Hello Freaky Darlings! Sorry for the absence. Been sorting somethings out in my head (Cheshire Cats have problems too!) Anyway, I found sometime in all of that to have a visit to the theater and take a peak at the new Marvel film, Iron Man 3. I was rather pleased I’m so happy to report. So nervous I get when they go on a streak of good movies. That normally means a big turd is on the horizon. Still though, I did find a few flaws with it. Not everything can be perfect right?
Psychotik Review: Iron Man 3
Since this is a sequel in a trilogy of three, my standard rules for a review just can’t apply. So let’s sum up some of the small stuff and get into the film. As usual the casting was good, but you knew that. The only new characters that were of any importance were Guy Pearce as Aldrich Killian and Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin (not that this incarnation was import…you know what later, later…) The visual effects were great, story moved smoothly—ish. Nice follow-up all around to The Avengers and Iron Man 2. Problems then?
Well remember when I added an “ish” to the end of smoothly? Well that’s because a small bit in the middle got a little dodgy. Not to say it was slow, it just got a bit scattered. It’s only for about 10-15 minutes toward the middle of the film. Not a damnable offense, but still worth mentioning. Next part I have to alert people with…
OK I wasn’t thrilled with The Mandarin at all. I was rather nervous about Ben Kingsley to start out with (He’s not Asian!) It get’s sort of better when you find out he’s not THE Mandarin from the comics. Really he is a fall guy. But up until that point you get irked as they make Mandarin out to be nothing more than your common grade, run of the mill terrorist. This is remedied when you find out Ben Kingsley is a Drug Addict that Killian pays to be a face for his “accidental” Extremis detonations. Still…I was excited to see the Mandarin from the comics. This direction of dragging comics into the real world I blame on Nolan’s Batman. You already had aliens, what the hell is the deal with having the Mandarin be a magical bad ass? Hmm….Maybe they will state later he was based off the myth of the real Mandarin. The fake one was wearing the ten rings after all.
My Next issue was the Extremis itself. Although I did think it was cool, I didn’t see the point in changing it. Instead of a type of nanite it’s a bi compound derived from a plant. The route they went wasn’t bad…it just was odd they went that route. You also see the name drop of A.I.M, the think tank company ran by M.O.D.O.K. Now I don’t know if they are going to go further with that. I do know at first glance it seems that Killian is the one running it, but he could also be a fall man himself. You do see him on the phone a bunch of times talking to a higher authority figure. You start to think that it’s the Mandarin, but by the end of the movie, you realize that in no way is that the case. Could he have been talking to M.O.D.O.K? I don’t know, but shame on them for not developing that further.
****End of Spoiler Alert****
Let’s end this on a positive note though. I did like that Stark had his arsenal of suits. Would have been nice to see more diverse powers for each one. The only one you really see a diverseness in power is Mark 42 and IGOR. The remote controlling of the suits are cool as well. Loved seeing Iron Patriot. This is of course another moment in the history of the movies that you hate Sony owning Spider-Man. Just think it would have been cool to see Norman Osborn at the helm. But hey, promise you things happen in the movie that will make you happy none the less with that suit. You even get to see Pepper kick some ass…you’ll see. Last positive I will mention is the after credits scene. It doesn’t lead off to another film, but it is a comedic scene with Bruce Banner himself.
After everything was said and done, I still give this movie a 4 out of 5 Top Hats. It has it’s problems…yes. But it is still a pretty entertaining flick with a high re watch value. Can’t wait for Thor: The Dark World. We will see if that one lives up to the original. It has big Godlike boots to fill…lol.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Psychotik Review: Bitch Slap
Ello’ there poppits! Yer hosts here, Bartleby and Baxter. According to our notes…we’re supposed to do a movie review. Well, Me and Baxter here don’t watch many movies, but I feel the ones we do are pretty good. Keeping that in mind, I believe we will review for you Silent Hill: Revelations. We will….
But wait a minuet Bartleby, how are we both going to talk bout it? How will they know which is me and which is you?
You stupid git! Malice told us to use the different fonts! He already put it in for us. I’m dark grey and you are light grey!
Oh! I see it now…go on then.
Right, anyway we will look at a few things about the movie. I guess how it looks, story, and…well we will just tell you bout it. Not as good about this as the boss. Let’s just get this started eh?
Psychotik Review: Silent Hill: Revelation
Suppose we should start with the story huh? Well the movie starts about 10 years after the first movie took place. The little girl is all grown and she and her Dad have been on the run from the darkness. Did a fine job of it too until the day of her 18th birthday. Her nightmares become true when her Dad get’s taken, and she has to go looking for him. I don’t want to spoil it anymore…
Bartleby, I think you can tell them a little more than that, mate. They can find out more than that on the movie trailer.
Well smart ass! If you think it needs more, you tell em! Tha way when you spoil the movie, it’s all on you!
OK then. Anyway, after her Dad is taken she figures she has to go to Silent Hill. Well the really cool thing is it comes to her! Yeah, she get’s pretty close to the town and while she is in a hotel room…BOOM! the walls melt away and she’s there! OH and I should also tell you that the people from the town are the ones trying to get her back. Apparently she is some sort of like key to stopping Alyssa….Gives me chills saying her name.
Baxter, master never told them about any of tha, they are going to think your scared of a little thing like a movie.
He never told them?
No he never did and now we got to! Here is the smalls of it…Master Malice is a Cheshire Cat. I’m sure you all know that. What that means is he can pop in and out of realities and time lines. We have actually been to Silent Hill…and let’s say where as the movie and the games are good…seeing it in person is a whole new type of fear. We don’t scare easy and it gave us the willies.
Yeah, the movie does do a good job of relaying those feelings of dread…We will get to that in a bit. Where was I? Oh yeah, so Sharron has to face the worst that Silent Hill has to offer. Now that’s how you describe a movie!
Good! then that means I get to talk about the technicals…
But that’s not fair…
Pipe down! The movie is great visually. I really wish we could have seen it in 3D. Would have been fantastic! Their are all kinds of different monsters old and new. Believe it or not Malcolm McDowell also plays a character. Caught me off guard completely. Wasn’t expecting it. Also didn’t expect Carrie-Anne Moss either, but be damned if she didn’t blow me away too. Liked very much that the movie could have used those names as a crutch and didn’t. Work off yer own steam is what I say! The atmosphere is everything you would expect from something with the Silent Hill name attached. Anyway, very accurate to the real deal, I’m sure you’ll love it like we did.
Can I talk about something now or are you going to keep running your crumpet trap?
Well what the ‘ell do you want to talk about?
You don’t know do you?
I’ll give them the rating! 5 out of 5 Top Hats! Not anything too terribly bad to say about it. Give it a look see, trust us you’ll like it!
That’s all we really got…have to get back to the list of things master Malice left us to do on the grounds. The Malicious Manor needs tending.
Yeah, have a good night folks!
Look under Yer Bed,
Bartleby and Baxter
Alright this has been a long time coming, and I’m so happy to be able to finally review this film. As some of you may know who have been with us from the get go…or those of you that like to browse my back catalogue of articles…know about Mr. Hush. I feel so bad that I have sat on this review for so long. I know a few people who have been dying for my thoughts on it (Literally I have been to two funerals over this so far and can’t do it anymore…lol) Seriously though, this has been a long journey and I can’t wait for the next one David Madison set’s me on. Without beating around the bush…and no more around the tush…Allow me to present…
Psychotik Review: Mr. Hush
Allow me to start this off my saying I’m generally not a fan of Independent Films. Most experiences I’ve had in the past were very bad. Not to say that their haven’t been times that I’ve been amazed. Also in saying this though, I’d like to add I’ve come to know what to expect from these movies. Hush stands head and shoulders above others. Let’s not start out with the rating though…I want you all to sweat! The film is about Holland Price (Brad Loree), an average enough guy with a perfect family. This all changes one Halloween night when a priest shows up at his door. According to him, he was taking some children trick or treating when his vehicle caught a flat. He just needed to use the phone. Seems legit? WRONG! I a single instance all goes wrong and thus begins Hollands nightmare. Flash 10 years in the future and Holland has become a drifter that suffers from nightmares of the night his wife was murdered and his daughter disappeared. He still searches for her, clinging to the thought she is still out there. It’s when he stops to settle down a bit…he finds the nightmare…has found him once again.
Before I dive into pro’s and con’s, let me start off with saying this is an independent film, and as such there are some things you have to take into consideration. Independent films are very low budget most of the times. So picking at bad visual effects, shaky camera, and other small details…you can’t really do that fairly. These are present in most if not all independent films. They can’t all have Rick Baker, Tom Savini, or film in an IMAX camera. So if your watching this movie, don’t rate it yourself comparing it to a multimillion dollar flick. At this point you are being unfair. You have to appreciate it for what it is. A throwback to the old horror movies of the 80′s. Something that was done wonderfully. Now that that’s out of the way…Pro’s and Con’s (I’m going to reverse the two so we end on a positive note!)
Really there isn’t much bad I have to say about Hush. The main problems I found was with transitions and character development. Some of the transitions between dream sequences and flashes forward in time are left unclear. It takes you a minuet to gather your thoughts and realize you aren’t really lost. A couple of times it happened and I was like “Whoa, Did I miss something?”
As far as character development goes, you learn a nice bit about most of the characters. Definitely enough to keep the movie moving. I just wish there was more. Some of the relationships that are formed are unclear because you don’t know how much time has lapsed. This con is almost a good thing, because that means the film had characters worth wanting to know more about it.
Ah, a lot of these to be had. But I’m only going to gush over a few. I enjoyed the casting, the story, the ending (the ending is going to have spoilers…but don’t worry I’ll warn you…this is number 1) The casting in this movie is very interesting. This is the first speaking main role for Brad Loree who usually is just a stunt man. I do hope this isn’t his last lead role as he did very well. The antagonistic role is played with a chilling sadistic nature by Edward X. Young. The man plays a villain like no other. He can go from purely calm in demeanor to psycho in seconds. Stephen Geoffreys is like the perfect lackey and very much so a nod to his roles from the 80′s (Fright Night, 976-EVIL). Steve Dash will make you smile from ear to ear as will director Thomas Churchill. Neither one has much screen time, but boy the time they are on screen…you won’t forget them. Watch out for Spoilers ahead….
Story was another thing I enjoyed. It is cut from the same cloth has most horror from the 80′s, but in an original pattern. it’s refreshing to see a call back to when horror was really different. It wasn’t afraid to have comedy. It wasn’t afraid to be a little campy. The dialogue in this movie will chill you in some areas and in others make you have a real gut wrenching laugh (Listen for “You Smelly Fuck!”…your going to lose it and not get it back!! lol) A + for freshness….Spoiler Alert coming up ….now!!!
The ending is really worth mentioning as a pro. You don’t see it coming. Obviously you get their is something off about Mr. Hush. A sort of supernatural quality. What you don’t expect is him turning into a grey shark tooth fanged vampire. You also don’t expect one of the most hilarious vampire staking since Paul Rubens in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Huey Lewis and the News isn’t a bad addition either. I like the twist ending the most. You sort of see it, but it’s not at the front of your mind for sure. Age old vampire grudge over Hollands grandfather killing Hush’s mate? it’s very refreshing not seeing regurgitated ideas.
In conclusion, I give David Lee Madison’s Mr. Hush 4 out of 5 Top Hats. If you’re a fan of independent film, or just wanting to see a good fresh horror flick pick it up! It’s available at Blockbuster and through Netflix by mail. I really can’t wait to see further projects from David Madison. Hats off sir…Hats off! That will be all for today Darlings! Stay tuned for more madness!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
P.S. Did you know Encyclopedia Psychotika has a Facebook? By clicking HERE and liking this page you will be able to stay up to date on whats next on your favorite place for madness on the web! Also…do you like beautiful women but can’t seem to find anything but the stereotypical? Look no further! Your ol’ pal Malice has collected for you a bouquet of rare beauties in their natural state! Find them by liking the Psychotik Girls page HERE
Why hello there Freaky Darlings! Dear me, the recent experiments have been keeping me away! On a brighter note, things should pick up soon around here as I have wired together an interesting substitute for a broken lap top. (Can’t use Cheshire cat magic all the time kiddies…takes the adventure out of life!) Any how, we have a movie review from my dear vampire sweety, Seras Psychotik! We sat down the other day to a remarkably funny cheese fest in the form of Jersey Shore Shark Attack. I considered it to be pretty good for what it was. But this isn’t about what I think….Let’s see what Seras has to say…
A Psychotik Review: Jersey Shore Shark Attack
The Jersey Shore Shark Attack is an Anchor Bay film released in 2012 that is a parody of The Jersey Shore reality television series and JAWS. Yes I know it sounds corny but proved to be quite humorous. Vinny from TJS stars as a newscaster for News Jersey Live. Other stars of TJS are parodied as follows: The Complication aka TC (The Situation), Donnie (Ronnie), Nooki (Snooki), Paulie Balzac (Paulie D), J-Moni (J-Woww), and BJ (Deena). The only star not parodied is Sammie. Guess they weren’t a fan?
TJS acronym GTL (gym, tan, laundry) becomes ASS (alcohol, sun, sex). Not that it’s any different from what they do on The Shore lol. So early on as the film opens you get to see the sharks that cause all the problems. Albino Bull Sharks. White with blood-red eyes. This species of shark generally stays far out in the ocean but are attracted to vibrations. Mayor Palantine (Paul Sorvino), has approved a development on the Jersey Shore that includes underwater drilling thus drawing the albino bull sharks to shore on the 4th of July.
First kill in the movie is very JAWS like. A man out fishing on a small boat is attacked. Immediately, you can hear the squib hiss as blood comically pours and squirts from his neck and upper torso areas.
Things get crazy when there is a “misunderstanding” between the Guidos and the JS Blue Bloods or preppies we’ll call them. A friend of TC, Donnie, and Paulie goes missing after jumping in the water to escape the pursuing preppies. When he isn’t seen again and doesn’t return calls they become concerned and the entire JS gang takes matters into their own hands to find out what happened.
After they enter a restricted area the gang come across a human torso and then the fins begin sailing through the water right at them! A decision is made to steal a boat belonging to head preppie Bradford (Grant from Secret Life Of The American Teenager). Sharks are spotted so they begin lighting fireworks to toss at them. Donnie clumsily drops a lit firecracker into a bag full of them and consequently blows up the boat!
No one will believe them that Seaside Heights is crawling with the deadly creatures. 4th of July festivities begin and as Joey Fatone formerly of N Sync prepares to take the stage they try once more to make someone believe. Joey simply laughs in their face and takes the stage. Joey dedicates a song to all the ladies but before he even begins singing, a shark flies across the screen devouring him!!! Now people believe.One shark is caught and a mic found in its mouth so the mayor is happy to say the shark that ate Joey Fatone is dead and there aren’t any more. He was wrong. So as not to give too much more away, you get to see Nooki beat a shark over the head with a boat paddle which is amusing.
As we come upon the climax of the film, the sharks have banded together to take down the pier. Police start clearing everyone off but of course there are casualties. Brave TC runs out onto the pier where the drilling was being done and manages to shut off the drill. Immediately, the sharks begin heading back out to sea. Newscaster Vinny is excited to report that the Shore is once again safe. Just before a shark flies across the screen and eats him. RIP Vinny. The Shore won’t be the same without you.
My personal scoring of the film is 4 out of 5 top hats. It was very entertaining and kept my attention throughout the entire film. Remember, it’s a parody.
