2011… Coming Soon to a Theater Near You…

Every year brings us a new list of movies to look forward too. Sometimes there are quite a few sometimes, not so much. Everybody tended to think that last year was a bust as far as movies went, but you know i really have to disagree with that. So as I’m making my way through some of the films I caught up on from 2010, why don’t I take you on a flash forward of what yours truly is looking forward to. Basically, a list of what I’m looking forward to. So far I’m seeing a pretty good line up for the theaters for 2011. Let’s take a peek:


2011 is going to mark an incredible year for comic book adaptations! The sheer amount of them are staggering. From the First Avenger to the First X-Men, we have one hell of an action packed year to look forward to. Marvel is coming out of the shoot with Thor May 6th, followed by X-Men: First Class June 3rd, and rounding it out with Captain America: The First Avenger July 22nd. THIS IS JUST MARVEL PEOPLE!! Marvel Studios is going to dominate this summer with a variable onslaught of action. You even have something to look forward to from DC in the form of The Green Lantern hitting theaters June 17th. This is just the  tip of  the iceberg as far as I’m concerned. Four movies in, and there is still so much more.

Sequels, Sequels, Sequels…

This year also promises to turn out a ton of sequels whether it be a second, a third, or even a fourth in the series! 2011 promises to deliver a heaping amount of additions to some of our favorite titles. In May we have Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (May 20), The Hangover 2 (May 26), and Kung Fu Panda 2 (May 27). I really don’t think this is a disappointing prelude to the summer box office season. Pirates so far looks like they are heading in the right direction. On a personal note I thought Kung Fu Panda and The Hangover where awesome movies. Yet, while I don’t see a reason to continue them, I still am excited to see what they are going to do with them.Then from June till October you can look forward to Disney Pixar’s Cars 2 (June 24), Piranha 3DD (September 16th), and Paranormal Activity 3 (October 21). I would also like to mention that Santa will be bringing us a gift in the form of A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas due out the 23rd of December.

Now before you go jumping my case telling me I forgot some, hold your horses I have some special categories for the others. These were more or less movies that I don’t think are going to be the end of the series. Not to mention these are also continuations that I wouldn’t mind seeing…moving on.

* Note: Paranormal Activity 3 has yet to be confirmed. Although the rumors have been floating. So the release date and the existance right now are unconfirmed. Stay tuned…

Blockbuster Finales

2011 will also mark the end to some of my (and I’m sure yours too!!) favorite Blockbuster Smashes. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (July 1) will mark the third and (hopefully) final installment to Michael Bays series. The only reason I say hopefully, is I can’t imagine it going any further. I just think after this one it would be beating a dead horse. Some already feel it is, but hey you have to end it, you can’t just leave it as is. The that same month you have the end of a cinematic giant. A movie series that has dominated the box office for over a decade, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (July 15). It will be a sad day for Potter fans around the globe indeed. But all good things must come to an end. Don’t feel alone Potter fans though, as November 18th marks the beginning of the end for all Twi-hards in the form of the first installment to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. There might actually be more ends to some of the Blockbusters out there, that have actually ended up in other sections of this article. The only reason I did not put them there is because A) it has not been announced as the last. B) It has and I think they are lying. A lot of films have lied in tha past about being the last, so I now am accustomed to smelling shit when it’s in the air (I’m looking at you Final Destination and Saw!)

Wild Cards

To me these are the movies that look like they could go either way. Either they are really going to suck, or they are going to rock your world in ways only a thought possible in the bed room (or the kitchen counter top…which ever is more comfortable!) My pic of wild cards go as follows: Beastly (March 4), Cowboys and Aliens (July 29), and The Thing (October 14). The first in that list I came across rather by chance. It’s a modern spin on the old tale of Beauty and the Beast. You know fancy-pants, pretty boy insults freaky goth chick….she curses him to look like Enigma and Freddy Krueger’s love child. Then he has to have somebody look past all of that and fall in love with him. Did I mention Mary-Kate Olsen plays the freaky goth chick? That second one on the list just looks like it is either going to be really good or really bad! I’m glad to see someone is just taking an out there idea and rolling with it, just not sure if that was the best out there idea to roll with. You also may have notices that the third one mention is the prelude to one of my favorite movies, John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). Only time will tell on this one. I don’t even want to jinx it by making a prediction. I’m sure there are more Wild Cards then just these three. It’s more or less these are the only ones I’m interested in.

* Note: Honorable Mentions here will go to Super 8 (June 10), The Smurfs (August 3), and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (October TBA)

The Dead Horse

These are the movies that I just think Hollywood dredged out of the back catalogue long enough to beat whats left in that poor hoofed beast to pieces. First up, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (February 18). I’m really not sure why they feel the need to keep dragging the fat suit out of moth balls. I really didn’t think there needed to be a second one. The movie really wasn’t the type of movie set up for sequels. While we are on the subject of pulling stuff out of moth balls, Scream 4 (April 15) must be caked in 5 inches of dust. It’s been so long since the third one was released, I’m not sure most people are going to care. The first was a good movie, the second…eh..OK. The Third left such an impression on me, I don’t even recall who was in it. So, I can’t imagine a forth hack at whats left of this lame stallion being anything but awful. That same month will also give birth to the five headed tired beast call Fast 5 (April 29). The  fifth instalment to a franchise that really should have never left the market of a trilogy. Really shouldn’t have gone that far! The first and second were just…cool. I thought I was going to hate the third, but it turned out to be an alright movie. I’ve not seen the forth, and nor do I want to. All of these pale in comparison though to this last disaster. Somebody sold their sole to the devil to be able to make this one (and they better have mentioned it has to be succesful when they signed it away…or they got screwed!) Mission: Impossible…Ghost Protocol is due out December 16th. What makes the studios even think that this is a good idea? I mean didn’t the last one tank? It didn’t make what it cost to make, that’s for sure! I don’t know…all I can say is I’m not going to watch it, and I don’t think you should either. There are plenty other treasures coming out this year. Honorable mentions for this section include: Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (August 19), Final Destination 5 (August 26), and Rise of the Apes (November 23).

* Note: Rise of the Apes is a prequel to the original story line of Planet of the Apes…my feelings over this can only be described in Charlton Heston’s immortal words “DAMN YOU…..DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELLLLLLLLLLL!!”

** Update: A reader has brought to my attention that this is in fact not a prequel but a reboot. That really doesn’t make it any better, but I just thought I would put the correction in.

As you can see it’s going to be a pretty busy year as far as movie goers are concerned. I know if I get to see even half of my picks I’ll be lucky. We will see how things pan out. I’m very curious to see whats going to work and whats going to flop. I have a lot of faith in the comic book movies this year. I don’t imagine any of them actually being a stinker. Unfortunately, most of the ones I listed with my flops are probably going to do somewhat well. If not for the fact that movie goers are going to be trapped by the hype into seeing it. After all, that’s what the producers of these films are going for anyway….

Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,

Malice Psychotik


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