me tell you, I do pride myself on knowing when a movie is going to be shit! This movie I went against my usual instinct. The reason I did this was for my love of Repo! The Genetic Opera. You see I couldn’t tell whether it was my love for Repo! that was causing my bullshit meter to go off, or the fact it was in fact a massive turd! The story line reads as this, Jude Law plays Remy. Remy is a repo man for the company simply called “The Union.” Remy and his partner Jake (Forrest Whitaker) are the best there is in the organ repossession game. What “The Union” does, is  finance organs to people who need them. You know so you don’t have to worry about a donor. Catch is if you miss a payment, they send in…the Repo Men. (Is it just me, or does this story line sound REALLY familiar? Maybe it’s just me…) Remy is trying to struggle with the choice of either lose his family or switch to a desk job. “The Union” doesn’t like this. I mean how would you take losing your best man? So “The Union” in an effort to flex their muscle sets it up so Remy is going to need their help with an organ. This effectively binds him to the company, because the only way he can afford it is to stay a Repo Man. So basically, the company screws him over. To top it off, he has a meeting with his conscience and can no longer “perform.” Now Remy must fight against the company to survive! (I swear I’ve heard this story somewhere before…)

O.K. I will set aside completely pigeon holing this movie with Repo! The Genetic Opera jokes, because really I don’t need them. This movie sucks all on its own! To top it off, it’s not even really the whole movie  sucks, but the last 5 minutes ofthis film are so unforgivable!! The ending of the movie sets you up with Remy and this girl he meets on the streets that is hooked on a street sedative for her organ transplants (….Don’t look at me I didn’t say anything….). These two have made pretty good friends and are trying to escape the system. The only way they can, is to make sure that their organs are checked out of the system. The only way to do this is to break into the main computer room at “The Unions” home office. There are some awesome fight scenes along the way here culminating in an even more awesome ass kicking sequence on their way down the hallway to this ‘core computer.” When they get in there it’s just a hole in the wall, a scanner, and a monitor. The only way they can check the organs out is to scan them out. Unfortunately the only way to do that is the Saw decision of “How much blood will you shed to gain your freedom?” So in an even more grizzly display of cutting each other open and rooting their hands and a handheld scanner around (and looking very much like they are having sex) they have to scan all of the bar codes. Now this isn’t hard for Remy, he only has the heart. Beth however has like 12-13 implants!! Upon doing this Frank (Leiv Streiber) and Jake finally gain entrance to the room. Frank is basically ignoring the fact that they beat the system and is going to kill Remy and Beth. Well this doesn’t sit well with Jake, so he kills Frank. Then with the help of Frank they stick a hole butt load of grenades into the central processing hole and blow the place to shit. Now the next scene is them relaxing on a beach somewhere, maybe in Mexico. They beat the company! Now best friends and new girlfriend can live happy and at peace at last (Yeah if you are asking yourself where the hell did this mans family go to that caused all these problems? I assure you, you are not alone…) So life is good right? Well it is until the beach background starts to glitch. You see you then are sucked back to 30 minutes to an hour earlier in the film when Remy was knocked over the head by Jake. “The Union” are working frantically trying to help bring Remy back with an experimental “Brain” implant designed for people in comas. Oh yeah they went there! The epic ending that they have set up is all a dream! I mean really who is going to overcome a corporate giant. That stuffs for movies!! This is the real world, and that’s what people go to a theater to see right, reality? I don’t have to go any further to describe to you why I hated this movie. I will ignore the obscure “Repossession Mambo” references that only Repo! fans will know about. I will ignore the numerous plot holes this movie creates. Just because of that movie I give this a rating of 1 Top Hat. The only reason I won’t give it a half of a Top Hat is because, it is rediculous to have a half of a hat. Who would wear it? That’s rubbish, and so is this movie. Congratulations to Repo Men for receiving the first ever Encyclopedia Psychotika Golden Turd Award for 2010. I don’t see how a movie that had such a great cast could be this bad. I guess going to show you that no matter how good the cast, it doesn’t save the movie!

p.s this goes to Jude Law, Forrest Whitaker, Leiv Streiber, and John Leguizamo…..SHAME ON YOU!!!