You should really go out and rent this if you can. It’s pretty good for a laugh and entertaining enough. Whether you love The Jersey Shore, Hate The Jersey Shore, or just plain want to see a shark movie…I’m sure you will love it. Stay tuned for more madness to come!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello Freaky Darlings! It’s time for another movie review. I had planned for this to come out a lot sooner. As a matter of fact, I hd a lot of things planned to come out, but this month has not went as planned at all. Plus in the light of Friday’s tragedy, I felt it in bad taste to try to compete with headlines and what you would consider “real” news. On the other hand a good friend and Psychotik Girl that you will all love to meet very soon, Cyanide LaMorte, maybe a little relief from that sort of news isn’t such a bad thing. It’s important to learn the facts, but the media has a tendency to beat you across the face with their dick about it. Keeping that in mind, let’s talk about an awesome president. Let’s review…
Psychotik Review: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
I was soooooo excited when I saw this book was being made into a movie. Such an original concept here. And what a way to get people interested in history. Let me give you a brief summary of the movie. The film (and book) tell you the untold story of Abraham Lincoln. You see history only tells you a small part of the tale. History doesn’t tell you the story of how Honest Abe was a vampire slayer…or the real truth behind the win at Gettysburg. The story is told through the eyes of Abe Lincoln from a young age right up until the night he was shot in Ford’s theater. Lincoln was pretty well thrust into the role of vampire hunter when he witnessed his mother’s death at the hands of one. From that day forward he devoted his life to killing the vampire that took his mother. When he finally is able to kill him, he botches it and is saved by Henry Sturges (A vampire but you don’t know that…yet). Henry takes him under his wing and trains him to become a vampire killing machine. That’s all I’ll leave you with here because you really should watch the movie.
***WARNING! FROM THIS POINT ON THERE WILL BE SPOILERS***
Oh, man where do I start…The visual effects were top-notch. The story is above and beyond fantastic. The casting was really great. Everywhere you look there is something you will love. I’m sure what most vampire fans in general will enjoy is the return to dignity with the vampires. When they are not vamped out, some of them are very gritty seedy looking people. The higher up vampires of course look better dressed but they still retain the creepy air. When they vamp out, your met with a face full of razor-sharp teeth with no remorse. The level of detail in intertwining history with fiction is also a big plus. If you are a history buff you will enjoy yourself. If not, then you will be intrigued enough to look for more info. I think my favorite instance was the explanation of the Civil War and how it was won. In the movie, the reason the South started their winning streak just before Gettysburg was the addition of vampires to the battlefield. To even the score, Abe amasses silver for the Union forces so they are properly armed. Last pro I will offer is the film looks damn pretty. It’s really hard to describe it further than that. The movie just has this quality of keeping you paying attention the whole way through.
I really had to think about this one. My only real big problem…The movie moves to fast in some areas. A few areas in general just feel rushed through and give you the feeling that their was more to be seen here. This may very well be because it’s adapted from a book, even still though it’s kind of obvious and you can’t miss it. I can’t really thing of anything else that bothered me, but then again I’ve not read the book. Maybe once I read it, I’ll go back and visit this again.
Taking all of that into consideration, I give Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 5 out of 5 Top Hats. It really is a good movie, go see it if you haven’t. You will leave impressed. That’s will be all for now Freaky Darlings. Stay tuned for more to come soon. This time I won’t make any promises as to whats next or when…just keep an eye out.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello Freaky Darlings! Good Evening! If you have the fan page liked on Facebook and actually read it, you might recall me saying a little bit ago that the Psychotik Family was going to get a bit larger. Well…let me give you a brief intro to one of the new inmates Lotta Tits…Um Seras is telling my that’s not right…she’s shaking her head…Lotta Stitches! Oh…well yes there are. Anyway, she is a lovely Homunculus that I happened across in Earth Parallel 420…Poor Dear…tragic story…but that will all come in good time Darlings…good time.
Right now I have something a bit different. Or dear Lotta has produced for us a short review on the Blockbuster smash, The Hunger Games. She just loved the absolute shit out of the books and has a pretty good appreciation for the movie. And since things have been quiet around her I figure why not let others have a crack at this, huh? So with no more time to waste…you people get hungry…hungry for….Editor’s Note: There is a good reason she is reviewing this…haven’t seen it…haven’t read it
Psychotik Review: The Hunger Games
Okay, so first off I’d like to just put out there that this is about my 5th time trying to review this movie. Anyone who knows me knows that I am completely obsessed with this series. I’ve read these books about 8 times each and I have SOBBED throughout them all. Seriously, you would think someone just murdered my dog the way I was sobbing over these books.
So it goes without saying that when I try to review the movie, I get so jacked up on details that I completely miss the “review” part and I flat-out give an essay on it. On the plus side, if I had submitted my first draft I’m sure I would make many a high-schooler very happy for doing their book report for them.
But I digress. The Hunger Games is a delightfully violent post-apocalyptic series that centers around an evil government that forces a group of children between the ages of 12 and 18 to fight to the death on a live televised “reality show” if you will, for their amusement. I’m not going to get into how many Hipsters are claiming it’s a plagiarism of Japan’s best seller Battle Royale. There are some similarities, but it IS different. And in a good way. Also there’s a love triangle in there, but it seriously isn’t focused on in a Twilight “Oh I like two boys poor me” kind of way. Katniss would kick Bella’s ass in a heartbeat. And I’d pay to see that.
The movie made its debut at the end of the Harry Potter craze, and right in the middle of the Twilight hysteria That being said, I really feel like the director dropped the ball as far as making this as spectacular as the books. I mean, yes the books are ALWAYS going to be better. That’s a given. But it really felt like the director didn’t even TRY in certain areas.
It’s a slow-paced movie. Painfully slow. There’s little to no explanation on why they are even forced to go into the Arena, who the Capitol is, who the districts are…the list goes on. It can also be VERY confusing if you don’t read the books first. This point was proven to me as I watched it with a group of friends who had never read the book. I ended up having to pause the movie just to give a huge run down on why things were happening.
However if you DO read the books first, well then you’re so let down that you want to punch a puppy. There is WAY too much changed for NO reason. Not even for time reasons. For example, why bother putting a shot of the family cat in there if you can’t even get the description right? How hard would it be to get a friggen’ orange cat?
I digress again. As much as it seems like I’m bashing this movie, I did enjoy it. There were a lot of things that were very amusing to see, such as the Tracker Jacker scene, and I give a standing ovation to the casting department. EVERY SINGLE actor was PERFECT for their role. There were very minor discrepancies, but as a whole, that cast was spot-on. And let’s all take a moment to recognize Lenny Kravitz as Cinna.
All in all I’d give this movie 3 out of 5 Top Hats, as Malice would put it.
There you have it guys and ghouls…Let’s have a round of applause for Lotta Titties….I’m sorry…Lotta Stitches! Keep an eye out for a new section to the site. I will be introducing you to our new family members very soon. Also, keep an eye out for more movie reviews including Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Dark Shadows, Dark Knight Rises, Bathory, and Mr. Hush.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Well Hello, My Freaky Darlings! How did your Holiday go? Good I hope! Well now that Thanksgiving and Black Friday are out-of-the-way, Malicimo is up for some movie reviews. First up, a new personal favorite, The Amazing Spiderman. I was blown away by this film. If you have been paying attention to previous posts about it, I didn’t have high hopes. In fact, I really thought this one was going to be a real stinker. Rather pleasant surprise, I was very wrong. Such a good job was done with this film. So many good things to say…why waste it all on the intro. Let’s chat movie’s shall we?
A Psychotik Review: The Amazing Spiderman
I think it goes without saying, I need to be a little less wordy with my movie reviews. So hopefully, for the last time, I’ll be changing up the format a bit. That being said, let’s talk plot. The Amazing Spiderman is advertised as the untold story. You have the basic plot of Peter Parker gets powers from a special spider (still genetically engineered, face it we know radioactive won’t do that stuff!) A bad decision by Peter, leads to Uncle Ben’s untimely death. And Parker learns with great power, comes great responsibility. It has all of that…and more! First off, we have a change in love interest. That’s right guys and ghouls, no Mary Jane Watson this time round. This time we have the beautiful Gwen Stacy (Played by the very pretty Emma Stone). I should have probably mentioned first the fact we have a plot with Peters Parents (this is where the untold story comes in.) Apparently, Mr. Parker was one of the best genetic scientists at Oscorp (Yes, Oscorp plays the role it’s supposed to as a big bad mean corporation). Dr. Parker and Dr. Curt Connors were apparently working on splicing animal genes with human genes to cure different ailments. Something happens, and Peters Mom and Dad have to leave in a hurry. Flash forward a couple of years and Peter finds his Dad’s hidden documents. This prompts him to sneak into Oscorp, which prompts him to sneak into a restricted area full of genetically engineered spiders…which get’s him bit (we all know the basics of what happens) Moving on, Peter impresses Dr. Connors by using his Dad’s formula to finish what he’s working on. Of course as you know, comic book rules state something must go wrong….and it does and Connors becomes the lizard. Really, you should watch the movie from here, because I don’t want to ruin it!
What did I like? A lot really! The casting was..eh eh hmm…Amazing. Andrew Garfeild makes a perfect Spiderman. He has the charisma, the attitude, and a certain gusto that makes him leaps, bounds, and web-slings above Tobey Maguire. Emma Stone plays a much better love interest as Gwen Stacey than Kirsten Dunst. Sally Feild as Aunt May is a little awkward at first, but she grows on you. Martain Sheen gives a new level of depth to Uncle Ben. You don’t just get to see good ol’ Uncle Ben, you get to see a more realistic side of him. He’s not this glorified father figure, you see some flaws in him…it’s more grounding. I don’t know where to start with Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors. Couldn’t picture a better person in the role.
The way that they handle Spiderman in general is a big plus. Finally, we have a Spiderman that offers the quips and one liners we all love. That was always something that killed me with the Rami films. The suit takes a little getting used to. I can tell you the one thing that irks me most about it they fix in the game. A simple addition of a red utility belt ties the whole thing together. The thing I love most about the movie that i didn’t think I was going to is the Web-Slingers. Yes, the film actually acknowledges the fact Peter is smart and likes to invent things. Watch in one scene where you can see a door lock invention in his room. Although he doesn’t create the stuff that is turned into web (that’s actually a Oscorp invention. Little pills that contain liquid steel that can be turned into a cable). But, he does create the device that spins it into webbing. Last thing I’ll mention…his super strength. Most people may not realize this, but Spiderman is pretty freakin’ strong…this time it shows and manages to add some rather humorous moments.
Last but not least. The Stan Lee cameo. I’m not going into much detail, all I will tell you is when you see it you will shit awesome bricks…and laugh for days on end. Best one…ever!
As far as things I didn’t like, the list isn’t that long. The only things I can mention is one scene at the end and how the lizard looked. I just feel he could have looked a little better, maybe a little more sinister looking. I mean he was ok, but still out of all of the incarnations of the lizard, he could have been better. The scene at the end I’m talking about is…eh hmm…wait a minuet…
The scene where Gwen Stacy is trying to create the antidote for the Lizard…virus? Either way, she is making the antidote and trying to keep Lizard out of the lab. In a last-ditch effort she pulls the trigger for the Halon Gas System. She then proceeds to run through the gas to the other end of the room…effortlessly…and hide in a closet. Well it was all for not, as the system failed to deter the Connors in any way. My Problem? Halon Gas removes all of the oxygen from the area, in this case the room, to extinguish fires in a lab. It’s really the best way to kill a chemical fire. In no way would she or Connors…two oxygen dependent organisms…be able to survive the room without the aid of a gas mask. Now I could be wrong, it could have been some other system…but to the best of my knowledge, systems like this are always halon…and that is what it looks like. If I’m wrong correct me.
Well, I’m going to stop here with my verdict. The Amazing Spiderman gets5 out 5 Top Hats. I really thought I was going to hate this one. I really thought it was going to stink. Thank you for proving me wrong…an epic Spiderman movie is possible. Hat’s off Darlings…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
P.S Make sure to watch after the credits for a scene you won’t want to miss…could the next film involve my favorite Spiderman villain Green Goblin…only time will tell….
Happy October, My Freaky Darlings! It’s that time again! The joyous time of year where all of us freaks, madmen, monsters, and weirdos feel are just a little more accepted (Not that it really matters!) Well, a week ago we made our annual trip to Halloween Horror Nights. I have to say another great year down, was a shaky start at first with lack of website among other things. They really surprised me this year though. Not to say it was perfect, but definately some of my favorite houses. I will warn, this year I didn’t make it to the shows. Funds being what they were, we just couldn’t go Express (Something that will be remedied next year!) The last couple of years though I haven’t been too impressed with Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure anyway…so no big deal. Would have really enjoyed 20 Penny Circus, but alas it wasn’t in the cards. Let’s stop the dilly with the dally and jump into this thing huh?
No Escape…Halloween Horror Nights 22
7) Universal’s House of Horrors- I really wanted to like this house more. I loved the concept, I think there was a lot of room for good scares. I did receives at least two really good scares. I just think it could have been better. What made me have a bad taste about this one? Simple! The house scenes and everything were done in UV paint. I know what they were going for, trying to make you feel as if you were walking into the living film, it just could have been better. In fact, I really feel houses like this are lazy. To top it off, there was no facade. You just walked into the beginning scenes which were very much like the beginning to All Nite DIE-in: Take 2. What was the reason for this house being so thrown together? Again…Simple! Remember a couple of months back when I reported that the seventh house was going in SS44? I have no proof, but it’s my opinion that this house really was thrown together pretty quick. I never did find anybody who posted a building permit for that location. Also looking around, the floats that were supposed to be housed in that area were next to it in a rather temporary storage. Not bad if they did throw it together last minuet…but it had room for improvement.
6) Alice Cooper: Welcome to My Nightmare- This house was a lot better than people give it credit! I love Alice Cooper and his style of shock. This house displayed that nicely…Alice’s own personal brand of madness. Why so low on the list then? Well that’s just how good the other houses were! I managed to go through with a real energetic cast. You had twisted nurses, asylum patients, angst teens, and of course Steven and Alice. The theory was you walked through several of his greatest hits showing the personification of the songs themselves. My only real problem was I wanted more! I think the one in Hollywood was better. I know they wanted to make it different, but maybe they should have made it the same. At any rate, don’t miss it…Alice will know! (P.S…Keep an eye to the writing on the walls for a hint to what you are about to see next. If you’re an Alice Cooper Fan…you’ll know.)
5) Silent Hill- First house of the night and really set the pace. I love Silent Hill and I love this house. I was in total fanboy overload!! The nurses, the music, the other creepy tidbits…every Silent Hill fans dream. Even managed to catch Pyramid Head, which Seras tried to take home…I think she scared him. The best parts are the opening scene and facade, the janitor scene (which is very disturbing to say the least), and Pyramid Head. Really wish there would have been more of him. You did have a mess load of nurses though…I suppose that made up for it. Room for improvement? Maybe a little more energy on the scareactors part. As far as design wise, Universal possess tech to make it ten fold scarier. Maybe when they optioned the rights, they got a few more years out of it…and this won’t be the last we will see of good ol’ Silent Hill. One could hope! Either way…don’t miss it!
4) Penn & Teller New(Kd) Las Vegas- For a funny house this was higher on the list because A) it was trippy B) it had surprisingly good scares C) the interactive aspect D) Penn and Teller paid my $40 bucks to bump it up! LOL Just Kidding…they gave me $10 and thats why it’s #4! Anyway, this was the best of the typical fun houses I have been though. For years, Psychoscarapy: Home for the Holidays was my favorite…this house dethroned it. In this house you will find everything you love about sin city…everything you love horribly irradiated with nuclear waste. You see, Penn and Teller aren’t the kind of people to let a little thing like nuclear waste get them down…NO!! In fact the see the wonderful opportunity to turn a negative into a positive…and make some cash on the side. My favorite parts in this house is the kitchen scene and then the wedding scene. Both got me good…some more than others…Seras. Would have been higher on the list if we would have went the week before when Penn and Teller were actually there!!! Would have been number one!!!
