Religion in a nutshell….(as told on ((with more by me))

I was surfing the net one day when I came across this small picture on The picture had a small description on religion and it got me thinking, could all religion be explained in film? So I set out scribbling idea till I came up with this. It was awesome and made quite the little splash on my Facebook. So here it is for you my pets….

How does one explain religion? Well let’s compare it to film….

First you have your Western religions, you know the most famous! Think of it like a movie.The Torah is the first one, and the New Testament is the sequel. Then the Qur’an comes out, and it retcons the last one like it never happened. There’s still Jesus but he’s not the main character anymore, and the messiah hasn’t shown up yet.

Jews like the first movie but ignore the sequels, Christians think you need to watch the first two, but the third movie doesn’t count, Moslems think the third one was the best, and Mormons like the second one so much they started writing fan fiction that doesn’t fit with ANY of the series canon.

Where do the other Religions fit you may ask…

Well you have Pagans/Wicca/Witches, they are more like your old monster movie cult classics. You have to know what you’re looking at to really appreciate it, and most people view them as out dated concepts that need to be remade or revision. However the original following feels that they should stick to the original form. It may have its small imperfections, but that’s what makes it so great. It’s the small things that give it its charm and appeal.

Your oriental religions are more like your typical Japanese/ Chinese/ Korean horror. They are REALLY good, until they are translated to English where they then turn to crap. The dubbing is bad, and the original meaning is lost in an all out attempt to “make it easier to understand”.

Hindu’s are like your fluffy Disney movies, everything has a moral and very few things die.

Scientology is more like those really bad 50’s Sci-Fi movies, they are really fun to laugh at but nobody really knows what they are all about. The graphics suck, the concept is completely unbelievable, and if you show it to a large group 7 out of 10 will pay attention just because the person next to them pretends to “get it”.

Now, you may ask yourself, “But Malice, What about all of the Atheists and Agnostics?” Very simple you see, they are more your critics. Atheists think that most movies are crap, while Agnostics question every facet of the movie. That Ghouls and Gals is the best explanation I can offer you.

Malice Psychotik


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