Lost Boys: The Thirst

Finally, we reach the end of Part I of this trilogy. What better way to end it, then by reviewing the third installment to The Lost Boys, Lost Boys: The Thirst. I must tell you that I am stepping outside the realm of traditional horror film reviewers at this point. I’m not a prude, and I do think that there are sometimes a return to a franchise can be a good thing. If not a really good way to stave off an inevitable remake. I would sometimes much rather you return and expand, rather than hollow out the original and use the puppet as your movie. In the second one you are reintroduced to the beloved Edgar Frog. In this one, they actually retcon some of the bad plot from the second one, and turn this one into a much better follow-up. It is really just too much of a shame that our dearly departed Corey Haim could not have been a part of this movie. The basis for this movie is that Edgar Frog is getting kicked out of his place. His whole life is falling apart. Then a girl comes to his door asking him to do what he does best kick some vampire tail! This time he must race to keep a vampire coven from performing a ritual that will make its leader super charged. He even goes to enlist the help of his brother Alan, already showed turned vamp in the first scene of the movie. Through a few plot twist, the insidious plot is revealed and you get to see what every fanboy wants, the Frog Brothers back in the business of kicking blood sucker ass (and business is good)!

This movie worked way better as a follow-up to the original on a few different levels. You actually have a more solid story that doesn’t get annoying. Alan is changed, but is not the evil douche he is portrayed to be in the second one. Sam still got turned. But in a tribute to him they tie it up and say that Edgar had to kill him. While we are on that, I will add that the little tribute they have to him in the form of Edgar’s cherished Batman #14, is just…touching really. Add that to the looks Edgar has when mentioning Sam, and it just gets down right teary! The movie achieves its point of reuniting the Frog Brothers for an excellent adventure. As good as it is though and as much as I love the story, there is a negative. Most the other characters in this movie are terrible actors or actresses. I mean they are barely worthy of a SyFy original. That being said I’m unable to give this movie a full perfect rating. I will give this movie a 4 Top Hat rating. Why? For a tight story line, decent visual effects, and sheer “rewatchability’.

Well that’s all for now! I know this has been a long epic of an article, but I assure you the next two sequels are just as big! Use these as you will. Whether they help you make a choice to or not to watch is entirely up to you! Hope everyone is having a good start to the year. Oh, and it’s good to be back in the saddle!

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik


Welcome to the Grid!…TRON: Evolution

Hello, My Freaky Darlings! So, after an Mansinthe fueled night of fun, I feel like my batteries are charged and I’m ready to blow the whole worlds mind…That being said let me tell you what I have ben doing for the last little bit. For the last month I have been compiling data…I came to the realization I needed some fun material. With that I came to the conclusion that I wanted to review some video games and movies. I needed some time to catch myself up to speed however, and this is where the dry spell has come from. My friends and my lovely have recharged my batteries to past full, and for the first time in a little bit I feel I can sit here and entertain you fine ghouls and freaks! What better way to do this then to open straight into the best gaming experience I had to offer. Not just that but the movie opens tomorrow so really it’s just fitting. So it’s with great pleasure I tell you…

Welcome to the Grid!…TRON: Evolution


This game was a very visually pleasing experience. I really can’t wait untill I get a new T.V. to enjoy this game further! To fully set you in my mind-set, all I have to go into this series is the hype. I have never seen TRON and of course I have never seen TRON: Legacy. All I have to work off of is the hype and the trailer. Also, it is noteworthy that I am never to fond of Motion Picture to Gaming media type games. If it has anything to do with a movie, it usually tends to suck poo covered donkey balls! This game is a true exception. Before I give you my rating I will break things down into groups: Story, Graphics, and Game Play.

Story

The story you follow bridges the gap between TRON and TRON: Legacy. Telling you exactly how the take over came to be and explaining the genocide of the ISO’s and the rise of Clu to power over the Grid. You play a new Moderator Program created by Flynn to investigate the Murder of one of the ISO leaders, Jalen. From here you are thrown into a conspiracy that involves an Evil Program Virus, Abraxas and Clu killing Tron and Flynn. This takes you on a wild ride across the grid to find out the truth and attempt to save the Grid. Not wanting to reveal too much plot, I will stop there.