3) Gothic- You know I almost skipped this house? We were running low on time, and so far all night I hadn’t heard any good things about this one. We ended up lucking out though and hit Gothic and Dead End last minuet…I would have been mad if I had missed it. I was taken away by how cool this house really was. You really felt like you walked onto the site of an old cathedral being renovated. So many good scares…I really lost count! Kudo’s to the Gargoyle that got into the Italian “Eh!” match with me…you made my night. I absolutely loved the candle scene, the catwalk scene, and the nice midnight stroll on the roof. You will be scared in this house and you will be taken away by the beauty at the same time (Pretty much how they get you! Bait and Switch!) This house again proving that Uni doesn’t require fancy movie and TV properties to scare the crap out of you…however…the next house sort of ruins what I just said…
2) The Walking Dead: Dead Inside- This is THE perfect zombie house…never will there be anything more accurate for a zombie house or scarezone. So many emotions felt in one house! Universal was able to bring to life The Walking Dead in a way I never though possible. The scenes that you walk through are every bit as iconic as they are in the show. You really never know when a walker is going to come at you. Could be here…could be there! The very end is my favorite part. Let’s say…i think they were lying when they said House of Horrors had more scareactors in a single scene…wait till you get to the end of this one. Without giving too much away…let’s say your personal bubble is greatly reduced and if you are afraid of zombies…your going to love this. Don’t miss it…as a matter of fact…go through it twice!!!
1) Dead End- Well we are at the end of the count down…may favorite house of the year. Another one I nearly didn’t get too. Boy I’m glad I went. Really wish I could have moved into this old house…it has a certain character…By character I mean it scares the piss right out of you at every turn. By far the most scares in one house all night. This is why it got number one!! Could tell whether it was all the things that weren’t what they seemed…or the glowy white ghost that get’s you at every turn…but this house just got me! And that’s rare!!! Do not…and I repeat…do not miss this house! It will become your White Buffalo. I can’t even peg down a favorite scene it was that good. I suppose the scenes with the glowy white ghost were the best…BEWARE OF THE GLOWY WHITE GHOST!!!
I will touch on this real quick. I wasn’t big fan of the idea of roaming hordes of scareactors. The no scarezone idea had been tried before in 07′ and failed horribly. This year made me a believer. You never know who is going to catch you and where they are just kept moving all night. What I thought was even cooler was the music queue was moving all night. They actually moved the sound track to fit who was in the area…nice touch. I also loved that fact that when I was amongst the vampires…I was mistaken as scareactor…like 20 times! Had three pictures taken of me…(I hope they caught my good side!) I really wish I would have gotten more pictures of them for you, but that night was hectic…little one was sick, no express passes, having to rush whilst being worried…pictures were just not on my mind this year. I will add what I have though to the Encyclopedia Psychotika Facebook page though if you want to have a look. I think my favorites ended up being the Vampires (Real surprise there!)
In closing, this was a good year to go. I definitely felt like it was money well spent. Can’t wait for next year, and wish I could go again this year! As I said i was not able to hit the shows. My dear friend Samhain however was able to hit Bill and Ted, so maybe she will be so kind as to send me a small review. Also!! I will be collecting some reviews from our fellow cast of weirdos that went with us, and post them as well…why just take my opinion on the night…right? (Hee Hee That rhymed) Stay tuned for more madness to come!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
P.S I re-preposed to Seras under the archway to the cemetery….SHE SAID YES!! CONGRATS TO ME!!
Hey there Darlings! I was chatting with someone there other day about The Avengers, when all of the sudden….I realized I left out a few things. In my defense I was having a really hard week that week. Lot’s of bad things going on…lot’s of things on my mind. I’ve had time to clear my head though and now I would like to go back to those missed topics if you all don’t mind. I know, of course I know most of you can’t go long without reading my words. Well enough about me…
***FROM THIS POINT ON, LOOK OUT FOR SPOILERS***
One of the things I would like to do is expound upon Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. I barely talked about him, and he had such an awesome part in the movie. It totally blindsided me when he ended up as the one turned by Loki. He spent over half the movie as a bad guy, it just caught me off guard. I also have to say I’m a fan of the outfit. At first, I thought I would hate it because of how greatly it was scaled back. When you think about it though, in this continuity, he is more an agent for S.H.E.I.L.D first. It just doesn’t make sense for him to have a costume. Maybe in a later movie they could add it in then, but for this one…it was fine the way it was. Oh, and before I move on…to the guy out there that was ripping on Jeremy Renner’s ability with the bow. It looked spot on! If it was awkward in a few parts, it was probably because the shot was technically impossible. I think some people get to wrapped up in the movies that they forget for a moment that these are all based on fiction. To each their own I suppose.
I also forgot to mention the very last scene of the movie. Well both of them. The first after credit scene rolls after the primary credits. You see the alien leader talking to someone about how the humans are not a species to be reckoned with (Go us!) Now I had heard rumors before I went to the movie that the ending had something to do with Thanos. The aliens did look a little like him in the lower jaw, so I figured maybe it would just be a very small hint. Well, if you consider small showing his full face in view and him grinning creepily at you small…then yeah I guess it was. I was blown away! What a choice for a villain, The only question is…which film? Will it be in one of the upcoming ones like Thor 2, Iron Man 3, orCaptain America 3? I don’t know, I kind of think they are going to wait until the next Avengers film. The last post credit scene came at the very end of the credits. That one was a little bit of funny. The set up came a little earlier in the form of a comment by Stark. Right after he snaps out of it from his free fall, he mentions how they all need to go to a swarma place he knows about up the block. the director felt the joke was just incomplete without a pay off. So after the premier, he rounded up all of the actors and shot the scene to tack it on at the very end just for us (Thank you Joss!) It speaks volumes and is really one of those scenes you either get it or you don’t.
Final thing and I leave this alone for a while (doubt it will be long) the soundtrack. My first thoughts after listening to the soundtrack was…MOTHER OF GOD (takes off sunglasses)…It’s so freaking good it ain’t funny. Weird thing is their are bands on there that I would have never listened to in a million years. The crown jewel of the soundtrack ends up being the track “Live to Rise” by Soundgarden. I don’t remember ever being a huge fan of Soundgarden, but I do have fond memories. Plus, it’s always something to talk about when a band makes a song for the first time in 10 years. I really don’t think there is a single problem with it…of course that’s just my opinion. Give the video a check below.
Sorry I didn’t get this all out the first time! Like I said I was just a little preoccupied. I hope you all have an awesome Memorial Day! Be back soon!!!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello Freaky Darlings! It’s official if people don’t quit getting sick I maybe forced to vaccinate the world! Seriously, the amount of people getting sick or dying is too damn high! Through the midst of it all though, I was able to see The Avengers last week. I wish I could have gotten this review up a lot sooner, but things what they are it was IMPOSSIBRU!!! Even still…I’m here now giving you the down-low that I’m sure you have either heard already or seen somewhere else (I’m hanging my head ashamed…ASHAMED I TELL YOU!) So without anymore waiting…here it is…
Psychotik Review: The Avengers
I really have nothing bad to say about this movie! While I have been waiting to type this review, I have honestly been wondering what the heck I was even going to say! I think I will just say what most others have said, THE MOVIE IS FREAKING AWESOME!!! I laughed, I cried, and I jumped for joy. It was so great finally getting to see all of the Avengers on the big screen at the same time. My Fanboy button was pressed repeatedly. The film was perfect…but what makes a perfect film to me? Well, I have three things I usually grade on. They are Story, Visual Effects, and Casting. Then again, those are the basis for most reviewers. What makes me so special is I grade on the intended audience. Why grade a movie that plays toward action and comic book fans the same way you would grade a movie like Titanic (Yeah, Academy! I’m looking at you!) This film was perfect for it’s intended audience and more! It sort of transcends boundaries.
Let us start with the story. I was really taken away by the amount of thought and effort put into the script. I really think the whole team attached to the Avengers should walk away with all of the awards. So many levels of action are put in motion. The forming of the Avengers, Bruce Learning to deal with The Hulk side of him, Loki Vs. Thor continuing, S.H.E.I.L.D coming into full focus, The Alien Invasion, on and on and on etc. etc. etc….It was almost too much to take in all at once. I really don’t want to get too descriptive, because this is oe I feel most will need to see (or at the very least should see!) Besides the trailer speaks for itself as to what the movie is about mainly. Instead of my usual shtick, I will offer this. Every movie element you can possibly think of is used to its full potential. You have Action as the base pallet to work on! Then a healthy splashing of comedy, a generous touch of drama, with a little refreshing hint at suspense. In a small case you could say a small accent of horror (creature creation was some pretty damn good!) All of this comes together to paint the Mona Lisa of superhero flicks.
Next thing I must touch on is the casting. Over the last couple of years Marvel has really out done themselves in this department. Robert Downey, Jr. is the absolute real life equivalent to Tony Stark. Chris Hemsworth “verily” brings to life the Norse God of Thunder like no other. And Chris Evans looks far better in Red, White, and Blue than flames. However, we all knew those were coming. The real test of casting were the newer characters added to the fray (and also the characters that up until now have only carried supporting parts.) One of the main new faces I want to mention is Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner. I was a firm believer that Edward Norton was the best choice for Bruce after seeing 2008′s The Incredible Hulk…was being the operative word. Mr. Ruffalo is everything that the character was meant to be! He still maintained an awkwardness that the character needs, and at the same time brought out Bruce’s serious side. He is everything that you could possibly want in The Hulk’s counterpart. I do hope that the part sticks and that they plan on a Hulk follow-up project. Let’s not forget to also mention Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye and Cobie Smudler’s as Maria Hill. Mr. Renner, regardless of some unwarranted criticism, commands a well-balanced Hawkeye. While Cobie Smudler actually makes Maria Hill kind of likable (If you have ever played Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 you know what I mean…you hate her in that game!) Honorable mention also goes to Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. That man adds so much bad ass to an already bad ass character!
Last, but not least, I’ll touch on the Visual Effects. By far the best I’ve seen, especially in a Marvel movie. The aliens were out of this world…pun intended…Seeing the S.H.E.I.L.D Helicarrier brought to life was amazing. Everything was just so…EPIC! The crown jewel of all the effects has to be The Hulk. Finally after years of trying we have a perfect form. Countless amounts of man hours were put into this version. Not only does it completely include Mark Ruffalo’s likeness…BUT…the model also has the most human look outside of Lou Farrigno! I also liked the choice in not making him cut and ripped all the time. Maintaining a sort of average feel and then arching up to completely shredded. It was a nice touch that added so much to the movie. I really wish there was more I could go on about, but one character in particular I happened to be pleased with would give away too much. JUST GO WATCH THE MOVIE ALREADY!! JEEZ!!
To close this big mama’ jamma’ of a review to a close, I give Marvel’s The Avengers… 7 out 5 Top Hats. That’s right…7 out of 5! I’m giving them the 2 that Human Centipede 2 had in the negatives (Come on an equivalent Exchange had to be made somewhere…) Now all of that being said, I’m going to bed! I’m tired and I want to sleep…Have a good day my Freaky Darlings…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
p.s enjoy this music video by Sound Garden…First one in YEARS!!!
Now that i have your full attention, Greetings! I’ve been so busy lately thinking up new material, taking Grandma places, entertaining the little one, and saving Singapore from a deadly armored robot racoon….((Deep Breath)) that I have had hardly anytime what so ever to write an article. After watching that abortion Human Centipede 2, I found myself on a search for a good movie. Luckily, I found one! Really I had been meaning to catch this flick for quite some time. Since last Halloween Horror Nights to be exact. Most of you regular readers may recall it was featured as a haunted house at last years event (For those of you that are clueless, you probably just happened by this site. THAT’S OK!! But do be a doll and go back and read the review for Halloween Horror Nights 21….and for the love of Cthulhu, like it and subscribe!!!) Needless to say, I finally found time to watch it. It’s actually rather good. Normally, I find myself spouting off rants on how Hollywood needs to stop using the previous round of horror movies as a crutch instead of justing relying on their own talent. With this movie though…well if Hollywood would follow suit with this kind of treatment…I would like it very much. This prequel to John Carpenter’s masterful remake was a true delight. With that said, let’s dig into this review!
Psychotik Review: The Thing (2011)
As good as the HHN version of this movie was, I needed to see it with my own eyes. It was a damn shame I didn’t get to see it while we were in Orlando for HHN 21. I would have loved to do this review way back when. But time being what it is, there never does seem to be enough. So was the wait really worth it? Yes…Yes I feel it was. I now also see what others were saying some of the problems with the house were as well, but I’m not here to talk about HHN…thats for another time. The Thing offers some fantastic visuals along with a great storyline that meshes well with the source material. Normally, when dealing with a classic like John Carpenters version, it’s very hard to come up with anything new and hold true to the original. Not a problem for this installment. Not only does it stay within the confines of the material, but it expands a little answering some unanswered questions from the original. The great thing is, John carpenter sign’s off on it meaning that it is all cannon to the story. Pretty sweet eh?
My favorite part of horror movies are the visual effects. While I did enjoy the use of CGI for the creatures in this film, I also think that they relied a little to heavy on it. Supposedly they did use practical pieces, but they glamoured it up a little too much with effects. You really can’t see where most of the practical creatures are! I know that it is an unfortunate side effect of the computer driven world we live in…I get that. I just wish most directors wouldn’t underestimate the use of creature actors and well placed puppeteer. I don’t want you to think that I was completely unimpressed, but I felt they could have been a little better. It would also be terrible of me, and a crime, if i didn’t mention the set design (it’s included in visual effect damn it!) The level of detail with the recreation of the Norwegian station is just staggering. As the events play out, you really start to see it take shape into the disaster that MacReady and crew explore. Pay close attention to everything that happens and then watch the original. It is sure to tickle your fanboy or girl funny bone!
Next important part is always the story. I really wasn’t expecting much. I kind of figured all of there was going to be to like was the visuals. You start to kind of get the set up as most prequels of this nature. You see new characters that only mirror characters from the original. But this one takes a few twists. When you think you know whats going to happen…BAM left instead of right and you find yourself in unfamiliar territory. So kudo to the writers! An example of this…Hang on…
There is a point in the film when you get to the familiar scenario of needing to find out who is a Thing and who is human. Well they go with the set up of doing blood tests just like in John Carpenter’s. Similar to the other, the scientific approach is ruined in the form of the lab being destroyed. This is the bait, here’s the switch! Just when you think they are going to go for the ol’ “Heated wire to the blood trick” you get your added cannon. Earlier in the movie, the main protagonist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), finds some fillings in the bathroom where a Thing took someone over. She comes to the realization that the alien cannot replicate inorganic matter. So she tells everyone to open their mouth so she can look for fillings. Naturally, it’s not perfect. But it provides the perfect set up for a familiar scene with a new twist.
My verdict? I give it 4 Top Hats out of 5. The movie presents with a nice story, good acting, pretty good effects, and some epic visuals that bring back fond memories. Well that’s all for now my Freaky Darlings. Stay tuned for more madness to come.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello, My Freaky Darlings! I’ve had a crazy last couple of days. In those couple of days I managed to watch…Human Centipede 2. That was really not the most constructive things I’ve done either. Let me say first, I pride myself on the ability to look at movies objectively. I used to be really bad about saying, “If you don’t like such and such you don’t know what a good movie is!” I’ve grown past that and am now able to look at it from the other side. Normally, I can look at a movie I like and see why others don’t like it. I can also see it from the other perspective if I don’t like it. Not this one. I had such high hopes for this one. There was pretty good buzz about this flick passing it’s way around the internet. Let’s just say, I learned a hard lesson in not believing the hype. I have so many things to say, and I’m not sure any of them are “good.” I think first though, before I share my full opinion on Human Centipede 2, I should share my feelings on the original.
The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
I went into this film with the highest hopes. A horror movie that had not only a disturbing concept but was also medically possible! What could go wrong? Apparently a lot! One of my biggest problems with this first film is how the film drags on. The story really doesn’t focus enough on elements that would have added depth to the story, and too much on explaining the procedure. It’s almost like, as cool as it was that it could happen…it’s not necessary to the story to know every detail. I was also annoyed by the fact that you never know “why” he wanted to make a human centipede. What purpose was there? This German Scientist comes up with the process and everything, and there really is no purpose. Oh, and before anyone says, “Well that’s what makes it scary! Not having a reason! He’s just a nut case!” BULLSHIT!!! That’s a copout and an excuse for poor writing. In My opinion, that only further discredits the film. I just could never understand how you could go through all of the reasearch to make the film medically possible and write as poor of a story as this film had. You didn’t even have character development for crying out loud! Eli Roth had more character development in Hostel and horror critics tear that movie apart. Yet somehow, the critics all band behind this movie…it’s rediculous. On the Top Hat scale, I give this one 1 Out of 5 Top Hats.
Now for the main Article…
Psychotik Review: The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)
You know I really don’t know where to start. This movie was just so damn awful! A total train wreck! The only reason I kept watching was because I couldn’t look away. There is just so much wrong with the whole thing and it doesn’t even matter what your vantage point may be. Let’s just dissect this thing already! Starting with the plot and story. On paper it sounds like a really cool idea. I wondered when I first heard of a sequel how they were going to do it. The original wasn’t really set up for a follow-up, but hey I’ve seen people do more with less. Yeah…looking good on paper is about all the idea was. The plot follows mentally handicapped and sexually abused Martin, a parking garage attendant and Human Centipede fan. More obsessed than anything, it strikes Martin that he should make his own Human Centipede. That in mind, Martin starts gathering victims from the parking garage. Even goes as far as to acquire a room for his “experiment” (killing the landlord in the process.) But how is he going to make his creation with no surgical tools or knowledge? Oh…well we will get to that in a moment. Sounds like a good movie huh? Let’s peel away the sugar-coating shall we?
The only thing that saved the original in the slightest with me was the realism. The procedure was medically possible! It could be done with the right know how. With this movie you no longer have the freaky mad scientist. NO! You have a short, fat, mentally handicapped dude that shits his pants, and wanks with sandpaper (Yes, I’m not kidding he jacks it with a piece of fucking sandpaper!) He doesn’t even talk, the most you get is a squeal. The whole element of reality is lost completely through the whole film. Nobody ever looks for the disappeared people. It seems like he’s the only one that ever works at this parking garage. All of the people he captures he either shoots or beats about the head. Their is so much blunt force trauma in this movie, the only centipede he should have made was a mashed centipede. Don’t get me started on how the centipede was made. The only scientific part seemed to be when Martin found out if he tried to do it right with what he had (cooking knives, duck tape, pliers, a hammer, and more duct tape) the person would die and bleed out. Speaking of bleeding out , everyone of the people in this “experiment” have been, at this time, beaten over the head, stabbed, and/or shot. They have all been left alone in a dark room with no food, no medical attention, and no clothes for days. I’m really not sure how they are living at this point. The only ones that die are the ones he kills during the “procedure.” Anyway, back on track. Once he finds he can’t do the deed accurately. He then stretches each of their lips to what seems to be unnatural lengths, somehow effectively stapling them all ass to mouth. How the staples hold up as long as they did I’ll never know. Most staples I’ve had the displeasure of working with pull right apart! Not to mention the fact there was no way the stapled bent over to hold. They should have pulled out with no effort at all. In the end, he only really seems to have created this…I’m tierd of saying it…his “Beast of 12 heads up 11 Asses,” is to make it shit. Which, by the way, with the addition of laxative he achieves his goal…in record time! He manages to send a turd from the head of the beast, to the back in 1 miuete. To sum it up, we have traded science for the horror equivalent of dick and fart jokes.
Next, I figure we can talk about the action and characters a bit. To sum up the characters, you don’t know shit about them. And you know what? You don’t care either. You have Martin, whom I’ve already described to you. Then you have his abusive mother, the sexually abusive voice of his father in his head, his sexually perverse doctor, and his pet centipede. Did I mention the people that become the centipede!? You know nothing of these people other than face value. Why is that you think? Oh yeah, maybe because the director doesn’t give a crap about them and as far as he is concerned, neither should you. As far as action, you have a lot of gore but it is all very repetitive and not that interesting. Besides why should you care!? You know nothing of any character in this movie, and therefore have no stake in what is going on. No killer to love, no victims you want to watch die…or visa versa! In the words of Willy Wonka, “YOU GET NOTHING!!! GOOD DAY SIR!!” Before I leave the topic of gore and go to the final verdict, let’s address one scene in particular. There is a scene in which the pregnant woman who you think is dead springs back to life. She goes running like a bat out of hell to a car parked outside. You realise, the reason this particular woman has sprung back to life is she’s in labor. Well, she gets in the car while Martin (covered in shit and blood) chases behind. When she gets to the car…Wouldn’t you know it…sum bitch won’t start. This is when it get REAL stupid. The woman pauses for a minute and starts to push. A few screams later, the baby plops out crying in the floor. Instead of her picking the child up, what does she do? If you somehow guessed turns the key and stomps the baby’s head into the gas pedal leaving a bloody gooey mess in it’s wake…then you guessed right! Congrats! Your as fucked in the head as our dear director Tom Six. Kindly put this pipe leading to that running car over there in your mouth and breath slowly. Your prize will come shortly (Ha Ha Ha! I kid….no not really…your a sick and twisted little screw ball…and you shouldn’t be allowed to procreate!) BACK ON TOPIC!!! After the woman does this, it’s as if smashing a baby’s brain into the floor board is the magical spell to start a car, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT DOES IT! What did that part bring to the movie? Why was it there? Was he high when he wrote this? Was he reading a dead baby joke? This brings me to my closing thoughts…
My conclusion is this, Tom Six is an awful director. I’m serious, the fact this man let this movie see the light of day has made me lose what ever shred of respect I had for him to start with. It’s as if he sat down to write the script for this movie and said to himself, “Well, I already have a fan base. So what ever I do they’ll like!” That was when he stroked his dick and thought of the most random sick and twisted elements he could and tossed them into one movie. This movie has made me want to revisit other movies I had been rather harsh on in the past. You know, give them another shot! For now, I have seen what a horrid movie looks like…and this is it! The Psychotik Review rating I give to this big mud monkey is -2 Top Hats out of 5. Yeah that’s right, negative 2! I want my life back that I wasted!!! Don’t waste your time on this garbage. Your support is better appreciated with people like David Madison and Thomas Churchill.
That’s all for today my Darlings! Sorry for the gap. As I said on the Facebook, I’m in the midst of an eczema break out and the hands don’t work so well. Thank you to those of you readers that expressed concern and good wishes! I love you all, and you’re the reason I keep this site a float. Have a good night!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
It has been a long time coming, but in less than a month, all Marvel Fan Boys get to collectively jizz their pant’s. May 4th is the release date for Marvel’s The Avengers and I couldn’t be happier. Marvel Studios has really impressed me with the casting job on these recent films. From Iron Man to Captain America: The First Avenger, Marvel has been on a freakin’ roll. As I have been waiting patiently for the event to role around, I have found myself going back and revisiting the films. (I got tired of watching the damn trailer once a day…Ah, who am I kidding I LOVE WATCHING THAT TRAILER ONCE A DAY!!! I’m now currently watching the Disney Cartoon, Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes!) I know I’ve reviewed most of them before, but why not go back and review them in retrospective? Sure…why not!? Let’s start at the beginning….
A long time ago….Approxamatly 4 years to be exact…
Iron Man (2008)
I was really excited when I started to hear about this flick. I remember the first bit I read was that Robert Downey, Jr. was to play the lead. That alone had me sold! RDJ IS Tony Stark! I wasn’t too thrilled to see Jon Favreau Directing. At that point I had only really seen him act (and he wasn’t exactly my favorite!) Still though, the movie was a hit in my book. Marvel needed something to renew faith after X-Men: Last Stand. Looking back on it, I am able to say that Don Chaedle is a much better Rhodes than Terrance Howard. I love the way they handled the suits in the movie. From Mach I to III, and even the Iron Monger, I was greatly impressed. The way that the story progressed also had a nice touch. For the first time, Marvel managed present an all-inclusive origin movie that had little to no problem (Not to mention the this is the first peak we get of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. As far as I’m concerned, it was perfect! Their was still another Avenger film that came out that year though…
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
I was so pleased to see this film get the proper treatment. The one from 2003 was just…awful! The CGI was bad, the story was drawn out and boring, and I really didn’t care much for the actors. Normally I hate remakes, this was an exception. Ed Norton was an excellent Bruce Banner. Very reminicent of Bill Bixby, the orginal Banner from the 1978 series (If you pay attention, a TV screen at the very beginning offers him a cameo.) The movie gives you a short montage of how everything happened, and through flash backs in the middle of the film you get the origin. Thank Cthulhu, because I don’t think anyone needed to sit through a long drawn out origin story. He was hit with Gamma Rays. He became the Hulk. He’s running from the government. End of origin, let’s get to the meat and potatoes shall we? Liv Tyler offered a very loving Betty Ross just as William Hurt offered a very hateable General “Thunderbolt” Ross. Don’t get me started on Tim Roth. First, let me start off with I loved the choice for a villian. Abomination was way better than that screwed up version of Absorbing Man Nick Nolte played. The transformation from Blonsky to Abomination was a great part of the story. Before I leave this alone, let me add that the visual effects were…”Incredible”…I do undertand this movie had 5 years up on the last one, but come on! Even in 2003 they could have done better than what they did! It’s really a shame that Ed Norton won’t be reprising the role…but hey you just can’t get to greedy. Even in the film business…We shall see what Mark Ruffalo brings to the table.
Iron Man 2 (2010)
It was 2 long years before the next Avenger movie would come out. But boy was it worth it! Iron Man 2 was an incredible follow-up to the 2008 hit. As mentioned before we saw a change-up in casting with a new Rhoads (Not a bad thing.) We were also introduced more to S.H.E.I.L.D and the Black Widow, as well as introduced to a new villain…Whiplash. Now, if you go by the comics, Whiplash is a rather throw away villian. Marvel Studios really saw some potential when they designed him for the movie, and Micky Rourke did a superb job of bringing the character life. The story was even better as it showed the self-destructive side of Tony Stark (Even though it wasn’t the PSA for drug abuse that the comics offered!) This movie is a corner-stone in my Marvel movie collection. Really I can’t say enough good about this movie. I still wonder if they are going to flesh out Whiplash eventually as Crimson Dynamo. In comic book history Ivan’s father, Anton Vanko, was the original creator of the Crimson Dynamo armor. Whiplash was Ivan Vanko…but then again he did get blown up…but laws of comic’s unless you saw a corpse…it probebly didn’t happen (even then you have to suspect!) We shall see…
I really wasn’t expecting much from this movie. I went to go see it simply because it was one of the Avenger movies. Other than that, I didn’t have the highest hopes for the film. I left the theater a Thor fan. Most of the time I kind of viewed Thor as a silly superhero. I think most of it had to do with the way he talked. It just kind of made me laugh. The movie did a great job of telling the origin of Thor…but at the same time it didn’t make it feel like your typical origin story. Most origin stories have that drag to them at least in one section. Not this one! No, your attention is kept from beginning to end. They even manage to throw in a love story (Better than Twilight…sorry had to make the joke!) The choice of Chris Hemsworth kind of had me shakey, but I feel he really did the role justice. Anthoney Hopkins was the BEST decision for Odin…HANDS DOWN!!! This movie also brought us what seems to be the primary antagonist in The Avengers, Loki. I don’t know where they dug this dude up from, but he is really good. I really can’t view anyone else to play the Trickster God. Might I also go on the record saying this, wasn’t Heimdall the only Asgardian that had “Bad Mother Fucker” on him? That was the best way I could have seen him played! As cool as Thor was though…their was one more movie that year…
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
This was unfortunately the only one I didn’t get to see in the theater. It was either Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 or Captain America…I chose Harry Potter (Hey man, I was aching to see the sequal…it was necessary!!!) I was shocked and amazed with the level of detail put into this film. The casting was spot on, the CGI was top-notch, and the story was well told. One of the coolest things about it was it had that sort of old-time war film feel to it. I enjoyed it. I loved the casting of Red Skull. Hugo Weaving is one of my favorite actors. It just made so much sense. I was also impressed with how they handled making Chris Evans smaller. That definatly took me by surprise. The last thing I will mention before I leave the subject is how impressed I was with Chris Evans portrayal of Captain America. At first I wasn’t to hopeful. Evans is more known for his comical roles, not serious ones (He was Human Torch in Fantastic 4 for crying out loud!) No after seeing his performance, I can’t picture a better Captain!
That about wraps it up. I suppose all we have now is to wait for the movie to come out. I wonder if they are going to have a few cameo’s from future Avengers? They are kind of missing Ant Man, Wasp, and Black Panther. I guess we will just have to wait and see. All I can tell you for now is that Iron Man 3 is due out next year. The following year, April 2014 to be exact, will be the follow-up to Captain America: The First Avenger. Only time will tell, But I’m thinking this one is going to beat the pants off what ever else comes out this year.
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Ha Ha Ha! Hello, Freaky Darlings! Welcome to another Psychotik Review. The subject of tonight, the creepy craze sweeping the horror community, Insidious. This was a hard movie for me to review. It took me some time to organize my thoughts about it. I didn’t really know how the movie made me feel. I’ll get into all of that below, the most I will say before we get into this is: For once I have a movie I’m reviewing that I can actually dissect….
Psychotik Review: Insidious
The story starts out with a pretty regular concept of paranormal activity and moves to a more interesting one. You have some basic bump in the night sort of stuff, cheap thrills really. Then you move into the main act when one of the main characters little boys falls into a strange coma. You immediately get the feeling this coma is completely paranormal. Unless of course you think the ghosts and other activity have nothing to do with it. It get’s so bad our family moves to another place. Big surprise, it doesn’t go away. You are introduced to some rather cool characters through the course of all of this mess (I’ll get to that in a minuet). The story comes to a head when a psychic is called and she reveals a family secret that the father is astral projector as well as the boy. You see what happened is, the boy projected away from his body and is lost. It’s all up to super dad to go on a hunt through “The Further” to find his little boy before some ghost or a little Red Faced Demon (Code Named Darth Maul Demon…Seriously, check it out) posses’ him.
Now That I have that out of the way, let me explain what I thought of it. The plot is a good one…if only it would have decided where it was going. To me the movie felt like it was all over the place. Like it just kept jumping around without ever resolving anything. It was entertaining, but there was one spot toward the end that I was just like “How the hell did we get here?” That’s not the actors fault….Not even really the Director….thats more a writing sort of thing. Unless of course the Director cut a few scenes that would have made more sense. You just never really knew who the real threat was. It sort of settles on it…and then it just totally goes out of the way to piss on that as well. You’ll get it at the end.