Really the game does a good job at pacing an interesting story. There really isn’t too much predictability. By that I mean obviously you know a movie is coming out that involves Clu taking over, and Flynn and Quorra fighting him. So realisticly you know what the ending is. There was no way for you not to know how it was going to end, unless you spend your time in a drunken haze (Or with a coat hanger trying to tickle your brain!) The middle story though is pretty impressive! You start out thinking the plot is going to be just he Abraxas Virus, then it goes to Clu double-crossing Tron and Flynn, then to Mass Genocide, then to…I’m not going to ruin it! For a video game based on a movie, they did a pretty damn good job keeping you entertained and then making you think you have an exclusive bit of story. I for one am now going to be able to watch TRON: Legacy with a percent margin of .76% more understanding then the asshole next to me! “Who’s that Quorra girl? Well I know that! Maybe you should have played the game…! MWHAHAHA!!” “How did Clu do it? Why is Flynn in the game!? I know and you don’t! Sit in your confusion and rot foolish mortal!” The only thing l you will find as a let down is the very ending. Mostly this just happened because I was so swept up in the game I lost touch of my original preconceived ending…Why was I so swept up? Well that brings us to the next part of the review!

Graphics
This game is every bit as visually appealing as the trailer to the fucking movie! I’m not even kidding. And this was even on my old Methuselah of a TV which is tiny as all get out! I can’t wait to put this on a flat screen and see how it all pans out. You get so swept up in the pretty surroundings honestly some times that makes you screw up. It just kept me saying “WOW! Look at that!” This even inspired me to want to see a theme park for the Grid. If it looks that cool on a video game, how cool do you think it’s going to be in person?

He’s stunned by the beauty…

On a more technical note, I didn’t really notice any lag, there were no glitches to speak of, no trapping your self in a wall or falling into an endless abyss the really did good with the surroundings. I understand that the design when you think about it is pretty simplistic, but they went above and beyond to deliver a very visually pleasing atmosphere. This helps so that even when you are getting your ass handed to you, even when you are about to put your head through a wall…you can still look at that screen and say, “It’s just so damn pretty! I want to spend all day there riding my light cycle and throwing my disk at people!” Speaking of Disks, Light Cycles, Getting your ass handed to you, and wanting to put your head through a wall…that brings me to my last section!

Gameplay

The gameplay in this game is the only thing that I had room for improvement on. On one hand the amount of stuff it allows you to do is just awe-inspiring. The way you move through the game keeps you on your toes so that there is never a dull moment. You don’t spend a whole lot of time just straight running through the game. A lot of it is death-defying acrobatics much in the style of say, Prince of Persia. The combat system is pretty simplistic. You cycle through your different disc mods using the D-pad and the other attack buttons remain the same. controlling the vehicles is pretty linear too. More or less they are there to keep it fresh. The Bike is the best one. It is by far the funnest to play with. It’s also noteworthy that the leveling up system is pretty cool. Now for my room for improvement.

You think my battles are hard, wait till you see my glitches…they will tear your mind apart!

There were moments that you wanted to pull your hair out. If you come across a new enemy, you better pay close attention to the scan read out. If you miss how to kill this new foe, you are going to go through fifteen times of dying and doing it again to figure it out. Maybe even right down a note or two about them as you go so in the final stage when you go through the gauntlet, you will know what to do. Also, if you get Derezzed too many times, the music and sound effects tend to go a little screwy! Some times it would just bottom out and completely throw me off. Also some of the angles will kill you when you are doing a long stretch of acrobatics. Most of that was my fault though. I was spoiled by the navi cube in the very beginning because I was under the impression I was going to have it the whole time. (My bad for paying more attention to the colorful scenery and not enough to the wank talking to me!) The Tank levels also will drive you up a wall! It’s sort of difficult to get the hang of them. Once you do, it’s a done deal. I just feel they could have made it a bit more smooth.

On a separate note I want to mention the Multiplayer. I don’t include Multiplayer in the main reaction from the game, mostly because I think it is utter bullshit for a game to rely on multiplayer to save its ass from having a crappy story mode. Fighting games of corse are the exception to this, but you know what I mean. If you don’t know what i mean again there are three possibilities: 1) you just don’t understand games in general 2) you get your jollies by pouring acid in your ear 3) you love FPS’s, and are going to try to defend to the death their honor! With that out-of-the-way, TRON: Evolution has a really decent multiplayer mode. It plays much in the fashion of an FPS. You run around killing the other hapless gamers on the grid in a timed death match. The added coolness is you can have levels that are just straight forward battles, or you can have a little more open range, and jump on your light cycle to whoop some digital ass! I love how in addition to the awesome concept, you can gain levels and powers for story mode by playing in the gaming grid. So that if you just can’t win against a boss, go spend a little time practicing your mad skills, and then go back a derezz some BASIC scum!