(Here’s the trailer…maybe it can give you a better idea as to what the movie is about…I doubt it…)
This is where I can give them a lot of credit. The movie really did have top-notch casting. Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye…even the creature actors J. Larose, Joseph Bishara, and Philip Freidman. They all do a wonderful job with the roles they have. I more give credit to Lin Shaye and her team of paranormal investigators…they were awesome. The creature’s did a good job at their being creepy. The old lady and The Long Haired Fiend are the things that horror legend is made of! I just wish they would have had more screen time. J. Larose and the Demon were the most frighening. They just didn’t offer them enough screen time. Again another problem with direction and writing…On the whole though, I say Acting was a big plus.
My overall opinion of the film is it interesting but unorganized. It looks pretty, the concept is good, the creatures and ghosts are well done…but I just can’t get over the scatter-brained feeling it gives as well. I also would like to add that James Wan doesn’t deliver on attempting to be Sam Rami. I’m not kidding! Seriously, watch it and tell me you don’t get the feeling for a second Sam Rami Directed this. Maybe he was doing it as a nod to him, but I know it doesn’t work for him…It’s really good thought if you’re looking for a creepy cool time. I might also add that the use of “Tip Toe Through the Tulips” by Tiny Tim gave it a few creepy scenes. My only question is how they used it. The first time you hear it, a record player turns on and it’s playing. Why the hell did she have that just sitting on the record player? More importantly…WHY DID SHE HAVE THAT RECORD!? The second time is when that little Red Faced Demon is sharpening his nails….yeah by the way that Darth Maul Demon has a souped up Freddy glove…Oh, and apparently we also find out that a gas mask is a viable psychic tool…I’m not making this shit up…
The movie get’s a solid 3 out of 5 Top Hats. It really wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t that good either. Definately don’t go into it expecting a horribly frightening thing. I had to wait to do this review to form my own opinion because I went from the hype and was grossly disappointed. Think I was too harsh…Click Here for an alternate point of view!
That’s all for tonight Darlings…do stay tuned for more madness to come your way. Hopefully some short stories soon. Definately another review or two….
Until Next Time My Freaky Darlings,
P.S. I found this scene while looking through YouTube. It had potential to be a very eerie scene, but due to poor judgement in cinematography, the scene is only visible if you are looking for it…This will show you a perfect example of my frustration with the films delivery on scares…enjoy!
All things must come to an end, funny thing is this series already did! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 marks the end of over a decade of Harry Potter films. I would say that this saddens me greatly, but if you think about it, the time to be sad has come and gone. The last book was released awhile back…at the very least it sucks there is nothing new to look forward to in this series. Still it is with great pleasure I find myself reviewing the end of Harry Potter…Let’s head into this bad boy….
***WARNING: Spoilers Ahead!!!***
Psychotik Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
There are so many good things about this movie, I find it hard to pin down just one. I do believe however, I will start with the story and work me way to the overall effect…
This installment has to be the most action driven out of them all. Your really left craving more with each scene. From the Gringott’s escape to the final showdown with Voldemort, your not left with very many slow points. The parts where the action does back off you are left with overwhelming dramatic scenes that keep you fully emerged. I would also like to add that this movie, like its first part, follows very close to the book. The only parts that are really deviate from the book are parts that have to do with scenes left out to start with (Ex. The fate of the elder wand and the epilogue). All in all it’s a very over the top action based drama that will leave you wanting more even as the credits roll. The only thing I will offer you is I have not read the final book in full. I have read parts, and most of the parts I have read are featured in this movie. That being said, I was impressed by the level of attention to detail in the scenes I read. Seldom do you see that in a written word to film adaptation (Ex. See most other films based off a book including some in this series!)
The only way I can describe the visual effects in this movie, is to tell you I was blown away. HP7:pt2 has some of the best visuals of all 8 movies. When you watch, look for one of the earlier scenes with the Dementors surrounding Hogwarts.The scene is one of the best visuals in the whole movie and really sets the somber mood. The Battle for Hogwarts was just too much (But in a very good way). Top this with the fact I watched it in 3D! Might I also add it was nice to see that some people are finally getting how to do the 3D effects. When the 3D fad first came back, so many movies just threw stuff together with no intention of it looking well in 3D (Ex. Clash of the Titans). My only regret is not seeing it in IMAX. I can only imagine how stunning that would have been…
If you haven’t already noticed that these films have some of the best actors in the world (If not just the best choices for the characters) You haven’t been paying attention. I was thinking a few years back about how dramatic the last movies were going to be, and found myself wondering if these kids could pull it off. I’m proud to say in this particular movies you will see some of the best performances of the main three and even some of the veteran actors. I couldn’t have been more taken away by the performance and emotion that the actors and actresses showed in this movie. If this film doesn’t sweep the academy next year, it will cement my theory that the damned thing is rigged! Honestly, Top Hats off to the cast of this movie and this series…
I’m sure you can only guess my opinion of the movie overall being in since I have done nothing but gush over it from the beginning of this review…The whole thing fits together rather nicely to make one of the best films of the summer. Sumer 2011 has given us a lot of big Blockbusters, with still some more to come as the season winds down. As much as I would love to say one of my favorite Marvel movies took my personal award for best film of the summer…I’m going to have to say Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 takes it! Action, Comedy, Drama, a Dash of Horror, and pinch of Suspense…this movie has it all. It’s with great pleasure that I give this film 5 out of 5 Top Hats…and believe me when I say I would be content with giving it 6…
Sorry I sat on that so long My Freaky Darlings, but I will tell you more about wat has been going on in my life later this week. For now I say I hoped you enjoyed this review. If you haven’t seen it yet, go watch it! If you haven’t watched any of them, go jump on the fad now and become apart of the sensation before we all hurt you! Ha Ha…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
My Freaky Darlings it does appear that the Summer Box Office season is upon us! How did I kick it off? With Marvel Studio’s new installment….Thor! What a way to start this summer off it was. I was really impressed with this move. Especially taking into account I didn’t think it was going to be that good. I’m not really a big fan of The Mighty Thor comics, and just really thought the character a pretentious prick! (Yes, I know, He’s supposed to be that way at first) I’ll tell you, if you felt the same way I did about ye olde God of Thunder, this movie will make you do a complete 180! At any rate…allow me to organize my thoughts a little better and paint a much better picture for you in this…
Psychotik Review: Thor
Jeez, where do I start with this movie review. The whole damn thing was just so great, it’s to hard to pick. I suppose I could start out with the story line. As most of you may (or if you haven’t been paying a bit of attention) don’t know, this movie is about Thor. Thor is the norse God of Thunder, or at least sort of is in Marvel. You the see, the Asgardians are moire beings from another realm, one of nine. More or less, they helped us out in war against these other realm beings known as The Frost Giants. Because of that help, they became revered as Gods. This story is the first words of Sir Anthony Hopkins, who might I add plays a FIERCE Odin, as he tells the story to his two sons. These two sons of course are Thor and Loki. You than flash forward to the day that Thor is supposed to take over as King of Asgard. However, as things go in story’s like this, it doesn’t happen. “Somehow” the Frost Giants get into Asgard undetected by the all seeing Heimdallur (who is EPIC!!). Long story short, they are destroyed by “The Destroyer,” an Asgardian machine seemingly made out of metal and flame, and Odin just wants to leave well enough alone. Thor doesn’t see things the way his father does. No, he wants to bring the fight right to the Frost Giants and teach them a lesson. Odin of course tells him no, and as you might have guessed by the fact that there is a movie, he doesn’t listen. Thor and his legendary warrior friends head out to the land of ice to pay these big blue giants a visit. Things start out good but quickly turn to an all out shit storm. Odin comes to their aid, not very happy might I add, and takes them all back to Asgard. Thor and Odin get into a father son squabble that ends in Odin stripping Thor of his power and banishing him to Earth. Odin then throws Thor’s trusted hammer Mjolnir after him telling the hammer that “Whoever wields this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” It’s now up to Thor to learn his lesson on Earth and gain back his powers to save Asgard and Earth from certain peril.
*Anymore questions check out the trailer below…
What I liked: OK, so I’ll admit that was a rather long summary. Belive it or not that is only the first 30 minuets of the movie! There is one hell of a story in this film, and every bit of it keeps you glued to the screen. Never do you hit a slow point in the movie, which is rare to see. The character development is very solid, letting you even get to know Thor’s warrior friends! Casting was absolutely superb. After seeing who was cast as the new Spider-Man, I have to say I lost faith in Marvel’s casting ability. Let me assure you that if this movie is any prelude to what Captain America: First Avenger will look like, I’m already on the edge if my seat. I’ll also add that the movie’s 3D was excellent quality, unlike some 3D movies I have seen. Visual effects and action sequence were top-notch as well, rounding this movie out to be in the top echelon of Marvel Movies.
***WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD***
Oh, before I leave this section, watch for little throw backs to the comic and a guest appearance from another Avenger. The coolest throw back to the comic is when Jane gives Thor his mortal clothes. Turns out they are her Ex-Boyfriends, and his name is Dr. Donald Blake, MD. Incase that didn’t press your geek button, that is the human bound name of Thor in the original comic. The throw back becomes even more hilarious when they have to make a fake identity for Thor using the name to get him out of S.H.E.I.L.D custody. The next little easter egg is in the form of Hawkeye. Pay very close attention to the agent that grabs the bow and arrow to stop Thor’s break in to the Mjolnir crash site. The agents name is Clint Barton. It happens so fast that you keep wondering, until you hear the name. A nice little addition to a great movie.
What I didn’t like: Not much! Really the only thing I disliked was the little tail scene at the end of the movie. I was really looking forward to a lead out to Captain America: First Avenger. Instead, you are left with a sort of villain hint. Somehow Loki is either possessing or influencing Erik Selvig. Nick Fury gives Erik a sort of box with a device in it. He says that if the device is fixed it could tap into unlimited power. I’m not sure what the device is, but I guess they did have to start hinting off to the antagonists in The Avengers movie, just wish the scene would have made more sense.
* Watch the video below and make your decision…
At anyrate, I give this movie 5 out of 5 Top Hats! If you haven’t seen it yet, I implore you to find a way. Excellent story, great effects, superior casting, and all the other little things that make a summer blockbuster great helped me to this rating. Make sure to stay tuned for my finishing of my older reviews from a couple of months back….
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
You know in retrospect I feel I sit on my content a little to long. I apologize for this. The last little bit has been nuts. Trying to find ones place in the world and juggle to many things at once can really kill you if you let it. Fortunate for me, I have people around me constantly that act as muses. Top that off with my special girls that have this really cool ability to center me and make me see what is more important in life. So you may be saying “OK GET WITH IT YOU SLACKER PIECE OF CRAP!!!”…I’m getting to that SO LAY OFF ME WILL YA’!?…
Most of you that were in Florida last month…more acuratly Orlando…Know what was going on. The annual MegaCon convention took the Orange County Convention Center by storm, and turned I-Drive upside down. I’m not usually one to go to MegaCon…not that I haven’t wanted too, I just never end up going. This year was a little different though…This year they had my idol there Stan “The Man” Lee of Marvel Comics Legend. So I just had to do it. There were also a few things I was wanting to cover on Universal Orlando, so it gave me the perfect excuse to pack up the Psychotik clan on a ROAD TRIP!!! Even when things were looking grim, a good friend (Todd) stuck his neck out to help make it happen. I saw a lot of really cool things. Some good, some funny, and some really irritating! But it’s all here, in this review on my March off and on in Orlando…
MegaCon, Mardi Gras, Harry Potter…Oh My!!!
The best way for me to do this, is to break it down into sections. So let’s start at the beginning…
Section 1: Once Upon a Time…At Mardi Gras Universal
This year I had the distinct pleasure of enjoying Universal Mardi Gras twice in one month. This year like my last visit was pretty top-notch. The food as always was good. Now I didn’t try any of the “Authentic Cajun Cusine” for what ever reason I just wasn’t into it. They did however have these really cool twisted potatoes on a stick. I got one dipped in Garlic butter, and it felt like a sin eating it! Speaking of a sin, the drink for this year was Voodoo Juice. You know I really can’t describe it to you other than saying it was a Rum Runner with extra fruit and booze chased with a Full Throttle stinger…Basicly, I could see myself going crazy overboard with the stuff while not being supervised. As sure as I am that most would love to see a rather blitzed, super-charged Malice…Mardi Gras Universal Orlando is not the time or the place.
The band line-up this year wasn’t too terrible. It just seemed we never got to see the one’s we wanted. We were there the night Lynard Skynard played, but we didn’t stay. I only like two songs and one of those they open with the other they end with. I’m not staying for the in-between, I just don’t care enough. The next day we had went that month Blake Shelton was there, and to that I say: HELL NO!! I wouldn’t have minded seeing the B-52′s, OneRepublic, or 30 Seconds to Mars. Things being what they were, the timing was all off. Oh well, I guess there is always next year! It would be really neat if they could get Pat Benetar again. Culture Club is touring next year, so you never know…maybe we will see them…(Leave me alone Culture Club is awesome to chill out to!!)
Lastly while I’m on the subject of Mardi Gras, I will mention the parade. As always it was a sight to see. The Psychotik family has lots of fun, and caught lot’s of beads (The little Psychotik, poor dear, caught some with her face…) This year seemed to not really be a theme but more like the best of the last few years. I had only really went to 2008 before this one, and then they had all of the different Mythological lands. This year had a few of them, but also had some other very interesting ones as well. I have seen pictures of the other ones, so like I said I think it was just a best of kind of thing. I have a video for the parade I will post below. It was from the beginning of the month. I was going to try for a better one the second time around, but it seems I’m always filming the damn thing or taking pictures. I never get to enjoy it, so the second time i said to hell with it and caught me some beads!!!
* Editor Note: Unfortunatly due to a lot of problems I am unable to embed the video of the parade here….HOWEVER…I offer you the link to it on the Encyclopedia Psychotika Facebook page… Enjoy!
Section 2: I Spit on Your Con….MegaCon 2011
In the anime/manga Full Metal Alchemist, they talk about the laws of equivalent exchange. To gain something you must first give something in return. I find this holds true to good times. For every truly awesome time you have, you must first hand over a BIG disappointment. That disappointment was…survay says…MegaCon 2011. If you know anything of the guests that were supposed to appear at MegaCon 2011, you might ask yourself how it was such an utter fail? Well my darlings, let me just say you weren’t there.
The big draw for me this year was going to be meeting my idol in the flesh, Stan “The Man” Lee. It was going to be the peak of greatness for me, the God Father of Marvel comics was going to be in Orlando!! Needless to say, me being there had to freaking happen. So I’m all psyched up! I got the little one (I couldn’t miss letting her meet him too!) We get to the show sign in. There were some awesome costumes I must say. Add that to the giant pirate ship in the middle, and the S.H.E.I.L.D team promoting the hell out of the new Thor movie, it was looking pretty cool. The guest list was top-notch. You had names like Stan Lee (God-Father of Marvel Comics), William Shatner (Capt. Freakin’ Kirk), Lou Ferrigno (The Original Hulk), Doug Jones (Abe Sapien, Silver Surfer, Epic Creature actor), Vic Mignogna (Epic Voice actor for over 100 different Animes), James Marsters (Spike from Buffy and we will just forget about that live action Dragon Ball Z movie nonsense) , Colleen Clickenbeard (Very talented voice actress), Kevin Sorbo (Fucking HERCULES!) , Arthur Suydam (Cover artist for Marvel Zombies)…these are all just to name a few of the massive guest list this con promised to have. But what could possibly wreck this good time? The same thing that can wreck most shows with a guest list this massive…NO FUCKING ORGANIZATION!!!