Let’s see Halo Rock this Hard…Didn’t think so…

Overall Impression

I was really pleased with this game. Decent Story, Great Graphics, and Above average Gameplay make me round this review out at a solid 4 out of 5 Top hats. It comes highly recommended especially if you are a fan of TRON. So go out and rent it or buy it, and see what you think! All I can say is that I’m now fully interested in this series just because of this game! Kudo to you game designers, Thumbs up!

Be sure to stay tuned for more reviews on some newer games and some games that are a little older that I played anyway. Things are going to even out here a little pretty soon. Also, I have not forgotten the comic idea for Shaggy and Todd or my short stories. They are coming along nicely. I just want to make sure that they are more than just “Up to snuff” for My Freaky Darlings.Thats all for tonight, so…

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

Dear Freaky Darlings, I do apologize for the dry spell that has taken over the last couple of weeks. recouping the Holiday is rough, and I have many adventures to share with many more to come. Rest assure the time has been well spent! Tonight, I give you this review of a great movie. Let this wet your chops because there is much more including Dusker of the Month for December! I hope this slacks your thirst for blood!

It’s been ten years since the franchise started and now it is all coming to an end. We all knew this day would come, after all, all dynasty’s have to end eventually. Harry Potter is no exception! So how did this glorious beginning of the end go? The only word that comes to mind is Epic! Lord of the Rings eat your heart out, Hit the bricks Twilight…Harry Potter has taken it to a whole new level of cool! I was absolutely wowed just by how good this movie really was. I was expecting a good movie , but for once my high standards were exceeded! There are many things I liked about this movie, and not a lot I think they could have improved upon. So grab your wands Darlings, and hold that broom stick tight! Here’s the Psychotik Review of…

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 1


Let’s start with the story. The movie opens with all of the turmoil that is going through the wizard world. With Dumbledore dead, war is imminent.Hermione has to leave her parents and erase her existence for their sake. The Dursleys are leaving (which I’m sure is more good news then bad). The Order shows up to try to move Harry. In a cool special effect you get to see multiple people turn into Harry (Watch for Fleur-Harry…she is the funniest). After they do this they go on a high-speed broom chase through London in an attempt to confuse the Deatheaters. During this chase Hedwig is killed, George Weasley loses an ear, and Mad Eye Moody is killed. This really sets the tone for the movie. There is a lot of sacrifice and self discovery in this movie. I would go a bit further, but I’m more than positive most of you have either read the book, saw the movie already, or have seen the trailer. If not it will be posted below. Rather, I would like to move into the points I love about this film.

Now I could go on forever on what I loved about the special effects, and the casting, how the composer does a masterful job at creating an epic score…etc…We would literally be here all night! Instead, I would like to talk about the story and how it was presented. It was refreshing to see the series go back to its roots and truly show the friendship between the stories core three characters. That’s basically what this part is about. Reacquainting you with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Not since Prisoner of Azkaban has there been such a focus on the core friendship of the series. It’s understandable to an extent. Movies are different than books. You have to have more about the other characters as well. You should kind of get the picture that those three are best friends.

I also like how the story really paces itself. I was worried about this movie when I thought of how painful Return of the King was to sit through. The last in a series is usually the longest. Thank God they split this into two movies. Regardless of that, the movie does keep you wanting more. Each scene compliments the next. There is a fair amount of action, but it doesn’t over power the plot. The have the perfect mixture of Action, Drama, Special Effects, etc…it all comes together rather beautifully! If these movies don’t end in some sort of Academy Award, I think I will be really cheesed off!

Really I don’t want to give away too much. I would even love to pic out a few scenes for you, but there are just to many! The only thing I can say is if you haven’t seen it you really need to! It’s a great movie, and an awesome opener for the chaos that is going to be in Part 2. I will leave you with the knowledge that Dobby is a little bad ass. You really get to see exactly what those little House Elves are capable of! Also the way they animate the story of the Deathly Hallows is a bloody interesting way to do it. Kind of throws you for a loop! I give Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 5 Top Hats out of 5, and Malice Psychotik’s HIGHEST endorsement.

I apologize for the breif-ness, but as I said, there really isn’t much more I can say other than it is a truly epic movie, one of the greatest cinema spectaculars of the year, a life changing experience! Your life will mean less for NOT seeing it!

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik

Check out the trailer here:



Discovery Channel’s: The Colony

I’m generally the first one to say reality shows like Survivor suck. There are only so many times you can see people get betrayed, people breaking down from the stress, etc… etc… ad nauseum….before you want to take the producers of this show out back, and beat them! However, when I first got a load of the trailer for this one, I was pretty impressed. The Colony is a new take on the Survivor type reality show. Instead of “Can you survive this random wilderness” it’s more like “Can you survive a world fallen apart from a super contagium that is killing EVERYTHING!”

It was like love at first fright! Finally, someone comes up with a realistic show about survival. What if your world was turned upside down by a super virus that is killing everything (and everybody) you love, would you survive it? So far looking at the available videos, they make this very realistic. From scrounging for supplies, to setting up camp, and even coming across a group of hostiles! I can’t wait to get into this series more. I’ll be sure to check more out and report back later. For now, I leave you with a link and urge you to check this out. The only thing I would improve so far, is the addition of zombies (Then again they don’t call me Psychotik for nothing!) There are 6 episodes on the web page. The show first aired last Tuesday, and looks like it will continue Tuesdays at 10pm.

Sadistically Yours,

Malice Psychotik


The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

I know there are posters with the main three....again outside the norm...

I have stewed over whether or not to review this movie for about a month now. I know how its a sensitive subject among die-nard horror fans. You know what though? I have never been one to follow “social norms,” so why start now? Usually, I consider the Twilight Saga a “guilty pleasure,” but this third installment really impressed me. This movie really stands out against the rest. I believe the biggest reason for this, is because there is a lot more action! Way more than in the others, thats for sure.

Eclipse opens in a way that was very out of the norm for these movies. It started like a  freakin’ horror movie to be honest! Within the first five minuets you have a kid stalked, chased, and bit. This really starts to set the tone for the movie. Of course then it moves into the basic story line of the series.  Bella is in love with Edward, but Jacob wants her too….I could go on but if you’re a fan you know it and if you aren’t you aren’t interested! Moving on! The main plot in the movie (not the book…the MOVIE) is a woman scorned vampire Victoria is creating a vampire army to kill the Cullens. Really all she even wants is Bella. Apparently she’s still a little tweaked because Edward killed her main squeeze to save his. I mean all her James did was try to kill Bella for no other reason than because he was bored! (I mean thats normal right? Whats Edwards problem? Pssht!) The MOVIE (see there I did it again) really doesn’t dwell on the love story, and I don’t really feel it needed to. There are only so many ways you can show that Edward loves Bella and she loves him back. But the little doggy (Jacob) wants some but can’t. This really is left more as a sub-plot. There are some funny scenes of the two (Edward and Jacob) butting heads,  but really that’s about all I want to touch on that. Let us just dive into the positive parts shall we…..Some how I feel I’m loosing your attention!

Where do I start with the action? Well, it is worth mentioning that there is a mass feeding scene with all of the new vampires. You really get kind of surprised by it, as your really not expecting it! It’s kind of like “Oh laddeedadeeda….” “I SAID BE LESS DISCRETE!! (kicks a new-born) ((Cue another new-born smashing in one’s head to take his human)) There is even a dark back story to Jasper. A back story filled with him turning children to vampires, letting them live for a year, then breaking their necks! I scared everyone in the theater because I laughed! (Then again you are talking about the same person that goes into a giggle fit when he sees Anakin with the Younglings….”Master Skywalkers here! We’re saved!” snicker…chuckle). Hell, you even get to see more of Dakota Fannings dark side….she torchers a little girl and then has her killed (and you people called this a tween movie!?) This of course is just icing until you get to the big fight scene. In this scene you get to see the New Borns vs. The Cullens/ Wolves slug it out in a battle to save all humanity! (Ok not really just Bella and the rest of Forks…..but I digress…) I really didn’t think they were going to deliver as well. I mean what does a sparkly vampire do when you kill it……Apparently it smashes like the disco ball they look like! Yes you heard right they smash like a mirror! This effect looks cool as all get out, I really couldn’t get enough of it! Surprisingly, this scene got it’s point across without a drop of blood. In some cases it even made it worst then if it had all the gore!