Honestly it was awful! The lines for some of these guests were an amorphous blob. They had virtually all of these high draw guests in a small area. When I say small, I really mean small! We are talking no bigger than a Hot Topic! Will Shattners ques went right through the center of it all, making things even more chaotic. As they day went on it just got worst. I had to walk out of Vic’s line because it wrapped the room 3 times and was at a stand still because no one would come organize it. Poor guy, I felt bad for him. Wasn’t his fault. And just to give you an idea who Vic is to anime fans, he is like a Shattner or a Lee. The con should have planned for his line. The biggest upset though, I’m going to have to devote a whole other paragraph to…
The big question when I got there was…Where the hell is Stan Lee!? This was a question that stuck with me for nearly three hours. No staff could answer me, hell they couldn’t even find a con guide so I could find it myself. No, I found the con guide (In a food section I might add!) From there it still took me a good 20 minuets to find him off in a separate room away from all the madness. By the time I had got there they had already line capped it. The bald gent that was there did tell me however I could wait in a little line in the back for about 30 minutes and they would tell me whether or not they would let more people in.I waited for 45, and 15 minuets later I saw the people I was in line with walking the walk of shame. You know it might have been a good thing to post on the website that there would be a limited amount of signatures. The did have were to could pre-buy them, but the way they advertised them was like you would be able to no matter what and weren’t limited by the con closing or such. Not that “Hey, you better buy these, because we cap that shit at 11:30 AM…” Needless to say that was a bust…
Moving on to other aspects of the show, they didn’t shine for me either. Most of the vendors were just hocking crap. I didn’t really find anything of interest and when I did it was something with a price jacked way up that I just didn’t need. There was a very cool vendor in the back that had all kinds of picture ops for Star Wars fans. They even built life-sized remote control R2 units. The people there were all very cool (save for a stuck up group of Trekkies, but that was expected!) The costumes I saw were very cool. I’m always fond of cosplayers. Really the best parts of the show were spending time with my little girl who was a champ, and one of my best friends and college Seth (Video Below). It will be rather sketchy as to whether or not Malice Psychotik will go back to this show. I will have to have nothing else going on, and just be going to screw around mostly. In a small defense for the show, I was there on Friday. But to pigeon-hole that defense I was not the only one complaining this was the worst year for organization anyone had ever seen. Moving on…
The Biggest Man at the show:
Section 3: Repairs, Rebuilds, and a Regal Review
Let’s end this little review on a rather high note shall we! Back to Universal Studios Orlando, my home away from home. There was a lot of stuff going on from February to April other than Mardi Gras. Yes, lots of rehabs and rebuilds and let’s not forget that Wizarding World of Harry Potter still drawing record-breaking crowds. I hadn’t really got to go until my little March trips, so I’ll take the time to review it here. Really sorry that most of this info is late. It doesn’t make sense to do the research and not post the article until 2 months later. At least it will be out in time for any summer crowds that may be making USO it’s vacation spot.
First, let’s talk about the Incredible Hulk Coaster’s rehab. For the first time since I think the park was built, the coaster finally got a fresh coat of paint. Even if you are not a regular visitor to the park, it was getting a little hard to deny the ride needed a fresh coat of paint. Especially when you get to the back part of the ride. The track looked very rusty and didn’t encourage much faith that it was kept in repair. Really it surprised me that they let it go this long. Below there is a slide show showing off some spectacular views. I even have a shot of what was the last pieces not painted yet. I’m sure by now the whole thing is done and looking great. It still runs fantastic! Not that a paint job has anything to do with that. Rumor has it that it may go under a little more of update soon, but that is for a future article.
My next ride of interest was Dudley-Doo Rights Ripsaw Falls. The ride under went a massive overhaul because of a fire that damaged a good portion of the ride. It was actually pretty fun going on this one, as I hadn’t really gone on it since the park opened. I can tell you based on that, they did a fantastic job restoring it. It was like nothing had changed in 12 years. The restraint system was a little funky, but ultimately improved on the experience a little (for those of you that avoid log flumes because you hate the “Free Fall” experience). The ride is real laugh riot and trip down memory lane for old school Rocky and Bullwinkle fans. You really have to love that the ride throws in not just one, but multiple false drops. I highly recommend that if you have never checked it out, you really should. Especially with the hot, HOT summer ahead. A good drenching goes a long way in the Florida heat.
Last point of interest I will touch on in…you guessed it…The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. To start out with, all I can really say is there are no words to accurately describe the experience. If you are a fan of the books you’ll love it. If you are a fan of the movie’s, you’ll love it. Hell, if you know nothing about it, it will make you want to learn more…AND you’ll love it!! The shops are overwhelming with all of the props and tiny details that make the whole experiance..pardon the pun…but magical! I was in that part of the park 5 times and still never got to see all it had to offer. Everytime I went through I found a new detail I missed. I know in the future I will have to devote one whole day to doing a comprehensive review. For now though, I offer you this run down:
1. Shops: The shops are an attraction all on their own. From candy to wands you will find all the things you have dreamed of having from the Potter universe. The candy shop was my favorite. Be sure to pay attention to the price tags though. I pretty confident that you could go broke easy in Honeydukes Sweet Shop. I did not get a chance to do Olivander’s because of the massive lines for this attraction. I will say on a down side that you will have to prepare to wait in line to get into many of the shops. Try to hit this part as early as possible.
2. Dinning: I was really disappointed I didn’t get to enjoy a meal at The Three Broomsticks. I will tell you from the reactions that I heard, that there weren’t any displeased customers. Everyone praised the food and loved the atmosphere. I did get to try the infamous Butter Beer. This comes highly recommended and get’s the Encyclopedia Psychotika seal of approval. Make sure to try both frozen and regular to see which you like. I prefered it more as a drink than a slushy.
3. Attractions: Here is where it get’s really fun. there are three rides in the WW. Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Dragon Challenge, and the Flight of the Hippogriff. The Dragon Challenge is of course the old Dueling Dragons. They did a very cool job re-theming the castle to become the ground of the TriWizard Tournement. The only thing I was confused with was I thought they were re-themng the tracks and the cars. So far, it still appears to be the Fire and Ice even thought they call it the Chinese Fire Ball and the Hungarian Horntail. Maybe that will come later. At any rate it is still as awesome as ever. Flight of the Hippogriff is actually much more fun with it’s new theme. It’s very cool seeing an animatronics Buckbeard bow to you before you take off. Nice touch, and it get’s the little Psychotik’s approval! Last but not least is the amazing Forbidden Journey ride. It goes without saying that walking into Hogwarts pumps you way up for the ride. You might even say the que is an attraction all on its own (I know they do offer you being able to walk through and then just exit the building without riding. My only problem (besides the oversized arachnids!) is the restraints. They really are not that accommodating to the larger masses. I do hope they plan on fixing this. If somebody of my size has trouble riding, your harnesses are WAY to small. It just doesn’t make sense that I can ride The Hulk or even Dragon Challenge no problem, yet this indoor dark ride throws everyone issues. Come on Uni, get it together for your plus size fan boys and girls!
4. Atmosphere: The over all feel of the island is breathtaking. Whether it is being greeted by the Hogwart’s express or standing under the massive Hogwarts castle, you are just stripped of your descriptive vocabulary. Pay attention the shop windows for little extras here and there. Better yet pay attention while you are in the store’s because they are just as rigged up! The street performers and the actors are very good and very dedicated to bringing you the best experience possible. defiantly a must see if you are in Orlando anytime soon.
*Editor Note: I’m not sure if it was done all to recently, but I did notice that the Monster Cafe on the Universal Studio’s side was looking mighty fancy. I do know there was talk of it going under much needed rehab, but I can’t remember when…at anyrate I have some pictures included in the slideshow for it…Enjoy!
Really this was my whole March! I have even more that I will touch on in a week or so. Rumors of new attractions, upgrades, replacements, and hopefully a Halloween Horror Night rumor or two by then. Unfortunately the site I get most of my rumors from is down right now. I’ll leave you all with this small assessment for the month of March: Universal Rocks my world and MegaCon smells like Turd!!!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Every year brings us a new list of movies to look forward too. Sometimes there are quite a few sometimes, not so much. Everybody tended to think that last year was a bust as far as movies went, but you know i really have to disagree with that. So as I’m making my way through some of the films I caught up on from 2010, why don’t I take you on a flash forward of what yours truly is looking forward to. Basically, a list of what I’m looking forward to. So far I’m seeing a pretty good line up for the theaters for 2011. Let’s take a peek:
2011 is going to mark an incredible year for comic book adaptations! The sheer amount of them are staggering. From the First Avenger to the First X-Men, we have one hell of an action packed year to look forward to. Marvel is coming out of the shoot with Thor May 6th, followed by X-Men: First Class June 3rd, and rounding it out with Captain America: The First Avenger July 22nd. THIS IS JUST MARVEL PEOPLE!! Marvel Studios is going to dominate this summer with a variable onslaught of action. You even have something to look forward to from DC in the form of The Green Lantern hitting theaters June 17th. This is just the tip of the iceberg as far as I’m concerned. Four movies in, and there is still so much more.
Sequels, Sequels, Sequels…
This year also promises to turn out a ton of sequels whether it be a second, a third, or even a fourth in the series! 2011 promises to deliver a heaping amount of additions to some of our favorite titles. In May we have Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (May 20), The Hangover 2 (May 26), and Kung Fu Panda 2 (May 27). I really don’t think this is a disappointing prelude to the summer box office season. Pirates so far looks like they are heading in the right direction. On a personal note I thought Kung Fu Panda and The Hangover where awesome movies. Yet, while I don’t see a reason to continue them, I still am excited to see what they are going to do with them.Then from June till October you can look forward to Disney Pixar’s Cars 2 (June 24), Piranha 3DD (September 16th), and Paranormal Activity 3 (October 21). I would also like to mention that Santa will be bringing us a gift in the form of A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas due out the 23rd of December.
Now before you go jumping my case telling me I forgot some, hold your horses I have some special categories for the others. These were more or less movies that I don’t think are going to be the end of the series. Not to mention these are also continuations that I wouldn’t mind seeing…moving on.
* Note: Paranormal Activity 3 has yet to be confirmed. Although the rumors have been floating. So the release date and the existance right now are unconfirmed. Stay tuned…
2011 will also mark the end to some of my (and I’m sure yours too!!) favorite Blockbuster Smashes. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (July 1) will mark the third and (hopefully) final installment to Michael Bays series. The only reason I say hopefully, is I can’t imagine it going any further. I just think after this one it would be beating a dead horse. Some already feel it is, but hey you have to end it, you can’t just leave it as is. The that same month you have the end of a cinematic giant. A movie series that has dominated the box office for over a decade, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (July 15). It will be a sad day for Potter fans around the globe indeed. But all good things must come to an end. Don’t feel alone Potter fans though, as November 18th marks the beginning of the end for all Twi-hards in the form of the first installment to The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. There might actually be more ends to some of the Blockbusters out there, that have actually ended up in other sections of this article. The only reason I did not put them there is because A) it has not been announced as the last. B) It has and I think they are lying. A lot of films have lied in tha past about being the last, so I now am accustomed to smelling shit when it’s in the air (I’m looking at you Final Destination and Saw!)
To me these are the movies that look like they could go either way. Either they are really going to suck, or they are going to rock your world in ways only a thought possible in the bed room (or the kitchen counter top…which ever is more comfortable!) My pic of wild cards go as follows: Beastly (March 4), Cowboys and Aliens (July 29), and The Thing (October 14). The first in that list I came across rather by chance. It’s a modern spin on the old tale of Beauty and the Beast. You know fancy-pants, pretty boy insults freaky goth chick….she curses him to look like Enigma and Freddy Krueger’s love child. Then he has to have somebody look past all of that and fall in love with him. Did I mention Mary-Kate Olsen plays the freaky goth chick? That second one on the list just looks like it is either going to be really good or really bad! I’m glad to see someone is just taking an out there idea and rolling with it, just not sure if that was the best out there idea to roll with. You also may have notices that the third one mention is the prelude to one of my favorite movies, John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). Only time will tell on this one. I don’t even want to jinx it by making a prediction. I’m sure there are more Wild Cards then just these three. It’s more or less these are the only ones I’m interested in.
* Note: Honorable Mentions here will go to Super 8 (June 10), The Smurfs (August 3), and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (October TBA)
The Dead Horse
These are the movies that I just think Hollywood dredged out of the back catalogue long enough to beat whats left in that poor hoofed beast to pieces. First up, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (February 18). I’m really not sure why they feel the need to keep dragging the fat suit out of moth balls. I really didn’t think there needed to be a second one. The movie really wasn’t the type of movie set up for sequels. While we are on the subject of pulling stuff out of moth balls, Scream 4 (April 15) must be caked in 5 inches of dust. It’s been so long since the third one was released, I’m not sure most people are going to care. The first was a good movie, the second…eh..OK. The Third left such an impression on me, I don’t even recall who was in it. So, I can’t imagine a forth hack at whats left of this lame stallion being anything but awful. That same month will also give birth to the five headed tired beast call Fast 5 (April 29). The fifth instalment to a franchise that really should have never left the market of a trilogy. Really shouldn’t have gone that far! The first and second were just…cool. I thought I was going to hate the third, but it turned out to be an alright movie. I’ve not seen the forth, and nor do I want to. All of these pale in comparison though to this last disaster. Somebody sold their sole to the devil to be able to make this one (and they better have mentioned it has to be succesful when they signed it away…or they got screwed!) Mission: Impossible…Ghost Protocol is due out December 16th. What makes the studios even think that this is a good idea? I mean didn’t the last one tank? It didn’t make what it cost to make, that’s for sure! I don’t know…all I can say is I’m not going to watch it, and I don’t think you should either. There are plenty other treasures coming out this year. Honorable mentions for this section include: Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (August 19), Final Destination 5 (August 26), and Rise of the Apes (November 23).
* Note: Rise of the Apes is a prequel to the original story line of Planet of the Apes…my feelings over this can only be described in Charlton Heston’s immortal words “DAMN YOU…..DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELLLLLLLLLLL!!”
** Update: A reader has brought to my attention that this is in fact not a prequel but a reboot. That really doesn’t make it any better, but I just thought I would put the correction in.
As you can see it’s going to be a pretty busy year as far as movie goers are concerned. I know if I get to see even half of my picks I’ll be lucky. We will see how things pan out. I’m very curious to see whats going to work and whats going to flop. I have a lot of faith in the comic book movies this year. I don’t imagine any of them actually being a stinker. Unfortunately, most of the ones I listed with my flops are probably going to do somewhat well. If not for the fact that movie goers are going to be trapped by the hype into seeing it. After all, that’s what the producers of these films are going for anyway….
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Over the last two months I have been doing a rather large amount of catching up. I was way behind with movies, and needed to get up to date on what I had been missing. While I was doing this I had every intention of doing an individual article for all of them. Upon writing all the titles down, I had an epiphany…there are WAYYYYYYYY to many to attempt to do this. Thus, I’m going to bunch them up, and just write several reviews in one article making this three pieces (four if you count the gaming one)! Now all of them aren’t current, and all of them are not Horror or like that.
Before we get started, let me remind everyone (or if you are new, explain for the first time) how I do movie reviews. My rating system is not necessarily like other systems. I have a lot of factors to what differs from 1 Top Hat to a 5 Top Hat rating. Rest assured, I will tell you what those reasons are. I’m not one to slap a movie with a reason and then not give you a reason why it received that rating. Also keep in mind, my taste my differ from yours. Most tastes to differ, but the reason I and other sites review movies is to give you an idea. Or even better, a “Buyer Beware” if you will! Not to mention, it’s rather handy when you are able to relate to a reviewer. To know they are generally spot on with your taste makes it a little easier to make a decision. It’s also noteworthy that my reviews CONTAIN SPOILERS!! So consider this your one and only warning!! Other than that, that’s about all I can think of to explain. So with the formalities out of the way…let us begin!