I would like to also touch on the visual effects. This movie really delivers in the effect department. The vampires actually look really cool. The new-borns really sell as a pack of ravenous, blood thirsty, killing machines! To top that off the giant wolves just look….well cool. The graphics aren’t bad (Blurred running, wire work, CGI, vampires shattering….). Way better than the previous two. The scenery is pretty note worthy as well. (I’m a sucker for location). So where did I think the movie fell short? (I know you two in the back were waiting for it, I knew it!)

OK the scene this comes from just had me thinking Land of the Dead....

I think there could have been a tad more blood. I do know that they have to keep the PG-13 rating, but that is going to go right out the window in the next one anyway. Put your big boy pants on, and show me some blood. Your getting there, but I feel you came just short of the full-monty. Finally, whoever has the shaky hands…..GET THEM OFF THE CAMERA!! It was only in one or two scenes but was really bad, and highly unnecessary….

So what do I give the movie? Well I had some problems with it, so I don’t feel I’ll go all the way. I give it 4 out of 5 Top Hats. If you haven’t seen the movie, I implore you to give it a shot. I really feel you can’t give an honest opinion unless you see it for yourself. So many good movies get grossly over looked for no reason other than “Everybody else” said it wasn’t cool.

Until next time,

Malice Psychotik


The Wolfman

Well it has been a long time coming, but I have finally gotten around to seeing this movie. I have to say that I am very impressed. Out of the original Universal Monsters, The Wolfman is only ever seconded by Dracula. So as you can imagine I had my reservations from the start. I wasn’t really sure if I liked Universal revisioning the old classics. With amount of revisions and remakes out there though, it was only a matter of time before these screen gems were dusted off. It wasn’t until I saw the first bit of advertisement for the movie that my hopes were lifted.

Let me start with the story first. The story fallows Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) who ventures back to his home town of Blackmoor to investigate the disappearance of his brother. Upon arriving he finds out that his brother has been killed by what seems to be an animal or a lunatic. Once he sees the state of the body, he is then compelled to stay and investigate what happened to his brother. While investigating at a gypsy camp he comes face to face with his brothers killer. While in a struggle with the beast he is bit, and thus cursed. Now there is also a plot with his father (Anthony Hopkins) and a small side love story with his brothers fiance’ (Emily Blunt), but I really don’t want to give too much away at this part in the review. I really hate spoilers in the middle of a review, so I will reserve any and all comments that spoil the movie at a labeled spot at the bottom. Now on with my thoughts. I really feel that they delivered on the story. They kept enough of it intact that you can still call it The Wolfman, yet added enough to make it stand on its own. The original story I don’t feel would have stood up very well in this day and age. So that added dramatics were really a must to bring people into the story. Again the only problems I had with the story were toward the end, and as promised, I will not discuss them in this portion.

I would also like to touch on the visual dynamics of the film. The director really did a fantastic job visually in this piece. From English country side to the streets of London, each brings its own touch to the movie. Mt favorite of them being the scenes in the forest. That was always a scene that stuck out for me in the original, was the Wolfman stalking around in the foggy forest. They take that visual and tweak it in just the right matter to make those scenes just epic. It also goes without saying that Rick Baker did an awesome job with the make-up effects. I know a lot of people were very disappointed with the use of CGI in the transformations scenes. This is where my opinion differs. I feel that this is the CGI age in movies, I really don’t feel that a practical make up effect could have pulled off what needed to be done in the film. I was just happy enough that the Wolfman wasn’t going to be all CGI, and feel you should just be grateful that they still use a man in make up. I was really starting to get disillusioned with werewolf movies. I mean with all of the CGI werewolves and bad puppets to boot, it’s been a while since I have seen a decent werewolf in a movie. All in all, I feel Rick did a very good job updating the old Wolfman to the 21st century, yet still maintaining some semblance of the old look.