I’m a huge fan of Adam Sandler. Generally speaking I like most of his work. His comedy work that is. I try to pretend such movies as Spanglish and Punch Drunk Love don’t exist! So I had some pretty high hopes for this movie upon seeing the trailer for it. I’m very happy to say that the movie delivered and then some. The story line follows a group of childhood friends that…well grew up! They have all gone their own seprate ways, and they are untied by the death of their mentor. The funeral lays the ground work for a very hilarious weekend where old friendships are renewed and marriages are saved. What are my thoughts?
Well, if you have seen any of Adam Sandler’s movies, you know about what kind of humor to expect. Now I’m not saying they are all the same, but I will say it follows the humor from about 50 First Dates on up. Rob Schneider is a great punch line in this movie! I hope this man was paid well, because it seems like he is the butt end of most of the jokes in this movie. The movie is very relatable, as everyone has at one point in their childhood had that unbreakable group of best friends that seem to have drifted apart once they “Grew Up”. I like comedies that you can look at and say, “Yeah that would be me,” or “Yep that is so (insert friend here)!” To me that makes a comedy that much better. I would love to site some of the jokes that I loved in this film, but to be honest there are just to many. I love all of the comedians in the film, and every one of them brings their own personal brand of humor to the table. So whats the final verdict? 5 Top Hats for roll in the floor laughs, ability to relate, and an all-star comedy cast!
This movie had me going either way. It was going to knock my socks off or make me want to commit myself. Really it did neither, I just found it a buzz kill. It was like I wasn’t really pissed with the movie, but I wasn’t pleased with it either. Just more I felt it was a waste of time. I will say to its credit I’m generally not a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio movies. However, taking back that credit, I will tell you that I’m a fan of both Ben Kingsley and Mark Ruffalo. The movie plays out like this, two U.S. Marshalls are sent to Shutter Island to investigate the disappearance of an escaped inmate. DiCaprio’s character is plagued by flash backs to his times in WWII and memories of his dead wife. Toward the middle of the movie they try twisting and turning the plot to keep you off-balance. Is there a dark secret on Shutter Island? What kind of experiments are going on? Was he lured there just to silence him? Unfortunately, it’s painfully obvious half way through that it is neither…
My main problem with the movie is the predictability of it. There are very few plot twists in the movie that I hadn’t thought of within the first 20 minutes. Of those plot twists, I was able to tell you the main message, he wasn’t going to make it off that rock. There also wasn’t a lot to keep your attention. In an effort to make the movie a “thinker” they end up throwing a slew of dream sequences that stop the movie dead. It’s not till the very end of the movie does it all fit, and by then you are really just disengaged. Then the ending is what made it worst! You finally get DiCaprio to where it looks like he is on the road to recovery. Then they try to go for the artsy ending. They make you think that he has relapsed back to his fantasy world. Something that is going to sign him up for an express ticket to a Lobotomy. This ending would have been depressing, but better than the one surprise of the whole movie. He then makes a comment that makes you see that he didn’t really lapse back, he’s just choosing to have a lobotomy over living with the fact his wife killed his kids. Now before you shake your finger at me and tell me what a great ending that was, do you know what a lobotomy does? If you don’t, Google it then come back…it’s OK I’ll wait………Now you tell me a lobotomy sounds better! I give the movie 2 Top Hats for great cinematography and some pretty cool visuals. However, it also get’s those 2 Top Hats because of a predictable story line, a horrible ending, and an annoying musical score.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this movie. The only experience I have with the games is maybe a demo and what my friends have told me and seen them play. I’ve never really gotten to know more than that. I also have to admit I had my reservations at seeing Jake Gyllenhaal as the action hero type. I don’t know about you, but I just didn’t see it. It was nice to be proven wrong. There were a few moments, but for the most part he stuck it pretty well. The story line that the movie follows in the story of Prince Dastan, a Prince of Persia (Oh look I said it! I said it!! I said the movie title!) Dastan is the wilder of the three heirs to the crown of Persia and adopted. Through an insidious plot (you’ll find out about that later) they head long into a battle with a holy city containing the legendary, Sands of Time. After the battle (in which they succeeded because of Dastan) the King is Assassinated. The movie takes off here as Dastan is set up for the murder, and he must prove his innocence. That is really as much as I want to give away.
What I liked about this movie is the very tight story line it paints. You have a special blend of action, drama, and comedy that really keeps you interested the whole way through. The casting is not bad at all with names like Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, and Alfred Molina. I also have to say the special effects in this movie were pretty over the top! It’s really nice to see Disney stepping up their game and delivering on some pretty decent action films. It certainly does give me hope for Marvel’s future in their hands. Another really cool thing is the style of action. The movie does a good job at recreating some of the death-defying acrobatics from the game. Whether its Dastan running sideways on a wall or free-falling off a ledge, it just has a way of pushing your fanboy button (or action junkie button, which ever you have). Taking all of this into account I give this movie 5 Top Hats. I’m sure if I ever play through the game I might end up shrinking it back one for accuracy. But, that will be a short time off. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time offers you a good thumping time. I don’t really recall having anything bad to say about this movie. I think it was because my expectations were set pretty low. You know what they say the lower the expectations, the more you may get surprised.
This movie I rented on a whim really. I didn’t know a lot about it, all I knew was it was a modern take on the vampire mythos. Now don’t get me wrong, I love when people try to rekindle the vampire story! It’s just a lot of people don’t do it any justice, or it’s like they just add vampires to the story for a draw. Upon watching the movie, I was left wanting several sequels! The story line is amazing, the actors even better. There are really too many good things to say. The story revolves around the concept of the world being overrun by vampires. With that many vampires in the world, homosapiens are about to go extinct. This also poses a real problem for vampires too, being that they will lose their food source. Actually two problems, one being obvious. The other is the more they starve the more they turn into a grotesque half man/ half bat creature. This is where you meet the main protagonist Edward Dalton, portrayed by Ethan Hawke. Edward is a scientist charged with creating a synthetic blood supply. I would also like to mention he doesn’t exactly like being a vampire. He still has a very soft spot for humanity because of this. A soft spot that leads him to hell and back.
Now like I said, this movie has a very tight story line. The writers really put a very cool modern spin on the vampire movie. The way that the vampires live, the technological advancements that allow them to live life in the dark is very new and interesting. There are really so many little details that this film covers, you can’t possibly list them all in a small review. Your main cast really plays a big part in this movie too! Willem Dafoe does what he does best with his role as Lionel “Elvis” Cormac, an ex-vampire that totes a bad-ass cross-bow! I also have to add it’s nice seeing Sam Neil in his villainous role as the head of a big blood supply company. There is just something about him that he plays a very good evil corporate America scum, with the added evil of being a vampire! Taking all of these things into account you have a good story line, a great cast, and a very nice visual presentation. All of which help me happily give this movie a 5 Top Hat rating. I really urge all who are looking for a good vampire movie to go and check this movie out. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.
Iron Man 2
If you know me you know that I am a HUGE fanboy when it comes to Marvel. I love all things Marvel, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to judge just based on that. No I was actually very nervous for this movie. When you are following a first movie as good as Iron Man, you have a lot to live up to! Iron Man 2 sets a really high bar for any comic movie to follow, including a third movie! our story takes place 6 months after the events of the first movie. Right away you are introduced to Ivan Vanko (Micky Rourke) a physicist whose family has a grudge against the Stark family. Did I forget to mention that he is the only other person in the world with access to the arc reactor technology? The second part of the story is Tony going through a self-destructive phase in his life (Yeah, I know as if alcoholism and womanizing wasn’t self-destructive enough!) You see the very arc reactor that is saving his life is also poisoning him. So he is in a race to find an alternate power source before the thing meant to save his life ends him. Take all of that and add that the government is breathing down his neck for the Iron Man suit…he is in some deep shit and it’s only been 20 minutes into the movie!
Now I can go on about how visually pleasing this movie, and how awesome Robert Downey Jr. is at playing Tony Stark, but you already know that! I’ll start with the new actor for Rhodes, Don Cheadle. This man did so much for the character that it’s hard to imagine anyone else playing the role. Not to say Terrance Howard was terrible, I just feel he could have not done the Rhodes that this movie needed. I will also add that Scarlett Johansson did wonderfully. I’m not a real big fan of her work, and I really have to say I’m usually not impressed with her as an actress. In this movie she delivers what no other woman has lately. A female Super Hero that doesn’t make you laugh out of the theater. Oh, and Micky Rourke! Where do I start? For the first time I’ve seen, you see a director go with a B list villain and turn him into a force to be reckoned with. Whiplash is such a great choice to pit against Tony Stark. He’s the exact opposite of Tony Stark that it makes it a perfect show down. I’m now left saying “Where do you go from here?” So as you all may have guessed I give this film a 5 Top Hat rating. This movie was Jon Faveau’s perfect storm. Will lightning strike a third time with Iron Man 3? Only time will tell ladies and gentleman…
Now, at this point you are either saying “Wow, Malice hardly any stinker you’ve either got impeccable taste in movies or your easy to please…” Well let me tell you, I do pride myself on knowing when a movie is going to be shit! This movie I went against my usual instinct. The reason I did this was for my love of Repo! The Genetic Opera. You see I couldn’t tell whether it was my love for Repo! that was causing my bullshit meter to go off, or the fact it was in fact a massive turd! The story line reads as this, Jude Law plays Remy. Remy is a repo man for the company simply called “The Union.” Remy and his partner Jake (Forrest Whitaker) are the best there is in the organ repossession game. What “The Union” does, is finance organs to people who need them. You know so you don’t have to worry about a donor. Catch is if you miss a payment, they send in…the Repo Men. (Is it just me, or does this story line sound REALLY familiar? Maybe it’s just me…) Remy is trying to struggle with the choice of either lose his family or switch to a desk job. “The Union” doesn’t like this. I mean how would you take losing your best man? So “The Union” in an effort to flex their muscle sets it up so Remy is going to need their help with an organ. This effectively binds him to the company, because the only way he can afford it is to stay a Repo Man. So basically, the company screws him over. To top it off, he has a meeting with his conscience and can no longer “perform.” Now Remy must fight against the company to survive! (I swear I’ve heard this story somewhere before…)
O.K. I will set aside completely pigeon holing this movie with Repo! The Genetic Opera jokes, because really I don’t need them. This movie sucks all on its own! To top it off, it’s not even really the whole movie sucks, but the last 5 minutes ofthis film are so unforgivable!! The ending of the movie sets you up with Remy and this girl he meets on the streets that is hooked on a street sedative for her organ transplants (….Don’t look at me I didn’t say anything….). These two have made pretty good friends and are trying to escape the system. The only way they can, is to make sure that their organs are checked out of the system. The only way to do this is to break into the main computer room at “The Unions” home office. There are some awesome fight scenes along the way here culminating in an even more awesome ass kicking sequence on their way down the hallway to this ‘core computer.” When they get in there it’s just a hole in the wall, a scanner, and a monitor. The only way they can check the organs out is to scan them out. Unfortunately the only way to do that is the Saw decision of “How much blood will you shed to gain your freedom?” So in an even more grizzly display of cutting each other open and rooting their hands and a handheld scanner around (and looking very much like they are having sex) they have to scan all of the bar codes. Now this isn’t hard for Remy, he only has the heart. Beth however has like 12-13 implants!! Upon doing this Frank (Leiv Streiber) and Jake finally gain entrance to the room. Frank is basically ignoring the fact that they beat the system and is going to kill Remy and Beth. Well this doesn’t sit well with Jake, so he kills Frank. Then with the help of Frank they stick a hole butt load of grenades into the central processing hole and blow the place to shit. Now the next scene is them relaxing on a beach somewhere, maybe in Mexico. They beat the company! Now best friends and new girlfriend can live happy and at peace at last (Yeah if you are asking yourself where the hell did this mans family go to that caused all these problems? I assure you, you are not alone…) So life is good right? Well it is until the beach background starts to glitch. You see you then are sucked back to 30 minutes to an hour earlier in the film when Remy was knocked over the head by Jake. “The Union” are working frantically trying to help bring Remy back with an experimental “Brain” implant designed for people in comas. Oh yeah they went there! The epic ending that they have set up is all a dream! I mean really who is going to overcome a corporate giant. That stuffs for movies!! This is the real world, and that’s what people go to a theater to see right, reality? I don’t have to go any further to describe to you why I hated this movie. I will ignore the obscure “Repossession Mambo” references that only Repo! fans will know about. I will ignore the numerous plot holes this movie creates. Just because of that movie I give this a rating of 1 Top Hat. The only reason I won’t give it a half of a Top Hat is because, it is rediculous to have a half of a hat. Who would wear it? That’s rubbish, and so is this movie. Congratulations to Repo Men for receiving the first ever Encyclopedia Psychotika Golden Turd Award for 2010. I don’t see how a movie that had such a great cast could be this bad. I guess going to show you that no matter how good the cast, it doesn’t save the movie!
p.s this goes to Jude Law, Forrest Whitaker, Leiv Streiber, and John Leguizamo…..SHAME ON YOU!!!
Lost Boys: The Thirst
Finally, we reach the end of Part I of this trilogy. What better way to end it, then by reviewing the third installment to The Lost Boys, Lost Boys: The Thirst. I must tell you that I am stepping outside the realm of traditional horror film reviewers at this point. I’m not a prude, and I do think that there are sometimes a return to a franchise can be a good thing. If not a really good way to stave off an inevitable remake. I would sometimes much rather you return and expand, rather than hollow out the original and use the puppet as your movie. In the second one you are reintroduced to the beloved Edgar Frog. In this one, they actually retcon some of the bad plot from the second one, and turn this one into a much better follow-up. It is really just too much of a shame that our dearly departed Corey Haim could not have been a part of this movie. The basis for this movie is that Edgar Frog is getting kicked out of his place. His whole life is falling apart. Then a girl comes to his door asking him to do what he does best kick some vampire tail! This time he must race to keep a vampire coven from performing a ritual that will make its leader super charged. He even goes to enlist the help of his brother Alan, already showed turned vamp in the first scene of the movie. Through a few plot twist, the insidious plot is revealed and you get to see what every fanboy wants, the Frog Brothers back in the business of kicking blood sucker ass (and business is good)!
This movie worked way better as a follow-up to the original on a few different levels. You actually have a more solid story that doesn’t get annoying. Alan is changed, but is not the evil douche he is portrayed to be in the second one. Sam still got turned. But in a tribute to him they tie it up and say that Edgar had to kill him. While we are on that, I will add that the little tribute they have to him in the form of Edgar’s cherished Batman #14, is just…touching really. Add that to the looks Edgar has when mentioning Sam, and it just gets down right teary! The movie achieves its point of reuniting the Frog Brothers for an excellent adventure. As good as it is though and as much as I love the story, there is a negative. Most the other characters in this movie are terrible actors or actresses. I mean they are barely worthy of a SyFy original. That being said I’m unable to give this movie a full perfect rating. I will give this movie a 4 Top Hat rating. Why? For a tight story line, decent visual effects, and sheer “rewatchability’.