One last thing i would like to touch on before i move to the spoiler section is the acting. The cast really seemed to mesh in this movie wonderfully. Benicio played an awesome Lawrence Talbot. When i saw the first pictures of him in the role, I really didn’t think he was going to do the role justice. Thankfully, I was wrong and he delivered a very strong performance from beginning to end. Anthony Hopkins does as Anthony Hopkins always does. He takes the role of Sir John Talbot and delivers in full. Can you really expect anything else from the man? Also in fine form was my man Hugo Weaving is the role of Inspector Abberline. I am always impressed with Hugo’s work. He can take a character that is really only meant as a supporting part and play it with such greatness. Overall, I don’t think they could have picked a better cast then they did. The movie wouldn’t have been the same with out them.

So what do i rate the movie? I give it 4 out of 5 Top Hats. I highly recommend if you haven’t seen it to watch it. Then when you do, proceed further to my spoiler section. I know some of you are going to do it anyway, and i will now take the time to tell you, you are a naughty little cheater! I bet you read the last two pages of a book don’t you?

**********SPOILER SECTION**********

If you have not watched the movie, I implore you to go do that THEN read further!!

So here is the only problem that I had with the movie. The only problem that i felt it necessary they lose a full hat rating. What was the deal with making the father a werewolf too? Was it really that necessary? I mean I sort of enjoyed, but then I was like “No, they could have done without that.” Don’t get me wrong they couldn’t have picked a better actor to play that part. That role has Hopkins written all over it! Some how I just can’t stop thinking that they could have taken it a different route, and the movie wouldn’t have suffered. I think a big thing that kept me from enjoying that aspect was the fight scene between the two wolfed out Talbots. The only thing i kept thinking was “So this is what ir would have looked like to see Michael J. Fox and James Hampton slug it out! (If you haven’t seen Teen Wolf to get the reference, go see it) Anthony Hopkins werewolf even had grey hair to boot! It was hilarious to watch once you get that image in your head. My only other regret in the movie is that you will never get to see Abberline wolf out. I don’t discount the movie for that though. I will if they make a sequel, but for now it’s just awesome to think of a werewolf Hugo Weaving.

Oh yes it does....


Z-Day is here By Rob Fox

OK I figured I would go ahead and hand my first review over to my buddy Rob Fox for his very first Book Z-Day is here.

I remember when Rob first started this blog back in 07′ . It was just soooo good! You would see people dogging him for days for more! I remember being one of those people because he left you hanging everyday with wanting more. Wondering what was going to happen next. Was this guy going to die? What else could go wrong? Is he ever going to find Darcy?  So you could imagine how thrilled I was to see he was going to have this in print. I really think the film industry would have a lot to learn from Rob.

So the story stars out in the midst of all the chaos. The zomboclypse has started, and this guy is right in the middle of it. Stuck in his office he starts a blog describing the events as they come to pass. From there it goes on one mans adventure to reunite with his wife. The pace is very smooth, never dwelling in an area for too long, and always throwing the element of real-time into the story.  The way the story is written, is what draws you in. He doesn’t take a whole paragraph to describe a small part of a scene. Instead, he only offers the detail necessary to give you a good feel for the action going on.  Really that’s all you need. You don’t need four paragraphs describing how disgusting the zombies are and then another chapter describing one fight scene. Just quick to the point what’s going on.

Another part of the book I would love to mention is the characters. Fox did a wonderful thing in basing all of his characters off of people he knows. This shows in his writing as you can really feel the connection with these people. I feel this is lost on a lot of authors. The closer you are you your characters, the better the story will be. Whether its his supporting characters  (Like Cole or Tonya) or his smaller characters (Like Dustin or Malice) you feel a real connection to the character. This connection is really important in any sort of zombie story. If you don’t feel for the characters, why do you care when they are torn to shreds by the zombie hordes? Character development is crucial in these types of stories! You don’t have a strong cast, your story fails.

Overall it a beautifully written story, that comes across very real. You really can see yourself right along for the ride. Smelling the stench of the zombies and hearing the moans at the door.  I would really like to see this as say a mini-series or something to that effect. Maybe on SyFy or something like that. I would like to say I give Rob Fox’s Z Day is here 5 out of 5 Top Hats. It has nothing to do with the fact I’m in it. Shut up! That’s not bias! Seriously though, if you have never checked it out give it a look. It’s available on Amazon, and well worth it!

Until next time,

Malice Psychotik