Well that’s all for now! I know this has been a long epic of an article, but I assure you the next two sequels are just as big! Use these as you will. Whether they help you make a choice to or not to watch is entirely up to you! Hope everyone is having a good start to the year. Oh, and it’s good to be back in the saddle!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Hello, My Freaky Darlings! So, after an Mansinthe fueled night of fun, I feel like my batteries are charged and I’m ready to blow the whole worlds mind…That being said let me tell you what I have ben doing for the last little bit. For the last month I have been compiling data…I came to the realization I needed some fun material. With that I came to the conclusion that I wanted to review some video games and movies. I needed some time to catch myself up to speed however, and this is where the dry spell has come from. My friends and my lovely have recharged my batteries to past full, and for the first time in a little bit I feel I can sit here and entertain you fine ghouls and freaks! What better way to do this then to open straight into the best gaming experience I had to offer. Not just that but the movie opens tomorrow so really it’s just fitting. So it’s with great pleasure I tell you…
Welcome to the Grid!…TRON: Evolution
This game was a very visually pleasing experience. I really can’t wait untill I get a new T.V. to enjoy this game further! To fully set you in my mind-set, all I have to go into this series is the hype. I have never seen TRON and of course I have never seen TRON: Legacy. All I have to work off of is the hype and the trailer. Also, it is noteworthy that I am never to fond of Motion Picture to Gaming media type games. If it has anything to do with a movie, it usually tends to suck poo covered donkey balls! This game is a true exception. Before I give you my rating I will break things down into groups: Story, Graphics, and Game Play.
The story you follow bridges the gap between TRON and TRON: Legacy. Telling you exactly how the take over came to be and explaining the genocide of the ISO’s and the rise of Clu to power over the Grid. You play a new Moderator Program created by Flynn to investigate the Murder of one of the ISO leaders, Jalen. From here you are thrown into a conspiracy that involves an Evil Program Virus, Abraxas and Clu killing Tron and Flynn. This takes you on a wild ride across the grid to find out the truth and attempt to save the Grid. Not wanting to reveal too much plot, I will stop there.
Really the game does a good job at pacing an interesting story. There really isn’t too much predictability. By that I mean obviously you know a movie is coming out that involves Clu taking over, and Flynn and Quorra fighting him. So realisticly you know what the ending is. There was no way for you not to know how it was going to end, unless you spend your time in a drunken haze (Or with a coat hanger trying to tickle your brain!) The middle story though is pretty impressive! You start out thinking the plot is going to be just he Abraxas Virus, then it goes to Clu double-crossing Tron and Flynn, then to Mass Genocide, then to…I’m not going to ruin it! For a video game based on a movie, they did a pretty damn good job keeping you entertained and then making you think you have an exclusive bit of story. I for one am now going to be able to watch TRON: Legacy with a percent margin of .76% more understanding then the asshole next to me! “Who’s that Quorra girl? Well I know that! Maybe you should have played the game…! MWHAHAHA!!” “How did Clu do it? Why is Flynn in the game!? I know and you don’t! Sit in your confusion and rot foolish mortal!” The only thing l you will find as a let down is the very ending. Mostly this just happened because I was so swept up in the game I lost touch of my original preconceived ending…Why was I so swept up? Well that brings us to the next part of the review!
This game is every bit as visually appealing as the trailer to the fucking movie! I’m not even kidding. And this was even on my old Methuselah of a TV which is tiny as all get out! I can’t wait to put this on a flat screen and see how it all pans out. You get so swept up in the pretty surroundings honestly some times that makes you screw up. It just kept me saying “WOW! Look at that!” This even inspired me to want to see a theme park for the Grid. If it looks that cool on a video game, how cool do you think it’s going to be in person?
On a more technical note, I didn’t really notice any lag, there were no glitches to speak of, no trapping your self in a wall or falling into an endless abyss the really did good with the surroundings. I understand that the design when you think about it is pretty simplistic, but they went above and beyond to deliver a very visually pleasing atmosphere. This helps so that even when you are getting your ass handed to you, even when you are about to put your head through a wall…you can still look at that screen and say, “It’s just so damn pretty! I want to spend all day there riding my light cycle and throwing my disk at people!” Speaking of Disks, Light Cycles, Getting your ass handed to you, and wanting to put your head through a wall…that brings me to my last section!
The gameplay in this game is the only thing that I had room for improvement on. On one hand the amount of stuff it allows you to do is just awe-inspiring. The way you move through the game keeps you on your toes so that there is never a dull moment. You don’t spend a whole lot of time just straight running through the game. A lot of it is death-defying acrobatics much in the style of say, Prince of Persia. The combat system is pretty simplistic. You cycle through your different disc mods using the D-pad and the other attack buttons remain the same. controlling the vehicles is pretty linear too. More or less they are there to keep it fresh. The Bike is the best one. It is by far the funnest to play with. It’s also noteworthy that the leveling up system is pretty cool. Now for my room for improvement.
There were moments that you wanted to pull your hair out. If you come across a new enemy, you better pay close attention to the scan read out. If you miss how to kill this new foe, you are going to go through fifteen times of dying and doing it again to figure it out. Maybe even right down a note or two about them as you go so in the final stage when you go through the gauntlet, you will know what to do. Also, if you get Derezzed too many times, the music and sound effects tend to go a little screwy! Some times it would just bottom out and completely throw me off. Also some of the angles will kill you when you are doing a long stretch of acrobatics. Most of that was my fault though. I was spoiled by the navi cube in the very beginning because I was under the impression I was going to have it the whole time. (My bad for paying more attention to the colorful scenery and not enough to the wank talking to me!) The Tank levels also will drive you up a wall! It’s sort of difficult to get the hang of them. Once you do, it’s a done deal. I just feel they could have made it a bit more smooth.
On a separate note I want to mention the Multiplayer. I don’t include Multiplayer in the main reaction from the game, mostly because I think it is utter bullshit for a game to rely on multiplayer to save its ass from having a crappy story mode. Fighting games of corse are the exception to this, but you know what I mean. If you don’t know what i mean again there are three possibilities: 1) you just don’t understand games in general 2) you get your jollies by pouring acid in your ear 3) you love FPS’s, and are going to try to defend to the death their honor! With that out-of-the-way, TRON: Evolution has a really decent multiplayer mode. It plays much in the fashion of an FPS. You run around killing the other hapless gamers on the grid in a timed death match. The added coolness is you can have levels that are just straight forward battles, or you can have a little more open range, and jump on your light cycle to whoop some digital ass! I love how in addition to the awesome concept, you can gain levels and powers for story mode by playing in the gaming grid. So that if you just can’t win against a boss, go spend a little time practicing your mad skills, and then go back a derezz some BASIC scum!
I was really pleased with this game. Decent Story, Great Graphics, and Above average Gameplay make me round this review out at a solid 4 out of 5 Top hats. It comes highly recommended especially if you are a fan of TRON. So go out and rent it or buy it, and see what you think! All I can say is that I’m now fully interested in this series just because of this game! Kudo to you game designers, Thumbs up!
Be sure to stay tuned for more reviews on some newer games and some games that are a little older that I played anyway. Things are going to even out here a little pretty soon. Also, I have not forgotten the comic idea for Shaggy and Todd or my short stories. They are coming along nicely. I just want to make sure that they are more than just “Up to snuff” for My Freaky Darlings.Thats all for tonight, so…
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Dear Freaky Darlings, I do apologize for the dry spell that has taken over the last couple of weeks. recouping the Holiday is rough, and I have many adventures to share with many more to come. Rest assure the time has been well spent! Tonight, I give you this review of a great movie. Let this wet your chops because there is much more including Dusker of the Month for December! I hope this slacks your thirst for blood!
It’s been ten years since the franchise started and now it is all coming to an end. We all knew this day would come, after all, all dynasty’s have to end eventually. Harry Potter is no exception! So how did this glorious beginning of the end go? The only word that comes to mind is Epic! Lord of the Rings eat your heart out, Hit the bricks Twilight…Harry Potter has taken it to a whole new level of cool! I was absolutely wowed just by how good this movie really was. I was expecting a good movie , but for once my high standards were exceeded! There are many things I liked about this movie, and not a lot I think they could have improved upon. So grab your wands Darlings, and hold that broom stick tight! Here’s the Psychotik Review of…
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Let’s start with the story. The movie opens with all of the turmoil that is going through the wizard world. With Dumbledore dead, war is imminent.Hermione has to leave her parents and erase her existence for their sake. The Dursleys are leaving (which I’m sure is more good news then bad). The Order shows up to try to move Harry. In a cool special effect you get to see multiple people turn into Harry (Watch for Fleur-Harry…she is the funniest). After they do this they go on a high-speed broom chase through London in an attempt to confuse the Deatheaters. During this chase Hedwig is killed, George Weasley loses an ear, and Mad Eye Moody is killed. This really sets the tone for the movie. There is a lot of sacrifice and self discovery in this movie. I would go a bit further, but I’m more than positive most of you have either read the book, saw the movie already, or have seen the trailer. If not it will be posted below. Rather, I would like to move into the points I love about this film.
Now I could go on forever on what I loved about the special effects, and the casting, how the composer does a masterful job at creating an epic score…etc…We would literally be here all night! Instead, I would like to talk about the story and how it was presented. It was refreshing to see the series go back to its roots and truly show the friendship between the stories core three characters. That’s basically what this part is about. Reacquainting you with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Not since Prisoner of Azkaban has there been such a focus on the core friendship of the series. It’s understandable to an extent. Movies are different than books. You have to have more about the other characters as well. You should kind of get the picture that those three are best friends.
I also like how the story really paces itself. I was worried about this movie when I thought of how painful Return of the King was to sit through. The last in a series is usually the longest. Thank God they split this into two movies. Regardless of that, the movie does keep you wanting more. Each scene compliments the next. There is a fair amount of action, but it doesn’t over power the plot. The have the perfect mixture of Action, Drama, Special Effects, etc…it all comes together rather beautifully! If these movies don’t end in some sort of Academy Award, I think I will be really cheesed off!
Really I don’t want to give away too much. I would even love to pic out a few scenes for you, but there are just to many! The only thing I can say is if you haven’t seen it you really need to! It’s a great movie, and an awesome opener for the chaos that is going to be in Part 2. I will leave you with the knowledge that Dobby is a little bad ass. You really get to see exactly what those little House Elves are capable of! Also the way they animate the story of the Deathly Hallows is a bloody interesting way to do it. Kind of throws you for a loop! I give Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 5 Top Hats out of 5, and Malice Psychotik’s HIGHEST endorsement.
I apologize for the breif-ness, but as I said, there really isn’t much more I can say other than it is a truly epic movie, one of the greatest cinema spectaculars of the year, a life changing experience! Your life will mean less for NOT seeing it!
Until Next Time, My Freaky Darlings,
Check out the trailer here:
I’m generally the first one to say reality shows like Survivor suck. There are only so many times you can see people get betrayed, people breaking down from the stress, etc… etc… ad nauseum….before you want to take the producers of this show out back, and beat them! However, when I first got a load of the trailer for this one, I was pretty impressed. The Colony is a new take on the Survivor type reality show. Instead of “Can you survive this random wilderness” it’s more like “Can you survive a world fallen apart from a super contagium that is killing EVERYTHING!”
It was like love at first fright! Finally, someone comes up with a realistic show about survival. What if your world was turned upside down by a super virus that is killing everything (and everybody) you love, would you survive it? So far looking at the available videos, they make this very realistic. From scrounging for supplies, to setting up camp, and even coming across a group of hostiles! I can’t wait to get into this series more. I’ll be sure to check more out and report back later. For now, I leave you with a link and urge you to check this out. The only thing I would improve so far, is the addition of zombies (Then again they don’t call me Psychotik for nothing!) There are 6 episodes on the web page. The show first aired last Tuesday, and looks like it will continue Tuesdays at 10pm.
I have stewed over whether or not to review this movie for about a month now. I know how its a sensitive subject among die-nard horror fans. You know what though? I have never been one to follow “social norms,” so why start now? Usually, I consider the Twilight Saga a “guilty pleasure,” but this third installment really impressed me. This movie really stands out against the rest. I believe the biggest reason for this, is because there is a lot more action! Way more than in the others, thats for sure.
Eclipse opens in a way that was very out of the norm for these movies. It started like a freakin’ horror movie to be honest! Within the first five minuets you have a kid stalked, chased, and bit. This really starts to set the tone for the movie. Of course then it moves into the basic story line of the series. Bella is in love with Edward, but Jacob wants her too….I could go on but if you’re a fan you know it and if you aren’t you aren’t interested! Moving on! The main plot in the movie (not the book…the MOVIE) is a woman scorned vampire Victoria is creating a vampire army to kill the Cullens. Really all she even wants is Bella. Apparently she’s still a little tweaked because Edward killed her main squeeze to save his. I mean all her James did was try to kill Bella for no other reason than because he was bored! (I mean thats normal right? Whats Edwards problem? Pssht!) The MOVIE (see there I did it again) really doesn’t dwell on the love story, and I don’t really feel it needed to. There are only so many ways you can show that Edward loves Bella and she loves him back. But the little doggy (Jacob) wants some but can’t. This really is left more as a sub-plot. There are some funny scenes of the two (Edward and Jacob) butting heads, but really that’s about all I want to touch on that. Let us just dive into the positive parts shall we…..Some how I feel I’m loosing your attention!
Where do I start with the action? Well, it is worth mentioning that there is a mass feeding scene with all of the new vampires. You really get kind of surprised by it, as your really not expecting it! It’s kind of like “Oh laddeedadeeda….” “I SAID BE LESS DISCRETE!! (kicks a new-born) ((Cue another new-born smashing in one’s head to take his human)) There is even a dark back story to Jasper. A back story filled with him turning children to vampires, letting them live for a year, then breaking their necks! I scared everyone in the theater because I laughed! (Then again you are talking about the same person that goes into a giggle fit when he sees Anakin with the Younglings….”Master Skywalkers here! We’re saved!” snicker…chuckle). Hell, you even get to see more of Dakota Fannings dark side….she torchers a little girl and then has her killed (and you people called this a tween movie!?) This of course is just icing until you get to the big fight scene. In this scene you get to see the New Borns vs. The Cullens/ Wolves slug it out in a battle to save all humanity! (Ok not really just Bella and the rest of Forks…..but I digress…) I really didn’t think they were going to deliver as well. I mean what does a sparkly vampire do when you kill it……Apparently it smashes like the disco ball they look like! Yes you heard right they smash like a mirror! This effect looks cool as all get out, I really couldn’t get enough of it! Surprisingly, this scene got it’s point across without a drop of blood. In some cases it even made it worst then if it had all the gore!
I would like to also touch on the visual effects. This movie really delivers in the effect department. The vampires actually look really cool. The new-borns really sell as a pack of ravenous, blood thirsty, killing machines! To top that off the giant wolves just look….well cool. The graphics aren’t bad (Blurred running, wire work, CGI, vampires shattering….). Way better than the previous two. The scenery is pretty note worthy as well. (I’m a sucker for location). So where did I think the movie fell short? (I know you two in the back were waiting for it, I knew it!)
I think there could have been a tad more blood. I do know that they have to keep the PG-13 rating, but that is going to go right out the window in the next one anyway. Put your big boy pants on, and show me some blood. Your getting there, but I feel you came just short of the full-monty. Finally, whoever has the shaky hands…..GET THEM OFF THE CAMERA!! It was only in one or two scenes but was really bad, and highly unnecessary….
So what do I give the movie? Well I had some problems with it, so I don’t feel I’ll go all the way. I give it 4 out of 5 Top Hats. If you haven’t seen the movie, I implore you to give it a shot. I really feel you can’t give an honest opinion unless you see it for yourself. So many good movies get grossly over looked for no reason other than “Everybody else” said it wasn’t cool.
Until next time,